Glomp for hiimrobyn

Title: Black and Golden
Author: Anon
Prompt Number: 5
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: About 10000 words
Warnings: Language, homosexual theme, fluff
Summary: Black and Golden, or how Harry Potter decided something needed to be done and so, resolved to harrass Severus Snape into submission
Author's Note: First fic ever x3 Thank you for reading! If you want to jnow more about this fic, please read the header! =P Happy reading!
Beta'd by Tomo-chan



Once upon a time, Harry Potter decided something needed to be done and so, resolved to harrass Severus Snape into submission.


This would probably be the title of my book if I had one, which I don't by the way. Though Ron keeps telling me I would sell millions of them, I don't feel they need any more details on my life thank you very much.

Here I am, Harry Potter, once more facing a door, the resounding BANG still echoing in my eardrums. I sigh...I tend to sigh a lot these days, really. I might as well get you in my story, as uninteresting as it may be.

Last year had been what I can clearly call one of the worst year ever. Though it was a tie, with the year before when I was given as food to a very angry dragon, stole its egg, nearly drowned, lost myself countless time in the creepiest maze ever and got cut and touched by Voldemort while stomping over his own father's remnants while he himself was stomping over Cedric's dead body...a tie indeed. But last year had been...I don't even know why I keep refering to it as "last year" when the worst part actually happened a couple months ago...anyway, it had been a bit harsh on me. I still can't get over the guilt and the grief of having killed my own godfather and I probably won't. Seems really unlikely from where I'm standing.

Ron and Hermione are still there for me but they understand I need time so they let me keep to myself for now. It's not the case for most people really... Now they know I'm actually not a lying attention seeker, I'm getting stalked, embraced, hailed, apologized to and every possible human interaction you can think of. It's driving me mad! They don't know a single THING of what happened there, they don't know about the crucio I yelled to this friggin' mad bitch, they don't know shit about what their precious golden boy is feeling. I may pass for an angsty teenage boy but hell... even I admit that's what I AM! But let's not duel on that for now. The thing is, I did learn something, and I wasn't going to forget about it anytime soon either. My mind had to be closed. It had to be sealed, hid, burried, impervioused to any attempt at revealing it, I wouldn't be the death of any more friends of mine, nor anyone's really. Lesson learned, thanks very much Fate.

My problem is, Dumbledore might have been happy about my resolve to resume occlumency, but Snape wasn't... in-the-LEAST. I asked Dumbledore...alright I begged him, to teach me occlumency himself, but the old fool kept telling me his mind isn't what it used to be, that he was too old for this, excuses, a hell lot of them too! Though he did look sick, his blackened hand wasn't something I was ready to face anytime soon. He kept thinking me a fool, saying it was nothing but a stupid accident and kept changing the subject and making me forget with lemon drops, but I knew it was anything but. Yet here I am, knowing Snape is my only choice, knowing this hateful, spiteful dongeon bat is the only hope for me to stop being a time bomb for my friends and here HE was going out of his way to slam the door in my face and avoid me!

........

Alright, I DID look through his pensieve...once. I DO admit it wasn't the most intelligent thing to do especially when said pensieve belongs to an ex deatheater, possibly STILL deatheater hating my guts and yet, yet I don't think I actually regret it. I do regret my lack of... finesse in this matter, after all it would piss me off royally to find someone like Malfoy nose deep in my thrice damned memory but the man DID spend 3 hours delving into mine so....alright that's a lame excuse, I was curious I know I keep getting into troubles but I SWEAR they find me faster than I find them!

As I was saying, I don't actually regret it, because it showed me what Snape had always told me about my father, that he was a big-headed, bully of a prick. And that did hurt to know that. It felt weird to realise my father and mother knew Snape, that my mother happened to have been friend with him way before she actually met my father. I wonder if they ever talked again after he insulted her...whatever. I did learn a bit about Snape himself, not that I wanted to but still. He does appear to have lived pretty much the way I lived, except it was not his uncle, it was his own father...That's why I don't regret it either, I am learning to understand why Snape is the way he is, which is a polite way to say a complete murderous jerk, ha! Sorry...

I sometimes wonder what I would be like if I had not been who I am, if I had only been a beaten, starved child, if I hadn't met with Ron or Hermione, if I had been bullied at school, hated, made fun of, if my only friend had turned her back on me after I stepped on the boundaries. This is usually when the tattoo on his left arm makes perfect sense to me. I too would probably have been attracted to a man like Malfoy Senior, a rich, respected and powerful man, a man who would have talked to me while others wouldn't, a man who would have showed me power...I would have embraced Voldemort then too. He probably was quite the charismatic leader while he retained his human appearance, I can see it. I can understand why people went to him...bowed to him...served him...even I, the so called epitom of light had to fight these urges sometimes when I find myself facing him. It is a strange relationship we have, Voldemort and I...

I hate him, I want to see him dead and yet, I sometimes have the feeling I belong to him, that I was meant for him to do as he pleases, meant for him to kill. Weird isn't it? But anyway, that is why I can't find it in myself to actually hate Snape the way I used to, I can't seem to even remember what it was like to actually hate him this gut-deep. I'm not saying I like him, god forbids anyone who does! If anyone does, which I really doubt seeing the man we are talking about. I just...*sigh*

It's quite complicated really...sometimes I wish I would unsee what I have seen of him and yet, sometimes I don't. It happens, in DADA class, that I would watch him, and start to feel for him, to sympathise, after all, we are not far off each other family-wise, and then he would ruin it all, catch my gaze and do something particularily aweful, like insulting me or once again my father and I would start hating him again, it was maddening! Could the man not give it a break! He was honestly hated by a good 3/4 of the school, quietly insulted by the other quarter each time he turned his back, he had the fucking dark mark on his arm and STILL he had to add to the fire!

See? I'm starting to get angry at him again! Sometimes I really wonder how Dumbledore can stand him...I would have killed my own child rather than see him turn out like this.

...

Alright...I feel really bad for having thought that... Knowing his father actually tried to do just that, knowing that he has access to every student mind in this castle and that he probably knows what everyone thinks of him when nobody actually knows what he has been through makes me want to hug him...and that's the weirdest thought ever to come to my mind I'm not kidding! This must be my knack for desperate cases talking, as Hermione once put it.

Weirdly enough, I know Voldemort's family wasn't ideal either and yet it doesn't make me feel like hugging HIM! Ew.No. But after all, Snape did save me countless times, and I'm pretty sure he was the one to warn the order about Snuffles, AND he didn't kill my entire family and tried to decimate my own person 20 times a year...that might play.

Am I getting off track?

So here I am, beginning of October, 6th year, and a broken nose not set that straight...blond prick. But I won't tell you my own story will I?

Maybe I can show you...?

...Then again maybe not.


Harry potter woke up this morning, more determined than ever. He had been ignored for weeks, insulted, humiliated, screamed at, sneered at, smirked at, but he WOULD obtain what he wants, that was to be sure. It was time to be cunning.


20 minutes later found our national hero outside Dumbledore's office, ready to plead, carefully crafted innocent face on. He had a theory, a very blurry one mind you but still a theory. That theory was, that Snape might hate him and scream at him and ruin his life, but he would never be able to say no to Dumbledore. Nobody said not to Dumbledore, period.


45 minutes later and a very irate Snape was storming out, black cloak and hair bellowing behind him.


5 minutes later and a very smug Harry Potter was coming out.


When Dumbledore had heard about Snape not ready to give in, he had called him, and discreetly guilted him into doing it. Oh, and he had accepted for the lesson to take place in his private quarters. He had been forced to really...but damn if Harry was going to get mind-raped in a cold and creepy dungeon ever again!
'Cunning isn't so bad after all' was he thinking at this moment.


To say the first occlumency session since 5th year went badly...is a huge understatement. Simple as it is, when you are praying for something not to be discovered, it's usually the first thing on your mind, whether you want it or you're desperately trying to hide it like Harry had been. Needless to say, Getting Snape confronted with his own memories had not gone well...at all. He had been kicked on his butt and thrown out the door with a healthy dose of insults.
Damn.
At least Snape's quarter weren't half bad. It was dark, yes. It was completely impersonnal, yes. It was sad and depressing, yes. But it wasn't cold and filled with dead creatures' organs! That was a clear improvement.


Needless to say, it had taken an entire week and a twinkling Dumbledore to get a new appointment from Snape.


To say the second one went well, would be the most outrageous of lies. Harry had spent the week exercising to forget about Snape's memories, and it once again, had been the first thing said Snape had been confronted to. Except this time, Harry defended himself with the first spell that came to his mind which had been "muffliato".
Error.
He later realised using a spell against his own creator wasn't the most intelligent thing to do, even if he didn't know it at the time. Snape's incredulity had transformed to understanding and anger as he finally understood how the precious golden boy who had always been especially weak in his class, was now head of Slughorn's.
Needless to say, Harry left very much bookless, as lame in potions as he had always been. The awe that came to his face when he realised Snape was the half-blood prince did nothing to salvage the dungeon bat, though the incredulity that followed said expression gave Harry a 2 seconds advance to flee without getting kicked. Unfortunately, Snape had a spell for that...
The only piece of information worth remembering in Harry's mind had been that he would be expelled AND killed by Snape if he ever used one tiny little spell from his book again. Great.
It took two weeks this time, and several twinkling Dumbledores to get Snape to teach him again. Which it left ample time for Harry to realise Snape was well and truly the Half-Blood Prince, which had two main consequences.
First, Harry had been quite star struck by the Prince, and was now by association, getting star struck by Snape.
Second...He was getting star struck by Snape of all people for fuck's sake!


After the fourth time flat on his butt, the walls around shaking from the violent door slamming, Harry realised he needed to do something. He couldn't very well keep coming to Snape, no progress made and be kicked out the door, there was clearly something he wasn't doing right.
After much more thinking, laying on his bed, Harry decided it was time to visit a place he had sworn never to enter willingly.
The library.
He went in the night, invisibility cloak on, and pawed through the restricted section, looking for anything that would help him understand.
20 minutes later and he had found it, an old tome on mind games that looked promising.
He spent a good part of the night reading it, taking notes of what could be useful to him. He had time anyway, his next lesson would be the week after.
As his lesson approached, harry's understanding of mind work kept growing. He might be ready for once.


To say the 5th occlumency lesson wasn't so bad...would not be too far off the mark altogether. Snape had looked pretty tired, pretty sick even, but Harry didn't comment, knowing it would get him another set of butt bruises. They had started the lesson the same way as ever, with Snape getting straight into it. Harry had not been able to stop him the first time, but pieces had started to click together in his mind. An hour later and Harry was still going, much to Snape's surprise. He still couldn't stop him, and it was still painful, but it wasn't anything he had not seen and slowly, his mind was working to defend itself.
He left on his own two foot this time, butt unbruised. The door still slammed, but Snape's nod had told him what he needed to know: he was on the right path.
Weeks passed and Harry's mind kept getting stronger. The book had been a huge help, as it had made him realise occlumency wasn't about hiding and forgetting memories, it was about making others believe it. Once he would have tried to create a wall in his mind and hide everything behing, leaving a blank at the front of his mind, and of course it wouldn't have worked. Only a mind like Snape's would be able to, after so much practicing. It wasn't about that at all, and he understood that a few weeks later.
There wasn't any wall to be added anywhere. Memories were the wall, they were what he needed, what he had been looking for, he didn't need anything else. He would join his important memories in the center of his mind, and he would surround them with all the others, less important, good memories, bad memories, dreams, nightmares, each ot them sending the viewer to another and another, entwining him and never letting him near the center. Which would mean Voldemort would never have access to him again. He would never possess him again like he did, he would never transform his fears into fake visions, everyone he loves would be safe, at last.
Or at least it was the theory.
Practicing it was something else entirely. It was difficult and tricky and it demanded not to be burried by his own memories, it was hard.
Snape, amazingly, helped. He made tea when Harry was ready to faint and actually gave long advice on mind problems that were so reminescent of the Prince's that Harry began wondering if 'star struck' wasn't beginning to bleed on 'crush'.
Preposterous thought really.
The more work he achieved on his mind, the longer he stayed in Snape's quarters, the more he learned about his teacher.
Snape didn't open to him really, if at all, but Harry was starting to understand Snape 'language' as it was.
Hatred had long passed between them, faster on Harry's part but Snape had come around little by little. It may have helped that Harry was actually doing his best to stop resembling his father. Yes his hair was a mess, yes he wore round glasses, but when a lesson was going wrong, and he didn't understand something and Snape wasn't helping at all, he wouldn't jump to his throat and antagonize him, no, that's what he would have done last year maybe, what his father would have done, mistrusting him every turn, doubting his word, something in Harry told him Snape needed to be trust, and so he would sit quietly, by Snape's chair, take his book and start looking for why it wasn't working. He would make a list on the side, so he would write whatever felt of importance to the task. Usually, a good half an hour later and Snape was feeling lenient enough to highlight some sentences of importance he had overlooked. The book had long been properly rented by Harry on Snape's written word, when it became clear sneaking after curfew in the middle of the night would get him nowhere with him.
Snape appeared to be a stickler for the rule but he wasn't really. He just didn't like Harry getting priviledge, causing mischief without retribution. It reminded way too much of things he didn't want to remember and Harry had understood it quite clearly, which is why he had stopped using the cloak and the map. If he couldn't sleep, then he did like any other teenagers that couldn't sleep, he went to his common room by the fire and thought about things, daydreamed or played with crookshanks. Weirdly, that made him feel good to know Snape would approve of his new ways.
Harry had come to the conclusion that Snape was like an abused dog, god forbid anyone told him he thought that! But it was the closest he had come to describe him. The man had had no reason to trust anyone in his life, his father had hated him, beaten him, rejected him, his mother had tried protecting him and got beaten for it, he had been bullied in school, hated for his looks, made fun of, he had joined Voldemort, went back to Dumbledore for something Harry wasn't stupid enough not to understand had to do with his mother's death, and he was now a teacher at a school where students hated him, made fun of him for his looks, where teacher didn't like him that much, it was maddening! Of course Snape did have something to do with how students and teachers saw him, he was sarcastic, degrading, bitter and overall not nice at all, but that's where the analogy comes in handy. A starved and beaten dog, having been starved and beaten all its life will answer the same way to his abuser than to the most well meaning person in the planet: with his fangs firmly sheathed into one's butt. And would you blame the dog? How was it to know this new person wasn't looking to hurt him all over again? how was it to know it brung food? And water? How can it know who to trust and who not to? Well it can't unless the new person takes the time to prove the dog it can trust him, to prove it is cared for. And that's why Harry wasn't surprised by Snape's attitude, humans were famous to be the most unreliable and treacherous beings on earth, no wonder Snape was saying "fuck off" to all of them, he would too, probably does most of the time anyway. So Harry in full understanding of this, had positionned himself as the 'well-meaning person', by being calm around him, by thinking things through before screaming at him, by stopping being unreliable and angsty, by simply trusting him.
And if Harry was guessing right, that simple fact changed their relationship for the best. Snape relaxed a bit in his presence, simple things like crossing his legs when he would have sat ramrod straight a month prior, he would sip his tea quietly while Harry was once again stuck, nose deep in his book, and he recently took the habit of taking off his long outer robe. It wasn't much, he still wore a pretty formal intricate black robe underneath but it's nontheless a habit Harry pretty much delighted in.
Oh of course Snape wasn't very tall, nor conventionnaly handsome, he was very thin, probably too thin but the tight fit of the robe and the less formal look complimented him well, and that's the only thing Harry saw.
So much for a tiny, tiny little 'start struck'...


A few days later and Harry's wall was complete.


Two weeks later and several sneaky mind attacks from Snape and even Dumbledore couldn't break it.


That's when things went a little bit awry.


You see, the advantage of having a weak, Voldemort-prone mind was that nobody gave you important piece of information. Of course Harry had always wanted to KNOW what was going on. But now that he knew, he wasn't so sure.
The next day was spent trying to forget under his cover.
Dumbledore was dying, Snape was a spy, Snape had to kill him, the Gaunt's ring, the horcruxes, everything had to be destroyed, or Voldemort wouldn't be.
His mind was a mess, he had finally gone out of his room and was wandering aimlessly in the silent corridors. He didn't know what to think of it all. Snape was a spy! It meant more bad news than good. He didn't doubt Snape's allegiance anymore, but hadn't for some time now, so the news didn't bring him any reconfort. The only thought in his head was that Snape was going on risking his life every turn for a mistake he committed 20 years ago and thinking one day he could very well not come back from a little session with the snake filled his heart with ice.
He really needed to calm down, after all, there was no way he would survive this war himself. Absolutely no way.
That's where he heard sniffing, from the bahroom on his right. He had not even realised he had gone this far in the castle but what does it matter, he was in no mind to plan.
He hadn't thought about what he would face when he entered that bathroom, but he would never have guessed Draco Malfoy was the answer.
Though he should have known better than following his curiosity really.


He had tried to talk, but the crying man had cursed him straight away.
...
Or maybe half screaming "MALFOY" when the man was crying silently in an abandonned girl's bathroom hadn't been the best approach...
...Right...


5 minutes later and the bathroom was looking pretty much devastated.


Half a second later and Malfoy was casting the infamous crucio at Harry whose mouth had nearly finished the word "sectumsempra" before he remembered his promise to Snape and snapped his mouth shut, and he had never been so glad for that thought as to when Snape actually told him later, what the spell did. Knowing he wouldn't have another spell ready on time, he took the curse straight in the chest and collapsed in a heap of painfull mess.
Let's say that got the blonde's attention if the frightful, panicked scream was anything to go by.
The spell hadn't been very powerful, painful, yes, but not enough to paralyse. More of a spell cast to get away than to hurt. Talk about another beaten dog, really.
It took 4 seconds for Draco to get his bearing and try to flee but Harry was faster. He locked the door and bodybound him, then took his wand. He conjured ropes and a chair a fastened Malfoy to it before he took off the bodybind.
He hadn't thought of what to do past that really, as usual he had acted on impulse and the best would probably be to call a teacher but he needed to know things first, he needed to be sure.
He had seen how Malfoy acted this year and it was completely opposite to what he was used to and that, in addition to everything, scared him. Yes he didn't like the prick, but he recognized the signs, he had seen them long enough during occlumency.
If Malfoy had looked panicked, it was nothing compared to what he looked like when Harry conjured the knife.
Honestly what was the blonde thinking! That he would cut him to shred? idiot.
He cut and ripped the left arm of Malfoy's shirt, ignoring his teary pleas and got a good look at what he had been praying wouldn't be here.
Damn Voldemort to hell.
Marking teenagers now? A coward like Malfoy? Who clearly did NOT want to be part of any of this, if the intensity of the crucio had been anything to go by? He had felt concern for the man thoughout the year, as his body became thinner, his face hollower, his smirks rare, his smiles nonexsitant and he couldn't believe one moment Malfoy went through it willingly. Not one. And he would make sure of it.
He spent 30 seconds trying to enter Draco's mind, and when he was proven he in fact, couldn't, he resorted to asking questions. It's only when he had taken Malfoy's wand by the two extremities and was ready to snap it in half in front of him that he snapped.
"YOU DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND POTTER! I CAN'T TELL YOU ANYTHING!"
And that's when Harry understood Malfoy might be refering to his previous unability to keep Voldemort out of his head, fact that would be well known now amongst deatheaters.
Harry being Harry, he decided on a bet.
He would cut him loose and give him his wand. If he succeeded in entering Harry's mind, he would be let go. If he didn't succeed, he would tell him what he wants to know. If he tried to flee or curse him, the ministry would be on about his little crucio attempt. Fairly simple.
It all unravelled from here, Malfoy of course didn't succeed but looked more relieved about that than anything. He didn't curse him either which was a relief in Harry's opinion and in the end, they talked for more than an hour. Harry learnt he had been threatened into getting the mark, and given a task Voldemort knew he would never be able to accomplish, all that to get back at his parents. Draco told him he had thought he was made for this, that he had been raised for this, but even his father wasn't sure anymore, even him wanted out but couldn't. He admitted he didn't like Granger but didn't want to slit her throat open either. He didn't know what to do anymore. Needless to say it got to Harry's heart quick enough.
It took some convincing on Harry's part for Malfoy to willingly go in Dumbledore's office. Upon entrance, the old man understood quick enough and asked Draco what he wanted to do. Against all odds, the man asked to become a spy, so he could go on protecting his parents the best he could. Harry looked surprised at that, told him he wasn't that much of a coward in the end.
Draco had to swear an oath, same as Harry and Snape, to protect the informations he would be given and the people he held dear.
Snape entered not much later, which made Draco panick in record time.
Understandable really, since he might have been his godfather, but he was still a deatheater for him, and a faithful one at that.
What happened next shocked both Harry and Draco as Snape, upon hearing what was going on, whispered "thank god" and hugged Draco so tightly it had to hurt. Though Harry wouldn't know would he? It wasn't HE that got hug by Snape...and NO he was NOT pouting.
In the end, Harry couldn't stop himself and told them to get a room, which was followed by a faint blush and a scowl from one, a look of pure incomprehension and shock, morphing slowly into comprehension and what looked way too much like a mocking smirk for harry's comfort in another, and a healthy dose of barely contained twinkling from the last one.
Then, the Scowl and the Twinkling asked Mocking smirk and Embarassed Harry to go back to their room, but not before Scowl asked Embarassed Harry to be at his quarters at 9.
It took some time for Malfoy to successfully say 'thank you' to Harry on the way back but in the end he did it. Of course it took no time at all after that to tease him relentlessely about his tiny little crush on his godfather...which Harry masterfully ignored...prick.
Once in Gryffindor territory, and for the first time in a long while, he spent a quiet afternoon with Hermione and Ron, talking nonsense and playing chess. After all the serious stuff, it felt good to have his friends again.
At 8.45, he left for Snape's private quarter. He might master occlumency, but he still needed training. They talked a bit during this time. Snape never thanked him for what he had done earlier but as he began to talk about the Prince, Harry understood it for what it was. He learned at last that Prince was Snape's mother's name, and that he had actually been very close to knowing the truth when he had found about Eileen Prince, Hogwart's gobblestones team captain.
Harry went on reading the second book on mind games he had found and time passed until Snape told him he was already way past curfew and he really needed to go. Harry pleaded until Snape abandonned and went to sleep, promising harsh retribution if he was still on his couch come morning.
Harry had smiled at that, as he got back to his reading, surrounded by the scent of the one he was steadily learning to fall in love with.
Come to think of it, he really should have expected to get thrown out on his arse, hardly awake and dishevelled when Snape found him the next morning, fast asleep on the couch, but it didn't make his butt hurt less.
If he ever wondered about the taste of coffee on his lips, he didn't mention it.


It had been three weeks since then and Harry was peacefully sleeping when the white fox came. Glowing but weak and choppy, like an old television and it would have scared him to hell if it hadn't spoken quietly in Malfoy's voice.
"Come...quarters... now"
Blast his resolutions to hell, he grabbed his cloak and ran.
It took 2 minutes and a half to run through half of the castle and barge in Snape's quarters, whizzing like the Hogwarts express, and upon seeing a bloody Malfoy on the floor and a ghostly pale Snape sprawled on the couch he couldn't help but feel relieved: at least they were alive.
Snape looked tired and nearly unconscious but stable enough so he went to Malfoy, who was now spitting blood on the floor.
It took nearly 5 minutes to stabilize him with spells he knew and potions Snape was describing him from the couch but in the end all went well. He conjured a soft matress and carried him on it telling him he could sleep now, but as Malfoy thanked him and was ready to faint, he said something that made Harry uneasy.
"Stubborn..man..............concealing....charm......heal" he said as he kept staring at Harry willing him to understand, and when he did, when the confused look in the green eyes transformed to angst and panick, only then did he allow himself to succomb to his body's need and close his eyes.
'He wouldn't dare...would he??' was thinking Harry while he stood over the near unconscious form of Snape. But the pool of blood quickly forming on the couch informed him that he indeed, dared.
It took him 5 other precious minutes for Harry to break through Snape's heavy concealment charms, much to the man's protest and when he finally did, he promised himself to kick the man to the moon first thing when he was recovered enough.
"Of all the...! Fuck you Snape! People would think you would start trusting me enough to handle that sort of thing would they? WHAT where you going to do with this eh? you can't even go to Pomfresh for fuck's sake!"
"Lan..guage...Potter"
"How can you be so.....so.....INFURIATING! Tell me what to do!" It was clear Harry wasn't a medic and he needed Snape to cooperate and tell him what needed to be done or their could be some serious consequences. He didn't even know where the man hurt!
"Don't...need...help...I can perfectly...take care of myself...leave" ....What?
"Alright Snape you're going to listen to me and listen to me GOOD! I'm not leaving here until the BLOOD on your COUCH is BACK in your BODY am I being CLEAR? And if you keep your "I don't need help whatsoever" act it will be MY pleasure to PRESS FIRMLY on EACH and EVERY CUT THERE IS ON YOUR BODY UNTIL YOU LET ME HEAL YOU IS IT CLEAR ENOUGH!" Thank god for silencing charms or half the castle would already be here...
Harry never knew if that was his raised voice, his serious expression or the promise of more pain that got Snape to talk, but the principal is he did talk and everything went fine...until 5 minutes later.
"You're not...taking my...clothes off Po..tter"
"Silly of me...and here I thought for a minute you were going to make this EASY! I'm not healing your rib, which is by the way NOT in a natural position at ALL, through your ROBE!"
"Potter...I'm not discussing...you're not...taking it off.."
"I'm trying very hard to be patient here Snape, while you are apparently being a masochist and prolonging your pain willingly but if I have to tie you down or bodybind you to heal you, I will."
"I will kill you...Potter...if you do..."
"What the FUCK Snape I'm trying to HEAL YOU HERE!"
"It's..none of your...business..Potter, Leave..."
" LIKE FUCK I...."
"Potter! Come here!" shit...
"Not you too Malfoy! what is it? You hurting somewhere?" Clearly he wasn't a medic and he was dearly hoping Draco didn't hurt and would recover swiftly. It's not until he was kneeling by his side that Draco spoke again, quietly so only the two of them could hear.
"He has scars Potter, and he hates them...I saw them once...he got very angry...it's why he won't...let you...but force him...please...I saw what Voldemort did...he probably has several broken bones...and misplaced joints...heal him...please."
" Of all the stupid reasons...I will Draco, even if I have to stun him..."
"Thanks...*cough*"
"Easy...thanks for telling me...think you can sleep?"
"Yeah, should be good...if you stop yelling it is..." Harry never had thought he would say that one day but damn it felt good to see him smirk again.
" *snort* Sorry, bear with it a bit, it will be calm soon enough, I'm not done with him yet..."
Oh yes there would be screaming alright!
"SEVERUS FUCKING SNAPE!" was Harry's less than quiet approach to the now very bloody couch. "I AM TAKING YOUR CLOTHES OFF RIGHT NOW AND NEITHER YOUR NOR YOUR STUPID SCARS WON'T STOP ME"
"Fuck you Potter! You're not touching me...you don't...know...anything...being perfect golden boy...leave NOW"
"Alright, I'm done being patient. You think I don't understand. IS THAT IT? you think I don't KNOW WHAT SCARS ARE? You think I'll be disgusted or I don't know what shit? Then take a look COME ON!"
Harry's shirt went flying to the ground, half ripped. His thin chest glistening with sweat was catching the soft light as many scars were bared to view. They didn't look painful or deep, but they were visible nonetheless, some more than others. He turned around like a woman exhibiting a new dress, and his back held the heavier looking ones.
"How......?" Was Snape's strangled whisper, eyes wide taking in the sad view of a child's ruined body.
"The ones on my back...come from my cousin, when he found it funny to push me against the neighbour's electrified barbed wires. Though some of the lashes might not be that visible, as they might be crossed with the burns I got from where he tried to fit me in the oven...shame it had been on. The aweful looking on on my left forearm well...you can thank snakeface but you probably knew right?"
"Bastards...to do that...to a child..." He had turned his eyes, apparently unable to deal with it.
"Weren't you? A child?" This was the moment of truth. Either Snape helped, either he would have to bind him. Honestly the talk was taking too long, did he have a death wish or something? Dying in his own blood??
"Not...for all of them. Fuck you...Potter" But the sentiments weren't there, and Snape actually was using his magic to unbutton the heaviest of his clothing.
"Much appreciated Snape really..."
"Don't ask...more of me" He was havng difficulty moving, and breathing and only his shirt was left to unbutton.
"I won't...try not to move" As he came closer, Snape tensed but stopped talking. His clothing got banished, his shirt ripped and Harry didn't even pay attention to any scars. Blood was everywhere, two ribs where sticking out and his neck had taken a blue-violet tint that meant trouble. Harry barely held the "ouch, that got to hurt" comment that was fighting to go out as his own stomach was starting to backflip unpleasantly.
It took all of Snape's and Harry's efforts combined to stop the blood, replace the bones and heal nearly everything except bruises. Snape was past exhausted but Harry didn't want to let him sleep on the bloody couch so he carried him, using a featherlight charm to his bed after cleaning him and got him under the covers. He had seen the scars by now, and they didn't look light. They were on his chest, his hips, his back...but he didn't care. He wanted to tell Snape he didn't care, that he thought he was beautiful the way he was, but he knew he would get AK'ed straight away so he closed his mouth and did the only thing he was brave enough to do, he placed a kiss on his chest, straight above the heart, where a deep scar could be seen running, and hoped the message was clear enough.
Before Snape could say a word, if he was even capable of it right now, he burried him under the cover and went back to the main room, but not before telling him he would stay there, if he needed any help.
He went back to Draco and proceeded to clean him too, so he wouldn't wake up drenched in blood. He cleaned the couch and threw the used potions away before himself succumbing to sleep.


Unfortunately, from there the problems kept coming. The horcurx quest was coming about slowly, Voldemort's attacks on muggles and wizzards alike were becoming more frequent, the nights like this one where Harry needed to heal the both of them kept coming. They all knew what it meant.
Things were moving.
The end was near.


Problems went on as Harry was called by Dumbledore one evening.


He was found much later, wandering the halls like an empty shell by Draco, who panicked and got him to Snape before going back to the Slytherins, to not appear suspicious.
It took Harry some time to get out of that shell, Snape had got him on his couch and had tried to make him drink a calming draught, but Harry hadn't respond so he had taken the matter in his hands. He had quietly taken him in his bed and had unscrewed the bottle, downing it himself before straddling Harry and closing his mouth on his. Their lips moved together for a while until Harry finally swallowed and Snape took him in his arm, holding him, patiently waiting for him to break.
And break he did. Harry cried and cried as Snape tightened his hold on him feeling his heart break, the longer harry's tears fell.
After the hurrican came the calm. Harry calmed down but stayed in the man's arms, thinking he never wanted him to let go.
Snape asked him then: "He told you about the last horcrux didn't he?"
Because he already knew, that Dumbledore wouldn't be able to keep it a secret for much longer. Things were moving too fast, shadows were closing in on them.
Harry only nodded and sniffed quietly, slowly gaining his countenance back. The potion had taken effect a long time ago, but Snape's arms around him were working best.
"Sorry..." was the quiet whisper that came a while later.
"You have nothing to be sorry for Potter" He knew he should untighten his arms but he didn't want to.
"Harry...please...call me Harry...just for a little while"
"Alright...Harry"
"wow...feels weird" Harry had then giggled.
"You were the one to ask...brat" There was no venom in his voice as he was content to hear harry's laugh.
Harry became serious again then, and appologized anew. He told him it's not as if he hadn't known he was to die, it had juste taken him by surprise, after everything.
Snape had then acted selfishely, for the first time since long, and had kissed Harry, gently, a simple mouth to mouth contact but Harry had melted like butter under a summer's sun. In the end they kissed for a while, no pressure, as they didn't want to take it further. Innocent, could have described it the best, as they both were when it came to sentiments.
They talked a lot after that, about the war to come and in the end, Harry arrived to a conclusion.
"Fuck destiny!" He had said "You want me to die? You want him to die as well? Then fuck you! I will kill Voldemort, even if I have to rip his head off myself with my own teeth but I won't die! And you won't either...Severus." He had then looked in his dark brown eyes and told him "If I survive this and you died a stupid death you could have easily overcome with potions or spells, I can assure you I will revive you and kill you myself".
Severus had not understood it at the time, why Harry would want to burden himself with an old man, broken man, who had never known love and who was the farthest he could find from beautiful and nice so he had asked him. He honestly hadn't thought Harry would want anything to do with him if they were to both survive, at least not romantically speaking.
Obviously it made Harry angry, so he explained himself quite clearly. Every points that make him like him. Every little facts that made him love him, and for each of this facts, Harry would kiss one scar. The end of this little speech found Harry at Snape's slender waist, lavishing it with his tongue while a very short of breath Snape was trying his best to reign in his body, his chest still burning from Harry's kisses and little nips.
They stopped here though, as neither of them felt it would be good to step on the boundaries for now, but Harry assured him after a well placed kiss that the next time, when the war was done, and Voldemort dead, he would not stop, as the sight of him, panting on his own bed had made him feel a fever he had never experienced of his living.
Sweetly enough, Snape had looked thoroughly embarassed.
Not much happened after that, Snape told Harry he was a cheeky brat, and they fell asleep on that promise, cuddling together.


Things happened fast after this. Dumbledore told him it was time he accompanied him, and when he crossed Draco that evening, he knew this night would change everything.
"They are coming...I'm sorry Harry..." Draco had told him, looking faint, but Harry had understood. He had hugged Draco tightly and told him he was glad he was with us. He made him promise to survive this no matter what and left to find Ron and Hermione.
It took about 10 minutes to reunify the DA. He told them the few things he had the right to, mainly that they were coming. They told them to leave. Of course nobody left. They all stayed to fight and Harry left the room, proud of his team, his friends.
He went with Dumbledore that night, and got acquainted with the term "inferi". All went bad. The Horcrux was a false, only a note, R.A.B.
They went back to Hogwarts to find the skull illuminating the sky. They arrived on the tower, someone was coming, Harry got disilusioned.
Draco disarmed Dumbledore, and of course couldn't kill him but Snape could, and he did. Harry heart ripped in two as his mentor fell, as Snape and Draco looked ready to cry. Deatheaters ran after that, Harry ran after the two shadows but wasn't fast enough. The last thing he saw of them were both their distraught faces turned to him, as the disaparated in a black smoke, as Harry screamed at them.
"Survive you bastards, you fucking BETTER SURVIVE!"



It had been a long time ago already, since he last saw them. He was now "camping" with Hermione. Ron had just left, influenced by the dark necklace. He needed to cheer Mione so he danced with her and held her close when she felt like breaking.
They didn't find many clues. They found the tales of the three brothers at the Lovegoods, went into a trap at Godric's hollow and nearly got killed. Though he met his parents' graves, for the first time.
He was losing hope when he saw the doe, deep in the forest, near their tents. He knew it had been his mother's, he knew it was Snape's, so he followed it and found the sword.
...
...Alright...
...going IN the water with the necklace had NOT been very intelligent.
But Ron had come hadn't he?
They were back, the three of them, Hermione was smiling again but Harry's heart was more and more heavy.
In the end they got caught by snatchers and brought to Malfoy manor and how Harry had never been so glad to see his favorite blond idiot!
They stared at each other for a long time as Lucius was asking his son to formally identify Harry, hidden under Hermione's quick deforming spell. Harry had never felt so close to kiss Malfoy as he lied while his eyes told him what he wanted to know. Snape was still alive. Malfoy was still alive.
They succeeded to escape thanks to Dobby, who apparated them all. Harry had barely been able to get new wands from Draco and they had left, but Bellatrix's knife had been faster.
Harry burried Dobby himself, at the top of a windy sea shore, where he would be able to see sunsets and sunrises forever, free as he had always been.
Harry had felt like going back when he had realised he had stolen Draco's wand. He hoped he wouldn't be the death of him. But he had saved Luna, Griphook and Ollivanders, who told him Voldemort had learnt about the deathly Hallows.
That meant Snape's days were coming short. His heart had never been this heavy.
The quest went on, he met a dragon...again...but this time rode on it's back, another horcrux safely held.
In the end they only had one choice left: Hogwarts.
They went in the night, and found Dumbledore's brother, Aberforth, who helped them get in.
He did a stupid thing, confronting Snape, but he wanted to tell him he was alright, he wanted to see him.
"How dare you stand where he stood!" That might have hurt him...but he had to tell him, he had to know he was alive, so he wouldn't do stupid things.
He met again with Draco and two of his stupid croonies in the Room of requirements while looking for the diadem and had never been so afraid as to when the fiendfyre was cast and Draco found himself on this meagre bookpile, surrounded by fire.
Luckily he had been quick enough to snatch him and leave the room on a broom, Ron and Hermione showing the way.
The diadem had been distroyed by the cursed fire. A good thing.
Draco hugged him briefly, on the floor where they fell, glad to be alive and whispered to him to open his mind, that Voldemort had called for Snape but he didn't know where they were. He then left running.
Harry opened his mind. It took some time and it hurt to feel Voldemort again after so long but he found them, in the small boat house.
They hurry, the three of them and arrive when Nagini sheated her fangs in Snape's tender neck. It took both Hermione's and Ron's strength to hold Harry back. Now wasn't the time to face him.
Voldemort left, Nagini too and Harry hurried to his lover's side.
The light from the nearly black eyes was fading, little by little...
"look..at...me" were Snape's whispered words so Harry did, and plunged in Snape's ungarded mind. All was choppy, and weak, but he could see the bottle, the two bottles in the pocket. Two drops from the red one, then the entire blue bottle. He hurried to obey, forcing Snape to drink his own potions the same way he made Dumbeldore drink the liquid that drove him mad and after the second bottle, Snape heart stopped. His eyes still opened and unseeing, fixed on Harry and Harry screamed. He cast a stasis and a disillusionment charm on him and left.
If he had ever felt murderous, it was nothing compared to what he felt now.
He sent Hermione and Ron to fecth the fang in the chamber of secrets and, after briefly hugging them both, went to his death.
He had Draco's wand with him and his cloak, and a few hundred meters from Voldemort, he opened the snitch.
The stone that fell in his hand was small, but beautiful and as he turned it over, he got to face his parents for the first time since fourth year.
It was a beautiful moment, a peaceful one, knowing the one he loved where here for him. Snape wasn't, and he wondered about what it meant. Maybe he hadn't crossed yet?
That's the moment he chose to walk to Voldemort and thinking of his loved ones, he took the curse straight to his chest.


All passed slowly, but quickly at the same time. It was a weird feeling.
He saw Dumbledore at this place, very reminiscent of King's cross. He saw a piece of Voldemort's soul. Dumbledore asked him if he wanted to go back, and he didn't, really. All he had was lost. But he couldn't think like that, he needed to kill him if he could, he needed to save those who needed saving and so he went back.
The first thing he felt when he came back into his body was a cold and petite hand, on his head. Then he heard it...
"Is he alive? Draco...is he alive?" So that must have been Narcissa's hand? A nod of his head and she did something he never thought would have happened, she lied to Voldemort.
"Dead" she announced in a cold voice. Harry could hear Hagrid's scream and the deatheater's songs of joy. Laugh all you can, bastards, while you still can.
Hagrid carried him to the castle, and as much as Harry wanted to tell him to alleviate his grief, he knew it was too risky so he kept quiet, heart ripping again at the sound of his oldest friend's sorrow.
Voldemort made quite a smug speech, in Harry's opinion. But that's only when he asked to see Draco that he snapped and jumped from Hagrid's shoulders. He would not hurt Draco, no matter what.
To Malfoy's credit, his thinking was fairly quick. He looked at Neville holding the sword and yelled at him
"LONGBOTTOM, CATCH!" As he cast a spell and sent Nagini flying to where Neville was standing.
He had been scared he wouldn't be ready but Neville had been, and had chopped Nagini's head clean off, a shout of pure rage coming from him.
Voldemort fell to his knees, screaming in agony as the next to last part of his soul disapeared in a puff of smoke. Harry wasn't feeling anything, he wasn't a horcrux anymore afterall and for the first time, he understood where the belonging feeling had been coming from, why he had always felt he belonged to him, to Voldemort.
Their face to face would be remembered for a long time. As Voldemort's face as he realised Draco's and Snape's had never been his. At the thought of the one he loves, covered in blood, harry entered in a white rage and destroyed Voldemort, who believed to the end he possessed the elder wand. Too bad really.
Deatheaters left but a lot of them were arrested. The Malfoys stopped a lot of them from leaving too.
Harry felt weak, as a piece of soul that had inhabited him for so long had now disappeared but he needed to tell someone...
It was Draco who came to him when he fainted, and he had just the time to warn him
"boat...caban...disillusionment...Snape" Then all went black.





When he woke up, all was white. Which was a shock after all this black, really. He saw Ron and Hermione and tried to smile but Hermione left on a hurry. Ron took his hand and looked ready to cry in relief.
He only had the time to learn it had been two weeks since Voldemort was dead when the door banged open and Draco walked in. He was then deprived from air for about 30 seconds flat while Draco and Hermione proceeded to hug him into oblivion.
"Sorry Granger but I can't stand the pressure, Harry Snape is alive, he is in the great hall."
"Malfoy!" My ears only succeeded to catch Hermione's shocked scream as I was already up and running to said hall.
"HARRY COME BACK YOU'RE TOO WEAK! MALFOY HOW CAN YOU BE SO IRRESPONSIBLE YOU KNEW IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!"
DAMN RIGHT it was gonna happen! Like hell I was sleeping like a good student in the infirmary if Snape was really alive, in the great hall....it was hardly believable.....he had been so sure he was dead.....please be it true....
And as he arrived in the great hall, and realised every family and staff was gathered here, he faltered. It is only when his gaze fell on the man he loved so much, his back to him, talking to Macgonagall, that he made his mind, he didn't care about anything else...It crossed his mind Malfoy probably explained everything about Snape's condition as a spy since he was there, not being spat on and cursed.
"SNAPE YOU BASTARD YOU ARE ALIVE!" Alright, that wasn't the most romantic thing that could have come out of Harry's mouth but it wasn't important.
Snape had barely enough time to turn around, the entire falling silent as Harry ran and jumped him, tears falling at seing him at last. He didn't care he was weak, he didn't care when they fell backward and sprawled n the ground for all to see, he didn't care when gasps were heard but no heart could ever stay cold a this sight, two old ennemies, one crying and holding to the other for dear life, the second clearly embarassed but no less happy, both on the ground so no one said a word until Macgonagall applauded.
And it is in a room full of applause and whistles, that Snape's recovered enough and, after taking a minute to be decidedly, fully embarassed, decided to scold Harry into next year for being out of hospital and running in the castle like a loon.
In the end Snape carried Harry back to the hospital even after he pleaded not to go, making a scene that would make any 4 years old proud.
Draco looked relieved not to have Hermione pester him anymore when they arrived and harry got unceremoniously dumped on the bed. His pout got the better of Snape though, as he bent and kissed him.
Ron ewwed.
"Nonexistent Gryffindor manners" was all he huffed, going back to the great hall.
It is said the stinging hex that burned the ginger-headed backside came out of nowhere.


Later that night, Snape came, quiet as a shadow, and stole Harry.
They spent the night together, a night both of us would remember fondly for the rest of their lives as the night Harry finally could prove to Severus he found him beautiful. They didn't leave the room for two days.
Draco got hit when he mentionned it.





In the end, Harry grieved.
A stone was carved and erected at the entrance of Hogwarts, so they could remember the fallen, and the ones who had been brave enough to fight for freedom.
Severus Snape pleaded his case and got awarded Order of Merlin 1st class, for risking his life for so long.
Draco wasn't awarded anything, but was excused of any kind of retribution, which was all very well from his point of view.
Lucius Malfoy took 3 years of Azkaban and 2 of house arrest, while Narcissa was left off with a year of house arrest.
Dumbledore's painting was added in the headmaster's office, but a special one was commissionned from Harry and Snape: the painting can bee seen above the teacher's table, in the great hall. Dumbledore appears particularily joyful in it, as he guard the cell of Gellert Grindelwald, who does not look as happy.
It has been said if you went later in the night, and peered closely at the painting, you could see it empty, cell door opened. But it never got confirmed as both of them were always back in come morning. And student weren't really allowed to wander at night, were they?
Some say Harry and Severus married in secret, their first dance so sweet and gentle it made Hermione cry.
Some say they bought an old house and rescued a black, joyful dog named Pooch.
Some say Draco kept calling it Pottypots for so long it now only responds to that name...
And there are some that say they had wanted children, but after seeing the misery said children put the weasley couple through they decided that in the end, they were happy enough babysitting and rescuing dogs.
If someone ever saw a tattooed Grim, doe, wolf or deer on harry's wrist they never mentionned it.
It is said Snape still refers to himself as harry's charity case.
It is also said each time harry hears it, he thouroughly covers him in kisses.
It is definitely said severus does it on purpose, but potter being dumb as fuck doesn't realise it.

"DRACO!"

"What bucktooth don't tell me it's not true!"

"When harry will know what you have been writing he will kill you you know that?"

"Hey weasel...damn I do have two weasel in front of me now don't I?... I survived You-Know-Who, I will survive one scrawny pot pot potty, thank you very much! I'm only the best writer in this century, people need to know what is going on!"

" 'Gossip writer' Malfoy"

"Am not! There is nothing invented in all that, I only have been rewriting what's been written in his own diary."

"Honestly Malfoy...don't you have any shame?"

"I'm sorry to interrupt but...did he just say he found, read and rewrote my private diary? I may be mistaken, I might have misheard...and I honestly wish for his pale arse I have..."

"Oops...well...FAREWELL POTTER!"

It is said Malfoy disappeared with the drafts.

It is said the day after's Prophet's first page title was something along the line of 'Black and Golden: the love story that saved us all now in stores!'

It is said Harry and Snape found it.

It is said Malfoy disappeared, period.

"Or not, hahaha no one beats a Malfoy! ISN'T IT RIGHT POTTY?"

"HERE YOU ARE YOU LITTLE BLOND MOTHERFUCKER YOU ARE SO DEAD"

"It is said Severus Snape could not stand such immature behaviours and decided to end his miserable days using a very potent, self-brewed poison"

"That's not poison, that's whiskey."

"Details, Miss Granger, details."


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