tag:dreamwidth.org,2013-03-03:1978740snarryglompfestsnarryglompfestsnarryglompfest2015-08-10T00:10:49Ztag:dreamwidth.org,2013-03-03:1978740:2977Glomp for carowren2015-08-08T06:32:53Z2015-08-10T00:10:02Zpublic0<b>Title:</b> The Path That Magic Takes<br /><b>Author:</b> Anonymous<br /><b>Prompt Number:</b> #3: Snarky Severus, unusual careers, working together, reluctant friends to lovers (or maybe friends with benefits to lovers), a persistent, annoying Harry whom Severus comes to value, plenty of UST, pining, bumping into each other in an odd location, regular pub/drinking sessions, argumentative dialogue, spanking. Basically anything as long as Snape still has a backbone/exoskeleton and an intense, moody presence. Pick and choose whatever works for your story.<br /><b>Rating:</b> PG for some snogging<br /><b>Word Count:</b> ~13,600<br /><b>Warnings:</b> None<br /><b>Summary:</b> There's a danger to working inside the path that magic takes. Inhibitions disappear and the truth has a way of revealing itself.<br /><b>Author's Note:</b> Profound thanks to the mods for giving me 394 extensions and to Jess for giving it a once-over. I went with 'basically anything' so I do hope that Snape has enough of an exo-skeleton to suit. All remaining mistakes are mine.<br /><br /><br /><br /><b><i>Friday</i></b><br /><br />"Next."<br /><br />The young witch who approached the window couldn't have been more than a month out of Hogwarts. Biting her lower lip, she nervously slid her Floo application across the counter and gazed at Snape with fretful brown eyes. "We've just moved into the flat, you see, and two of us—"<br /><br />"I needn't hear the tale, Ms…" Severus Snape glanced at the top of the form for the witch's name. "Ms Beloussov. I merely need to ensure you've completed the form correctly." His coal black eyes ran over the application with practiced efficiency and then he sighed. It was too much to hope that they'd get it right on the first attempt.<br /><br />A long finger tapped a blank field on the form. "Nearest public Floo, Ms Beloussov. The installer needs to know where your flat is, so you can be connected to the proper network."<br /><br />Marta took a step back, flustered. "But I've no idea where the nearest public Floo is."<br /><br />"That, Ms Beloussov, is why there is a map." Snape pointed at a wall to her left that was covered both with a map of Great Britain and a map of Greater London. "Find your flat and find the nearest Floo. They're well marked. Or, if you've managed an OWL in Charms, follow the steps listed under the map to have the correct Floo light up. Next."<br /><br />"But—"<br /><br />"Next!" Snape glared at her and she scurried towards the map, application in hand. She glanced back over her shoulder, her eyes wide with alarm, and joined her flatmates in a huddle, whispering heatedly.<br /><br />Severus Snape enjoyed his job as head of the customer service division for the Floo Network Authority. Most his days were spent scheduling Floo connection installations and managing a bustling team of repair technicians, but every once in awhile, he'd join his subordinates working one of the service windows at the Ministry offices. In his three years supervising the FNA, he'd long since discovered that spending a day or so a month on the front lines ensured that no incomplete applications were accepted by any member of the staff and that the lengthy set of rules were followed to the letter.<br /><br />It had been a strange journey from Hogwarts to working for the Ministry in a mid-level managerial position. After the war had ended, he had been exonerated by the Wizengamot and somehow managed to escape a lengthy stay in Azkaban. To Snape's astonishment, he was awarded the Order of Merlin, First Class, for his efforts and with that citation came a generous stipend that enabled him to spend a year travelling the world.<br /><br />But Britain was, and always would be, home, so, wanderlust satisfied, Snape returned to England and found a lovely little flat not far from the West End where he thought long and hard about what to do with his life. Brewing did not appeal. It was a delightful way to spend an afternoon, but he had no desire to spend the next hundred years of his life bent over a steaming cauldron, chopping and weighing ingredients and stirring whilst the magic happened.<br /><br />After eliminating all careers related to the art of potions, which included Herbology, Horticulture, Animal Husbandry, the Healing Arts, and anything having to do with Apothecaries, he considered more solitary pursuits. He gave some thought to replacing Madam Pince as Hogwarts' librarian, but it was hard enough getting the little urchins to study as it was. He would only serve as a deterrent.<br /><br />Stymied, he considered some of the more arcane positions at the Ministry and lasted two weeks in the Wizengamot Administrative Services division. Filing and archiving rolls of parchments was a sad and lonely affair. To his surprise, he wanted to be near people. Percy Weasley, the head of Magical Transportation, granted him an interview. Percy knew Snape to be a stickler for rules and regulations, hired him immediately, and a three month probationary period became a career as a bureaucrat.<br /><br />Once David Blackshear finally arrived for his shift, Severus strode into his office—he would say he walked, but everyone who knew him would say he did nothing without purpose—and sat himself behind his wide, sturdy desk. Today's schedule was fairly light as such things were measured: four new connections, seven repair orders, some deferred maintenance near the Muggle District and Circle lines, and one disconnect.<br /> <br />Automatically, his eyes ran down the page in search of one name. Harry Potter had two repair orders that would keep him busy throughout the day, both of which were from habitual repeaters. The first, Tabitha Clearwater, was convinced a ghoul was residing in her upstairs Floo. The second, Edmund Goodpasture, was experiencing interference whilst on fire calls. Harry—<i>Potter</i>, dammit—had been to the residence four times now, but couldn't replicate the problem.<br /> <br />Potter had begun working as a Floo technician four or so months after Snape had started at the Ministry. No one knew why he'd left the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and Potter certainly wasn't willing to divulge that information, walking away whenever anyone brought the subject up. Mostly, Potter kept to himself and learned his job and before long, the rest of the FNA staff learned to leave him alone.<br /><br />In a manner of speaking, Snape picked up with Harry Potter right where he'd left off: watching him intently and shielding him from harm. Potter had stepped effortlessly back into his role as well, ignorant of Snape's efforts to protect him. Fortunately, Potter hadn't noticed that Snape's interest was more than collegial. Harry Potter had become a gorgeous young man and Snape was utterly smitten. <br /><br />Setting aside the duty rota, Severus turned his attention to the agenda for the upcoming meeting with the Department for the Regulation of Magical Games and Sport. The Appleby Arrows was hosting a friendly and wanted international Floo connections for their stadium for the weekend of the 17<super>th</super>. Given that they submitted their request only last week and it would take every Floo technician on the payroll, Severus was demanding that Magical Sport fund the overtime he would have to pay. They were, of course, claiming poverty.<br /> <br />A soft chime sounded and Severus looked up from the attached budget figures to <i>stare</i> fixedly at a single point on the corner of his desk, not so much as blinking. <br />After a few minutes, Severus' eyes watered as he forced himself to keep them open. Aiming his wand at his face, he cast a cloud of mist at his eyes and continued to stare. The door to his office opened and his administrative assistant, Viola, entered followed by an entire air wing of memos.<br /> <br />Though Severus was the head of the department, it was Viola who kept it running. Born in Bangalore, she'd moved as a child along with her extended family to Britain during Grindelwald's rise to power. Her eyes were every bit as dark as Snape's and equally as piercing. She was middle aged, shaped like a tree trunk, and had three hairs on her chin. Snape had learnt quickly that Viola could not be bullied; she'd learnt just as swiftly that he could not be intimidated. Their yelling matches were legendary and whenever their voices rose, Galleons changed hands as spectators wagered on the outcome.<br /><br />"It's no use," she scolded. "You can wait all day, but the biscuits will not appear as long as you're watching."<br /> <br />Severus blinked rapidly. In that fraction of a second, a plate of cranberry-orange shortbread appeared, artfully arranged on a doily-clad china saucer. There was a sprig of flowers set daintily on the rim; Severus thought it was a bellflower. "Who is responsible for this?"<br /> <br />Viola rolled her dark brown eyes. "It is quite obviously a mystery. Here are the connection requests for next week. These are the repairs orders and this is the maintenance schedule. I must have these by three o'clock filed in—"<br /> <br />"In triplicate. Yes, I know. You've told me every Friday for the past seventy-two weeks." He snatched a biscuit off the plate and bit savagely into it. The bloody things were still warm. "Have I ever not filed my paperwork in triplicate?"<br /> <br />Viola wagged a stubby finger. "Don't you get shirty with me. I have managed this department since you were in nappies and will still be here when your grandchildren's grandchildren require changing." She arched a brow so perfectly shaped it was nearly a work of art. "Requisitions. Three o'clock," she reminded.<br /> <br />"Oh, sod off," Severus grumbled under his breath. Viola laughed as she left his office, her flame coloured sari fluttering in her wake. He adored her. Worse, she knew it. He picked up another biscuit and contemplated it.<br /> <br />They had started arriving precisely at ten a.m. about eight months ago and no one admitted to knowing where they came from or how they arrived. Severus had used every detection spell he knew, to no avail. He had even considered consulting with the Department of Mysteries, but his pride refused to permit him to make a fool of himself over a daily plate of shortbread.<br /> <br />After working for another twenty-five minutes, Severus gathered his papers, rose from his chair, and headed to his meeting with the loathsome people in the Department of Magical Sport. "If I'm not back by noon," he said as he passed Viola's desk, "invent an emergency and send one of those infernal aeroplanes to fetch me."<br /> <br />"It will be a Messerschmitt," said Viola gravely.<br /> <br />"With a little iron cross on the side?"<br /> <br />"Naturally." She regarded him steadily. Snape couldn't tell whether or not she was serious. Shaking his head, he strode through the office to the corridor that led to the Ministry lifts, girding himself for the battle he knew would follow.<br /> <br /><center>~*~</center><br /> <br />Shortly after noon, Severus returned to his office on the sixth floor of the Ministry building and relieved Francisco at the customer service desk. As he settled into the high-backed stool, he couldn't help but notice that a number of queued customers suddenly decided to surrender their place in line in favour of having lunch. He sighed. He wasn't a demon—or even a Death Eater—but most of the public gave him wide berth regardless. He just wasn't social. That was all.<br /> <br />"Next," he called out and waited for the next wizard in line to approach his window.<br /> <br />"I am applying for an additional Floo," the man stammered under Severus' piercing gaze. He pushed through a small stack of parchment a small stack of Galleons to cover the fee.<br /> <br />Severus skimmed through the application. "It says here that you have two connections already. For what possible reason would you require more?"<br /> <br />The man, Royce MacEchearn, gazed wearily up at Severus. "I have five children and three grandchildren living under my roof, and now my wife has invited my mother to move in. One son-in-law works in Ipswich, two daughters work in Diagon Alley, my son is the equipment manager for the national Gobstones team and my oldest grandson just turned ten." He gestured to the application. "This one would be mostly for my mother. Please, sir. We spend three sickles a week on Floo powder as it is."<br /> <br />The chaos in the MacEchearn household must be unbearable, thought Severus. "Your application appears to be in order." The man had even listed the nearest public Floo in accordance with the rules. "Approved."<br /> <br />One desk over, Ebony Sweetwater knocked over her inkstand in surprise whilst Severus affixed the requisite seals, signed on the seven lines requiring Ministry acquiescence, wrote out a receipt for the required fee, and duplicated the application for Mr MacEchearn's records. It wasn't as if he'd never accepted an initial application before. "You will receive an owl on Monday with the day and time our technician will arrive to perform the necessary spells."<br /> <br />As the uncoordinated Ms Sweetwood cleaned up her mess, Severus summoned the next person in line. That transaction took less than two minutes of his time; the foolish wizard had barely completed the first page of the form and had managed to make four mistakes already.<br /> <br />"The instructions are printed clearly on the information placard," he growled in his best long-suffering voice and pointed at the large white board covered in teeny tiny letters to the customer's left. Severus sent away the next person in line as well, but only because they wanted an Apparition license and his department couldn't help with that.<br /> <br /><center>~*~</center><br /> <br />At long last, it was time for lunch. Severus found his meal tucked away in the back of the cold box and fussed with it until everything was to his liking. Steam wafted off the small kettle of soup, butter melted into warm bread. Squares of sharp cheddar towered over the starburst of apple wedges surrounding it. He prided himself on being a simple man with simple tastes; his colleagues thought him fussy.<br /><br />As he levitated his lunch over to a vacant table, he had the unmistakable sensation of being watched. He allowed his gaze to wander over the lunchroom, already half-empty and clearing quickly. A pair of green eyes dropped swiftly to the magazine in front their owner and Severus found himself heading to a nearby vacant table. He arranged his food to his liking and Summoned the current edition of <i>International Portkeys and Floo Quarterly</i> from his office.<br /><br />"Did you see to the Clearwater request?" inquired Severus as he took his first mouthful of soup. He scanned the table of contents and shook his head. When were the Slovakians going to come to the realisation that the Austrian Ministry were about as likely to construct a new Floo passage along the Danube as they were to build an aquaduct to import Swiss chocolate?<br /><br />Harry Potter shook his head. "No, I took care of the Goodpasture ticket first." Harry closed his magazine and toyed with the salad in front of him. "I know there's a problem with his Floo, but bugger all if I can find it."<br /><br />Severus sunk his crooked teeth into a cube of cheese and followed it with a bite of apple. "What have you tried?" he asked, still not making eye contact. It was too disconcerting. Somehow, when he wasn't looking, Harry had matured into his idea of the perfect partner. That Severus even had a type came as quite the surprise, but when it turned out to be that impudent whelp, it had shaken him to the core. And then Harry transferred to the Floo Network Authority for reasons unknown and Severus' restful nights became a thing of the past.<br /><br />"I checked for build-up of soot, ash, and Floo powder residue. I checked for webs, nests, hives and whatever else birds and bugs build in chimneys. I checked the firebox. I checked the connexion for spells and curses. I've even checked for Dark magic."<br /><br />"Hmm." Harry had been as thorough, as usual. "Have you checked the connexion from other Floos?"<br /><br />"That was the first thing I did. Mr Goodpasture hasn't had any problem with the Floo itself, not that anyone visits much. Just his sister from time to time. None of his nieces or nephews have dropped by since Dylan died."<br /><br />Severus arched an eyebrow and shifted in his seat to look over at Harry. "Who is Dylan and what has he to do with the Goodpasture Floo?"<br /><br />"I don't know," replied Harry with a shrug. "His son, maybe? There are photos of them all over the flat." He expression turned wistful. "Mr Goodpasture was so proud of him. I guess Dylan was the manager of the Catapults' Quidditch stadium, ran the whole bloody place. Mr Goodpasture said it was it was some sort of insect bite and Dylan was allergic. He just…" Harry turned his attention back to his half-eaten lunch and pushed around a piece of lettuce. Severus would have given as much as three Knuts to know what was going through Harry's mind.<br /><br />"You've still not explained what this Dylan person has to do with the Goodpasture Floo," Severus pointed out.<br /><br />"I guess Dylan's cousins don't come to visit anymore, so it's harder to tell where the problem with the Floo might be." Harry looked up and his green eyes seemed brighter than usual. "He's lonely, Sever—Snape. Mr Snape."<br /><br />Would Gryffindors ever learn to stop wearing their hearts on their sleeves? Severus thought the odds highly against it. Harry's sentiment for Goodpasture's plight was pure twaddle. "Have you scheduled a follow-up visit?"<br /><br />"Yeah…I mean, yes, sir." Harry Vanished the remains of his lunch and rose. "It's for day after tomorrow. I'm going to dig through the archives and see if I can find something, and then I'll get the Clearwaters sorted. That won't take but a few minutes."<br /><br />"Oh?"<br /><br />"They don't have a ghoul," said Harry with a snort. "They keep using homemade Floo powder and blowing the connexion all to hell."<br /><br />"In that case," said Severus as his gaze travelled slowly over Harry's body. "Inform Mrs Clearwater that, should we have to make another service call because she's used her bloody powder again, her Floo will be disconnected for a period of not less than thirty days and she will be assessed a penalty of thirty-five Galleons when she submits a new application for a single-source Floo."<br /><br />"Yes, sir." Harry Banished his lunch things and started towards the door, but Severus interrupted him before he'd managed to get very far.<br /><br />"A word, Mr Potter, if I may."<br /><br />Harry turned swiftly, his eyes wide, and Severus couldn't quite tell if they held a note of hope or fear. As Harry returned to the table, Severus' pulse quickened and a flock of butterflies took up residence in his stomach. With his luck, they were more likely to be Death's Head moths, but he wasn't going to whisper one out to learn what it was. For reasons surpassing understanding, he had trouble meeting Harry's gaze. "I somehow managed to acquire two tickets to tonight's performance of 'The Lion King'." Hiding behind a lethal glare, Severus continued. "Would you be willing to accompany me to see it?"<br /><br />In the space of fifteen seconds, Harry must have blinked a hundred times. His cheeks suddenly blossomed with colour before the pinkness faded to the colour of old milk. Even his lips were white. "I-I would love to, sir, but I have Teddy and Victoire tonight. My godson and my…" His brow furrowed. "Bill Weasley's daughter." Harry managed a curious twisting smile. "Next time, though, 'cause I really do wish I could see it, but I have Teddy so there's that." He scurried away, flashing Severus a smile so bright it hurt.<br /><br />"Next time," muttered Severus. Tickets for 'The Lion King' didn't just fall from the sky. It had taken ages to find someone who truly needed an emergency repair to their Floo and was willing to provide a token of thanks in repayment. Naturally, solicitation of such bounty was strictly forbidden by Ministry policy, but when a grateful customer said, "I wish I had some way to repay you," was it so terribly wrong to impart a suggestion? Ah well, a trip to the box office on the way home and a small bit of magic ought to ensure decent seats for another night.<br /><br /><center>~*~</center><br /><br /><b><i>Thursday</i></b><br /><br />Severus tossed a handful of Floo powder into the flames. "CF8 Goodpasture," he called out in his distinctive voice and stepped into the swirling emerald flames. As he spun through the magical conduit, he made note of the speed at which other fireplaces swept by, of how smoothly (or not) the eddies of magic carried him to his destination, and as he came to the end of the journey he paid close attention to an increase in turbulence just before he arrived.<br /><br />Both Potter and Mr Goodpasture were waiting for him as Snape stepped through. He gave Harry a curt nod before extending his hand to Goodpasture. "I am Severus Snape, the head of the Customer Service Division of the Floo Network Authority. How might I be of assistance?" His manner was a bit more cordial than his typical demeanour; he was in the man's home after all.<br /><br />Goodpasture bowed his head in acknowledgement. The wizard was much older than Snape anticipated. From Harry's remarks about nieces, nephews and a daughter who seldom visited, he had envisioned someone in his mid-fifties or so. This man was within a year or two of Minerva's age at best. "Young Harry here said you would be stopping by. Care for a cuppa, then? It's no bother." His eyes, the colour indistinguishable, were warm when they settled on Harry.<br /><br />"If you would be so kind," murmured Snape and watched as Mr Goodpasture tottered in the direction of the kitchen. Snape took a moment to look around. The room was small, though comfortable. A chesterfield sofa with worn, shiny patches sat along one wall. Across from it were two tattered tuck and roll wingback chairs with a small table between them. On the mantel were dozens of photographs; one in particular seemed to hold Harry's attention. He stepped behind the young man and peered over his shoulder. "Ahh."<br /><br />"Gwenog Jones," said Harry. "That's Dylan there on the left." Dylan waved cheerfully and Harry smiled at him. "And Edmund on the other side. She's Ginny's favourite player, you know."<br /><br />Snape stepped closer and studied the photograph. Dylan appeared to be at threshold of middle age or happily ensconced in it. Certainly, he couldn't have been much more than sixty. But his face was boyish and his dark grey eyes danced with delight. In truth, he appeared to be a man who wanted for nothing and had everything his heart desired, and every time Dylan's eyes rested on Edmund, he glowed with happiness.<br /><br />Taking a moment to glance at the other pictures, Snape quickly came to the conclusion that Harry was every bit the idiot he always suspected him to be. Dylan and Edmund Goodpasture weren't father and son.<br /><br />They had been lovers.<br /><br />Hard on the heels of that realisation came an emotional punch to the gut. Harry thought the pair were father and son. The thought that they could be anything else had never even entered his mind, which meant there was no chance at all that Harry—that Potter would ever be interested in someone his age. Snape staggered back a step just as Goodpasture returned with tea.<br /><br />Snape settled in the armchair nearest the fireplace and clutched his cup, watching as Harry seated himself at the other end of the sofa. His heart was beating through force of habit and white noise filled his ears. Distantly, he was aware that Goodpasture had asked him a question, but Snape shook his head dumbly, as though unable to comprehend the nature of the inquiry.<br /><br />Gazing into the flames, he let Harry do his best to respond while he tried to work out when, precisely, his attraction to Harry had taken root. Certainly not whilst Harry was a student at Hogwarts. The mere idea left him cold. No, it had definitely happened after he'd returned to Britain, when Harry had shown up at work one day, announced he had transferred to the Floo Network Authority and did Snape have any training manuals on Floo repair he could read?<br /><br />Snape had replied as he always had done—with an insult. "As I was unaware you could read at all, wouldn't you prefer a book with pictures?" Harry had gazed up at him uncertainly, those glorious green eyes as guarded as Snape had ever seen them. It was then that Snape noted his pallor, the smudges of hazy purple under Harry's eyes, the way Harry's wand hand twitched, and something had…softened.<br /><br />"Come with me," he had said and led Harry into a small office that had more scrolls of parchment and folios crammed with animated drawings than could be read in a year. Even by Hermione Granger. Thus began a truce of sorts, though they hadn't quite given each other permission to use given names. He sipped his tea and ruminated about the relationship he wished he had instead of what he'd allowed to develop.<br /><br />"Sir?" It was Harry's voice, tentative, perhaps a bit worried. "Severus?"<br /><br />Snape's dark eyes settled on Harry, the firelight painting his cheek golden, emphasising the line of jaw, the fine arch of his neck. A pang of longing struck so hard and deep that for a moment, Snape couldn't breathe. He nodded and waited for the lump in his throat to vanish. "My apologies. What do you want, Potter?"<br /><br />Harry managed to appear wounded and turned his head to look into the flames whilst Goodpasture repeated the question. "Young Harry wondered if you'd noticed the journey got a wee bit rocky there at the end. I admitted to him I once thought the same, but decided it must be age. I'll be eighty-two come October."<br /><br />It took Snape a moment to tear his eyes away from Harry. He blinked once as his gaze settled on Goodpasture and he nodded slowly. "Yes, it is something that must be explored. I have a few theories, but I won't know until we start examining the network itself."<br /><br />Harry leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees, his wand dangling from his fingertips. He shuddered lightly. "I hate working in the tunnels," he murmured quietly, his eyes focussed on the floor in front of him.<br /><br />"Then you certainly chose the wrong profession," snapped Snape, and regretted his words the instant they left his mouth. An uncomfortable silence filled the room as Goodpasture's eyes flickered back and forth between them. "I apologise, Potter," he said stiffly. "I do not relish working inside the network either."<br /><br />It was an experience difficult to describe. To Snape, working inside a Floo connexion was akin to changing his clothing mid-Apparition, or attempting to measure out a gram of lionfish spines whilst using a Portkey. To work inside the network was to work inside magic itself, to feel the whorls and eddies against his skin, to be stripped bare and laid open, to be simultaneously on top of the world and at the bottom of the deepest abyss. He was both wildly exultant and deeply depressed once he returned to the 'real' world. He suspected the same would be true for Harry.<br /><br /> Sitting up straight, Harry met Snape's eyes. Snape arched a brow and Harry's forehead furrowed as they came to a mutual understanding. There was trepidation, but a touch of exhilaration as well. Not everyone fared well inside the network, but they both had enough experience with it to know they'd be all right in the end. "How much time, do you reckon?" asked Harry.<br /><br />Snape stroked his chin as he considered. The turbulence had begun roughly five seconds before they reached their destination, giving them nearly a kilometre of network to examine. Potter was a strong enough wizard that he didn't require a minder, which left the two of them able to work by themselves. They'd be able to cover more territory alone than together, thus reducing the time they'd need to spend inside. "Forty-five minutes for diagnosis," he decided.<br /><br />Harry nodded. Opening a small satchel, he pulled out two bundles of heavy black leather and handed one to Snape before unrolling the second. Gleaming instruments sat in their proper sleeves. A row of pouches bulged with potions and powders. With nimble fingers, he extracted a crumpled ball of shimmering grey cloth out of one of the pouches. After tapping the wad of fabric with his wand, Harry fluffed out what appeared to be a gauzy shadow of himself and started to put it on.<br /><br />Across from Harry, Snape was engaging in the same ritual whilst Goodpasture watched with fascination. With a grimace, Snape stepped into the containment suit that covered him from head to toe and murmured the enchantment that sealed him in. Whilst Harry was strapping the tool belt around his slender waist, Snape was fishing through the pockets in search of the set of sheer gloves and mask that would complete the uniform.<br /><br />Harry reached into another pocket and pulled out a small, leathery pouch that was so black that it seemed to draw the light out of the room. Once Snape was fully covered, he handed it over gingerly, as if afraid to disturb the contents and finished getting suited up.<br /><br />Extracting a tiny, collapsible set of scales from one of the many pockets, Snape proceeded to weigh out a precise measure of a glittering powder the colour of sand down to the very grain whilst Harry finished suiting up. Using a fine brush, he transferred it to a thin sheet of parchment, which Harry folded carefully into an envelope. "Ready?" he asked once the tools were put away.<br /><br />"Is there anything I should do?" asked Goodpasture anxiously. "Or refrain from doing? Should I contact your office if you should…" His voice trailed off. "I suppose there's a protocol for this sort of thing?" He wrung his aged hands and peered nervously at the fireplace.<br /><br />From behind the fine black mask that clung like a second skin, Harry smiled. The goggles he wore instead of his spectacles gave him a vaguely insect-like appearance. "We'll be fine, Mr Goodpasture. I promise we'll be back before we've run out of time. I'll let you know what we discover when I see you next."<br /><br />Snape stood at the fireplace and waited for Harry to join him. Once they were standing side by side, Harry tossed the envelope into the fire whilst Snape chanted a lengthy incantation. The flames seemed to vanish, though traces of blue-black tongues could be seen writhing and flickering and tasting the air. Snape and Harry stepped inside and were whooshed away, leaving only malevolent blue sparkles behind.<br /><br /><center>~*~</center><br /><br />The current of magic buffeted Harry as he stepped into the network. Wisps of colour in every hue wove and warped around him like streamers in a strong breeze and his grip tightened instinctively on the handle of his wand. Wide as it was, being inside the network always made him feel claustrophobic, though he seldom felt that way when travelling through it.<br /><br />Beside him, Snape began to prepare to take measurements of the flow of magic through the network. He extracted from his tool belt a meridian circle, which resembled something like a calibrated mill wheel, though much smaller in scale. Still, it was taller than Harry, though it weighed a tenth what he did. Inside the wheel were a series of oblong gears, one of which was bright blue. From his own belt, Harry extracted a wide stand and set it up before helping Snape place the wheel upon it.<br /><br />It took them a moment to ensure the wheel was balanced properly, but once they were both satisfied, they took up positions on either side. "On three," said Snape, his dark eyes fixed on a long slender rod that kept the wheel motionless. Harry counted and Snape pulled the pin. On one side of the wheel, Harry kept track of the number of times the blue gear travelled the inner circumference of the wheel, whilst on the other, Snape kept track of the number of times the entire wheel revolved.<br /><br />"Seventeen and twenty-three minutes," called Harry when Snape reached ten. They stopped the wheel and Snape re-inserted the pin so they could move the entire contraption to a new spot.<br /><br />As Harry wrote down the figures on a chart, the back of his neck began to tingle and echoes of memory floated up from his subconscious. Something like spell fire swept past his ear and he jerked back. A Death Eater's mask formed and dissolved before his eyes and he nearly fired off a counter curse before remembering where he was and that none of this was real. He hated being inside the tunnel.<br /><br />"Where are you right now?" demanded Snape and Harry answered dutifully.<br /><br />"Inside the Floo Network at the Goodpasture residence." Returning to the wheel, he helped Snape carry it down the tunnel and positioned it closer to the far wall.<br /><br />"Harry!" It was Hermione's voice, filled with terror. Shelves filled with glowing spheres began to topple and Harry sprinted towards the sound, covering his head with his arm to keep from being pelted by falling prophecies. Remembering again where he was, he stopped suddenly and turned, only to see Snape lunging at him, eyes wide and wand out. Before he could so much as move an inch, he was tackled to the ground whilst above his head, Snape carried out a fierce battle with—absolutely nothing.<br /><br />"Severus!" shouted Harry. "Severus! Where are you right now?" He reached up and turned the man's head towards him, staring into that strange mask as he tried to pull Snape out of whichever memory had him in its grip. A wisp of bright purple dragged across Snape's mask for a moment before floating lazily on.<br /><br />"Lupin…Wolfsbane," gasped Snape.<br /><br />Harry shook Snape's shoulders hard, but it didn't seem to help. "Severus, you're in the network. This isn't real. We have work to do." A flash of brilliant white light just over Snape's shoulder caught Harry's attention and he stared as his stag Patronus charged past them. He began to shiver as some formless black shape began circling overhead, standing out from the miasma of swirling colour like a hole in magic. A mewling sound escaped his lips.<br /><br />"This isn't real. This isn't real," chanted Harry, though the warm body covering his most certainly was. It was warm, heavy, shaped just right, and Harry spread his legs to increase the contact between them. He canted his hips ever so slightly. Ahh, yes, right there. Whilst Snape continued to fling curses at his imaginary foe, Harry was caught in a different vision, one he had enjoyed on countless nights. His hands framed Snape's face and he lifted his head to capture Snape's lips in a heated kiss.<br /><br />For a moment, everything was perfect until, without a word of warning, Snape scrambled to his feet and backed away with an expression of abject horror on his face. It took Harry a moment, but he rolled to his stomach and slunk on hands and knees to the far side of the wheel. What on earth had he done? First, Snape had stopped talking to him, then he threw himself at the man. It would be a miracle if he wasn't fired the moment they returned to the Ministry.<br /><br />Mortified by his behaviour, Harry climbed to his feet and took his position at the wheel, hoping against hope that Snape would forget all about this. "I'm inside the Floo Network at the Goodpasture residence," he said dully. "Where are you right now?"<br /><br />There was a long silence from the other side of the wheel. "I am inside the Floo Network at the Goodpasture residence," came Snape's voice. It sounded funny to Harry's ears, almost hollow, and his insides twisted with dread.<br /><br />"What's our mission?" asked Harry when Snape failed to give the instructions to get ready. His stomach churned and the knowledge that Snape had an inkling of Harry's desire weighed on him like a lead cloak.<br /><br />"On three, Potter," barked Snape, apparently ignoring Harry's request. According to the manual, Harry was supposed to ask the question again or abort the session, but Harry had a history with Snape and decided that, in this case, following the rules would not be in their best interest. He found the red gear and noted its position.<br /><br />"One. Two. Three." Snape pulled the pin and the wheel began to turn, gathering strands of vibrant green, orange and yellow in its spokes.<br /><br />Over the course of taking readings, they both experienced several hallucinations. Whilst Snape was growling his defiance, or shouting his criticism about potions ingredients, Harry was enduring a harrowing flight from the acromantulas that lived in the Forbidden Forest and trying to defeat Inferi with a teaspoon of happiness. <br /><br />Whilst Snape made calculations based on their measurements, Harry stowed their equipment, brushing a cloud of bright crimson aside. Once that was completed, Snape issued their next instructions. "Head south down the network for ten minutes. You are searching for patches of bright pink," he handed Harry a card printed in the proper colour, "lining the walls. Let me know if you locate any."<br /><br />"What is this stuff, sir?" asked Harry as he took the card. It was a sickly shade of pink, too bright by half, and Harry shook his head as he committed the colour to memory.<br /><br />Snape didn't meet his eyes. "It's a magical fungus called Sniggowary. It disrupts the flow of magic in the Floo System and causes it to malfunction."<br /><br />Harry didn't quite know what to make of that. He'd been a Floo repair technician for nearly three years and had never heard of such a thing, but Snape had made a study of the Floo Network's system of magic, delving into its construction as though he were preparing to sit a NEWT on the subject. It wouldn't surprise Harry to learn that Snape knew more about the Floo Network than any person alive.<br /><br />He glanced down the tunnel and back and Snape. "So, I'm to look for pink?"<br /><br />"Think of lichen such as you'd see in the Forbidden Forest," said Snape as he ventured up the tunnel away from Harry. "Ten minutes. Not one minute more." The words floated down, almost visible, as though magic itself were spelling out his instructions.<br /><br />Harry jogged for two minutes down the tunnel at a quick clip, estimating that should put him at or near the place where he'd first sensed the disturbance. Pulling a Muggle torch from his tool belt (magic was nearly useless here), he started walking back, fighting off images from his past he'd rather not confront again.<br /><br />As he moved through the network, feeling the press of magic against his body, Harry suddenly felt as though he was moving through Nagini's innards. Tendrils of dark red patterned like snake skin wrapped around his arms and neck and Harry felt like he was choking. He flailed wildly, trying to escape and ran full-tilt into a patch of Sniggowary the size of a Quaffle. Reeling, Harry tripped over his own foot and fell back—hard.<br /><br />The magic engulfing him changed, became soft, seductive. Harry felt the press of a hard body against his own, a hard prick burning like a brand against his inner thigh and he wriggled closer. For a brief moment, he was sorely tempted to surrender to the delicious sensations coursing through him, but the voice of reason hadn't been silenced quite yet. <i>No time, Harry. There's no time.</i><br /><br />His eyes snapped open and it took him a moment to orient himself in the shifting kaleidoscope of colours wafting around him. Grinding the heel of his hand into his aching cock, he shuddered as he fought to regain some semblance of control before pushing himself to his feet and resuming his search for mutant lichen.<br /><br />A few minutes later, Harry entered a section of tunnel that made him think a bottle of that stomach stuff Aunt Petunia kept in the upstairs bathroom had exploded. Patches of the stuff were growing everywhere. Pulling an empty phial from his tool belt, he scraped off a sample for Snape and made note of his position, wondering how they were going to rid the tunnel of all this stuff.<br /><br />As he packed the sample away, Harry realised he was running out of time. He walked as swiftly as possible, pleased to note that the pink crusts had all but vanished. Just as the timer began to buzz, he saw a formless shadow drifting towards him and paused, not knowing if it was Snape or something his memory was providing. The walls of the network morphed into towering yew hedges and the wisping colours faded to grey. A Blast-Ended Skrewt scurried past and Harry flung himself out of the way.<br /><br />"Potter, where are you?"<br /><br />Harry gazed around wildly. Was he in the maze? Was he at Hogwarts? Where was he? "I-I'm here," he called out before pressing back further into the hedges. Was it Krum? It didn't sound like him.<br /><br />Strong hands clutched his upper arms and shook him lightly. Harry blinked at the strange shadowy version of Snape before awareness clicked in. " I'm inside the Floo Network at the Goodpasture residence," he managed.<br /><br />Snape said nothing. He merely shook his head. "Idiot boy." To Harry's ears, it sounded <i>almost</i> like an endearment. "I didn't ask where you are right now. I was merely attempting to locate you. The powder is about to wear off. Are you prepared?"<br /><br />Harry was more than ready to escape this hellish place and nodded. He stood with his back to the stream of magic, bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet as he waited to be swept off them and deposited however awkwardly into Mr Goodpasture's front room. <br /><br /><center>~*~</center><br /><br />When they tumbled out of the fireplace, Mr Goodpasture had food waiting for them. It was simple fare: egg and watercress sandwiches, crisps, bottles of butterbeer and a steaming pot of tea. After removing his containment suit, Snape fell on the food like a man possessed, leaving Harry to express their thanks for Goodpasture's foresight.<br /><br />The moment Potter and Goodpasture began chatting about Quidditch Snape turned his attention to other matters. They would have to go back into the network, of course. The Snigglewary would have to be neutralised before it could be removed. Fortunately, Snape had anticipated this and brought with him the few things he would need in order to cobble together an effective scourgicide.<br /><br />He did not relish spending another hour inside the tunnel, especially after Potter's peculiar behaviour. Potter had kissed him, and Snape's fingers traced lightly over his lips as he ruminated on it. Experience was a stern master; Snape had learnt well never to get his hopes up, especially where Potter was involved. He was certain he'd kept his longings safely under wraps. It would not do for that whelp to get wind of them.<br /><br /> But Harry had kissed him, and writhed against him when they were in the tunnel. What did it mean? Did it mean anything at all? Snape didn't know, and not knowing was worse by far than knowing. Not knowing meant there were many possible outcomes, while knowing closed off many avenues of conjecture. With fewer options to choose from, there was far less to worry about.<br /><br />Harry must have lost his head. Strange things happened inside the network. No one knew from moment to moment what was real and what was supplied by a fevered imagination. It was almost a certainty that Harry had been thinking about a previous lover, perhaps just a one-off that he remembered with fondness. No, Harry couldn't have known what he was doing. No one wearing one of those wretched containment suits would ever engage in a bit of snogging if he was in his right mind.<br /><br />With that settled, Snape attempted to set the memory aside, though his fingertips still moved slowly over his lips whilst he stared off into space, completely oblivious to his surroundings. He found himself thinking of his ham-fisted invitation to see a show and how Harry had reacted. He'd blushed—just before all the colour drained from his face. How was he to interpret that?<br /><br />Snape had chosen the show with Potter in mind—the whelp seemed to take rare delight in child-like things—and the story was one he imagined Potter could relate to. There were one or two parallels to Harry's life that could be drawn, certainly. But if Potter was going to be embarrassed by Snape's presence, then he'd just as soon acquire a ticket to see Lucia di Lammermoor at the Coliseum.<br /><br />There was, Snape decided, no point in dwelling on things he couldn't change. "We have to go back inside," he announced abruptly. Goodpasture and Potter stopped speaking immediately and stared at him as though he'd just burst into Parseltongue. "With your permission, sir, we will work in short bursts, no more than fifteen minutes at a time."<br /><br />Harry exchanged a look with Goodpasture that seemed to say, 'I've no idea who this person is' and nodded. "So, you found some of that mouldy stuff as well. Shall I contact the office then to let them know we'll be out for the rest of the day?"<br /><br />It occurred to Snape that he'd never even asked what Harry had found. He asked a few questions and revised his estimate of how long they'd be at it before nodding. "Let Viola know. Once that's done, clean the suits whilst I prepare the potion we'll need. Mr Goodpasture," he continued, "might I avail myself of your kitchen? I merely need running water and a small counter upon which to work."<br /><br />"Of course, Mr Snape," replied Goodpasture, his eyes dancing with amusement. Merlin alone knew what those two must have been speaking about to cause that sort of reaction, thought Snape. "It's right this way. It's a bit on the small side, but I except you'll manage." He climbed to unsteady feet and tottered through a swinging door, leading Snape to a old-fashioned kitchen with a wood burning stove and a pump faucet. A small butcher block table with two chairs sat in a corner with a vase of spring flowers set in the middle.<br /><br />Love lived here once; Snape recognised it the moment he walked through the door. Edmund and Dylan had spent many an hour here, chatting over endless shepherd's pies and steaming pots of tea. In that moment, he understood at last what he wanted for himself and it resided in the young man who was cleaning magical residue off their containment suits. Clearly, there was no fool like an old fool and Snape sighed.<br /><br />"There's always a fire burning and the pump doesn't need more than a light touch to operate," said Goodpasture. 'I'll leave you to it then, shall I?"<br /><br />Snape stepped to the counter and began to pull various tiny bottles and small jars from his tool belt. He set them in a row on the counter and looked through the window over the sink into a garden awash with flowers. "It's lovely," he murmured.<br /><br />Goodpasture hesitated for a moment at the door. "So is the boy, Mr Snape," he murmured as he slipped back into the living room, leaving Snape to stare in confusion at the swinging door. Wordlessly, he mixed his potion and thought about Harry.<br /><br /><center>~*~</center><br /><br />The next day, Snape was late with his paperwork. And he forgot to submit it in triplicate.<br /><br /><center>~*~</center><br /><br /><br /><b><i>Wednesday</i></b><br /><br />At precisely ten o'clock, a plate of shortbread appeared on Snape's desk, just like clockwork. Today, there was the merest hint of maple to it and Snape sighed at the taste. It was a little slice of happiness in biscuit form, delivered to him every day by magical means.<br /><br />Snape sat at his desk, biscuit in one hand, tea in the other, his thoughts still back in the network. A strange tension had arisen between them that afternoon, but they'd manage to rid Goodpasture's Floo of the lichen that had been building up on the walls. They'd squirted and scraped and swept for hours, not finishing until well into the evening.<br /><br />Through it all, Harry had worked tirelessly by his side without a word of complaint. He'd done whatever Snape had asked, offered suggestions at appropriate moments, ensured neither of them remained too long in the network, and had even given him one or two of those heart-stopping smiles. Harry had even ensured Snape's hair was tucked safely inside the hood of his suit. The gesture, so intimate, had made Snape's knees weak.<br /><br />"Severus!" <br /><br />Snape startled so badly he sloshed tea all over his quarterly analysis of Floo repairs. He gave Viola a baleful glare. "See what you made me do!"<br /><br />Viola tsked. "As if I had anything to do with this. You are late for the meeting of the department heads. Wainwright has sent three aeroplanes already." She swatted another one, this one a Sopwith Camel, out of the air. "Make that four." She waved her wand and restored Snape's report. "They are finalising the arrangements for the Arrows' friendly. We will be at their mercy if you don't hurry."<br /><br />"For Circe's sake, woman, why did you not inform me sooner?" growled Snape as he shot to his feet. He gathered a sheaf of parchment and tucked it under his arm before snatching another wedge of shortbread from the plate.<br /><br />"Because your head has been lodged firmly up your arse all morning," she roared back, her eyes flashing dangerously. "Ever since you spent that day in the network, you've been ignoring your work. Go to your meeting and try to remember there are important matters to attend to."<br /><br />Severus took off at as fast a pace as his dignity would allow, reining in his scattered thoughts as he stalked through the corridors of level six, his dark robes billowing in his wake. It was an effective tactic for clearing the hallway and his journey was unimpeded by busybodies who wanted a moment of his time for their pet undertaking.<br /><br />It was surprisingly simple to set aside the vexing problem of Potter whilst arguing with Fletcher Wainwright about the advantages of Portkeys over Floo connexions, though, in a moment of weakness, Snape conceded that having both would be useful. All this fuss for a simple Quidditch match. It was nothing short of a miracle that the Ministry got anything done at all.<br /><br />After agreeing to provide well over a hundred hours of labour to the Department of Magical Games and Sport in exchange for Quidditch tickets and half of the overtime he'd be forced to pay, Snape returned to an office in chaos. Three Patronuses, two Weasleys and the Minister of Magic were shouting at Viola as an aeroplane shaped like a British Tornado fighter jet zoomed through the office.<br /><br />"What is going on here?" he thundered. A Patronus shaped like an otter swam through the air and burbled out something that sounded like "Harry…St Mungo's…horrible…not make it." It gave a cry of distress and swam laps around his head. Not waiting to make sense of any of it, Snape Apparated directly to the fourth floor where the Spell Damage department was located.<br /><br />He stormed through the halls, avoiding the lime-clad Healers and medi-magicians scurrying purposefully through the corridors. At long last, he found a cluster of Weasleys at the end of a hallway near the stairs that led to the tearoom.<br /><br />"Where is Potter?" he demanded as what seemed like dozens of pairs of watery eyes turned on him. "What happened to him? Is he all—"<br /><br />"I'm here, Severus." Harry stepped out from behind one Weasley or another, his face grey and with tears streaming down his cheeks. "It's Ron. They were about to tell me when you showed up."<br /><br />"There was an explosion," said George, his freckles standing out like dragon pox on his white face. "I was working on combining an invisibility potion with a beautification potion—"<br /><br />"Did you account for the effect of dragon liver on fairy wings?" interrupted Snape.<br /><br />"Yes, but it was the ginger. It turns out there's a false wall in the shop," said George bitterly. "Neither Fred nor I knew about it when we set up the place. We thought it was stone like the rest of them, but it was some sort of chalk or something. I've no idea. The batch exploded and the cauldron shot through it like a cannonball, right into the store room where Ron was taking inventory."<br /><br />"Did it hit him?" gasped Harry.<br /><br />George shook his head and his eyes filled as he gazed helplessly at his mum. "No, but it smashed into the wall right next to his head. We had loads of stuff that's not supposed to mix together on those shelves. There's stuff in Heartbreak Teardrops that ought never mix with—"<br /><br />An agonised scream came from the room behind them. "Ron!" gasped Hermione and she yanked open the door. Inside, Ron was writhing and begging at the top of his lungs. Snape followed the crowd inside and his eyes bulged in horror. Ron's skin was bubbling and sloughing off in huge patches. Blood was mixing with serum and oozing all over the bed and he was screaming so loudly that Snape could practically hear Ron's vocal cords shredding.<br /><br />A team of Healers began casting spells whilst a medi-wizard consulted with a potioneer, but the spells only seemed to make matters worse. Ron's face seemed to be sliding off his skull, his left cheek was hanging near his collarbone, and Harry sprinted towards the bed as Ron let out a low gurgling moan. Snape wrapped a strong arm around Harry's shoulders and held him back as Molly fainted.<br /><br />"George, what was on those shelves?" barked Snape in a commanding tone as Arthur tried to revive his wife. "Quickly, before your brother is nothing more than a skeleton."<br /><br />George turned wide eyes on Snape and began listing products. "Uhh, Beguiling B-bubbles, umm, Crystal Tears…I mean Cupid Crystals, Dungbombs, Extendable Ears, Heartbreak Teardrops, Nose-Biting Teacups, the Skiving Snackboxes, Canary Cream, Tongue-Ton Toffees, Peruvian Darkness Powder, Shimmering Silver Sa—"<br /><br />"Go back. Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder?" demanded Snape. "Did any of the containers break? Were there any open wounds on your brother? He may have been poisoned by it."<br /><br />"Darken the place," shouted a Healer before George could say a word. "Everyone out. Now! Nox! Nox!" Two medi-magicians hustled everyone out into the corridor where they were met by a welcome witch wearing green and white stripes and an expression of alarm. Harry clung to Snape and Snape found himself throwing a protective arm around Harry's shoulders.<br /><br />"If you would come—" she invited.<br /><br />"Professor Snape, could you remain behind? One of our potioneers would like to speak with you." It was the mediwitch who had helped remove them from Ron's room.<br /><br />"What is happening to my husband?" demanded Hermione as she swiped angrily at her streaming eyes. "What does Peruvian powder have to do with anything?" Her breath hitched and she sniffed. Harry watched from the safety of Snape's arms though he must have been watching Hermione intently.<br /><br />"We have a lounge right—"<br /><br />"It has some rather horrible side effects if it gets into the bloodstream, phototoxicity being chief amongst them," the witch explained patiently. "Professor? Would you be willing to act as a consultant on this?"<br /><br />Harry turned in Snape's arms and gazed up with wide frightened eyes. "Please?" he said in a voice roughened by fear. "He's my best mate."<br /><br />"Will he be all right? Can you tell me that? Will Ron be all right?" pleaded Hermione.<br /><br />"It's too soon to know," said Snape. He met Hermione's tearful gaze, saw the pleading note in Arthur's eyes, and the desperation in Molly's. George's guilt tore at him, but it was the quiet hope shining in Harry's eyes, a certainty that Severus could fix anything, that swung the balance. "I will speak with your Potions Master," he said quietly, unable to tear himself from Harry's gaze. "I presume you have one on duty?"<br /><br />To the surprise of everyone, Snape most of all, Harry laid a palm on Snape's cheek and kissed him fully on the mouth. "Thank you." He kissed Snape again before wrapping his arms tightly around Snape's middle and resting his cheek on Snape's shoulder. "Thank you."<br /><br />Snape stood in flabbergasted silence, his lips still tingling from the delight of Harry's kiss, but his arms came up automatically and he held Harry close, breathing in the clean scent of him. His eyes closed and he rested his head upon Harry's.<br /><br />"I'll just…" The welcome witch gestured helplessly and backed away.<br /><br />"Please, Ms…?" Arthur spread his hands helplessly.<br /><br />"I'm Miranda. Miranda Fremantle." <br /><br />"Why don't you show us to that lounge now?" suggested Arthur. "I'm certain we'll be more comfortable there. Molly? Hermione? Let's find a place to sit, shall we?"<br /><br />The young witch turned warm brown eyes on Molly and held out her hand. "We've a lovely place right 'round the corner. There's hot chocolate and tea, and you can get a bite to eat upstairs if you'd like."<br /><br />Snape stroked the back of Harry's head and brushed a kiss over the faint remnant of the famous scar. "Go with your—go with the Weasleys. I will be there presently."<br /><br />Harry stepped back and gazed at Snape as if uncertain he'd keep his word. "But…" He turned his head and stared down the hallway. "You don't have to wait with us if you don't want to," he said as he met Snape's eyes again. "It's likely to take hours before they get Ron sorted and you have that whole thing with the Arrows' stadium to work out. Oh, and would ask Viola to reschedule the Barksdales cleaning? They have an infestation of Mesopotamian Pixies—"<br /><br />Snape laid a finger across Harry's lips. "I will return after I've spoken with the Potions Master." He kissed Harry lightly and then followed the mediwitch down to the lowest levels to the hospital where the brewing was done.<br /><br />Afterwards, Snape couldn't really say what he'd spoken with the Potions Master about. The Potions Master, a fine boned black woman with the most enchanting smile Snape had ever seen, asked cogent questions about Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder and combinations of ingredients that could counteract the worst of the phototoxicity. Snape answered by rote, making but a few suggestions that proved noteworthy, but the rest of him was reliving Harry's kisses.<br /><br />There was no question that the kiss had been a deliberate action on Harry's part. The unleashed magic within the network could not be used as an excuse. Was it possible, then, that Harry found him desirable? Severus thought back to the way that Harry fit so neatly in his arms; even the memory of Harry's scent was enough to cause his prick to stir.<br /><br />"Would you care to assist with the brewing, Severus?" The sherry-smooth voice startled Snape from his reveries.<br /><br />He shook his head. "My brewing is strictly for the enjoyment of it. I will leave Ronald's fate in your capable hands. If you will excuse me, I would like to return to the Weasleys and let them know where things stand with the Potions Division."<br /><br />Master Nwanna tilted her head. "As you wish. You gave me options, Severus. For that alone I am thankful." She offered a respectful bow, but the moment her head came up, she was snapping out orders. "Selvyn, two number five brass cauldrons of distilled water. Mina, I need shredded jellyfish tentacles. No, not those. Use the lion's mane." The potioneers scrambled and Severus slipped quietly through the door and made his way to the lifts.<br /><br />By the time Snape made his way to the lounge, Percy, Ginny and Kingsley Shacklebolt were clustered in with the family, offering useless platitudes to Hermione and Molly. Lingering near the doorway, almost out of sight, Snape studied Harry for a moment. Harry appeared to be following several conversations, but every few seconds his eyes would stray towards the entrance as though hoping Snape would step through it.<br /><br />It was a heady sensation, feeling wanted. Warmth trickled through veins once thought iced over and Snape found he walked a little taller and felt lighter of heart than he had even a moment ago. He slipped quietly into the room, his eyes only for Harry.<br /><br />Before he'd managed to walk three feet into the room, Percy was on his feet and moving to intercept him. "Snape! Where have you been? You left without telling anyone where you were going? Have you any idea the chaos you left, running off like that?"<br /><br />In a heartbeat, Snape's expression darkened and his lip curled. "I should think it obvious where I went—and why, if any of you lot had been paying attention. The Patronus intimated that Harry had been grievously injured and was here. I came to render what aid I could to ensure he survived the ineptitude typically shown by most of the Healers on staff."<br /><br />There was an uncomfortable silence. Then Hermione spoke up. "So, you're saying you've refused to help my husband?" She came to her feet and strode towards him, her dark eyes snapping with anger. "You still want to hurt Harry any way you can," she raged. "Ron is his best friend, but you're leaving him to people you think are incompetent. Get out," she growled.<br /><br />Harry rose and laid a hand on her arm. "Hermione, wait. He <i>is</i> helping. He's been with the Potions Master working on something that will save Ron. He's not abandoned him any more than he'd abandon me. Isn't that right, sir?"<br /><br />"Is it true?" demanded Hermione.<br /><br />Snape locked eyes with Harry and nodded. "I discussed with her several variants for the base she intends to use." He took a step forward and met the full force of her gaze. "She is quite competent and knows what she's on about. I dare say I'd take her potions were I to be under her care."<br /><br />"Would you give them to Harry?" Hermione stood with her arms folded tightly, her hair bristling almost as much as the rest of her.<br /><br />Snape's lip curled and the vein in his temple throbbed, but before he could level a scathing retort, Harry stepped in front of her and laid his hand in the centre of Snape's chest. Snape's anger died on his lips, and as he met Harry's questioning gaze, he nodded. "I've not brewed anything more complicated than a basic analgesic in three years, Ms Granger. Whilst I trust my skills have not eroded too terribly, in whom would you place your trust? The Potions Master of St Mungo's or a former profession who's not touched a cauldron in months?"<br /><br />"I—"<br /><br />"This is a family matter, Snape," said Percy firmly. "And you've a department to oversee. I'm certain the Minister will back me up on this."<br /><br />For a moment, Snape wasn't certain which side Kingsley would take. "To be honest, Severus—"<br /><br />Snape held up a hand. "No, Kingsley. Percy is correct. I should be back at—"<br /><br />"But—"<br /><br />"No, Harry. I do have duties to attend to." Snape's eyes were soft. "I will, however, return as soon as I am able." His dark eyes swept over the small group. "As it appears it will be some time before the Healers are able to give you a prognosis, might I bring some food back with me? It is, I assure you, no problem."<br /><br />The Weasley family looked at him with varying degrees of incredulity. Finally, Molly spoke. "Th-that would be lovely, Severus. Thank you."<br /><br />Snape started to turn, but a hand on his arm forestalled him. It was Harry. "I'll speak with Hermione, explain things to her. Just…she's a bit scared. We all are. She didn't mean it, at least I don't think she did." Harry pulled Snape's head down for another kiss, and then backed away. Snape felt green eyes boring a hole through him as he walked out of the lounge, more confused than ever.<br /><br /><center>~*~</center><br /><br />It was early evening when Severus returned to St Mungo's with several bags of steaming fish and chips under his arms. Making his way swiftly to the fourth floor, he was met with protestations of "I'm not terribly hungry" and "I doubt we'll be able to eat all this." But the Weasleys fell on it as though they hadn't eaten in months. Half an hour later, there wasn't a bite to be had and Snape was wondering if he ought to step out and buy some more.<br /><br />The Healers, he learnt, were on a second round of potions to purge the Peruvian Darkness Powder from Ron's system. Hermione informed him that Ron might lose a toe, whilst George added that they should have sacrificed an ear instead. Snape squirmed at that; it was his fault George had lost an ear, but the Weasleys were quick to assure him that no one bore him ill will.<br /><br />The group fell into silence, curled up in clusters on sofas that had been transfigured from large blocks of foam set in the room for just that purpose. Percy and Arthur dimmed the lanterns set on the end tables, casting the room into a soothing darkness. Harry was draped across him, his head resting comfortably in the hollow of Snape's shoulder. Within twenty minutes, Harry was asleep.<br /><br /><center>~*~</center><br /><br />"Professor? I want to apologise." Hermione's quiet voice barely reached Snape's ears. "I just feel so helpless and it's so hard, not knowing anything." Scattered around the room were dozing Weasleys, sprawled out on couches. Two pewter lanterns, their flames set low, sat on nearby end tables. <br /><br />Snape peered into the gloom and could barely read Hermione's expression in the dim glow of the lamplight. "I understand, Ms Granger." He shifted slightly, trying not to disturb the young man who had made himself at home in his arms. Harry muttered something unintelligible, rubbed his cheek against Severus' shoulder and slept on.<br /><br />"You were right, you know—and very wrong. I would have stopped at nothing had it been…" He gestured at the slumbering man, terrified at the thought of losing him. "But I know what your husband means to Potter. I did what I could without making the potions myself."<br /><br />Hermione's eyes focussed on Harry and studied him intently. "Would you have done had it been Harry?"<br /><br />Snape said nothing for awhile, electing instead to card his fingers through Harry's messy hair, so soft and silky to the touch. "Beautiful," he murmured before placing a gentle kiss on the top of Harry's head. "I suppose so, if only to take on the burden of failure should the attempts to save him prove unsuccessful." The smile that reached his lips was self-deprecating. "Never underestimate how powerful a motivator guilt can be."<br /><br />Hermione rose and moved to the sofa Snape shared with Harry. She lifted Harry's feet and slipped under them before settling them on her lap. "And what do you have to feel guilty about? Harry forgave you years ago. He was all set to drop out of the academy when you disappeared, but Kingsley talked him out of it. He's only working in the Floo Network Authority because you're…" Her eyes widened and she clapped her hand over her mouth.<br /><br />"Because I'm…what, Ms Granger?" said Snape silkily.<br /><br />"N-nothing," said Hermione swiftly. "Oh, he's going to kill me." She turned pleading brown eyes on him. "We used to tease him back in sixth year about having a crush on you. Well, you or Draco. It was hard to decide since he was obsessed with both of you. When he heard you'd survived the war, he tried so hard to make amends, but you wouldn't see him. He tried to put you out of mind, go on with his life, but he couldn't let go of you."<br /><br />"I wouldn't see him because I was terribly ill," explained Snape. "The venom from that damned snake…I could no longer determine what was real and what was a product of my mind. Once I was strong enough to leave my bed, I travelled, but home beckoned. It was happenstance that I learnt of the opening in the Floo Network Authority and something of a surprise that I was hired."<br /><br />He glanced at Harry. "Why did he leave the Aurors?"<br /><br />"Look at him," said Hermione. "He's sound asleep. Have you any idea how rare that is?" She shook her head and sighed. "It's his story to tell." Hermione looked up and met Snape's eyes. "All we want for him is to see him happy. Maybe he finally has a chance."<br /><br />"Is this where you threaten me with endless curses and hexes if I break his heart?" Gazing down, Snape drank in the dark lashes fanned against high cheekbones, the hint of stubble along his jaw, the slender nose and well-shaped lips. He would die first before hurting Harry.<br /><br />"I think you've loved him for ages," said Hermione simply. "Almost as long as you've hated him. But, yes. If you're cruel to him, I will make certain you're the most miserable person on earth."<br /><br />"No you won't," said Harry with a yawn, startling them both. " It's always complicated with Snape. We'll fight. We'll make up, and then we'll do it again and again and again. But we've not reached that point yet. All I want to do is fall in love and get to know this Severus, not the one who lived at Hogwarts."<br /><br />Harry yawned again and gazed up at Snape with bleary eyes. "I really did want to go with you to see 'The Lion King'. But I'd already promised I'd mind the kids."<br /><br />"Go to sleep, Potter," murmured Snape. "We will talk about it tomorrow."<br /><br /><center>~*~</center><br /><br />"Why are you here, Severus?" asked Percy hours later when it was clear no one was going to sleep any time soon. "It's not as if you're family. I doubt you've even seen Ron since the war."<br /><br />Snape stiffened and Harry sat up swiftly. "He's here for me, Perce," he said quietly. "He's here because I want him here. Because he promised to come back." Harry slipped his hand into Snape's and laced their fingers together. To Severus, it seemed as though they were presenting a united front, but united against what?<br /><br />"I don't understand," he murmured to Harry. "Ever since we worked inside the network you've been…" Snape didn't have a word to describe Harry's behaviour. In his experience, few people were ever delighted to see him. Few people touched him willingly or showed any signs of affection, but Harry had done all that.<br /><br />"Interested?" supplied Harry. "Open? Honest about how I feel?"<br /><br />"How do you feel?" asked Severus, confused. The whole thing simply baffled him, though he'd have been quick to admit he was here because Harry needed him if Harry hadn’t been so swift to answer.<br /><br />Across the room, Angelina snorted. "I'd say he's right taken with you."<br /><br />"Now, Anj," scolded George as he took his wife's hand. "Slytherins aren't as tuned in with their feelings as we Gryffindors. I doubt Snape here even knows how he feels about Harry. You can't expect him to know that and how Harry feels as well."<br /><br />"Harry's only been obsessed with you since he was sixteen," offered Ginny with a smile. <br /><br />"Hey," protested Harry. "I was obsessed with you, too. I even snogged you after we won the Quidditch Cup."<br /><br />"That's only because you wanted to practice with someone who knows how to kiss," Ginny fired back, grinning. "You had a lot to learn." She leant forward and gazed earnestly at Snape. "Harry's always needed someone older and wiser and I'm neither of those. After the war, it was pretty clear he'd developed a thing for you. We all thought it best if he was given time to figure out what he wanted out of life, so we let him be. Turns out it's always been you. That's why he went to work for Percy. I can assure you it's not because they're mates or anything."<br /><br />"Percy's not that bad," said Harry. "I mean, he's not Ron or George or Charlie or Bill, but it's not like he's Umbridge. Well, not usually."<br /><br />"Oi! I'm nothing like Umbridge," declared Percy as he lifted his nose in the air. "Besides, I look horrible in pink. It clashes with my hair." A broad smile emerged as everyone laughed. Even Molly managed a bit of a chuckle.<br /><br />Harry laughed as well. "Admit it, Percy. You never met a rule you didn't like."<br /><br />"He's not the only one who cares about the rules," drawled Snape. "Or have you forgotten the many detentions you served?"<br /><br />"How could I? My fingers are still twisted from all the writing you had me do." Harry pretzelled his fingers and held them up. "Admit it, Severus. You didn't assign me all those detentions to punish me. You only wanted to admire my assets."<br /><br />Snape's eyes widen and his jaw dropped. "You were a child," he hissed before realising that Harry was teasing him. He was being teased, by Harry, in front of the Weasleys. "But you do have lovely assets, Potter," he added, recovering quickly. "I'd have to be dead not to notice them."<br /><br />The warmth in Harry's eyes made Snape's breath catch, and his smile stopped Snape's heart. Then Harry's smile faded and some of Snape's happiness disappeared with it. "The truth is," said Harry in a low voice that did nothing to keep everyone from eavesdropping. "I've been attracted to the Half-Blood Prince for years, but it was almost impossible to reconcile what I thought I knew of him with what I thought I knew about you.<br /><br />"Turns out everything I thought I knew was wrong, but when I tried to see you so I could explain all that, Pomfrey kept turning me away. Then you left and that was harder to come to terms with than a lot of other things I'd had to deal with. I was certain I'd blown any chance of apologising for my pig-headedness when all I wanted was a chance to start over with you.<br /><br />"Then you came back. You're not the reason I left the Aurors, by the way," admitted Harry with a sideways glance at Snape. "That's a story for another time." Only Ron and Hermione knew his reasons and they'd keep his secret as long as they lived. "But I heard Percy talking at dinner about how you'd been put in charge of the customer service department and knew that they needed a trainee for the Floo Repair division, so I asked him to consider me."<br /><br />"I will admit I was surprised to see you appear," replied Snape, still reeling from Harry's confession. Part of him wanted to drag Harry off into a secluded corner and snog him senseless; the rest of him was too curious about what else Harry might reveal. "But you've done exceedingly well. Most of your reviews have been positively glowing."<br /><br />"Yeah, who wouldn't want the Boy-Who-Lived to repair their Floo?" said Harry. Bitterness tinged his words, but Snape quickly put an end to that.<br /><br />"Do you not believe I would screen for that?" growled Snape, somewhat affronted. Harry knew damned well who created the duty rota for the repair personnel. "The only time you're assigned upon request is if you've worked on their Floo before. Believe me, Potter, I will not send you into harm's way."<br /><br />Harry appeared gobsmacked. Clearly, the thought had never occurred to him. "This is why Dumbledore wanted me to trust you. Even when you despised me, you still had my best interests at heart. Anyway, the first time I saw you at the Ministry I was certain I'd made a berk of myself. I couldn't look away."<br /><br />"You've been all Harry could talk about," interjected Hermione. "'Stunning' was the word he used. Percy said you looked well-rested, but Harry was obviously smitten. We've tried fixing him up with other people so he wouldn't get his hopes up about you, but Harry's the most stubborn person I've ever met." She tilted her head and studied Snape for a moment. "Well, perhaps aside from you."<br /><br />"Harry doesn't do 'set up' well," said George. "Though Merlin knows we tried. Doesn't seem to matter who we've dangled in front of him, he has his heart set on you." He fell to his knees and walked on them to where Snape was sitting. "We're begging you, Snape. All of us, even Ron if he were here. Please, if you value our sanity, especially Percy's since you work with the git, go out with Harry. Take him on a date. Shag him through the bloody mattress—"<br /><br />Molly gasped. "George!"<br /><br />"It's all right, Mrs Weasley," said Harry. "Honestly, I wouldn't mind being shagged through the mattress." He glanced shyly at Snape. "If, you know, you might, possibly, be interested in someone like me."<br /><br />"You truly are an imbecile," said Snape despairingly. "Of course I'm interested. Why didn't you say something?"<br /><br />"Because I'm who I am," replied Harry.<br /><br />"The world does—"<br /><br />"No! That's not it at all." Harry sighed. "Because we have a long, horrible history. Because I thought if I made the first move, you'd find some reason not to trust it. You'd think I was having you on or taking the piss or something. I didn't think you'd believe I want to go out with you." He dropped his head for a moment as if exhausted. "I really did want to see 'The Lion King' with you."<br /><br />Severus pulled Harry into his arms and held him close. "If I had known sooner…" he murmured. "Will you come with me to see 'The Lion King'? We'll make a day of it." He might have to down a Pepperup to stay awake, or a Calming Draught to keep from despairing at the inanity of it all, but it was a decent enough place for a first date. At least there would be entertainment if their outing went spectacularly off the rails.<br /><br />Harry lit up and his smile was blinding. "I'd love to. As soon as I know for certain Ron will be okay, we'll go." Just as Harry lifted his head for a kiss, a Healer appeared in the doorway, asking for Hermione.<br /><br />They watched as Hermione squared her shoulders and steeled herself. Her steps were purposeful as she walked over to hear what the Healer had to say. Though most eyes were glued on Hermione, Snape was watching Harry, reading his expressions as one might skim through the <i>Daily Prophet</i>. Harry's brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed. He bit his lip. He sucked in a sharp breath and held it before collapsing back in Snape's arms, his eyes closed.<br /><br />And then Harry smiled.<br /><br />Harry disentangled himself from Snape's arms and stood by Hermione's side as the conversation continued. His arm went around Hermione's shoulder as he asked a couple of questions, though Snape couldn't hear what they were. Then Harry shook the Healer's hand and pulled Hermione into a hug.<br /><br />They walked together back into the lounge and Hermione gave Harry a tremulous smile before announcing, "Ron's responding well to the new potion. They think the powder will be out of his system in a few hours, and once that happens, they can start fixing him back up. It will be a few days yet, possibly as long as a week, before he starts to feel like himself, but they think he'll be all right in the end."<br /><br />Molly burst into tears and hurried over to wrap Hermione in a gigantic hug. Even George was teary-eyed, though most of the others appeared both exhausted and relieved. Arthur swiftly joined his wife as Bill and Ginny joined the throng. Through it all, Harry remained by Hermione's side.<br /><br />There was an undeniable bond between the two of them, one that had been tested by adversity and endured. With a pang, Snape recognised it was the sort of bond he might have formed with Lily had he been a little more social and far less judgmental when he was a student back at Hogwarts. To his surprise, the thought didn't hurt; it barely stung.<br /><br />Even more surprising was the realisation that there wasn't even the smallest twinge of jealousy. Harry needed his friends, but he needed a life mate as well, someone who would stand beside him and love him without condition. Perhaps it was a bit of insight. Maybe it was a touch of Divination, but for the first time in his life, Snape acted entirely on instinct.<br /><br />"Marry me," Severus heard himself say and there was a question over who was the more startled, Harry or Severus.<br /><br />Harry spun around, eyes wide. "What?"<br /><br />"What?" chorused half a dozen Weasleys.<br /><br />"Marry me." It had to be the most ludicrous thing he'd ever heard himself say, but Severus knew to the marrow of his bones that this was how their story would end—assuming, of course, that Harry agreed. Somewhere deep inside lived the clear understanding that the only person he wanted to share his life with was Harry Potter.<br /><br />"You-you're asking me to marry you?" stammered Harry. He approached Severus slowly and gazed up at him with uncertain eyes as the Weasleys murmured and whispered to one another. "But we've not even gone on a date yet."<br /><br />"Do you expect to learn something more about me than you already know?" countered Severus.<br /><br />"I don't even know your birthday!"<br /><br />"The ninth of January. Next?"<br /><br />"What's your favourite food?"<br /><br />"This week?" replied Severus. "Lamb shank with garlic and rosemary, but my favourites change. Constantly. Anything else?" He took a step closer and Harry looped his arms around Snape's neck.<br /><br />"Will you still take me to the theatre if I say no?" asked Harry, his voice nearly a whisper.<br /><br />Snape's heart clenched, but he forced his expression to remain open, if not genial. "If that is your wish."<br /><br />"In that case…" Harry's eyes swept slowly around the room, gazing at person in turn. He lifted his ear to Snape's ear and whispered. "I'll give you my answer after the curtain goes down."<br /><br /><center>~*~</center><br /><br />Severus married Harry Potter six months later. As a wedding gift, Viola doubled her shortbread recipe. Snape never did figure it out.<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://snarryglompfest.livejournal.com/30756.html">COMMENT BACK AT LIVEJOURNAL</a><br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarryglompfest&ditemid=2977" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentstag:dreamwidth.org,2013-03-03:1978740:2517Glomp for opheliadecessus2015-08-07T06:06:07Z2015-08-10T00:10:49Zpublic2<b>Title:</b> Second Chances<br /><b>Author:</b> Anonymous<br /><b>Prompt Number:</b> Five<br /><b>Rating:</b> NC-17<br /><b>Word Count:</b> 11,746<br /><b>Warnings:</b> M-preg, healer!Harry, bottom!Snape, character death<br /><b>Summary:</b> Healer Potter works in the children's ward at St Mungos. Imagine his surprise when a young girl admitted to the ward brings back old memories and second chance<br /><b>Author's Note:</b> Possible child loss trigger, NC-17 applies to Chapter Four which can be skipped without any major disturbance to the story line. General story is PG-17. <br />Beta'd by Eaglefeather_27<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Chapter One<br /><br />Harry looked down at the chart in his hand with a smile. Martouf was finally being discharged today, Harry always had mixed feelings with cases like this. Martouf was a nine year old boy that had come into St Mungos suffering with Dragon Pox, which under normal circumstances wouldn't have been an issue, but his mother had been subjected to several curses while pregnant with him. Death Eaters had been wanting her husband to supply information during the second war and had tortured her in order to gain his compliance. When Martouf was born a month after the end of the war he had been suffering from the effects of the curses and as a result he would always be weak in body although he was strong in mind. <br /><br />The poor boy was a recurring admittance and would be for the rest of his life, but it didn't dampen the boys spirit. He always was able to make Harry and many other of the pediatric medi-staff smile. It was nice to be sending him home again but Harry would miss him. This didn't stop him wishing for the boy to be magically better and for Martouf never to have to return to their care again. <br /><br />He straightened his lilac robes and entered the ward. It had changed a lot in the five years since he had started working there. It had once been the same as the rest of St Mungos, bland, white and clinical. It was quite depressing for the poor children that had to stay there, often on their own as there had been no accommodation for parents at that time. The children's mortality rate had been higher and recovery time longer compared to what it was now and the decline reinforced the positive impact the changes Harry had suggested had made on the children's experience and well being. It was the only time Harry had used his celebrity status to get something he wanted but he reasoned it was for the benefit of others so it wasn't a selfish act.<br /><br />The ward now was bright and cheerful. It could house up to twenty children in the main unit and a further five in the intensive care. The walls that had once been a bland dirty white were now covered in colourful pictures that moved around the walls, some enacting scenes of fairy tales, others capable of interacting with the children by following them around the ward on the wall. Above them on the ceiling were birds during the day, bright and colourful ranging from normal songbirds to tropical parrots and a night fireflies created moving constellation of stars. At the height of the war, the ward had been capable of holding forty beds but by the time Harry had begun working there they rarely had more than fifteen, and most of those just overnight admittance, so Harry had requested they lower the capacity by half to allow space for chairs to be transfigured into beds for worried parents. It had taken close to a year to get the men in charge to agree but they eventually did and they never looked back. <br /><br />Harry had also requested the staff room that had once been a separate room in the ward to be utilised instead as a play and sensory room for the patients. He had to pay for the refurbishment but it was well worth the money to see the children's faces as they played in the room. They had tried to rename the ward in honour of the positive changes Harry had made but Harry had managed to talk them away from using his name instead settling on 'Zaphiel Ward' named after the Guardian Angel of Children. It even gained a moto 'Per Risus Sanamus', 'Through Laughter We Heal'.<br /><br />Harry made his way over to the bed that Martouf had been staying in. The brown haired boy was laughing with his mother as she prepared his hospital bag for the trip home. A bright purple, five inch dragon that had been with him through his stay this time, was bouncing back and forth on the wall obviously happy it's ward was finally getting to go home. It seemed kind of poetic the dragon had latched onto him considering he came in with Dragon Pox, it never did well to try and guess why certain pictures latched onto certain children, it mostly gave Harry a headache because he was fairly certain the spell the painters had cast was incapable of giving the pictures such emotions or motives.<br /><br />"Hey there, trouble. I hear Dr Robnor told you, you could go home. That can't possibly be true. Who else would try and trick the matrons into giving them extra pudding." Harry smiled, accepting the soft grasp from Martoufs mother hand on his own. It was a reassurance thing for her, she needed contact sometimes to prove to herself things were real. It was one of the long term side effects from her time in the hands of the Death Eaters. <br /><br />"I don't do that. Honestly mum, I don't." Martouf told his mum looking worried, both Harry and the boys mum laughed.<br /><br />"It's ok dear. Thank you again Healer Potter." Juliet said softly.<br /><br />"How long have you been coming here? You know we have a first name rule here. Call me Harry, please." He chastised jokingly.<br /><br />"Well thank you, Harry. You really help him not just to get better but in general. He idolises you." She told Harry, warming his heart. It was the same every time they were there but it was nice to hear regardless, more so than those that say it because he was the Man-Who-Killed-Voldemort. Parents like Juliet said it because of the work he did now, not what he had no control over in the past.<br /><br />"It is always a pleasure seeing your son. We just wish we didn't need to see him so often. I know the Matrons will be glad for the break." Harry teased the boy, ruffling his hair. "Are you all set?" <br /><br />Juliet looked around the space, asking Martouf had he got everything. Once they were sure they had left nothing this time, Harry began to escort them from the ward. "Here is the latest care information and potion regime. If you have any questions or need anything just phone the Doctor, if he's off playing golf give me a call. You know the number to the ward and no offence Martouf, but I don't want to see or hear from you or mother until at least next year you hear me." Harry smiled, bending down to fasten the boys coat after passing his mum the information pack. <br /><br />That was another thing Harry had changed, before he qualified they were basically tossed out once they were better. No information, besides which potions to take and when. Now they get a list of apothecaries which stocked the potions, contact details of the people that had been on the case and a bit of information of how best to prevent whatever they came in with from happening again. Most of the time it was safety-in-the-home information but every now and again, like in this case, it was dietary information and nutritional information that should help boost the patients immune system. It had been such a success on their ward that other wards were starting to implement similar packs. <br /><br />Once the pair had left, Harry went back into his ward and went to see his next patient. His day went in a predictable routine. After doing this for five years everything was routine and familiar and he loved it. Helping these children get from a place no child should be to going home happy and healthy with their families, was more rewarding than anything he could have accomplished becoming an auror. It hurt like hell when they lost a child but he would never change it. <br /><br />This place was his home, more than Hogwarts ever was because here he was himself. Here he wasn't Harry Potter, The-Man-Who-Killed-Voldemort, instead he was Harry, just another member of a team that helped children to get back to being children. At the end of the day, Harry always went home completely exhausted, emotionally drained and wishing it was tomorrow so he could back to the place he loved.<br /><br />Chapter Two<br /><br />Harry turned up for his week of night shifts to find they had had a new admission during the day. The moment he stepped onto the ward Head Healer Sophia made a bee-line for him with a file. <br /><br />"Hey Sophia. New case?" Harry asked, walking over the central island where they did paperwork while still being able to keep an eye on their patients. The gate would only open to those programmed to it and a charm could be used to obscure those inside the island from the rest of the ward, if sensitive cases were being discussed.<br /><br />"Yeah, the father asked for you by name." She told him, handing the file over.<br /><br />"You know how I feel about those kind of parents." Harry told her, passing the file back over without looking at it. More than once children had been brought in when they could have easily been cared for at home because the parents wanted to meet him. He always refused those cases and now they very rarely happened. <br /><br />"This one you will want to take. The girls in intensive care. The father is away with business a lot and the mother is unfortunately not with us any longer. She's going to be quite on her own here." Sophia told him, she knew he had a soft spot for the children that would spend most of their time without an adult companion, for whatever reason. Rumours of his own childhood had made the circuits a few years ago thanks to Rita Skeeter, who swiftly found herself out of a job when certain illegal activities came to light, and Sophia believed this was the reason he honed in on those children. Not wanting them to feel alone when they were already suffering and Sophia knew he was brilliant with them. Those children tended to recover quicker and the mortality rate of children on his roll was the lowest of all the staff, but sometimes it was just time for the child.<br /><br />Harry put his bag down under the desk he would be using for the night and turned back to her. "Let's hear it." He said.<br /><br />"The child is called Mia. She is eight years old and has been suffering with what the father thought was Wizard Flu. He's a Potions Master, so had been treating her himself at home, he assured the admitting doctor he provides such potions to several apothecaries, and even supplies to us on occasion but this morning the poor dear had a fright when she begun to cough up blood. He was able to stop the bleeding in her lungs before bringing her straight to us." Sophia told him as he accepted the file, reading through the test result, that they had gotten back so far.<br /><br />"It says here she's a category four. Where did her father have to go?" Harry asked angrily. Category Four was one of the Intensive Care Categories. The poor girl was under constant care and expected to get worse considering most of her results had come back negative and they were only able to treat symptoms for the time being.<br /><br />"No idea, he said he's likely to be back tomorrow night. From what the admitting Doctor said, the poor man was distraught. I wouldn't be surprised if he was finding it difficult to cope. Wife gone, he had been doing what he thought was best for his daughter, only to find out he may be causing her death by not bringing her in sooner. It's too much for some people, you know that." Sophia told her friend softly.<br /><br />"I suppose." Harry conceded. He looked at the file again. "Mia Prince. I don't recognise the surname."<br /><br />"She's adorable, got the most beautiful eyes. By the time she got brought up she was exhausted, last time I checked in on her she was asleep. I was going to check on her again before I left." Sophia told the man, who was grabbing for his other patient files.<br /><br />"Let me know if she's awake. If not, I'll check on my other patients before doing my initial checks on her. I don't fancy waking her if she is as ill as she seems." Harry told Sophia. <br /><br />"Sure, I'll go check on her before I do my final checks, then home time. Absolutely knackered." Sophia laughed, Harry laughed along with her. It was an hour before Harry finally managed to peer in on his new patient. He had been held up by two of his patients bullying him into telling them bedtime stories and the third hadn't wanted to leave the playroom for bed. <br /><br />He walked up to the Intensive Care Unit, it was decorated in much the same way the main ward was but had various charms and equipment scattered about that the main ward didn't have, making it seem cluttered. There were only five beds in this part of the ward all empty except forone. There was also a desk and chair for staff needing to stay with their patients. Harry took Mia's file over to the desk before walking over to the bed. He took the monitoring parchment from where it was secured at the foot of the bed and started to look it over as he moved up the bed to see his patient.<br /><br />The poor girls vitals were all over the show, her breathing rate was up, her heart rate was down and her blood pressure was doing some weird conga. If she didn't improve by tomorrow, Harry would have to declare her Category Five. Category Five was basically reserved for patients they didn't expect to make it. They continued to try but a lot of the care was palliative and they spent a lot of time preparing the families for the worse. Harry hated declaring a Category Five, it felt to him as though they were giving up but it was part of his job, one of the worse parts.<br /><br />He looked up from the parchment and took in the child before him. She was really pale, made to look more so by her long, wavy black hair. She did look like such a cutie, her face still shaped with some baby fat giving her big cheeks which helped to even out her distinctive nose. It was a bit long for her face, slightly hooked at the end but she would grow into it. Harry brushed a stray hair away from her eyes gently. She stirred opening her eyes for no more than a second, but it was enough for Harry to be amazed by the colour. They were jade green much like his own, he didn't know anyone else with eyes like those besides himself and his mother. Maybe the child's mother was related to the Evans somewhere down the line. Maybe her father was, Harry wouldn't know until he got to meet the man. With any luck she'll still be hanging on by then. <br /><br />-x-x-x-x-x-<br /><br />Harry was brought back to the Intensive Care Unit by the alarms set up around Mia, she was crashing. He had left the Unit to do his 3am rounds on his other patients. He ran back to the room, to find Healer Harrison already working on the young girl. <br /><br />"What do we have?" Harry asked, authoritatively as he entered the room. He was the Healer in Charge tonight.<br /><br />"Her BP and heart rate have dropped. She had flat lined but I managed to jump start her. I'm currently trying to get her blood pressure to increase so I can put her in stasis until morning." Harrison told Harry. Harry unlocked the medicine cabinet and pulled out a couple of vials. Going to the opposite side of the bed, he began to pour the potions into the child's mouth, charming her to swallow them before she drowned on them instead. <br /><br />It took a couple of minutes but the combination of Harrison's charms and Harrys potions worked and she was stable enough to put into a stasis sleep for the time being. The rest of the night went swiftly. Harry caught up on paperwork he neglected during his week of days and then dozed for a bit before the day staff showed up at 8am. Harry was glad to collapse in his bed when he finally got home, he just hoped when he returned he wouldn't have discovered he'd lost a patient. <br /><br />Chapter Three <br /><br />The rest of Harrys week of nights went uneventful, in the grand scheme of things. Timothy was almost ready for discharge, Samantha had finished her second lot of medicine and was due more tests next week, Philip had recovered from the whole swallowing pixie eggs thing and had been discharged and Mia was still under stasis. No better but no worse than the first night. Her father had shown up during the day after her second night in their care. He had come diligently every day since, but was unable to stay the nights. Sophia had told Harry that the man, who liked to be addressed as Mr Prince was quite a stern man to staff, demanding information and answers but not really wanting to give any of his own. He didn't really engage with the staff like most parents instead enjoying his time alone reading to his daughter. <br /><br />It wasn't until nine days after Mia was admitted that Harry finally met the man and bloody hell was he surprised.<br /><br />-x-x-x-x-x-<br /><br />Mr Prince, as he was known as now, walked into Mungos with his usually mask of indifference. He had been told yesterday his daughters Healer was back on days this week and would be in today. Mr Prince was therefore quite nervous about going to see his daughter today. He didn't want her Healer to find out the truth, it had the potential to destroy his whole world but his world was already falling apart. Mia, his gift, was dying and there was nothing any of them could do. They didn't even know what was wrong with her. <br /><br />He walked through the now familiar halls towards Zaphiel Unit, his mask firmly in place. He knew his daughter's healer would recognise him instantly and he also knew his daughter's healer was the best, that was why he had requested him. If he had had any other option he would have gone to a whole different country but waking up to the sounds of his daughter screaming in pain and coughing up her own blood had forced him to see a man he had not seen in years for good reason. <br /><br />He had made a quick decision and he would not regret it. Not if it saved his daughter. Mia was his life, had been since the day she was born. He had no one else in this world besides her and he would kill anyone, quickly and without remorse, to ensure her happiness. After everything that had come to pass, he had truly believed he would never find happiness again but the moment he held her he knew that she had been sent to him. That was why he had named her Mia Pandora Prince. She was his new start, she was his gift from God, she was his one true hope of happiness. <br /><br />Now she was here, and he was helpless to save her. After bringing her in, and hearing the doctors and healers discuss her case he couldn't stay. He knew it was cowardice, but he had needed time to get over his own guilt. What ifs had flooded his mind and for two days he was in a pit of despair but then he was reminded of what she had brought into his life and he couldn't stay away. He left every night to ensure he was rested for the next day and if he was honest to avoid her healer but that had to end. She needed him, she had given him his life back and he had to ensure she would live hers to the fullest no matter what it took. <br /><br />He finally reached the ward, he took a deep breath and made sure his mask was firmly in place. It wouldn't do to have them see him as weak. As he entered the familiar ward he saw the faces of the children and their parents, trying to make light out of their situation. He couldn't do that, his daughter wasn't even awake. He made his way straight to the Intensive Care Unit, he wasn't surprised to find Potter sat at the desk in the room. He had been told by other Healers on the unit that Harry was one of the most committed Healers they knew. He had made and forced most of the changes that had improved the Pediatric Care over the last few years. His charges loved him and he was committed to every single case on his books which was why he only took a few at a time. <br /><br />Mr Prince had known at the time he had made the right decision requesting Healer Potter as his daughter's Healer, but seeing him sat there engrossed in his case files just reinforced that thought. If only the man had paid his school work this much attention. <br /><br />He opened the door, looking at his daughter, pale and lifeless in her bed, a faint glow around her indicating the stasis charm was still in place, the small movement of her chest the only indication she was still alive. Mr Prince went straight to her bedside, taking a seat next to her, lifting a book out of his cloak. Tales of Beedle the Bard, it was Mia's favourite. <br /><br />"Severus, what are you doing here? Do you know her father?" Harry asked, after he looked up from his paperwork to see who had come into the room.<br /><br />"I am her father, Potter." He replied not looking up from the book, as he tried to find the page he was last on. Harry looked at his ex-professor stunned beyond words for a moment. "Problem Potter?" Severus pushed.<br /><br />"No, well beside the fact I'm back to Potter. I just wasn't expecting. . . I suppose I see it now though. I'm sorry to hear about her mother?" Harry said, just wishing to keep Severus talking while his brain caught up.<br /><br />"What about her mother?" Severus put down the book on his lap for a moment, he had missed watching Harry flap when he wasn't sure what was going on.<br /><br />"About her death, I bet it's hard raising Mia by yourself. When did she pass?"<br /><br />"What makes you think she's dead?" Severus asked, enjoying the look of confusion that passed over Harry's face. <br /><br />"It was reported that she only had her father. I think my boss assumed her mother had passed. It was the information I was given anyway."<br /><br />"Potter you're rambling." Severus told him.<br /><br />"I am aware of that." Harry laughed. <br /><br />"Her mother isn't dead, she just isn't involved in Mia's life." Severus told him, turning back to the book.<br /><br />"That's worse, somehow. How could a mother not want to have anything to do with her child?"<br /><br />"I've never really worried about it. She doesn't know the woman, she doesn't miss her."<br /><br />"I doubt that, a child always misses their parents even if they don't remember them." Harry said sadly, standing to go over to Mia's bed. It was time to check her vitals he told himself.<br /><br />"You speak as though you know." Severus told him.<br /><br />"You know I do." Harry replied, picking up the monitoring parchment. He checked over it for a small while before nodding to himself. "She's still stable. I'm going to go check on my other patients. Call if you need anything." He told the older man, hearing his old professor take up reading to the child, he left the room a small sad smile on his face.<br /><br />-x-x-x-x-x-<br /><br />Harry sat at his best friends dining table. They made the effort to meet once a week for dinner as long as Harry wasn't on nights, this week it was Ron and Hermione's turn. They were eating a gorgeous Chicken Chasseur that Hermione had cooked, while Ron told them a story of an incident at work where one of his colleagues had thought it would be a great idea to charm their Department Heads Office to rain jelly after his expenses for a case where refused.<br /><br />"It took the Magical Maintenance guys all day to get it to stop. Place was still covered when I left." Ron laughed. <br /><br />"I still think it's mean." Hermione said sternly.<br /><br />"Nah, it'll be cleared by tomorrow. Roger had put up charms to protect his paperwork." Ron told her. "Didn't save the God awful picture of Philips mother, you could hear her screech from the pit." Ron laughed. Harry laughed along with him, earning a glare from Hermione.<br /><br />"Harry, how are things at work? Not seen you in a fortnight, is that poor little Martouf still in?" Hermione asked, trying to change the subject.<br /><br />"No, he got discharged two days after our dinner date. Got a new case now." Harry told her, before taking a bite of the chicken, he almost moaned it was that good.<br /><br />"I don't know how you do it mate. I couldn't." Ron told him around a mouthful.<br /><br />"And that's why you don't." Harry laughed as Hermione nudged her husband in the ribs for his table manners. They had improved but some days . . . <br /><br />"So, what's the new case?" Hermione asked, pouring herself a glass of wine.<br /><br />"Eight year old girl. Brought in after suffering what her father thought was Wizarding Flu but had developed into her coughing up blood. The father had been medicating at home for around a week but she's gone downhill quick now she is in our care. She's in Intensive Care under a stasis charm, so close to a Category Five that it's already half written in her file." Harry told them sadly, the meal forgotten for a moment<br /><br />"Oh god. Do you not have any idea's?" Hermione asked, Harry could see her going into research mode. It happened every time he had a difficult case and usually some good ideas would come out of it, which in general would lead them to finding a cure.<br /><br />"All the usual tests have come back negative. She's not hexed, cursed or poisoned by any of the usual things. All the viral and bacterial tests have also come back negative. We are looking into the first symptoms and have a list of medicines the father brewed to see if we can find anything there to explain why she suddenly went down hill even though she had been fairly stable for a week." Harry informed her.<br /><br />"Maybe there was an ingredient or combination of ingredients that was halting the process." Hermione mused.<br /><br />"That's what we are thinking, if we can find the ingredients we might have a better idea of what caused this. It's taking time though, you know what it's like at Mungos, labs take forever to get back with even the basics, let alone anything as complex as this." Harry told his friends.<br /><br />"What was the father thinking medicating at home for Wizards Flu?" Ron asked, stabbing a potato.<br /><br />"He's on his own, a Potions Master and a fairly competent home-healer." Harry told them.<br /><br />"Sounds like you know him." Hermione stated looking at Harry quizzically.<br /><br />"We all do its Snape." Harry told them, he quickly darted back when Hermione started choking and Ron sprayed the table with food. Harry laughed.<br /><br />"That was a cruel joke mate." Ron told him, wiping his mouth on his sleeve and patting Hermione on the back.<br /><br />"Not a joke, the daughter is Mia Pandora Prince. Remember in sixth year when I had the Half-Blood Prince's potions book. Snape informed me it was his. I can't remember if I ever told you that. His mothers maiden name is Prince, apparently after the War he started to go by her name. That's why we haven't heard anything about him in all these years." Harry started to eat again.<br /><br />"What happened to her mother?" Hermione asked.<br /><br />"No idea, Snape . . . Sorry Mr Prince said that she's still alive. Just never wanted to have anything to do with the child. I don't understand that. If you saw her . . . She's the cutest thing." Harry told them.<br /><br />"That's awful. . . I wonder how they met?"<br /><br />"Probably a prostitute." Ron murmured over his dinner, earning himself a slap over the head. Harry could understand his friends disbelief that anyone would go near the greasy dungeon bat but Harry had, had a glimpse of the true Severus and it wasn't that bad.<br /><br />"If the girls eight, do you think her mother was one of the baby boomers?" Hermione asked.<br /><br />"Baby boomer?" Ron asked in return.<br /><br />"Yeah, a woman that got pregnant during the celebrations at the end of the war. If Mia was a result of a drunken one night stand I can kinda understand why the mother doesn't want her. Though I personally couldn't do it." Hermione added shaking her head. <br /><br />"I don't know, her date of birth is the 25th January 1999." Harry told her, watching as his friend did the math. He hadn't seen Snape with anyone else during that time.<br /><br />"Yeah sounds about right. Loads of babies were born at the end of January and the beginning of February that year. There were loads from that party we attended, you know the one, held as a street party in Diagon Alley." Hermione told them taking a sip of her wine.<br /><br />"Isn't that the one that they suspected someone spiked the punch? That's the night Dean got knocked up." Ron asked.<br /><br />"I didn't hear about anyone spiking the punch. What was it spiked with?" Harry had gone on his world trip a few weeks after the street party and hadn't returned for a full year, so he wasn't surprised he hadn't heard anything.<br /><br />"I only found out because they suspected Fred." Ron told him. "They thought someone had put a very strong fertility potion in the punch, but never had enough proof to get anyone on it."<br /><br />"And Dean wound up getting a kid from it?" Harry asked, he hadn't spoken to Dean in years. He hadn't even known he had a kid. <br /><br />"Yeah, Seamus and him were a lot closer than we all suspected. Seamus managed to get him up the duff that night. You remember the entire fiasco about it, Hermione? First male pregnancy in a Century, that's why they suspected a fertility potion. A man can't get pregnant without some help."<br /><br />"I didn't know a man could get pregnant at all." Harry told them, his heart hammering in his chest. He would know wouldn't he.<br /><br />Chapter Four<br /><br />Harry hadn't stayed much longer after dinner. Their talk of the celebrations and the aftermath had started something in his mind and after that he wasn't the best of company. He remembered the party they had been talking about. Held about a week after the defeat of Voldermort by the shop owners that were slowly but surely making their way back onto Diagon Alley. It had been the only party Harry had attended that didn't have some official reason for him to be there. <br /><br />-x-x-x-x-x-<br /><br />Harry apparated into chaos, people were shouting and laughing, streamers and fireworks were randomly going off and flying down the street. Kids and adults alike were running about playing games, enjoying the freedom that came with the destruction of a mad man. It was nothing like the few parties he had gone to before. They had all been stiff and formal, people congratulating him on becoming a murderer and freeing them of the job at the same time. It had been tiring to attend those parties, but this one had a smile blooming on Harrys face. <br /><br />People stepped around him, so wrapped up in their own euphoria that they didn't even recognise him, here he was just another one of the people. He had only been at the party an hour, chatting to anyone and everyone that came to him when he spotted Snape stood a little way off from everyone. He looked quite out of place observing the celebrations, excusing himself from a conversation between Mr Weasley and one of the shop owners that was planning on catering more towards the muggle-borns, he made his way over to his ex-Potions Master.<br /><br />"Mr Potter." Snape greeted as Harry drew near.<br /><br />"Professor Snape." Harry nodded his head in a return greeting. "I hadn't expected to see you here. I didn't even know you had been discharged." <br /><br />Snape, Harry noticed, looked decidedly uncomfortable. His back was ramrod straight and to a wall, his eyes constantly scanning the faces of the crowd and a very slight, almost indiscernible, flinch past through his body every time a firework went off. Harry knew the signs, had demonstrated them often enough in the past year. "Come on, let's go get a drink."<br /><br />"I don't think so Mr Potter." Snape replied, eyes flickering to Harry's for a moment before going back to scan the crowd. <br /><br />"Why are you here then?" Harry shouted over a child screaming as they ran past. He noticed the wince in Snape's face. <br /><br />"If I have one drink, will you leave me alone?" Snape asked tiredly.<br /><br />"I can't promise anything, but I'll try." Harry smiled, leading the man over to one of the many refreshment tables set up along Diagon Alley. He poured them both a glass of punch and noticed that Snape waited a few minutes after Harry had taken a sip before trying his own drink.<br /><br />Harry smiled, hiding it behind the cup as he took another drink. After viewing the dying man's memories, Harry felt as close to this man as he did Ron and Hermione. They didn't understand his new fascination with the older man but it was there none the less.<br /><br />"Why did you come to the party, Professor? You don't really seem to want to be here." Harry asked. <br /><br />"I could say the same about you. You smile and act like you are glad to be amongst them but I saw you when you thought no one was looking." Snape told the young man, he had been observing the Saviour since his arrival on the street. <br /><br />Harry avoided his eye from a moment, Snape could almost see him gathering his Gryffindor courage. "Do you want to come back to mine? I don't want to drink on my own" Harry asked him finally. <br /><br />"Why?" <br /><br />"Thought you would appreciate it more than any of my friends. They are happy to be here, I don't think you and I fit in here anymore." Harry told him, not sure if he was talking about the party or something more.<br /><br />Snape finished his drink before answering. "Grimmauld Place?" He asked, Harry nodded slightly disbelieving his Potions Master was agreeing as Snape apparated out. The man left behind shook his head, downed his drink and sent a Patronus to Hermione to let her know he had gone home. <br /><br />When he arrived, he found the Potions Master sat in the kitchen, waiting. "Just let Hermione know I'd left. They get worried especially with Death Eaters still being out and after my blood." Harry informed the man sat at his table. He made his way over to the cupboard to get down two tumblers. "Is Firewhiskey ok? Or would you prefer something else? The Blacks had quite an extensive supply of drinks." <br /><br />"Firewhiskey will be fine." Snape agreed. Harry poured some into their glasses, placing Snape's glass in front of the man before putting the bottle on the table and taking a seat himself.<br /><br />"To the end of Voldemort" Harry raised his glass in toast. Snape nodded, raised his glass in response before both downed their drink, Harry gasped as it burned on its way down. "Another?" Harry asked pouring himself another drink before pouring Snape another.<br /><br />Snape raised his glass this time. "To surviving." Harry raised his glass in response this time before downing the burning liquid. A couple more toasts and drinks had Harry looking at his Potions Master in a different light. <br /><br />The man had finally begun to relax as the drinks were poured, they spoke of the war, of the past, of the people they had lost. Harry learned a bit more of Snape's relationship with his mother and what the woman was like as a person. The minutes gave way to hours until the clock chimed eleven, at some point they had made their way into the dingy lounge with the bottle of Firewhiskey, both men were slightly more than a little inebriated but it was ok. They both felt safe in the others company. They shared more commonality with each other than they ever could with any other person. After all who could say they died at the hand of Voldemort and we're still walking to talk about it.<br /><br />"I had best be off home. No doubt I will be requiring a strong hangover cure in the morning." Severus said as he stood, he swayed on his feet causing Harry to giggle at his expense. "I hope you are not laughing at me."<br /><br />"Never." Harry smiled, also standing. He almost lost his balance completely as his head spun, luckily a strong pair of arms embraced him, helping to keep him on his feet. The smile fell from Harry's face as he melted into the embrace. The solid chest in front of him, the strong arms around him, the methodical hands behind him, stroking small circles on his back almost of their own accord, the smell of Firewhiskey gently caressing his face on a soft, warm breeze, everything about the man holding him assaulted his senses, sobering him.<br /><br />"I had best be off." Severus repeated, his voice soft sending shivers of arousal down Harry's spine before settling in his growing member.<br /><br />Harry ignored him, instead he ran a hand down the man's chest feeling the strong muscles there twitch beneath his fingers. When had Severus lost his robe? "I have done a lot in my short life." Harry spoke, almost in a whisper. "I have lost my parents, grown in questionable conditions, found and lost friends, learned to fly and fight and survive, I have been killed and have killed but the one thing I have never done, the one thing I have never really wanted to do until now was make love." Harry felt Severus gasp beneath him, as his fingers continued to explore the chest before him. He was still quite short, his head only just coming up to Severus nose.<br /><br />"No." Severus answered the unspoken question. <br /><br />"Is it because you don't want to?" Harry asked, his voice still low. The Gryffindor in him, pressed his hardness into Severus thigh and felt an answering hardness at the base of his stomach. Harry didn't wait for an answer, he stood on his tiptoes and kissed the man who had tormented him for so many years but he felt closer to than any other person on the planet.<br /><br />He was surprised to feel Severus pull him closer and kiss him back with a hunger that echoed Harry's own. Tongues tangled and fought for dominance, breath was stolen and given equally as hands roamed unexplored territories. Someone moaned, but who neither man knew nor cared, as lust and heat and arousal began to dominate their minds. Severus pushed Harry back allowing the man to fall onto the settee they had just vacated before straddling the younger man, his mouth finding and devouring Harry's again. <br /><br />Someone cast a spell to rid them of their clothes, causing both to groan as they came skin to skin for the first time. Cock rubbed against cock as Harry's hip pushed upwards to meet Severus as the older man rocked in his lap. <br /><br />"Oh god." Harry groaned, his cock slipping in between Severus cheeks, the muscles squeezing Harry's member. Severus growled as the head of Harry's prick teased his opening, he bent down to pick his wand up from where it had been discarded near them and cast the spells to lubricate and stretch his quivering hole.<br /><br />"Harry, stop moving." He told the younger man, the shock of Severus using his name had Harry stilling his thrusts before Severus had issued the command. Severus took hold of the younger man's cock, positioning it near his prepared and aching hole before sinking down slowly. Harry held himself tense to prevent himself from thrusting upwards as his dick was surrounded by hot, quivering velvet walls. <br /><br />Severus felt the solid length fill and stretch him as he lowered himself down onto it. His internal muscles shivered and twitched as he tried to get re accustomed to bottoming. It had been years since he had been filled but anything other than his fingers. He had missed it. Once Harry was fully seated inside of Severus, the older man lifted up groaning at the emptiness that was left in the wake before dropping back down onto the waiting cock. <br /><br />"Oh god," Harry groaned, his head falling back onto the back of the settee as his cock was squeezed and pulled and engulfed. He knew he wouldn't have lasted this long if it hadn't been for the Firewhiskey. "Fuck" <br /><br />Severus groaned in agreement, pulling himself up again, feeling his muscles loosen to the invasion. His movements grew quicker, harder and soon there were no more words, no sounds other than the slap of skin on skin, the groans of men finding completion together. Time became meaningless, movement, friction and sensations became the be all and end all. It seemed to take eternity and yet it seemed to end too soon as Harry came inside a tunnel that squeezed and pulled his orgasm from him so insistently that his eyes rolled into the back of his head as he arched up and pumped himself into the needy body above him.<br /><br />-x-x-x-x-x-<br /><br />Harry woke to hear someone moving around him, he didn't remember much of the night after around their fifth shot of Firewhiskey but the ache and jelly feeling in his lower body told him that the flashes of him having sex were not dreams. He opened his eyes to see the ceiling of the lounge. "Severus?" He asked as the sound of movement stopped, his voice rough and thick. Harry's head began to bound.<br /><br />"I should not have stayed." Severus said somewhere near the door. Harry turned to look at him, noticing he was on the floor, a throw covering his naked body. "We shouldn't have done that." Severus was fully clothed, looking every bit the imposing Potions Master that had stood at the front of the classroom that very first potions class. <br /><br />"Why?" Harry asked, standing and swaying a little as he wrapped the throw around his waist, suddenly feeling self-conscious.<br /><br />"You know why." Was all the answer Harry was getting to get.<br /><br />"So what now?" But Harry sensed he knew the answer before he even asked the question.<br /><br />"Nothing. We were drunk. It was a mistake. It was fun but it can't and won't happen again." Snape told his ex-student before leaving the man. Harry heard the front door open and close, his mind still reeling. A fortnight later he left the UK needing to be away from the circus that his life had become. <br /><br />Chapter Five<br /><br />Harry hadn't slept much the night before, his mind providing questions and theories that kept his thoughts turning well into the early morning. He stepped into the brightly coloured ward, a smile on his face but it didn't reach his eyes. He needed to speak to Severus, he couldn't be left wondering any more.<br /><br />"Morning Harry." Sophia greeted as he walked up to the central desk. She noticed his tired look straight away "You ok?" <br /><br />"Yeah, didn't sleep much. Any major changes?" He asked as he set his things down and began picking up his patients files. <br /><br />"Not really, the lab dropped off the newest set of tests. I think Mia's are in there but I haven't had chance to scan through them yet. Samantha seems much improved today and Timothy's discharge paperwork just needs your signature. His pack is in his file. Oh and a memo came, we all need our latest Brownie rash jabs." Sophia told him as he flicked through his files. <br /><br />He looked over to the 'in' shelf for the test results and found Mia's. "Thanks." He told Sophia before making his way to the Intensive Care Unit. He would check on Mia first before Severus turned up. He entered the room and found her still in the same condition his spell had kept her in for so many days. Thoughts invaded his mind, what was killing her? What was she like? Was she a happy playful child? A bookworm like her father? Mischievous like him? Because now he looked at her, really looked at her their was no denying it. She was a Potter, even without the eyes Harry could see some of his childhood features in her. The shape of her face, the way her hair waved, he imagined if it had been short it would have resembled his own, even the shape of her hands and fingers matched his own now he looked. <br /><br />He took a deep breath to stop the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him and instead took a seat at the desk. He looked over the results, the latest test had been one to recover any past dark spells that may have been cast. He looked at the results and cursed under his breath. Standing abruptly he marched back out into the main ward. "Can you get me Healer Simmons on the floo?" He asked one of the Matrons as he went to the centre desk, retrieving the book on dark curses they had there. He flicked through it until he got the right page.<br /><br />The Vastentas Curse, also known as the Wasting Curse, is a particular aggressive curse. The curse itself involves a ritual requiring some specimen from the intended victim. This can be hair, spit, sexual fluids or blood. Anything from the body of the victim. The curse causes the body to begin attacking itself, starting slowly the body is no longer able to accept nutrients. This lack of nutrients causes the immune system to start to fail. Once the body's immune system begins to fail the curse turns what is left on the body. At this point, the curse is irreversible. Depending on the victim and the strength of the caster the curse can take anywhere between one lunar month to half a year. Only the caster can remove the curse. <br /><br />"Harry, I have Healer Simmons on the floo." A matron told him as he closed the book. His whole being wanted to cry but his healer training kept the tears at bay. He made his way over to the floo in the corner.<br /><br />"Ah Healer Potter, one of your Matrons said you wish to speak to me." The ageing man said through the fire place.<br /><br />"I wish for a consult. I have my patients information with me is it alright if I step through." Harry answered.<br /><br />"Of course. Come on through." Healer Simmons nodded before his head vanished. Harry stepped through a moment later, praying the book was wrong.<br /><br />-x-x-x-x-x-<br /><br />Severus stepped into the Ward, it was too cheerful. His daughter was lay in a bed dying and yet the place was filled with laughter, children's laughter from the playroom attached. He ignored the other children and parents, healers and matrons alike. His one and only mission was to each the room his daughter was held in.<br /><br />He closed the door, closing out the laughter and talking from the main ward. He couldn't bare to hear it today. He went to the bedside and took a seat, grasping at his Mia's cold lifeless hand. He moved his hand to her wrist, resting his fingers over her pulse. His nightmares had been vivid last night, he needed the reassurances she was still with him. At least for the moment. <br /><br />His sleep had been filled of her laughter, her smiling happy face. She had been in the garden, playing amongst the herbs he grew for his potions. He was chasing her, happy and carefree once more. The sun that had been blazing high above them suddenly fell dark, the birds that had been singing fell silent, the smell of the herbs that had filled his nose rotted and his daughter. His gorgeous, intelligent, loving daughter turned to face him. Blood pouring from her eyes and ears, screams streamed from her open mouth torturing his ears as her skin, her flawless, soft skin decayed and rotted from her body. "Daddy, help me." She screamed but he couldn't move, he couldn't do anything as he watched her writhe in pain as she rotted. A laugh had filled the air as his daughters screams reached their peak, her organs falling from her as her muscles liquified and fell from her bone. "You should have never betrayed him." The very air seemed to say to him. An eternity seemed to pass before the silence fell upon him. His eyes never leaving the sight of his daughter dying before him.<br /><br />He looked down on his daughter now and found the nightmare had been true, she was wasting away. She was dying before him and there was nothing he could do about it. He had to trust the one man he couldn't even tell the truth to. He had wanted to. After leaving Grimmauld Place that morning, he had wanted to return but he had been scared. Severus had learned quickly that no one would love him so why try. Why allow himself the illusion just to have it ripped from him by the other person? <br /><br />When he had found out he was pregnant, he had wanted to tell Harry. He knew the boy wanted a family, he knew the boy would have accepted the child, probably a lot easier than he had but Harry had gone. None of his friends knew where, just that he was traveling and was only contacting them occasionally to let them know he was still alive. By the time Harry had returned, Severus had been settled in his new home, happy with his daughter and he had never looked back. Not until now. <br /><br />He took out the book he had been reading to his daughter. It was her favourite. The Tales of Beedle the Bard. Severus had always found it amusing that his daughter loved The Tale of the Three Brothers considering her father was the one true keeper of all the Deathly Hallows. He settled down to reading it aloud for her. <br /><br />It could have been minutes, it could have been hours but his reading was finally interrupted by Harry. Severus put the book down as he turned to look at Harry. He wish he hadn't. Harry looked defeated.<br /><br />"I know what's wrong with our daughter." Harry told the Potions Master, once he had shut the door. Severus stood at his words.<br /><br />"Our? You know?" He asked, looking between the girl on the bed and the man he had asked to heal her.<br /><br />"I suspected. You just confirmed it. I can't . . . I can't deal with that right now. She's dying, Severus. There is nothing we can do." Harry told the parent of his patient, because if he thought of them any differently he would die inside.<br /><br />"How? Why?" Severus asked, collapsing back into the chair. His very breath stolen from him by Harry's words.<br /><br />"She was cursed. The Vastentas Curse. Someone close to you or to her had to have placed it on her."<br /><br />"To get back at me." Severus whispered. "No one knows who we are." <br /><br />"Someone does."<br /><br />"There has to be something. Some way." Severus tried, looking back at his daughter watching her chest rise and fall. Each breath possibly being her last.<br /><br />"The curse can only be stopped by the one who cast it, but only up to a certain point. Mia's past that point. The curse has done too much damage, progressed too far. Even if her murderer was found and convinced to lift the curse it won't help now." Harry told him, he wouldn't allow himself to feel it, he couldn't it would kill him. <br /><br />"So what? We wait for her to die?" Severus snarled angrily.<br /><br />"Take her home. Surround her with the things she loves and be with her. Once the stasis charm is off she . . ."<br /><br />"No! I won't accept this. I can't accept this. You have saved so many, helped so many. Save her, help her. Please" Severus begged, falling to his knees beside Mia's bed.<br /><br />"I can't." Harry told him, tears starting to flow unwanted down his cheek. No matter how much he tried to remain professional, see them as his patient and her parent it wasn't the truth. He was losing a daughter he never knew he had, destroying a person he had tried for a year to forget he wanted.<br /><br />"You are the Master of Death, Harry. Save her. Save your own flesh and blood." Severus pleaded. He was a proud man, a strong man but at that moment, in that second he was neither he was a desperate father pleading with the grim reaper to leave his daughter with him. "I'll do anything, Harry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I did when you was at school, for keeping her from you but please. Please. I beg of you don't let her be taken."<br /><br />"Don't do that. Don't put this on me." Harry's voice low and dangerous. "Don't you dare put this on me. If she had been brought in sooner, maybe we could have helped. But there is nothing we can do."<br /><br />"I know it's my fault. Merlin, do I know it but I'm not asking you as a healer. I'm asking you as the Master of the Hallows. Save her." Severus told him, standing and turning to the man he had rejected all those years ago. Harry looked at the man, a desperate father wishing for a miracle.<br /><br />"I don't have any mystical powers. I can't stop death, Severus." <br /><br />"You don't even know what you're capable of. Why do you think she has survived this long? Why do you think you have the highest and quickest recovery rate? Think of every death that has happened to your patients was it not the best for them? You have had power over your patient's life and death ever since you controlled all the Hallows. All I am asking is for you not to give up on her. I will help you to find a way to bring her back to us, please don't give up on her. If she dies, I will follow her I can't live without her. Give me a chance to bring her back to me. To us." Severus grabbed Harry by the shoulders needing the man to believe him.<br /><br />Harry looked from the man to the child. He wanted to give them a chance but he couldn't see how he could keep her alive. Sure his stasis charm was working so far . . .<br /><br />"The charms failed" Harry shouted over the alarm that let him know his patients heart had stopped. "We're losing her."<br /><br />Chapter Six<br /><br />Severus had never been a religious man, very few of their world were but he prayed. My god did he pray. He prayed to God, Merlin, Buddha, and Krishna even to the man currently in the room with his daughter and other medi-staff trying to bring her back from the reaper. <br /><br />He watched through the window, as the man he thought he loved did what he did best. He couldn't hear him but he saw him barking orders at the others, directing them into doing what they could do to bring her back to him. It was a wonder to watch but Severus couldn't be amazed at the synchronicity of it all he was terrified.<br /><br />He watched as the cast spell after spell over his daughter, magicked potions into her lifeless body, an array of colour lit the room, the staff, his daughter and the equipment. It could almost be beautiful if his daughter wasn't fading away in front of him. He couldn't breathe, he wouldn't take a breath until she did, his body wouldn't accept the air around him. His chest was tightening, his heart being ripped from his chest with every excruciatingly long second that passed without any change. <br /><br />He watched as the team, one by one stopped working. Until it was only Harry, it wasn't enough. It was never going to be enough. He had never deserved to have his daughter, he had never deserved the happiness his daughter had brought into his life the moment she took her first breath. <br /><br />He watched as Harry shouted at the other staff but they refused to work. One even went so far as to take Harrys wand from him. Severus broke then, he ran into the room.<br /><br />"You can't give up." He shouted at the staff but they all just looked at him sadly. All, that is, but Harry who was glaring at the medi-witch that had confiscated his wand.<br /><br />"There is nothing more we can do. She has gone and to keep on trying is not fair on her." One of them said, Severus all but snarled, tears streaming down his face. He went to his daughter then. Pulling her close to him, resting her lifeless face against his chest.<br /><br />"Come back to me, angel. Please, please don't leave me. I can't live without you, my gift. I can't . . . " he sobbed in earnest, smelling her hair, tears dampening the dark, curvy locks. He rocked her as he cried and begged, unaware of everyone leaving until Harry came over and rested a hand on his shoulder.<br /><br />Severus looked up then, he saw tear tracks running down his ex-students face. He saw red then. He lay Mia down on the bed softly, she could have just been sleeping if it hadn't been for the lack of movement at her chest. He turned on the father of his daughter.<br /><br />"You could have done something." Severus said in a low dangerous tone, as if afraid his ensuing rage would wake his eternally sleeping daughter. He lunched for Harry grabbing him by his collar and snarling in his face. "You could have saved her."<br /><br />"I tried, Severus. I'm not the Master of Death. I can't save them if it's their time." Harry said tiredly, he was emotionally, physically and magically drained.<br /><br />"Bull shit. You could have brought her back to me, to us." Severus shook him. "Why didn't you? What did I do that was so bad you took my daughter from me? You killed me, Harry Potter. I'm dead without her." He bellowed, before hitting the man. Harry just looked at him in shock, besides the Pensieve incident he had never seen Severus lose his temper and never with physical violence. Severus looked just as shocked and without so much as a warning he ran from the room.<br /><br />Harry just watch him leave again. <br /><br />-x-x-x-x-x-<br /><br />Severus walked the corridors. He couldn't believe he had resorted to his own fathers methods of releasing his anger. He had always prided himself on his use of cutting words and fierce tones to convey his rage, it was beyond comprehension that he had resorted to his hands in a time he should be spending with his daughter before her body would be taken from him forever.<br /><br />He felt the rage leave his body, leaving him weary and tired as he walked. He didn't know how long he walked for, he took in nothing of his surroundings, but he eventually found himself back at the doors of Zaphiel Ward. He pushed them open and walked through the ward. It seemed darker, sadder and even the children had stopped their joyous laughter. <br /><br />He reached his daughter's death chamber and stepped inside. He was surprised to see Harry still there, sat on his daughters bed crying quietly. The young man seemed to sense the Potion Masters presence.<br /><br />"I wish I could have brought her back for you. I wish I could have known her." Harry said tears thickening his voice. He never looked up from the girl with the dark, wavy hair. "You deserve to be happy Severus, you more than most. I watch parents come in with children time and again, and on rare occasions there are parents I wish I could take their children off them. I know they are the reason their child is lay in a bed crying in pain, but their child lives and they take them home just to return them to our care when their rage overtakes them again." Harry was quiet.<br /><br />"I wish I could have given her back to you." His tears were free falling now, onto the hand he held as his other hand stroked through the soft locks. "I have saved everyone, died myself to accomplish it. I would die again if I thought it would get her to open her eyes, if I thought for a second I could see her smile just once. All I ever wanted in this world was a family, was you, and just as I discover I could have those things it's ripped from me, from us." He was becoming angry the longer he spoke. <br /><br />"We must have been evil in our past lives. To deserve the lives we have had we must have been pure evil and this is our punishment." Harry practically growled.<br /><br />Severus could feel his power rising with his anger, it tingled his skin, sent adrenaline coursing through his veins. "We did nothing to deserve this." Severus answered sadly.<br /><br />"Then why? Why bring her into my life to snatch her away? Why give you eight years to finally form an attachment with someone again after my mother just to lose her as well? Why make us do all the things we have done and suffer all we have suffered, just to take the last bit of sunshine from our lives?" Harry was furious now, the fates had always been bastards to him but now they had taken an innocent life, they had pushed him too far. After everything, he had done for the Wizarding World, that they had both done they couldn't even keep the reward they more than deserved. <br /><br />He felt his powers rising, felt his anger and his love fuel its fire. It had been along time since he had felt his power breach his internal dams but now it decimated them. He felt winds surround the three of them. Heard the glass blow out the frames and the resulting screams from staff and patients from the ward. He could smell the magic sizzling through the air burning the very atoms that created everything.<br /><br />"Harry!" Severus shouted, as the wind formed a barrier around his daughter and the man who should have shared their life. "Harry stop!" Then he screamed as he watched his daughter burst into flames on the bed. The only thing containing the heat was the barrier formed by the dense air around her. Harrys hair whipped around his head by the currents of air in the bubble but the fire didn't touch him. He seemed to be in trance now.<br /><br />Severus screamed again, scared he would lose them both to the fire. Then everything stopped. Silence descended on them as the wind ceased and the flames vanished leaving nothing but a pile of ash where his daughter had been. Harry had slumped and Severus darted forward to stop the man falling to the floor. Once he had Harry laid out, he took a breath to shout for help when he heard something.<br /><br />A sound he hadn't heard in nearly eight years. His daughter gurgling. He jumped up so quick he went dizzy but he didn't care. He looked on bed for the source of the gurgle and couldn't believe what he saw. In amongst the ash, was a newborn. Soft tufts of dark hair, rested on flushed skin. He picked up the baby. The ash falling from her skin as though it had never been.<br /><br />He looked her over, she was the same as the day she had been born to him. Except for the slight smoky smell to her baby soft skin and a tiny birthmark on the small of her back. A small red flame resting on the skin over her coccyx. He had gotten his wish, he had got her back. He looked in shock as the noise of the ward started to filter back into his mind. Mia had been his wartime gift, but she had been reborn. They had been given a second chance. Born from the ashes, she was their little Phoenix.<br /><br />Epilogue <br /><br />"Happy birthday to you." Came the chorus of voices around the child and her parents "Happy birthday to you." She smiled happily, her parents beaming as they sung along. "Happy birthday to Aurora. Happy birthday to you." <br /><br />Everyone cheered around them as Harry, with Aurora on his lap, tipped his head back to receive a kiss from his husband. It had been a very busy year. Between the tests on Aurora in the weeks that followed her rebirth, the explanations and news reports that followed, breaking the news to family and organising the logistics of looking after a newborn, like taking a break from work to look after Aurora and loving every minute of his second chance, the year had vanished.<br /><br />It had been busy, exhausting and an emotional roller coaster but Harry wouldn't change a minute of it. He still was saddened about the loss of Mia, she would forever be in his heart and he knew Severus still mourned her death greatly. Harry had even managed to get him to see a counsellor to talk everything through with. <br /><br />In the weeks that followed Mia/Aurora's rebirth, they had stayed in the hospital together with Aurora while tests were taken and retaken. Nothing had been found, as far as magic and medicine were concerned Aurora was a perfectly healthy new born baby girl. Severus had taught Harry how to care for her and had loved teaching the young man and sharing the experience he had gained through raising Mia, but there had been moments he hadn't even been able to look at Aurora.<br /><br /> He knew that she was the same child, but he had lost Mia and it had been hard on him. He felt angry both at Harry and Aurora for the loss of Mia to the point he had disappeared for a couple of days at the end of the first week, but he had come back and, while even up to today he still zoned out and sought out solitude on occasion, he hadn't left again. <br /><br />"Happy birthday Aurora." Harry smiled as she managed to grab at her cake and rip a chunk off it. "Hey cheeky girl, you have to share." He laughed.<br /><br />"Leave her be, it is her birthday after all." Severus smiled, but Harry could see the sadness in his eyes. They had decided to treat Aurora like a separate child. They mourned Mia and rejoiced in Aurora, unfortunately that meant that Mia's death day would forever shadow Auroras birthday. They still hadn't decided how they would broach the subject of Mia with Aurora as she grew. They knew the easiest would be to explain her previous incarnation as her older sister, but she was identical because Aurora was Mia. They had time to think about it, and they did often. <br /><br />"Here you go then, you can have the cake monster." Harry laughed back passing Aurora up to her father. Severus looked disgusted but the smile in his eyes took the edge off the expression. <br /><br />"Nobody would have thought Daddy used to deal with messy children all day everyday. " Severus told his daughter playfully. He looked around the room in wonder at the people that were here to celebrate his little Phoenix birthday. It was so different to Mia's first. That had been a quiet affair. Just the two of them playing with a couple of toys Severus had bought her as presents, eating all her favourite foods, before reading her a story from the book he had bought her for her birthday 'The Tales of Beedle the Bard' as she fell asleep at the end of relaxing birthday. <br /><br />Tonight, Aurora will be passing out exhausted from all the excitement. He cleaned her hands as he watched Harry move over to some of his co-workers. Harry would be returning to work in a few more months, and they were still working out the logistics of that change. Molly came over to him.<br /><br />"What a difference a year makes." She smiled holding out her hands to take the birthday girl. Severus passed his daughter to her honorary grandmother and looked around the room. He couldn't believe the family he had gained in the year. He looked at his stunning husband, the dad of his children, because Mia and Aurora were different children. He had suffered the pain of a loss no parent should ever go through but from his daughter's death Aurora had been reborn, his relationship with Harry had been reborn and he himself had been reborn.<br /><br />He had realised his time on this earth was precious, every minute was a minute to be savoured and enjoyed.<br /><br />"Yes, it's about time we both made up for lost time." Severus smiled, knowing that's exactly what they would do.<br /><br />The End<br /><br /><a href="http://snarryglompfest.livejournal.com/30690.html">COMMENT BACK AT LIVEJOURNAL</a><br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarryglompfest&ditemid=2517" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentstag:dreamwidth.org,2013-03-03:1978740:2279Glomp for 0idontknow02014-02-26T00:38:12Z2014-02-26T05:24:05Zpublic0<b>Title: Sunrise Never Fails.</b><br /><b>Author:</b> Anonymous<br /><b>Prompt: </b>One.<br /><b>Other pairings/threesome: </b>None.<br /><b>Rating:</b> NC17<br /><b>Word Count: </b>+/ 20K<br /><b>Content/Warning(s):</b>Angst. Bottom!Severus.<br /><b>Beta:</b> Special thanks should be given to <b><font color="”#0000A0”"> <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixPixie">PhoenixPixie</a></font></b> who betaed this story for the benefit of us all. :D<br /><b>Summary: </b>Severus Snape has spent so long waiting for the sunrise that he's forgotten the fact that it never fails to arrive... <br /><b>A/N1: </b>The title of this story comes from the poem <b><font color="”#0000A0”"> <a href="http://www.poeticous.com/poets/celiathaxter/poems/thesunriseneverfailedusyet">'Sunrise Never Failed Us Yet </a></font></b> by Celia Thaxter.<br /><b>A/N2: </b>Dear recipient, you asked for a PostWar fic featuring a Bottom!Severus, a pining, protective!Harry and a concerned!Severus with a side dish of Harry in stockings. Imust confess that this particular combination gave me a fair amount of trouble, but I sincerely hope you enjoy the end result as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you for being a part of our wonderful ship. *Glomps you* :D<br /><br /> <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <p><b><big>Sunrise Never Fails.</big></b></p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><b><i>Daylight... I must wait for the sunrise.</i></b><br /><br /><b><i>I must think of a new life, and I mustn't give in...</i></b><br /><br /> <br /><br /><b><i>When the dawn comes... tonight will be a memory too,</i></b><br /><br /><b><i>and a new day will begin...</i></b><br /><br /> <br /><br /> <center><b><i><big>CATS</big> Memory Lyrics</i></b><br /><br /></center><br /><br /> <br /><br /> <br /><br /><br><b><center>(~*~)(~*~)(~*~)</center></b></br><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus Snape twitched slightly as the first ray of sunlight painted the fragile skin on the inside of his eyelids with a glowing pink color. <br /><br />He shifted minutely, reluctant to abandon the peacefulness of his dreams, but the light kept disturbing him, trying to drag him away from his restful slumber. <br />His mind began to lose the soothing grogginess of sleep and he blinked awake.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>His dark eyes opened a little, focusing sluggishly on the dancing dustdevils that floated, like goldencoated fairy dust, on the single beam of bright sunshine just above his head. <br /><br />He smiled instinctively, lifting his longfingered hand upwards in a futile attempt to take hold of that delicate beauty. <br /><br />His skin turned golden in the light and dust danced across his slightly curled fingers as he turned them around gently, trying to catch the warm sunlight with his hand.<br /><br /></p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Good morning, Severus.” That softly whispered greeting shattered his sleepy contentment and he jerked upwards into a sitting position. <br /><br />Reality intruded abruptly into his peaceful, sunlit world as he became aware of exactly where he was, and with whom.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>It took the thoroughly unwelcome awareness that he was still stuck in the infirmary with his annoying DADA colleague less than a second to sour his mood completely, so by the time he grunted a distinctly unenthusiastic response to Potter's greeting, Severus was rigid like a board in his chair and frowning darkly at the thick, warm blanket that someone had dared to wrap around his body.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Looking around, he discovered that Poppy hadn't arrived yet and the deeply uncomfortable notion that he owed the small charity of that blanket to his Gryffindor counterpart made him flush bright red with shamed vulnerability.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He fought his instinctive desire to jump away from the chair on which he'd obviously fallen asleep and proceeded to come to his feet with as much dignity as he could possibly muster in the circumstances.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>His mind reeled with horrified discomfort as he stepped as far away from that chair and that blanket as he possibly could. ;Distancing himself from the confused professor who stood right beside it, in what must have been Potter's unnerving attempt to... <i>spy</i>... on him unnoticed.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Shivering with increasing agitation he walked over to the foot of the bed he'd been guarding all night long and looked thoughtfully at the sleeping face of the young boy who occupied it.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He'd been up all night trying to deal with the aggravating consequences of a clandestine magical duel between one of his seven year students and a dratted Gryffindor bully. <br /><br />The fact that his Slytherin had not only lost the match, but also ended up forcing him to interact with the recently appointed Gryffindor Head of House, in an effort to sort out the aftermath of the situation, only increased Severus' displeasure with the ghastly ordeal.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He'd been brewing a countering potion for the rather unexpected effects of a seriously botched spell until half past three in the morning, and had come directly here to administer the results of his labors to his confined student.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He remembered dismissing Poppy's help with a brusque gesture, sending her straight to bed with the reassurance that he planned to stay around long enough to monitor the effects of the potion.  ;He must have been so tired that he'd fallen asleep on the infirmary's chair, but that <br />couldn't explain why on Earth he'd ended up waking to the infuriating indignity of being the focus of Potter's thoughtful scrutiny.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“What are you doing here, Potter? I refuse to allow you the chance of laying all the blame for this unfortunate situation at Mr. Wilson's door. I'll fight you, tooth and nail, if you even try it. We both know that your despicable Mr. Edgar has been adamantly picking on this student for well over three months already.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Carl is claiming that he was the challenged party, Severus. I approached him again this morning in an effort to find out what happened, but he's sticking to his version of events. There's nothing else I can do at this point.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“He is lying. I won't rest until that brat gets expelled over this!”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“You can't prove anything. He's accusing Josh of stealing one of his books. He told me that's the reason why he approached him in the first place. Heated words were exchanged, accusations flew around, and before he knew it he'd been challenged to a duel. <br /><br /><br />"It was a matter of pride, Severus. A Slytherin had challenged him and he couldn't let it go. It's not his fault that he's gifted in Defense.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus gritted his teeth. The conflict between these two students had been worrying him for some time now, but his every attempt to make Potter see reason always ended in <br />frustration. He was ashamed of his own inability to find proof of his claims. He knew that there was something unpleasant going on here but, as long as Josh Wilson refused to confide in him and accuse his Gryffindor bully of direct wrongdoing, there was precious little anyone could do.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>His mind flashed back to about a million and one memories of his own wretched adolescence between these very same walls, and he shivered with seething indignation. <br /><br />His inability to put an end to the intolerable situation riled him something fierce...</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“So it's business as usual as far as you are concerned. Isn't it, Potter? You've come all this way to tell me that your precious lion is going to walk away scotfree once again. I hope you don't expect gratitude from me.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“This is not my fault, Severus.” His heart hammered unpleasantly when Potter's warm hand attempted to curl reassuringly around his left shoulder and he shook the touch off with a hastily taken step backwards.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Do not touch me!” He growled, peeved beyond reason by the sudden realization that he'd been so focused in his own bitter recollections that he hadn't heard the dratted man approach him.<br /><br /></p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Potter's face turned dead serious. Those green eyes flashed with the kind of stubborn resolution that annoyed him further as the Gryffindor lifted both hands, palm upwards, in the space between them. <br /><br /><br />Exposing them to Severus' scrutiny in a clearly soothing motion that he found deeply offensive.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I'm not doing anything to you.  ;Look: I'm unarmed.  ;I've got no intention of either harming you or causing you any more distress, Severus.  ;Why can't you accept a simple offer of comfort?</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I get that I'm not helping you at all, but you've got to give me some credit.  ;I'm aware that Carl Edgar isn't as innocent as he claims to be, but my hands are as tied as yours.  ;Why can't you see that we aren't fighting this situation on opposing sides? ;We are both equally <br />frustrated, equally eager to put an end to whatever the hell is going on between these two.<br /><br />"We should be working together, instead of fighting constantly between us.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I'm not listening to this!” He growled, turning around with the intention of leaving immediately, but was prevented from doing so by the return of Potter's offensive touch.<br /><br /> ;Golden digits grabbed his elbow this time, tightening around his limb with enough strength to halt him in his tracks, forcing him to remain in the room against his will.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Look, I know you still see me as an arrogant, little brat.  ;I know that you want me to stay as far away from Hogwarts as physically possible, but I'm here now and we have to find a way of working together.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Minerva is really worried about our inability to manage a civil conversation and the virulence of your personal dislike towards me is completely unprofessional.  ;You're making everything harder than it has to be, for Merlin's sake!”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus glared at the bold fingers keeping hold of his person and his high cheekbones acquired the kind of temperfueled color that turned his usually pale complexion into a frightening rendition of livid fury.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I refuse to apologize for my opinion on the matter.  ;You may be the adored Savior of the Wizarding World but you are far too young to teach wideeyed children, and nothing will dissuade me to the contrary.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“The safety of a classroom full of magical students shouldn't be put in the hands of a thoughtless, bumbling youth.  ;You shouldn't be here, Potter.  ; You should be out there, finding out what the real world feels like, instead of hiding away from life between these walls.  ;Teaching requires the kind of committed dedication that you are way too immature to understand properly.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Potter's grip on his elbow softened as the man began to rub up and down his arm in a seemingly unconscious offer of soothing comfort.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I know you don't want me here, but that's a battle you've already lost, Severus.  ;Why can't you give me a bloody chance to show you how wrong you are about me?  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I'm willing to work with you, willing let the past go in order to be granted the opportunity of getting to know the real you better. ;Why is it so hard for you to give up this constant fighting?  ;We aren't enemies any more.  ;We never really were.  ;I respect you very deeply and I'd welcome the first chance you give me to put our differences behind us.<br /><br />"I want us to be friends.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus' mind whirled with the appalled realization of what the dratted brat was trying to do.<br /><br /> ;It had been so long since the last time someone had even thought of buttering him up that he'd forgotten how... shamefully easy... it could be for a man who'd been as utterly devoid of genuine affection as he'd always been to fall for that kind of selfserving trickery.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Friendship can't be bought with an unrequested blanket and a veritable myriad of unwanted little touches, Professor Potter. ;Friendship is a treasure that has to be first fought for and then fiercely protected in order for you to earn the slightest right to claim its warm comfort.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I have no desire to invest my precious time on the futile endeavor of attempting to reach such connection with you.  ;Keep both your hands and your pleas for attention to yourself, I beg you.  ;I have neither the need nor the actual desire for our association to expand beyond the minimal requirements of our similar duties towards the students of Hogwarts.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Potter's hand froze on his arm and those green eyes that he'd tried to forget without much luck since he discovered the depths of his inappropriate... feelings... towards the other man flashed with inexplicable pain.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“What if <i>I</i> have the need to grow closer to you, Severus?  ;What would you do if I told you that you are hurting me more than you probably realize with this intractable attitude? What would you say if I told you that I've been guarding your sleep for the last three hours?  ;How would you react if I confessed that watching you sleep filled me with peaceful joy?”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus gasped, truly hurt by the unforgivable cruelty of that clearly manipulating lie, and took a single step backwards.  ;His head jerked to the side lest he show the vulnerability of his own distressed emotions before his enemy.  ;He didn't know how Potter had learned about his inappropriate crush, but he was loath to give the bloody bastard a chance to play sick games with him.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Do not speak to me thus, Potter!  ;Never, ever, dare to imply that I...  ;that you...  ;There's no link between us.  ;There's nothing uniting us beyond professional courtesy.  ;I will not be ridiculed by the likes of you.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Potter turned ghostly pale and his eyes became twin pools of emerald misery that Severus couldn't bear to look upon.  ; </p><br /><br /> <br /><br />“Why?  ;Why are you so harsh with me?  ;Why should my care bring you ridicule?  ;There is no shame in being adored, Severus.”<br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He blinked in outraged disbelief and a veritable knot of wounded pride tightened around his churning gut, settling in the pit of his stomach like a dreadful rock of burningcold ice.  ;He couldn't believe the boy could be so cruel, couldn't understand what sort of twisted maliciousness could be driving the Gryffindor to torture him like this.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“There is shame in everything, Potter.  ;There is shame in loving those who were never meant for us and there is also shame in being loved by the wrong person, for the wrong reasons.  ;There is shame in choosing one's desires unwisely, therefore, opening one's soul to the hatefilled whims of one's old enemies.  ;There is shame in wanting what we can never have and in daring to even dream we can posses it.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Adoration may be a weakness of the heart, but it is also a terrible weapon.  ;It is the perfect tool to destroy those who have never felt its blessing, but would kill and die to have it touch their souls and I will never let <i>you</i> use it to harm <i>me.</i>”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br><b><center>(~*~)(~*~)(~*~)</center></b></br><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>After that ghastly encounter in the infirmary Severus' usual reluctance to interact with Potter tripled.  ;He refused to be dragged into conversation with the man, no matter how hard the Gryffindor tried to force him to do so, and avoided eating his meals at the High Table.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He never imagined that anyone would bother to challenge him on the matter, until Minerva called him to her office for a cup of tea.  ;He was not only shocked to find Potter sitting on one of the twin chairs that faced the Headmistress' desk, but also utterly distraught to find himself on the receiving end of a very disappointed rant about the worrying message that his constant absence from the teacher's table was supposedly sending out to the student body.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>To his neverending chagrin, he was asked, pointblank, if there was some sort of problem between himself and Potter that she should know about and was forced to sit there: staring, wide eyed, directly into her stern gaze while a sickened sort of dread crushed his windpipe into ashamed silence.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I...” He couldn't even begin to imagine what sort of tales Potter must have been telling her about him and, therefore, had no actual clue about what kind of explanation would serve him best to diffuse the situation.  ;His head turned to glare at Potter with vicious venom and, finding himself on the receiving end of the boy's concerned look, ended up lowering his gaze towards the floor with unnerved confusion.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Harry swears that there is nothing wrong between the two of you, Severus.  ;But my own eyes tell me that he is trying to protect you.  ;I don't understand the reasons behind your pointed dislike of a man who regularly goes out of his way to treat you with respect and, frankly, I'm starting to fear that allowing you the time and privacy you need to sort out this situation has been a mistake on my part.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Minerva...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I won't have your personal vendetta against Harry create even more problems between the Gryffindors and Slytherins in this school, Severus.  ;Your recent confinement to your chambers may have aided you in ignoring what is happening, but the truth is that the tension between your two houses is currently at an alltime high.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“A worryingly high number of incidents have been reported directly to me in the last few weeks and only the founders know what else is going on behind our backs.  ;The animosity between Gryffindors and Slytherins is starting to become dangerous and I blame the current deterioration of their former... truce... on the fact that the children have started to perceive your damaging dislike of one another.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus gaped at her, utterly flummoxed by the ridiculous nature of her claims.  ;</p> <br /><br /> <br /><br />“That is... preposterous, Minerva!  ;The rivalry between Slytherins and Gryffindors dates all the way back to the Founders.  ;You can't possibly accuse me of starting it without sounding... deranged.”<br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I'm not accusing you of anything, Severus.  ;I'm telling you that your snakes and Harry's lions are taking sides in your little personal feud.  ;Their usual clashes have become more vicious recently and this worrisome shift in their behavior happens to have coincided with the last major clash between the two of you.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I know you were unhappy with my ruling on the WilsonEdgar situation.  ;But I'm far more responsible for that than Harry ever was.  ;He tried to convince me to at least place Mr. Edgar on probation.  ;It's not his fault that you weren't able to prove your claims of bullying.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I have heard all that already, Minerva.  ;I'm certain that the speech you gave me at the time regarding Mr. Potter's tireless attempts to act with saintly fairness hasn't changed all that much since I endured it last.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I'm perfectly willing to treat you like a child if you continue to behave like one, Severus Snape!” Minerva snapped, glaring at him disapprovingly through the small lenses of her spectacles.  ; “I'm done with all this nonsense.  ;I demand you sort out whatever on Earth is wrong between the two of you, or I shall suspend you both from your duties until further notice.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He looked at her with perfectly appalled disbelief.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Minerva, you can't....”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Don't you dare to 'Minerva' me, young man!  ;I'm desperately holding onto my last shred of patience.  ;I don't want to force your hand, Severus, but this has honestly gone far enough.  ;Harry doesn't deserve your hatred any more than you deserve the indignity of having the students label you the bad guy in all of your disputes.  ;Your dislike of one another is unprofessional.  ;It's both heartbreaking to see and thoroughly unfounded.  ;Neither of you should have to endure a single second of it, for Merlin's sake!”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“You can't force me to like Potter, Minerva, just as you can't force him to accept me.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“His acceptance of you isn't the issue here.  ;Harry accepted you ages ago, Severus.  ;You are just too blind to see it.  ;I know this is none of my business, but a few months ago something happened to you, my friend.  ;Something that forced Harry to make a decision I strongly disapproved of at the time...</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“He brought your unconscious body to the infirmary one Sunday morning, just after dawn, and refused to let Poppy undo something that you should have never done to yourself.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus frowned, utterly lost by the unexpected turn the conversation had taken.  ;</p> <br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I haven't been in the infirmary since the war, Headmistress.  ;You know perfectly well that I prefer to tend to my own health whenever possible.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“This happened the morning after the anniversary of Albus' death.  ;You had been drinking heavily and ended up knocking yourself out with a selfinflicted spell, and before you dare to accuse Harry of having attacked you, himself, let me tell you that I've got actual proof of what happened.  ;I cast <i>Priori Incantatem</i> on your wand, Severus, and I'm willing to show you that particular memory.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus ignored her offer for the moment, too busy attempting to bring his hazy recollection of that morning into focus and panicking at his inexplicable inability to do so.  ;He frowned with agitation, wondering why he couldn't recall anything that happened between the moment he retired to his chambers after dinner that night and lunchtime the next day...</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“What spell did I cast?  ;Why can't I remember any of this?”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Because you...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Potter gasped rather noisily and shifted abruptly forwards in his chair, interrupting the headmistress so rudely that Severus gritted his teeth and had to count all the way to sixty three in order to stop himself from throttling the little miscreant.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Don't!  ;I'll do everything you want, Minerva. <i>Anything.</i>  ;Just...  ;don't tell him what happened, please, I'm begging you...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Her stern gaze visibly softened, but she smiled ruefully at her pet lion and shook her head in denial of whatever favor the man was so shamelessly requesting.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I'm sorry, Harry.  ;I know you disagree with me on this matter, and I understand that this shouldn't be my decision, but it's been <i>months </i>already.  ;Things will never get better unless you bring this out into the open once and for all.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Don't!  ;Just...  ;don't, please.  ;You have no idea of how distressed he was...  ;This is going to hurt him very deeply, Minerva.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus was becoming more bewildered by the second.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“What on Earth are you two talking about?  ;I demand to be informed of whatever happened to me at once!  ;This involves my health.  ;I can't believe you've contrived to hide something that was serious enough to put me in the infirmary.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Clearly panicked green eyes turned towards him.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Don't do this!  ;You don't really want to know what happened, Severus.  ;You've got to trust me right now, please...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“But I don't, Potter.  ;I don’t trust you and you've just admitted that you've been lying to my face for months.  ;Why did I end up in the infirmary?  ;What spell did I cast?  ;Why were you the first person to come across me, if it happened the morning after the anniversary of Albus' death?  ;I remember enough of that night to recall that I spent the entire evening alone in my rooms, drowning my guilt in Firewhiskey.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“You spent the evening alone, Severus, but not the night.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He was so startled by that perfectly ridiculous claim that he turned a pair of utterly bewildered dark eyes on her. </p> <br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“That is an abominable falsehood.  ;I never left the castle.  ;I was in no state to leave.  ;I must have drank...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“An entire crate of Firewhiskey by the time Harry arrived or so he explained to us.  ;Poppy doublechecked your blood for alcohol poisoning at the time and came to the conclusion that you had been exposed to a dangerous amount of alcohol.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>His heart froze and his breath halted at the awful implications of her words.  ;He remembered feeling maudlin and utterly crushed by guilt for his role in Albus' death all through that day.  ;He remembered dismissing the couple of Gryffindor dunderheads he had for detention early that evening, in order to return to the privacy of his rooms and... mope... in peace.  ;He remembered the awful sense of desolation that had led him to unearth that old crate of the fine Firewhiskey that Draco had sent over a few years ago.  ;He also remembered his plan of drinking himself to sleep, but he could not remember anything after that.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Are you implying that I had some sort of drunken brawl with Potter?  ;What did I do?  ;Seek him out in alcoholinduced rage and challenge him to a duel?  ;Did I cast my own offensive spell on myself by accident?” He looked straight at Potter's deadly pale face, trying to imagine the ghastly scene as it unfolded.  ;But all he could see were those pleading emerald eyes looking back at him with something so close to... pity... that he couldn't bear the sight of it.  ;“This is so humiliating...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Severus, don't...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Potter tried to say something, but Minerva spoke firmly above his shaking voice.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br />“You may have been blind drunk at the time, Severus, but you were still yourself.  ;You do not make mistakes while dueling, my friend.  ;You've never cast a hex over anyone or anything in error.  ;You meant to cast what you did, precisely what you did.  ;We are all pretty certain about that.”<br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>His mind tried to come to terms with this truly worrying concept. He couldn't believe that he had turned his wand upon himself on purpose, and in front of Potter, no less.  ;It was unthinkable.  ;Shameful.  ;Utterly cowardly.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“What spell did I cast?”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Please, don't do this, Minerva!”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Potter's shout was half order, half desperate plea.  ;Those green eyes had brightened with unshed tears that were making their owner's lovely face look beyond distressed.  ;He was trembling like a leaf.  ;He was wideeyed and clearly agitated.  ;He looked like the very picture of emotional devastation come to life and Severus couldn't bear the idea of never finding out what could possibly frighten the bravest of all lions so much.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“What.  ;Spell.  ;Did.  ;I.  ;Cast, Mr. Potter?”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“<i>Obliviate</i>.  ;You turned your wand on yourself so fast that I couldn't reach you in time, Severus.  ;You... you <i>Obliviated</i> yourself because you couldn't cope with the idea that we...”  ;Potter's wavering explanation came to a jarring halt at that point, allowing the most awful silence to fill the room with a heavy and unbearable tension.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>The Gryffindor looked wounded beyond words.  ;His eyes shone brighter than jewels and a single, forlorn tear began to roll down the delicate skin of a slowly blushing cheek.  ;Severus' chest clenched with flustered discomfort.  ;He couldn't cope with Potter's obvious distress for much longer and he knew himself well enough to realize that, now that he was aware of the fact that something he couldn't remember had happened to him, he wouldn't be able to walk away from this room without knowing the full story.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“We <i>what</i>, Potter?  ;What could we have possibly been doing that would lead me to act in such a way?  ;<i> SelfObliviation</i> is dangerous.  ;It is the single, most foolish decision that anyone can make and I sincerely doubt that I have ever been crazy enough to contemplate it.  ;This ridiculous story makes no sense whatsoever!”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“We slept together, Severus.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Those four words nailed him to the spot.  ;They drowned every single one of his senses under a thick layer of icy shame that he was utterly unable to shatter.  ;His eyes widened for a fraction of a second before narrowing dangerously.  ;He became rigid and distant in a single heartbeat, becoming as motionless as stone while his every thought focused on a single, awful notion: </p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He.  ;Had.  ;Slept.  ;With.  ;Potter.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br />They had been physically intimate.  ;That beautiful emerald gaze had seen him bare.  ;Potter had seen him.  ;All of him.  ;Naked... ;He had exposed his intolerable ugliness to the eyes of the man he...<br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“No!  ;I would have never done such thing.  ;You must be lying.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“You'll calm yourself down this instant, Severus!  ;I won't let you accuse Harry of deception after I saw the state you were in when you arrived at the hospital wing that morning.  ;It was obvious to both, Poppy and myself, that you had been indulging yourself in a night of physical excess.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I'm not trying to judge neither you nor your actions, my friend.  ;But I honestly believe that whatever feelings of... shame... led you to cast that <i>Obliviate</i> upon your person also managed to strengthen the scope of your spell, allowing it to leave behind some sort of instinctive recollection of that debacle with Harry.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“You may now be unable to remember what happened between the two of you, but your dislike for him became decidedly worse immediately after that night.  ;Your mind may have been forced to forget, but <i>you</i> didn't.  ;You've been unconsciously striving to keep Harry at arms’ length ever since, Severus.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He looked at her in horrified shock, mind abuzz with the awful knowledge that she'd been there.  ;She had heard the ghastly tale of what he'd done with Potter.  ;She had seen what he'd done to himself and had kept it from him, lied to his face about it for months on end.  ;And Poppy... She had been in on this, too.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He felt suddenly vulnerable, unpleasantly exposed and painfully betrayed.  ;He felt humiliated and savaged in equal parts.  ;He was beyond surprised, beyond horrified.  ;He felt totally and mercilessly... corralled.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Why?... <i>Why</i> did you agree to keep this shameful secret only to throw it in my face like this?  ;What have I ever done to you, Minerva, to deserve such cruel lack of pity?”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Her brown eyes filled with intolerable sorrow and he pushed himself out of his chair, unable to bear the false care of that look. ;He walked blindly towards the huge fireplace, allowing his deeply ingrained instinct to seek privacy when wounded to lead his steps towards the fastest exit.<br /><br /></p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“You can't ignore what your own heart, your every instinct, has been trying to tell you ever since that night, Severus.  ;There is something unresolved between you and Harry.  ;Something that is too powerful to be denied, even by you.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“This ridiculous feud that you've started isn't solving anything...  ;Your constant fighting is hurting both of you equally, bringing unnecessary stress into your professional interactions and <br />encouraging the children to believe that your respective houses are justified in their blind hatred of one another.  ;Your attitude is affecting the students, Severus, and I can't allow this situation to continue in good conscience.  ;The school is...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“The school?” He scorned, turning such a virulent look towards her that her words faltered as she became utterly immobile.  ;“Be careful, Minerva.  ;You are starting to sound just like Albus.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I'm sorry, Severus, but this had to be done.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>His fingertips pinched a smidgen of Floo Powder, even as he forced his throat to unknot long enough for him to emit a single bark of mirthless laughter.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Of course it had to be done, Headmistress.  ;We all know that I have never been allowed to forget a single one of my mistakes.  ;Least of all if they were committed against or in front of a merry band of Gryffindors.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Congratulations to you both.  ;You have now managed to outdo your predecessors in the art of humiliating me completely.  ;Albus would have been so proud of you, Minerva, while James Potter must be laughing uproariously in hell, gleefully celebrating my misfortune with his despicable friends...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br><b><center>(~*~)(~*~)(~*~)</center></b></br><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He couldn't cope with the mortifying idea that he'd been Potter's.  ;The knowledge pierced his brain like a lethally poisoned dart, settling in the pit of his stomach like unmovable stone and constricting his throat with unpleasant embarrassment every time he was unfortunate<br />enough to find himself in the presence of the Gryffindor.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He could neither remember their encounter nor any of the circumstances that had lead directly to it, and that horrifying absence of... details... was driving him insane.  ;He wasn't a heavy drinker and, whenever he indulged in the despised habit, he tended to do so in the privacy of his rooms therefore he had no actual knowledge of exactly what type of drunk he became.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He couldn't tell if he was the “chatty” kind or not but, bearing in mind his natural reticence when sober, the possibility that his intoxicated self would tend towards having a 'lose tongue' seemed so highly likely that he became literally suffocated with shame every time he imagined how many of his precious secrets he may have unwittingly exposed to Potter's derision.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He spent the days immediately following that horrible scene in Minerva's office tormenting himself with the unbearable thought that he could have confessed the true nature of his inappropriate feelings to the Gryffindor.  ;Knowing Potter's particular inability to withstand a sob story with any sort of equanimity it was entirely possible that such confession may have led Harry to bed him out of pity.  ;For what else could have logically compelled the heroic Savior of the Wizarding World to fall into bed with an ugly thing like himself when he could have anyone he wanted?</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Sheer discomfort led him to become even more snappy with everyone around him, but he dared not dismiss Minerva's direct orders to appear more often at the Great Hall table.  ;So he had breakfast, lunch, and dinner there every single day and endured the horror of knowing himself to be the focus of Potter's increasingly agitated attention as best as he could.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Contrary to what he'd both imagined and desired, the Gryffindor Head of House insisted on occupying the seat directly to his left, as had been his custom for the last few months.  ;The man's almost challenging obstinacy in attempting to bridge a chasm that Severus himself had no<br />wish to have bridged drove him absolutely mad with the kind of frustration that he couldn't afford to show.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Minerva kept looking at him so sternly that he knew she wouldn't tolerate an outright fight between himself and Potter.  ;So he was forced to grit his teeth and endure Potter's increasingly desperate attempts to drag him into conversation with grim rigidity. ;He ate<br />every blasted meal with the kind of forced relaxation that invariably caused him acid later on and fled the Great Hall as soon as his own sense of decorum allowed him the liberty.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>It was madness.  ;All of it.  ;Things could not remain like this for any length of time and he knew it, but his deeply embedded survival instinct told him that he didn't want to tackle this situation in any shape or form.  ; </p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He needed to keep this particular dragon trapped in slumber for the rest of eternity, if he could manage the feat.  ;He needed to... forget... that he'd ever learned this awful truth.  ;He needed to bury this mistake somewhere unreachable, hide it so deeply inside his mind that the<br />mere knowledge of it wouldn't be able to affect him thus any longer.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He needed to move forward with his life, attempt to regain the dignity that he'd so recklessly sacrificed in his drunken shortsightedness and never, ever, give Potter the chance to make a fool of him again.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br><b><center>(~*~)(~*~)(~*~)</center></b></br><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>The passage of time doesn't affect Gryffindors the same way it affects everybody else.<br /><br /> ;They are unable to understand the idea of giving up.  ;They don't let things go.<br /><br /> ;They insist on... badgering... against obviously closing doors.  ;Ramming themselves relentlessly against the most impregnable defenses in such a way that they turn every hour, every day, every week that passes into an excruciatingly painful weapon that they invariably use to weaken their weary opponents.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus wanted... no, <i>needed</i>, to forget, but the blasted Savior wasn't respecting his wishes in the slightest.  ;He wasn't keeping his distance, wasn't growing discouraged, wasn't desisting at all.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Every single day the damned man managed to find him in every possible corridor or patch of grass he visited, no matter how out of the way it may have been or at what ungodly hour Severus had decided to traverse it.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>The situation became so ridiculous that he ended up convinced he was being most doggedly tracked by means of Lupin's old school map.  ;Potter tried to talk to him, attempting to explain himself again, and again, and again.  ;Until all Severus wanted to do was scream himself hoarse voicing out his categorical refusal to listen to whatever the hell the brat was so determined to say.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>The man tried to engage him in ridiculous small talk and, when each and every attempt was met with frosty silence, he resorted to the childish technique of simply standing in the middle of Severus' path, blocking off his exit for minutes on end with infuriating stubbornness while he stared directly into his eyes with that soulful green gaze...</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus was so used by now to encountering the irksome creature wherever he went that he didn't even bat an eye when he saw him lounging lazily against the wall of the seventh floor corridor one night.  ; </p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He sighed with the exhausted frustration of a man who'd been genuinely looking forwards to the end of his patrolling duties and attempted to bypass the idiot without so much as acknowledging his presence.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I would like a word with you, Severus.” Potter whispered calmly, forcing him to halt reluctantly in order to at least give the appearance of “listening” to the man.  ;He refused pointblank to give the brat an excuse to accuse him of openly disrespecting him in front of Minerva, so he took pains to always “listen” to Potter.  ;She couldn't possibly fault him for his inability to find a single thing to say in reply, could she?</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“My only regret is that you weren't sober when it happened.  ;I know I told you before that I allowed myself the foolishness of believing that everything would be all right when you woke up, but I lied to you, Severus.  ;I've been lying to you all along.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I knew you were going to freak out in the morning.  ;I knew you'd have never let me touch you if you'd been in your right mind, but I have been dreaming about you for so long that I decided to ignore the warnings of my conscience.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I'm in love with you and I... I’ve desired you so deeply, so... hopelessly... for so many years that I took the only chance you've ever given me and hoped to Godric that our physical intimacy would help me break down some of the walls you keep building between us.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus felt those words hammer him with the kind of strength that nothing the other man had said to him thus far had possessed.  ;Love... Potter had never used that word before.<br /><br /> ;His mind whirled as he attempted to reject the pitiful sense of... hope... that the single mention of that four letter word had just brought him.  ;He felt breathless and on edge.<br /><br /> ;He could not honestly believe that it was true.  ;How could it be?  ;He was nobody, while Potter... Potter was <i>everything</i>.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Silence settled around them like a suffocating blanket while Severus stood there, rooted to the spot like a mesmerized rabbit. ;He was unable to move, unable to think, unable to even breathe while one second slowly merged into the next and the Gryffindor waited for an answer that<br />he honestly couldn't bring himself to give him.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He could not force his lips to denounce the very words that described his most cherished dreams as a lie.  ;He couldn't openly refuse them, scorn them or reject them in any way.<br /><br /> ;He couldn't bring himself to... deny... them, because doing such a thing would have killed him as certainly as if he'd poisoned himself.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Severus?  ;Won’t you at least grant me the courtesy of looking me in the eye while I bare my heart to you?  ;I'm giving you the kind of weapon that my detractors would kill to possess.  ;I'm allowing you to realize how easily you could crush me right now, if you wanted.  ;You could trample each and every one of my most precious dreams under your<br />booted heel until you turn them to dust.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus’ head turned sharply around.  ;His cheeks were flushed with the deep crimson of turbulent emotions and his black eyes flashed with the kind of uncontrolled rage that would have brought old Greyback to his knees, had he been there.  ;</p><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Don't you dare repeat that claim out loud ever again.” He hissed, pinning that earnest green gaze with a look so full of scorn that Harry flinched visibly before he squared his shoulders and fixed a wavering smile upon his lips.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“The first words you speak to me in almost two months and they are nothing short of challenge.  ;Do you think your fury frightens me, Severus?  ;You know me better than that.  ;You know I won't be cowered into silence and I refuse to let you hide from the truth a single second longer:</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>”I.  ;Am.  ;In.  ;Love.  ;With.  ;You.  ; </p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>”There! I've said it, and I’ll say it again.  ;I'll say it until my voice is hoarse from shouting it out loud and you've managed to drain the very last drop of hope from my heart.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Potter...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Do you seriously believe you're more stubborn than me?  ;I've grown up fighting against insurmountable odds, my love.  ;I know how to win a war and also how to end one.  ;I'm not willing to give up on you, do you understand me?  ;You deserve better than the indignity of being allowed to become a vague, unwanted memory.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“You are a lot more than a dream that was never meant to be.  ;I won't let you become a shameful little mistake.  ;You deserve to be fiercely fought for, Severus, and I'm here to tell you that I'm planning to do exactly that.  ;You can ignore me all you want, but I'll remain<br />right here, because leaving you behind is simply... unthinkable.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus saw red.  ;He turned fully around to face the annoyingly stubborn Gryffindor and sneered for all he was worth: </p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“What could you possibly gain from such doomed course of action, Potter?  ;I refuse to engage in another petty battle with you, so if you're trying to push me into hexing you into next week to get me in trouble with Minerva you can just forget it.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“This has nothing to do with the school.  ;I'm in love with you, you, dimwitted bastard!”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Don't make me laugh, please.  ;How stupid do you think I am?  ;You've seen me at my very worst.  ;You've been witness to the most heinous acts I have ever committed.  ;There is no way you could have fallen in love with the man you know me to be.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“That's just...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“You left me to die alone in that dusty old shack and then had the actual gall of... rescuing me... from a thoroughly deserved sentence in Azkaban, by the excruciatingly humiliating method of exposing every single vulnerability of my idiotic teenage self to the scorn of wizarding society.<br /> ;Those are not the actions of a man in love.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Yes, they are! I was trying to save you.  ;I wanted the entire world to know the kind of wonderful man that you keep trying to deny you are.  ;There is nothing humiliating in loving as completely as you do, Severus.  ;You shouldn't have been forced to stand trial in the first place and I wanted...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“You wanted to destroy me.  ;You tried to ruin my hardearned reputation by turning me into a pitiful Hufflepuffish... teddy bear... that everyone could mock.  ;Then, not happy enough with all of that, you dared to follow me here, to the one place in all the world where I<br />actually feel safe, and proceeded to use your very presence in this institution to drive me away from it!”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“That's not true.  ;I don't want you to leave Hogwarts.  ;I...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“You used your knowledge of my past, of my deeply held regrets, to approach me at a time when you knew I'd be vulnerable. ;You could see that I was not in my right mind that night and still dared to take what, by your own admission, you knew I would have never given you under normal circumstances.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Your actions in this instance have been nothing but despicable, Potter.  ;You’ve known that for months and now I know it, too. ;There is nothing to fight for here.  ;Nothing that can be saved.  ;Nothing else for you to gain, no matter how hard you try.  ;You can't possibly humiliate me any further, I assure you.  ;There is no way on Earth that you can ever bring me lower than you've already brought me...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br><b><center>(~*~)(~*~)(~*~)</center></b></br><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Something vital broke inside Potter after that midnight encounter and, although they were still supposedly on speaking terms, tension surrounded their every interaction like a dark and poisonous cloud, making them so clearly uncomfortable in each others' company that Minerva kept giving<br />them the evil eye whenever they exchanged more than two words past a polite greeting.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Despite the growing discomfort that their constant closeness brought them, the Gryffindor still refused to move chairs at the High Table and Severus, locked as he was into his own placement by his position as Minerva's deputy, could do nothing but resent the other man's bloodymindedness in stony silence.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>At least Potter seemed to have finally backed off.  ;Severus stopped finding him everywhere he went and the man's constant attempts to engage him in conversation became a thing of the past, unless there was something in particular they needed to discuss for professional reasons. </p> <br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Despite their dwindling interaction Potter did not retreat altogether.  ;He still hovered in the background like a forlorn little shadow.  ;Patiently orbiting somewhere around Severus' general vicinity and looking at him constantly with those dejected green eyes that never failed to make him feel uncomfortably guilty.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He invariably placed himself in Severus' line of sight, always present, but respectfully out of reach like a loving pet or a watchful bodyguard.  ;Like a man who could not bear the very idea of denying himself the small comfort of being constantly... there.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br><b><center>(~*~)(~*~)(~*~)</center></b></br><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>It was twelve minutes past two on an unremarkable Wednesday afternoon when Severus' entire world finally came crashing down around his ears.  ;He still remembers precisely where he was when Minerva's cat Patronus interrupted his lesson, causing him to halt midword and stare at it in thunderstruck horror at its unexpected presence in his classroom.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>A veritable myriad of unwelcome memories flashed across his mind before her voice broke the stunned silence, freeing him from dark recollections of a war he hadn't yet managed to forget.  ;Memories of fighting so hard and hiding so much.  ;Memories of loosing so many dear friends.  ;Memories of Albus...</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Severus! There has been an accident in the defense classroom and Harry has been hit by a botched hex.  ;I’m sending his class to you.  ;Please make sure they end the day appropriately and take over my duties until further notice.  ;I'm heading to the infirmary right now.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He felt cold from head to toes.  ;His throat constricted so much that he could barely breathe properly and there was an unpleasant fire churning in his stomach, making him feel fiercely ill.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He dared not blink too fast, lest the burning in his eyes had the audacity of betraying the pitiful reality of his disconsolate reaction to the knowledge that Harry, his precious, beloved Harry, had been harmed to the point where he needed medical assistance and so he stood, rooted to the same spot where he'd been when the Patronus had first manifested, looking as lifeless and unfeeling as a statue made of heartless wax.  ;Appearing for all intent and purposes callously unmoved by the ghastly news he'd just received.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Whispers rose around the classroom as the children surrounding him began to react to the situation with the freedom that he, himself, could not afford to show and he let the loud, surprised gasps rise for once, feeling a strange comfort in hearing them break the eerie silence to speak the<br />words that he dared not say himself.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>A few minutes later, Mr. Davies, the seventh year prefect, knocked on the door, heralding the arrival of Harry's class.  ;He granted the students entrance with his usual sharp tone, eyeing them menacingly one by one as they filed in quietly past him. ;Only the fact that he had no<br />proof and no actual idea of what had happened prevented him from hexing that loathsome Mr. Edgar on the spot as soon as he set eyes on the brat's ashen face.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He knew the dammed kid was the strongest student in Defense.  ;His skills in the subject were rumored to be responsible for the visit that the head of the auror's recruiting team had paid him, just last week.  ;If Harry had fallen victim of a botched hex, then it couldn't have come from the boy, that was for sure.  ;Carl Edgar was too good to make that kind of mistake and he, literally, worshiped the ground the DADA professor walked on.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus closed his eyes and sighed, reminding himself sternly that he couldn't allow his undeniable dislike of the Gryffindor student to force him into giving the brat the detention that his tongue was itching to deliver.  ;Then he noticed how the rest of the classroom shied<br />pointedly away from their adored little leader, analyzed the peculiar way in which his seven year Slytherins were clustered around the slight figure of Josh Wilson and came to a truly awful conclusion.  ;His right eye twitched.  ;His dark gaze narrowed and a single vein began<br />to throb on his temple as he took a single step towards the odious Gryffindor bully.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Are you in any way responsible for Professor Potter's unfortunate accident, Mr Edgar?” He questioned with dangerous calm.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>The boy quivered where he stood, but looked him in the eye with his usual disrespect.  ;<br /><br /></p> <br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“It was an accident, Sir.  ;The professor thought I mispronounced the hex I was casting.  ;He attempted to cast a shield over my intended target, but was too close for the spell to take properly and ended up stepping into the path of the curse, instead.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus' gut twisted with the unpleasant premonition that he already knew the answer to his next question, but he couldn't stop himself from asking it, anyway: </p><br /><br /><p>“Was Mr. Wilson the intended target of your hex?”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Yes.” </p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>The answer was uttered with the kind of challenging bravado that only managed to rile Severus' infamous temper further.  ;He forced himself to clasp both hands behind his back, channeling the dangerous fury rising within him into the coldvoiced demand that abandoned his lips like the lash of a whip.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I'm afraid that I could not hear you properly, Mr. Edgar.  ;Did you just admit to having knowingly cast a botched hex on Mr. Wilson?  ;The same hex that has put Professor Potter in the infirmary?  ;I require your answer to be both concise and very clear. ;A simple yes or no will suffice.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“It wasn't a botched hex, Sir.  ;It was an improvement of my own invention.” The Gryffindor answered once more.  ;Pronouncing precisely the sort of the selfcondemning statement that Severus most wanted to hear and he sighed upon listening to it, feeling utterly wretched.  ; </p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>That particular confession would have brought him untold pleasure under any other circumstances, but he couldn't feel any elation whatsoever right now.  ;He finally had this loathsome little bug right where he wanted him, but the fact that Harry was injured, cursed by something cast on purpose by a boy who had not only meant to cause harm, but also possessed the necessary skills to achieve his intended goal, soured his triumph with a sickening dread that he couldn't push aside.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He'd taken a barely controlled step towards the Gryffindor troublemaker when the unexpected pop of a frantic looking castle elf froze him to the spot.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Vinky is sorry, professor Snape, Sir, but Headmistress McGonagall is wanting this class interrupted right away.  ;Vinky must remove Deputy Headmaster Snape, Sir, from this room, posthaste.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“What sort of nonsense is th..?” He became the unwilling focus of unfamiliar elf magic before he could finish his sentence and only his instant recognition of the castle's infirmary saved the elf from an absolutely incensed tonguelashing.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I'm sorry I had you removed from your classroom so hastily, Severus, but Harry needs you right now.  ;Pomona will take care of the students, so don't worry about them.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He relaxed at once, reacting to Minerva's apology, with a curt nod of his head.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I'd be happy to assist Mr. Potter, Headmistress, but I'll need to examine his symptoms if you want me to come up with a countering potion for an unknown hex.” He explained distractedly, turning around with the intention of walking towards the closed off area that he assumed contained<br />Harry's bed, only to find himself forcefully restrained by the firm hand she placed on his shoulder.<br /><br /></p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I wasn't implying that Harry's need of you relates only to your potions skills, Severus.  ;I'm trying to tell you that he needs your support and understanding in a way that I sincerely hope you'll be able to bring yourself to provide.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“This isn't the time to continue the petty little games that you've been so fond of playing lately.  ;Do you understand me?  ;Harry has been hit with a modified <i>Firebrand Hex</i> and the nature of the changes that have been added to the curse are making it impossible for us to put him into the magical sleep that most healers use to prevent a victim's mind from being negatively affected by the constant pain associated with this curse.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“The <i><i>Punishment Hex</i></i>...” Severus gasped “I can't believe Mr. Edgar was reckless enough to hurl such a thing at Josh Wilson.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“It's not a simple <i>Punishment Hex</i> anymore, Severus.  ;It has been combined with a strong <i>Compelling Charm</i> to create a cause-andeffect curse.  ;Filius believes that Mr. Edgar was trying to force the unpleasant effects of the <i>Firebrand</i> to become only apparent when certain requirements weren't met.  ;That goddammed brat was trying to<br />create a... training... curse, my friend.  ;One that was designed to force his victim to behave within predetermined parameters of behavior until the antidote could be brewed.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Minerva's horrifying explanation reached him as if through a fog and he shrugged off the trembling fingertips that she had curled around his shoulder in order to take the smallest step towards Harry's bed, surrendering to the unbearable need that drove him to be closer to his love.<br /><br /> ;To do whatever was required of him to help put an end to the terrible, whimpering sounds that reached him despite the drawn curtains that surrounded the Gryffindor's bed.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Poppy has done all she can to tone down the amount of pain brought on by the <i>Firebrand Hex</i>, but she hasn't been able to contain it completely, Severus.  ;We believe the regular antidote will work for this modified version of the curse, but it is so highly specialized and so<br />resistant to long term storage that we don't have it readily available and neither does St. Mungo's.<br /><br /> ;You'll have to brew it from scratch.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Merlin... What was that brat thinking?  ;The <i>Firebrand's</i> antidote takes six weeks to brew, Minerva.  ;If Mr. Edgar designed his hex in such a way that only the actions he wanted to reward could prevent the curse’s associated pain from ransacking his victim's body, then he wanted to have absolute control over Josh Wilson for at least a month and a half...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I believe that was his goal, Severus.  ;He wanted to force your student into a certain pattern of behavior for as long as possible and he devised a truly ingenious way to have his cake and eat it, too.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“It is unlikely that he'll go to Azkaban for this, since the <i>Punishment Hex</i> is ultimately harmless when treated, even though everybody knows that it is excruciatingly painful while active and its effects tend to grow worse with every passing hour, until it becomes necessary to either deliver the antidote or induce the victim into a magical sleep while it brews.  ;Nobody has ever died from this curse, though, so chances are that this attack won't be considered intentionally<br />lethal.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“But you just said that you can't put Potter to sleep.  ;The increasing pain could make him lose his mind while we wait for the antidote.  ;Six weeks is a very long time to spend in constant agony, Minerva.  ;He will have to adopt whatever behavior Mr. Edgar was trying to enforce in order to avoid unnecessary suffering.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“That is correct.  ;Carl's design has turned the <i>Punishment Hex</i> into a training tool, thus disabling the loophole that usually allows healers to induce magical sleep.  ;This is a cause and effect hex, Severus.  ;Only the spell's sanctioned behavior will soothe the<br />unbearable pain that Harry has been cursed to feel until he drinks the antidote.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>”That is why I'm here, isn't it?  ;Edgar hates Wilson with visceral spite.  ;He must have desired to force his victim to grovel at his feet for six weeks while he laughed with his cronies at whatever indignities he planned to force him to suffer in order to avoid bringing upon himself the terrible consequences of “displeasing” his “trainer”.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Minerva's mouth compressed into a thin line of outraged disapproval and her hazel brown eyes acquired the quality of river pebbles when she grasped his shoulder once again, bringing his attention back to her.  ;<br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Mr. Edgar will be most severely punished for this, I assure you.  ;But you are wrong about the nature of his intentions towards Mr. Wilson.  ;It appears that he doesn't hate his peer as much as everyone thought.  ;He doesn't hate him at all, in fact.  ;Carl Edgar was trying to create a love bond, Severus.  ;His “training” requests consisted on absolute sincerity and physical closeness to the person his victim loves the most.  ;We believe he was attempting to force Josh Wilson into admitting that he has feelings towards him, too.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus felt all color drain away from his face.  ;His stomach dropped all the way down to his feet and he wouldn't have been able to move a single muscle had his life depended on it.<br /><br /> ;He felt paralyzed and wounded.  ;Shocked right into despair.  ;Utterly and painfully shattered.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He could not imagine any fate worse than having to endure the torture of watching the man he loved to distraction seek physical comfort in the arms of whoever he happened to love the most, no matter how magically induced that comfortseeking may be. ;The next six weeks of his life promised to be torture of the cruelest kind...</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Oh!” He croaked out loud, feeling literally faint with distressed sorrow.  ;“Do you need me to seek out Potter's... beloved... and bring him here before starting on the antidote, Minerva?  ;Is that why you sent for me?”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Her lips trembled and her old eyes filled with a thick film of bright tears.  ;Her head shook from left to right and she looked at him sharply, shacking his bony shoulder so hard that the motion rattled his teeth.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Don't you dare harm that boy, Severus Snape!  ;Do you understand me?  ;I don't care how much you hate him, but... by Merlin!  ;You are going to grit your teeth and help us get Harry through this or I'll bloody <i>Imperio</i> you to do it!”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Her words hit him like a punch to the stomach and he gasped in horrified reaction to her lack of trust in him when it came to Harry's well being.  ;He attempted to recoil away from her touch, but she held onto him with a grip as hard as iron.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I'd never hurt the brat when he's this vulnerable, Headmistress.  ;I didn't waste an entire decade of my life looking after his sorry hide, just to let him suffer through the effects of a hex cast by a ridiculously talented teenager in the throes of a wild crush.  ;I will start brewing Potter's antidote as soon as you let me go.  ;He has nothing to fear on that score, I assure you.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“He needs more than that from you, Severus.  ;He needs <i>you</i>.  ;He tried his best to convince me to leave you out of this altogether, but we are unable to mute the effects of the “punishments” he's enduring and <i>Dreamless Sleep</i> doesn't work.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“He's right about it, then, Minerva.  ;He doesn't need me.  ;If the <i>Dreamless Sleep</i> is ineffective then nothing save the antidote itself will help.  ;He must fulfill the conditions of his “training” to the best of his ability.  ;Delivering sincerity and remaining in<br />physical closeness to whoever he loves the most should be a piece of cake for a man like Harry Potter.  ;You just have to make sure that whoever he cares for so deeply has access to him.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Minerva's disheartened chuckle made him break into a cold sweat with the terrible suspicion that whoever Potter had given his heart to may not have been all that enthusiastic about helping their wounded Savior.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Harry said you didn't believe him when he confessed his feelings to you, but I hoped he was exaggerating.  ;Now I see that he was telling the truth all along... How can you stand there, urging me to find Harry's paramour as if that has nothing whatsoever to do with you, when anyone <br />with eyes to see could tell you the name of Harry's beloved within half hour of seeing the two of you together, Severus?</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“He is in love with you, you, insufferably stubborn idiot!  ;He's been bound “in training” to you for the next six weeks of his life because he, literally, worships the ground you walk on, and now the depth his emotions and the fact that he must be sincere at all times in your presence have left him in such a vulnerable position when it comes to that ugly feud you've been so doggedly foisting on him that I shall never forgive you if you dare to use this opportunity to harm him any further.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><center><br><b>(~*~)(~*~)(~*~)</b></br></center><br /><br /> <br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Potter's naturally golden skin looked deathly pale against the crisp whiteness of the infirmary's pillowcases and there were circles under his eyes that Severus hadn't noticed while they'd been open and directing that intent, all seeing gaze at him over the last few weeks.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>The brat looked so fragile and small, as he slept under a towering heap of fluffy blankets, that Severus couldn't help the awful thought that the smallest breeze would be able to lift him up in the air and carry him far away from this room and the relative safety of his own presence.<br /><br /> ;Taking him too far to be reached.  ;Helped.  ;Held tightly onto...</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Potter... no.  ;<i>Harry</i> was in love with him.  ;He loved him with the kind of genuine passion that had forced the warped magic of Edgar's curse to recognize him as the man in charge of Potter's “training.” No matter how incredible it sounded, the brat's heart had chosen <i>him</i> above all others, turning him into the man Harry Potter had to be sincere to.<br /><br /> ;The one he had to stay physically close to during the next six weeks of his life, if he wanted to avoid the torture that the <i>Firebrand Hex</i> could deliver...</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>The thought rattled in Severus' head like a disturbingly loud buzz and he flinched in reaction to the knowledge that, although Harry had gathered enough courage to confess his feelings to his face, he hadn't been willing to believe a word of it.  ;He had dared to scorn, to... deny... the Savior's love, branding it a cruel lie in his infinite stupidity.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“You look rattled, Severus.  ;I'm sorry that you've been forced to come to my rescue once again.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Harry's soft voice brought him out of his thoughts and he turned guilty eyes towards the pale faced man on the bed.  ;Their hands had been entwined since Minerva pushed them together when she first forced him to sit on the chair he's still occupying and he hadn't been able to bring <br />himself to unclasp them, despite the fact that Harry's distressed whimpering had eased within seconds of that first initial contact.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“You've got nothing to apologize for, Po...Harry.  ; How are you?”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I've been better, that’s for sure.  ;At least, I'm no longer burning from the inside out with the effect of the <i>Firebrand</i>, thanks to you.  ;I know you don't want me this close, but I'm grateful for your willingness to help me, Severus.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Harry's hand pressed meaningfully against his trapped fingertips and Severus curled them instinctively upwards in silent repose to that infinitesimal pressure.  ;Their gazes clashed in a tangle of unvoiced dismay and hesitant gratitude and he suddenly found his throat too dry to voice a single word out loud.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>His mind was distressingly empty of logical or even properly apologetic sentences.  ;He had been rendered unable to express himself in any way, shape or form.  ;He had turned into a mass of both increasingly bubbling elation and guilty remorse, becoming a veritable tangle of<br />overwhelmed affection, wary disbelief and awed bewilderment at the idea that this man, whom he so profoundly adores, has been harboring those very same emotions towards him for months on end.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I'm sorry for failing to believe you when you told me about your feelings, Harry.  ;I...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“It's OK, Severus.  ;Don't beat yourself up about that, please.  ;It's all water under the bridge now, anyway.” </p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>The Gryffindor's face crumpled into a mask of shocked pain as soon as he uttered that sentence and Severus realized that it must have been a barefaced lie.  ;Worry brought him out of his chair in the next second, driving him to disengage his still trapped hand from Harry's clenching<br />fingers in order to pull his wand out of its holder and cast a simple<i> Numbing Charm</i> over the writhing body of the Gryffindor Head of House.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Please refrain from lying to me until the antidote is brewed, no matter how tempted you feel to spare my feelings, Harry.  ;I'm fully aware of how despicably cruel my recent behavior towards you has been and...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Severus, please, don't do this...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Listen to me, Harry.  ;Your annoying Mr. Edgar was remarkably thorough when he plotted out this curse.  ;It is designed to allow nothing but sincerity between trainee and trainer, forcing the victim to expose whatever emotions he feels instinctively inclined to hide in<br />order to bring about the kind of manufactured closeness that they boys must have failed to develop naturally.  ;It is monstrous and manipulative, but wickedly clever and it requires...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I know perfectly well what it requires.  ;I'm grateful that you didn't abandon me to deal with this on my own, but... I don't want your pity.  ;I know that you don't return my feelings.  ;You've gone to extreme lengths to make your opinion of me abundantly clear and I'd really<br />appreciate it if you could avoid giving me false hope now that I'm being forced to... expose... the vulnerability of my emotions so completely.  ;This is hard enough as it is, Severus.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus ran a trembling hand through his disheveled hair, utterly dismayed upon realizing just how deeply Harry had been hurt by his refusal to listen.  ;</p> <br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I don't pity you at all, Potter!” He growled, vexed with frustration, and only realized how badly he'd expressed himself when the man in the bed flinched as if he'd been slapped and turned his suddenly ashen face towards the wall.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Utter sorrow oozed from the Gryffindor's hunched form like a poisonous vapor and Severus' eyes burned with the disheartening awareness of how woefully unprepared he really was to deal with his love's heartbreaking fragility.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He sighed out loud with selfdeprecating frustration, biting his lower lip in a gesture that betrayed his inner turmoil before he dared to sit on the edge of the mattress, bringing himself as close to Harry's trembling figure as he possibly could in a bumbling attempt to offer the kind of<br />comfort that he desired to deliver, but had absolutely no idea of how to express.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I'm sorry, Harry.  ;I... That didn't come out the way I meant it at all.  ;I'm terrible at this sort of thing.  ;Your mother used to say that I don't know how to deal with my own emotions, let alone anyone else's...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Please, Severus, please... Don't mention my mother to me right now, I beg of you.  ;I realize that you loved her very dearly and that this request probably sounds illogical to you, but I can't cope with the idea of having to talk about that bloody mess while this curse is messing with<br />my head.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus' stomach started churning in earnest as he came to the unwelcome realization that nothing he had said or done since the Gryffindor's return to consciousness had managed to ease the man's emotional distress.  ;He'd kept hurting Harry more and more with every word he'd uttered, and the sheer desolation that his arrival at that unavoidable conclusion brought him was enough to make him choke out a hopelessly wobbly vow: </p><br /><br /><p>“It's all right, Harry.  ;I'll be as quiet as the grave, I promise... Why don't you go back to sleep, then?  ;Poppy says you need to rest.”</p><br /><br /><center><br><b>(~*~)(~*~)(~*~)</b></br></center><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Although many things remained the same in many ways when it came to their interaction with one another, everything had changed so fundamentally that Severus felt well and truly uprooted.<br /><br /> ;He was unsettled, out of his depth and agonizingly incapable of coping with the emotional upheaval that his new awareness of Harry's feelings had created within him.  ;His orderly life had been thrown into utter chaos and the soothing familiarity of his usual pattern of behavior towards his Gryffindor counterpart was no longer... appropriate.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Harry's need to be physically in his presence forced them to interact more often than they had ever done before.  ;They ended up having to relocate to an abandoned 'family' suite because the brat couldn't manage the stress of being out of his sight for longer than a couple of hours at a time and Severus failed to adapt to their temporary cohabitation with the quiet grace he'd been determined to show.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>They had their own bedrooms and bathrooms; sharing only the small kitchen, office space and sitting room, but Harry's need to be in his direct line of sight while awake made it impossible for Severus to seek refuge inside the privacy of his own bedroom when things became too much for<br />him to bear.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>For a man who prided himself in his unparalleled vocabulary and sharp communication skills, he was pitifully unable to make Harry understand how very sorry he was about their past interactions.  ;He was simply incapable of delivering the soothing comfort that he tried to offer more than once and ended up feeling both uncharacteristically clumsy and embarrassingly tonguetied whenever he came in close contact with the Gryffindor.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>His crystal clear discomfort soon turned their forced cohabitation into the kind of deeply awkward affair that left him invariably disappointed and so utterly dismayed at his inability to... connect... with Harry that he couldn't eat properly.  ;Couldn't sleep any more.  ;Couldn't just... relax.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Harry loved him.  ;Wanted him.  ;Adored him... They had been together in a sexual way already and the nature of the brat's curse made it impossible for him to lie to his face. ; Severus knew that he shouldn't be wasting their precious time wallowing in irrational insecurity.  ;He knew that he should be using this golden opportunity to bring them finally<br />closer and make Harry understand that their current relationship could change.  ;That his affection wasn't the hopeless disaster that he feared it to be. ;Severus loved him too.<br /><br /> ;He'd have done anything to prove himself worthy of the gift of having Harry in his life and yet... he was squandering his chance.  ; </p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He knew that he had stumbled upon the perfect situation to open up and let the Gryffindor realize the true nature of the impossible dreams that he'd been harboring for so long, but he couldn't find a way to show any of that to the man.  ;No matter how many times he told himself to take a deep breath and admit how very stupid he now found his past behavior, he'd been unable to... beg... his increasingly bitter lion for the second chance that he was now absolutely certain he didn't deserve.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>It hadn't helped at all that the cat had been publicly pulled right out of its bag with regards to the shifting nature of their relationship.  ;Mr Edgar's harsh punishment and the reasons behind it had made the front page of the Prophet the day after Harry was cursed.  ;The nature<br />of the hex and the training 'conditions' associated with it had been leaked to the press, alongside his own name as Harry Potter's 'trainer,' thus allowing not only Hogwarts' students but also the general wizarding public to become uncomfortably aware of the depths of Harry's feelings towards him.<br /><br /></p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>The wounded lion had read the initial article detailing his current situation with a crushing despair shadowing his eyes while showing the kind of unsettling sobriety that had twisted Severus' stomach into a most unpleasant tangle of churning knots.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Nothing could compare to the bitter hopelessness that grew steadily on that green gaze with every passing day, though.  ;The papers continued to capitalize on the ghastly nature of Harry's curse via utterly offensive humorous strips that depicted their 'possible' interactions with the kind of gleeful maliciousness that forced Severus to grit his teeth, reducing him to plotting precisely how to extract a proper Slytherin retribution from those who'd dared to harm his Harry thus for the purpose of selling one more paper.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>There had been two such strips decorating the front page of the Prophet that morning and, although he'd managed to hide the paper from Harry during breakfast at the Great Hall, the brat must have ordered a castle elf to find him a copy, because he was holding a slightly crumpled morning edition by the time Severus joined him in their shared living room after his morning<br />shower.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“They are having great fun at my expense.  ;Wouldn't you say?  ;I don't know who drew the cartoon that has me jumping at your command like an eager puppy, but the one where I'm wearing the throat choker, the greencolored tights and the silver thong with the dangling snake charm for your pleasure has all the hallmarks of being a Dean Thomas original.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Harry...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Don't, Severus.  ; Please.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I thought Thomas was your friend and, even if he isn't, taking cheap shots at a fellow Gryffindor when he's down is despicable.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“He isn't saying anything that the rest of the world hasn't thought about already and at least his art is classy, if you are into that sort of thing.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus looked at the enticing drawing that he'd so fiercely wanked to in the shower and struggled something fierce with his own conscience.  ;He felt so absolutely terrible that he didn't realize how disgusted his voice sounded when he finally spoke: </p><br /><br /><p>“You've got nothing to fear on that score, Harry.  ;I swear.  ;I'd never take advantage of you in such degrading way.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>The distressed bubble of hysterical laughter that Harry offered in response cut short Severus' flustered attempt to deliver soothing comfort, forcing him to retreat back into confused silence despite his almost visceral need to do something about this. ;To grab hold of the slightly<br />trembling Gryffindor and find a way to make him feel less hurt, less hopeless.  ;Less... vulnerable and wounded.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Of course you'll never take sexual advantage of me.  ;You're far too honorable for that.”<br /><br />Awful bitterness turned that simple statement from a reassuring expression of trust into the kind of growled accusation that made Severus stiffen like a statue carved in marble.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“You don't sound all that happy about it.  ;How can you fail to find relief in my desire to spare you sexual humiliation?  ;You can't possibly want to wear this sort of attire for my benefit and it'd be monstrous of me to even consider asking you to do it.  ;I'm uncomfortably aware of how much power I hold over you right now.  ;It frightens me, Harry.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Harry's emerald gaze settled over his features with unbearable heartbreak and his voice was a mere whisper when he finally voiced his simple, but devastating answer out loud:</p><br /><br /><p>“I'd gladly wear that particular outfit for you, if it pleased you, Severus.  ;I don't find the idea of having sex with you humiliating in the slightest.  ;I.  ;Love.  ;You, remember?  ;I would give up a hell of a lot to be granted the chance of exploring my sexuality with you, but that's neither here nor there, is it?</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“You <i>Obliviated</i> yourself after we sleep together.  ;You risked your very sanity by performing a highly inadvisable spell on your own mind, in order to forget that you had ever touched me in that way.  ;Trust me when I tell you that I'm perfectly aware of how... abhorrent... you find the idea of having sex with me.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Those words shattered Severus' composure to such degree that he couldn't keep his indifferent mask in place for a single second longer.  ;His already pale visage lost the last remnants of color it possessed as his body became a graceless mass of shaking bones and muscle.  ;His hands began trembling so much that he had to curl them into twin fists on his lap and his eyes burned with such shamed regret that he was forced to close them before whispering his roughtoned reply:</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Has it ever occurred to you that I may have assumed your interest in me to be false?<br /><br /> ;Can you not realize that I've been mocked for my physical shortcomings so often and so... thoroughly... that I've spent my entire adulthood shying away from all sexual entanglements?”</p><br /><br /><p>Harry's attention became immediately riveted on him.  ;His hands abandoned the paper on the side table and he clasped them together, resting his forearms on his knees in a motion that curled his entire body forwards in his chair and brought him as close as possible to Severus' rigid form.  ;The position made him look nothing short of devoted to the task of hearing him better, of blocking out anything and everything that may distract his senses from his focused study of both Severus' halting words and flustered body language.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I know you've been wounded sexually, Severus.  ;Your reactions that night were... enlightening... to say the least.  ;You behaved like a man who has rarely found pleasure in the act.  ;You tried your best to hide your body from my sight.  ;You kept shying away from the light and attempted to force me to come down your throat in a bid to prevent me from <br />moving past your sittingroom altogether. </p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“You assumed that I'd leave you hanging if you gave me pleasure.  ;That I'd pat you on the head and walk away, like everyone else must have done before me.  ;You dared to believe that I'd abandon you to your drunken loneliness without a second thought for your own needs if you knelt at my feet and allowed me to use you like a... toy, or a doll.  ;Like a lifeless thing devoid of... feelings.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus cringed at the depth of Harry's knowledge of him, at the unwelcome realization of how much he'd revealed of himself with his actions and reactions that night.  ;With his determination to treat the man he loved exactly like he'd treated everyone who had come before him.  ;Men who had never truly desired him and had only ever bothered with him in order to play dangerous power games that they had never, ultimately, won.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“You don't have to... pity... me for my tendency to fall to my knees and pleasure those who care to seek me out, Harry.  ;Men who look like me can't afford to be all that picky about things like sexual positions or even physical attraction.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I... I may have looked like a lifeless doll to you, but I have learned over the years that the man on his knees controls most sexual encounters.  ;I win every time I put myself in the position of delivering the pleasure.  ;I decide when it all ends and how.  ;I can drag out the<br />moment or be done with it in minutes... I'm not the one who loses all awareness of where he is, and with whom, in order to enjoy the fleeting pleasure of orgasm.  ;Sex is a weapon that I've learned to turn against those who have tried to use it against me.” </p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Hot tears spilled from Harry's green eyes, painting twin rivers of sorrow down his golden cheeks before dripping down onto his bare forearms with soft plopping sounds that broke the unbearable quiet.</p><br /><br /><p>“Sex is also a gift, Severus.  ;It's an expression of desire so powerful that it can heal all your hurts and soothe your every fear, if only you allow yourself to view the act as something other than a battlefield.  ;I had no intention of hurting you at all.  ;I never wanted to control you, or humiliate you, or whatever the hell it is that whoever had you before me attempted to gain from the experience.</p><br /><br /><p>“I never stopped to think about how you'd view my desire to bring you comfort that night, and for that I have only myself to blame.  ;I should have known that something wasn't right, but I didn't pay proper attention.  ;All I cared about was that you were drunk and you were<br />hurting.  ;You clung to me seeking... oblivion, I think, and it didn't occur to me to question why you'd open up like that to someone you dislike so much, instead of going to Minerva or Poppy for more... conventional... support.” </p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Those words caught him off guard, crushing his pounding heart with the awareness of how much beauty he'd relinquished with his thoughtless actions.  ;Of how much love and adoration he'd rejected with his terrible decision to <i>Obliviate</i> himself.  ;Of how badly he'd hurt Harry with his subsequent intractable behavior.  ;Of how much time and happiness he'd stolen from them both. ;Time and happiness that had been lost forever, that would now never return.  ;Could never be enjoyed or reclaimed in any way, shape or form...<br /><br /></p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He inhaled disconsolately, forcing himself to remain as calm as possible even though his very last hope was bleeding to death inside the aching prison of his chest.  ;Anger, fear and absolute terror clogged his throat to the point that he felt literally incapable of uttering a single word further.  ;An entire minute passed before he found the strength to look directly into Harry's steadily darkening eyes and finally managed to gasp out the truth, unvarnished:</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I may have reacted better if I'd disliked you as much as I claimed, Harry.  ;I'm fully aware that I've never treated you with kindness and I understand why you are so convinced that I despise you, but... nothing could be further from the truth.  ;</p><br /><br /><p>“I'm the kind of man who only ever bothers harming what threatens him the most and nothing on this Earth has ever threatened me more than affection.  ;I... I love you too, Harry.  ;I love you probably as much, if not more, as you love me.  ;That is why I couldn't cope with the idea that I may have allowed myself to become yours so carelessly.  ;I could not bear the thought that you've seen me as I truly am: an ugly, damaged creature that will never possess enough charm to even dare to entertain the hope of catching your eye someday.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Oh, Severus...  ;How could you think such a thing?  ;How could you have been so blind?  ;There is nothing but beauty within you. ;It's hidden under a wounded, tangled mess of sharpwitted resentment and frosty defensiveness, I'll grant you that, but it's there nevertheless.” </p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>His pale throat contracted nervously when Harry pushed himself off his chair, falling gracelessly onto his knees in the space that separated their seats before shuffling towards him.</p><br /><br /><p>“Get up, Harry, please.  ;I don't like watching you crawl on your knees in front of me.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I don't like watching you fall to your knees, either.  ;But I let you show me that side of yourself when you needed me to.  ;I want to sit at your feet right now and gaze up at you like a humble beggar, Severus.  ;I want to gift you the power that no one else has ever offered you and let you know that I desire the ugly, damaged man you believe yourself to be with every fiber of my being.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>”I.  ;Want.  ;You.  ;Limitlessly, my love.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>”I want you totally.  ;I want you constantly.  ;I want you genuinely.  ;Hopelessly.  ;I want everything that you have ever been, everything that you are right now and everything you have the potential to ever become.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Harry...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Listen to me: I want your clever mind and your sharp wit.  ;I want your terrible temper and your immeasurable loyalty.  ;I want your emotional strength and your bloodyminded determination to do the right thing.  ;I want you awake and asleep.  ;Sick and healthy. ;I want you angry, nervous, happy, tired, frustrated, elated and worried.  ;I want you in every way you care to present yourself to me and I find you beautiful in every single one of those forms.  ;You.  ;Are.  ;Everything.  ;To.  ;Me, Severus<br /><br />Snape.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“That is too much, Harry... You are too generous.  ;I messed everything up.  ;I hurt you so badly...  ;I don't deserve your forgiveness at all.” Severus forced himself to choke out the unbearable truth as his composure crumbled like a castle built on dust and prayers that could no longer withstand the pressure of Harry's persistence.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>His hands rose of their own volition to cradle the Gryffindor's tearstained face like a priceless treasure.  ;Harry sighed and smiled up at him with the kind of trust that burrowed under his skin and traveled through his veins towards his pounding heart, nesting inside it without bothering to ask for permission or even hesitate in the act of making itself at home.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I hurt you, too, Severus.  ;I shouldn't have tried to keep what you did to yourself away from you.  ;I was trying to protect you.  ;Give you the oblivion that you so obviously wanted when you cast that <i>Obliviate</i>, but I couldn't keep away...</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I convinced myself that you had allowed yourself to seek comfort with me because you cared for me, deep down, and my constant presence around you when you couldn't remember what happened made you more paranoid than usual about my inexplicable desire to get closer.  ;We both messed up and it's frightening to imagine what would have happened to us if Carl Edgar hadn't decided to cast this stupid spell in the middle of my classroom...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Don't even joke about it, Harry, please...  ;I think I'd have murdered that brat if Minerva's messenger hadn't arrived when it did.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Let's forget poor, doomed Carl.  ;He's been suitably punished for his actions and, unlike me, has lost whatever pitiful chances he ever had of securing his beloved's heart.” Harry's words ghosted across his palms and he shivered in instinctive response to them.  ;His arm twitched when the lion kneeling before him pressed his soft cheek more firmly into the cradle of his hands and his breath froze in his lungs when his senses became suddenly snared by the open desire that had begun to flash in the emerald depths of Harry's gorgeous eyes.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I want you, Severus.  ;Please... Oh, please...  ;let me have you once again.  ;I'm begging you, my love...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Sweet temptation rose through his veins like a powerful tide and he shook before it like a bobbing cork or a flimsy boat in the face of unconquerable power.  ;Desire swept through him, urging him to surrender to the need that was stomping all over his body like a bumbling giant.<br /><br /> ;He wanted to bend down and pull Harry into his lap, grasp him tightly and cradle his love against his scrawny chest while he still had the chance...</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>But then his heart brought back the voice of reason.  ;Reminding him that Harry's kneeling position may had been freely adopted, but that he still was a man under the influence of a training bond that would relish his submission.  ;He'd been cursed with a spell that actually sought to make him yield and, although the bond may have never been able to force him to offer himself thus without desire, it was still curtailing both his freedom of choice and his ability to walk away, if he wanted to do so.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Harry could not tell him a lie.  ;Could not remain aloof.  ;Could not... choose... whether he really wanted to be here or not, despite the affection they both held for one another. <br /><br /> ;Love in and of itself isn't the only consideration to be taken into account when choosing one's life partner, after all...</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Sorrow and hope tainted Severus' voice in equal measure when he forced his long fingers to let go of the youth that had so earnestly offered himself to him.  ;His dark eyes sought Harry's own and he fervently hoped that this would be the last time he'd be ever forced to put that terrible hurt in his lion's gaze.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He swallowed thickly and took a single deep breath before daring to place the most delicate of kisses upon Harry's downturned mouth, whispering his heartbroken answer as softly as he possibly could into the oppressive silence:</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I will let you have me when you are truly free, Harry.  ;I will give myself to you when you can speak to me without having your choice of words restricted by the demands of this terrible curse.  ;I will surrender myself to your touch like I've never done before, as soon as you stop being tied to my presence in order to remain... unharmed.  ;I will have you when you are able to walk away from me, should you wish to do so.  ;I will accept you when you can choose me, truly, genuinely choose me, and not a single second before that, my love...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><center><br><b>(~*~)(~*~)(~*~)</b></br></center><br /><br /> <br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Living in a halfrelationship with Harry Potter wasn't everything he wanted, but it turned to be a lot more than he'd ever hoped to receive.  ;The weeks following their Prophetinduced heart to heart were among the happiest of Severus' existence and although there were a lot of things he longed to change, like his own resistance to go past heavy snogging when it came to their physical interactions, his days had been filled to bursting with sheer joy and his nights had become a literal haze of increasingly sensual dreams and evergrowing hope.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Harry's mood abandoned its worrisome dejection altogether.  ;He'd learned to deal with the Prophet's incessant ribbing with the kind of grace that Severus thoroughly admired.  ;He'd refused to continue hiding inside their rooms and, although he couldn't teach his classes any more because they coincided with Severus' own and they couldn't be apart the entire day without him being 'punished' for their physical distance, he managed to convince Minerva to allow Severus to go back to teaching with the stipulation that he sit through every class without exception.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>The students initially mocked his presence and delighted in elbowing one another while exchanging offensively lewd remarks about Severus' pretty 'pet', driving the Slytherin head of house to extract such cruel retribution in the form of housepoint loss, grade reductions and absolutely terrifying tasks to be performed during detentions that such nonsense had not only dwindled satisfyingly fast, but disappeared altogether within two days of his return to teaching.<br /><br /></p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Some nights Severus woke in the small hours of the morning bathed in cold sweat and shivered at the realization of how very close he'd been to throwing his current happiness away.<br /><br /> ;He couldn't get the idea out of his head as he brewed the antidote that would end Harry's training, promising to return the Gryffindor's former freedom to them while hopefully allowing them to retain the new trust and understanding that the accidental bond between them had created.<br /><br /></p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He'd been an absolute idiot.  ;A ridiculous, terrified fool who'd been unable to see the devotion so generously showered over him by the man his heart had chosen.  ;They could have been kissing and flirting and dreaming about their future together for far longer than they had, if only he had dared to open his eyes and... see.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>They could have already made love a thousand times over.  ;He could have kept the beautiful recollection of their first time together safe inside his mind for all eternity, but he'd squandered that memory in the name of fear and now that same enemy was beginning to taint the last few days of their shared cohabitation with the dark specter of his natural emotional insecurity.<br /><br /></p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>The closer Harry's antidote came to optimum strength the more he allowed his unfounded fears to overpower his fragile confidence.  ;He feared what Harry would do once he regained the ability to leave him and wrestled with his instincts' growing determination to overrule his heart's desire to believe in his love blindly.  ;He wanted to hold onto hope, surrender himself to faith for the first time in his life and allow Harry Potter to prove that faith well placed...</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><center><br><b>(~*~)(~*~)(~*~)</b></br></center><br /><br /> <br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Harry drank the antidote with a wariness that worried him to the core.  ;His lion did not smile in relief as Severus presented him with the small, aquacolored vial that he'd been slaving over for the last six weeks of his life.  ;He didn't thank him for his labor and failed to kiss him in the loving manner with which he usually welcomed him back to Earth whenever he lost himself in his passion for brewing.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Harry didn't look like a man on the brink of freedom should have looked.  ;He looked sick, nervous and so perfectly unhappy that Severus' already churning gut tangled even more as he watched his perfectly brewed antidote disappear down that utterly beloved throat.  ;Time stood still as neither of them moved for what seemed like a veritable eternity.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Harry?  ;How are you feeling?” Severus forced himself to ask at last, daring to take a step closer in order to better asses the strange paleness that was spreading through his love's distraught features.  ;“I don't understand why you look so dejected.  ;The potion is<br />supposed to work right away.  ;You should be free by now...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Terrified green orbs settled desperately over him, blinking hurriedly to prevent the small tear drops that clung to the tips of Harry's eyelashes from spilling down his cheeks.</p><br /><br /><p>“I don't want to be free.  ;I don't want to walk away and I'm terrified that you'll ask me to leave now that you no longer feel compelled to look after me.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Relief flooded every inch of Severus' lanky body upon hearing those words, leaving him weak at the knees with the kind of joy that he'd seldom experienced.  ;He tried to get even closer to Harry, but ended up stumbling so clumsily that he would have fallen to the ground if his lion hadn't gathered him close at that point.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Careful arms curled under his own, keeping him upright and pulling him tightly against Harry's heaving chest.  ;He was held with such delicate care, with such disarming tenderness, that his dark eyes closed in overwhelmed reaction to the sheer devotion that seemed to be wafting<br />off Harry like a vapor or an aura.  ;Like an unstoppable force.  ;Like the fabled love of legend that this man had used once before to defeat the darkest wizard their world had ever known.<br /><br /></p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Harry...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Don't send me away, please... Don't ever ask me to leave you, Severus.  ;I'm pretty sure I don't have the strength to survive that kind of blow.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus swallowed with overwhelmed emotion and allowed his trembling hands to settle atop Harry's quivering back.  ;His senses reeled with the wonder of hearing his love choose him once more, now that there was no magical force compelling him to remain by his side.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Sheer elation bubbled in his veins and he allowed himself the liberty of letting his hands glide along the tense line of his beloved's spine in the kind of clumsily soothing motion that he'd never permitted himself to bestow upon another human being.</p><br /><br /><p>“I don't want you to leave, either, Harry.  ;I... I'd love to keep you forever, if you can manage that.  ;Or for however long you're willing to put up with me, if you think you're too young to settle for that sort of... permanence.”</p><br /><br /><p>Harry's whoop of joy brought him welcome relief, forcing him out of his selfconscious rigidity as soon as that ecstatic pair of emerald eyes settled over his face, gazing so adoringly up at him that he felt undeniably beautiful for the first time in his memory. </p> <br /><br /><p>“Permanence is fine by me, sweetheart.  ;Spending the rest of my life loving you is the closest thing to perfection I can imagine...”</p><br /> <br /><center><br><b>(~*~)(~*~)(~*~)</b></br></center><br /><br /> <br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Dinner at the Great Hall had been a cheerful, lively affair that taxed Severus' ability to withstand the uncalledfor knowing winks of his colleagues and the inane giggling emanating every so often from the student's tables.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>For all the insupportable glee that everyone had showed at Harry's refusal to even let go of his hand, Severus was convinced that the meal hadn't been nearly long enough.  ;Their snail paced descent into his beloved dungeons hadn't been dragged as long as he'd needed it to and he hadn't taken nearly enough time in the bathroom, changing out of his comfortingly familiar teaching robes and into his longest, thickest nightshirt, before coming back out into his bedroom and forcing himself to... ;confront... ;the sheer adoration plastered all over Harry Potter's face.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“There is no need to look so nervous, Severus.  ;I have no intention of hurting you and, although you don't remember our first night together, it taught me enough of your likes and dislikes to guarantee that I'll give you plenty of pleasure.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus blushed to the tips of his ears, directing a wideeyed look at Harry's bare chest and feeling literally weak at the knees when the man finally approached him, extending eager hands towards him with the kind of longing to hold him that no other lover had ever showed him before.<br /><br /></p><br /><br /><p>“Come here, sweetheart.  ;Let me take a good look at you.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I... ;maybe we should cast <i>Nox</i>.  ;The fire dancing in the hearth should give off enough light to...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Calloused fingertips cradled his sharp cheekbones with loving tenderness and a firmly determined thumb pressed against his lips, silencing his flustered request with gentle resolution.<br /><br /></p><br /><br /><p>“I won't let you hide in your beloved shadows tonight.  ;I.  ;Love.  ;You, Severus.  ;You can bare your body before me without fearing ridicule.  ;You've got no reason to retreat behind your masks anymore...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus' heartbeat hammered his pulse points with relentless insistence, making him feel anxious and on edge.  ;His eyes closed against the onslaught of Harry's possessive gaze and he stuttered out his agreement in agitated nervousness, unable to bring himself to deny his lover the right to see him, but finding himself absolutely terrified to confront the look of disappointment that he was certain would flash across Harry's gorgeous eyes as soon as they settled upon the undeniable ugliness of his scarred body.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Warm palms slid down his neck, running along the stiff lines of his shoulders and kneading them ever so slightly in a reassuring pattern before coming down his arms and forearms, tracing a single line of fire that burned him all the way to the bone even through the flimsy layer of his long sleeved nightshirt.  ;Steady fingers tangled with his own, uniting them palm to palm in so unexpected a gesture that Severus startled slightly backwards and opened his eyes once again.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Harry, what are you doing?  ;Why aren't you unbuttoning my collar?”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“We have all the time in the world.  ;I don't need to rip off your clothes like some sex crazed barbarian.  ;I can give you the time you need to relax into my arms.  ;To surrender yourself to my care.  ;To understand that this, <i>us</i>, will be nothing like the experiences of your past. </p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I want to find pleasure tonight, but I also want to see you unravel before me.  ;I want to hear you gasp my name with needy delight while I bring you to orgasm with my touch.  ;I want to have the part of you that no one else has ever wanted, Severus.  ;I don't want your tactical surrender.  ;I want your genuine passion.  ;Your raw desire.  ;Your hunger.  ;Your need.  ;I want you, just you, unmasked...“ </p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus' trembling hands were lifted then towards the rosy lips that spoke so sweetly of love and a reverent row of tender little kisses was deposited over his knuckles, like breathwarmed benedictions.  ;The caress shattered something inside him. ;Something fearful and reluctant that he hadn't realized had been shining like a beacon in his eyes.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He came closer to Harry of his own volition, seeking refuge in the heat of the Gryffindor's strong arms and finding it freely offered when they curled around his hipbones and brought him even closer, plastering him all over the gorgeously athletic chest that had starred in so many of his nightly fantasies.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Harry...” He whispered weakly, finding the courage to bend his neck low enough to bring his lips within kissing distance of his lion's.  ;He hesitated at the very last second, though, hoovering uncertainly a mere breath away from the mouth he was so desperate to worship and ended up sighing with grateful relief when his partner chuckled fondly and bridged the small distance between them, kissing him firmly and with feeling.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Despite having been the one to initiate the contact Harry relinquished control of the caress as soon as Severus attempted to regain it, opening himself up to the invasion of his tongue, his teeth, his kiss.  ;Welcoming him so wholeheartedly into the hot cavern of his mouth that the Slytherin could do nothing but surrender to the overwhelming need for more that was rising through every line and sinew of his body like an unstoppable tide.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>His hands rose shakily upwards, grabbing huge fistfuls of Harry's soft hair and forcing that scorching mouth away from his swelling lips in a desperate bid to preserve some of his sanity.  ;His breath became labored and his pulse fairly galloped against his temples and wrists.<br />  ;He felt strangely energized and heavylimbed at the same time.  ;Breathless, woolly headed and itchy with the kind of need that he could neither control nor deny.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Harry...  ;Harry...  ;I...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Sshhh...  ;Everything is all right, my love.  ;I'm right here...” Harry soothed him lovingly, carding gentle fingertips through his tangled hair before peppering a small row of open mouthed kisses on the underside of his jaw.  ;Against the shell of his ear and down the tensing line of his neck.  ;All the way across his snowwhite clavicle towards his cotton covered shoulder.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>His Adam's apple began to bob with agitation under the onslaught of Harry's voracious kisses.<br /><br /> ;He hissed in startled reaction to the soft nip he received when he groaned aloud for the very first time, driving his companion absolutely insane with desire.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Questing fingertips grabbed the tightly closed lapels of his nightshirt and tugged insistently on it, forcing his buttons apart with a sound of ripping of cloth that left him not only utterly shocked at the unrestrained need it betrayed, but also exposed for the very first time in his memory to Harry's hungry gaze.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Merlin...  ;I can't believe you're letting me look at you like this again while you are wide awake and sober.  ;I will do everything in my power to make sure you never regret this choice, Severus.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus' breath hitched and he closed his eyes to better savor the incredible joy that such heartfelt promise brought to him.  ;A ferocious kiss was pressed against the scarred skin that covered his frantically beating heart and he felt his senses burn as if he'd been plunged directly into a river of scorching lava when his lion's teeth scrapped against the nub of his nipple, worrying it mercilessly before sucking on it soothingly. Only to repeat that maddeningly arousing pattern again and again, with the kind of single mindedness that reduced him to a writhing mass of muscle and bone that could do nothing but hang from Harry's strong arms as he was lovingly extricated from the ruined remnants of his nightshirt and tipped backwards into his soft bed.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Harry played his body like the greatest of musicians.  ;He knew exactly were to touch to make him groan and gasp and sigh so roughly that Severus could no longer recognize the sound of his own voice.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>His lion kissed every inch of him with exquisite attention to detail: nipping, nibbling, sucking and adoring every bit of pale skin he came across.  ;Harry worshiped his every scar and mole.  ;Adoring every mark, burn and imperfection of his ugly body with such ruthless determination that Severus had no other option but to accept the depth and breadth to which he was desired.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Wide, capable hands pressed him into the mattress and a soft, breathless sigh of unashamed appreciation ghosted across the sensitive skin of his painfully hard cock in the next second, bringing his reeling senses to the crystalclear awareness that he lay pinned under Harry Potter while the man held him immobile via the clawed fingertips that he'd curled around Severus' jutting hipbones, exposing him to the covetous hunger that darkened the gorgeous emerald gaze of his own, personal Savior.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>A single, lustful groan broke past Harry's kissswollen lips before the mouth that had spent the last six weeks promising him unbridled passion descended on his cock and swallowed him whole, turning his every thought into mush and his nerveendings into a tangled mass of reeling senses that could feel nothing but fire and fullness and tension and... ;bliss.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Heat enfolded his manhood, cradling it delicately.  ;Laving it from root to tip in a devastating ebb and flow of pleasurable demand for him to give more of himself to the Gryffindor seemingly intent on drinking him dry, on swallowing him whole, on devouring him like a ravenous beast, like an elegant gent, like a devoted worshiper, like the lover he must have known once before but had, so stupidly, condemned himself to forget...</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Harry, Harry...  ;please stop.  ;I will spill myself in your mouth if you carry on like this...” He ended up pleading with strangled desperation, pulling on his lion's head with the insistence of a man who was utterly unwilling to allow himself the empty gratification of such one sided relief.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>He wanted, no, needed to be one with this creature who had waited so patiently for him.  ;Who had dragged him, kicking and screaming, to this place where he knew nothing but pleasure.  ;To this landscape were his senses knew no disappointment and his mind had no hope on Earth of formulating a single logical thought.  ;To this one instant when he was<br />nothing but feeling and instinct.  ;Trust and desire.  ;Joy, hope and unimaginable bliss.<br /><br /></p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I want more, Harry.  ;I need more.  ;I want to know how it feels to have you buried to the hilt inside of me...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Harry stared right into his eyes, looking literally unhinged with desire.  ;He let go off his cock with a soft 'pop' and arched upwards like a satisfied cat, rubbing his sweatslicked body against Severus' writhing form in a move designed to crush their erections together, trapping them alongside each other in a contact that stomped all over the Slytherin's overstimulated senses, leaving him literally weak with the kind of mindless lust that should, by rights, had addled his brain altogether.<p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I'll give you everything you want, my love.  ;I'll give you everything you need.  ;Then I'll wrestle it back from your exhausted body and pour it all over your senses again.  ;And again.  ;And again...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus groaned directly into the playful lips so busily peppering breathless, little kisses all over his trembling mouth.  ;He cried out in shocked surrender when Harry's sudden thrust downwards brought their groins into explosive alignment, allowing the clearly experienced<br />Gryffindor to rut against him with such passionate ferocity that he felt the pleasure of it blast decades worth of memories depicting lukewarm sexual encounters and awkward solitary fumblings away from his mind.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Harry!...” His mouth opened in a gasp of dazed incredulity at the amazingly fierce passion that was wrecking havoc with his crumbling defenses.  ;His eyes widened and he stared directly into a swirling sea of bright emerald desire.  ;His mouth exhaled a single, broken groan and he tried to beg for mercy but his pleas were cut off abruptly when his lips were suddenly taken, bitten with possessive insistence and claimed beyond all doubt or denial by the desperate hunger that fueled his lover's caress.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Harry kissed him as if he had no hope for tomorrow, as if there would be no next second, or next minute, or next hour.  ;No next... ;anything.  ;His flanks were soothed with a downward motion that ended when his lion curled strong hands around his thighs and pulled his legs upwards, kneeling over him like a conquering warrior and creating a small space between his suddenly trembling legs that allowed Harry to... ;nestle... ;in the little hollow created by the slow and selfconscious parting of his bonny knees.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“You are so beautiful like this, my love... ;all dark eyes and flushed skin and such obvious need to be pleasured...” Those incredible words exploded in the suddenly tense silence like the harsh lash of a whip, making Severus ache to trust in the strength of Harry's reverence.<br /><br /></p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I'm nothing of the kind.  ;I'm...  ;scarred...  ;and too thin.” He gasped, pushing the hurtful truth out into the open and praying with all his might for his lover to look at him without rosetinted spectacles.  ;To see him, as unlovely and heartbreakingly ugly as he really was, and still find a way to want him, despite his failings.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Harry smiled into his eyes, caressing the length of his thighs in a gently descending motion that eventually allowed him to cradle Severus' scrawny rear in the palms of his hands, squeezing it rather playfully.</p><br /><br /><p>“You could do with a bit more meat on your bones, but there's no lack of charm in this handful.  ;You are the perfect size, I promise you.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus laughed, despite himself, and attempted to squirm away with a mildly shocked: “Potter!” That earned him another playful grope and a kiss that literally stole the breath from his lungs before the brat pressed himself forwards ever so slightly and growled against the shell of his ear:</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I'm going to make you mine, my love.  ;I'm going to show you pleasure like you've never known before.  ;I'm going to coat my fingertips in conjured lube and push them into your body like a seeking probe.  ;I'm going to open you up like a flower before fucking you ohsoveryslowly with my fingers, and I'm not planning to stop until you've forgotten your own name and there is nothing you wouldn't give to have me buried to the hilt inside your body.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus' heartbeat sped up in reaction to the sensual assault that those words both delivered and prophesied.  ;Harry followed them to the letter, dismantling what was left of his sanity layer by layer, making him dance to the tune set forth by the incredible sensations that sunk his frame in what felt like a warm river of molasses.  ;Forcing him to surrender himself completely to the passionate adoration that shone down from Harry's eyes, covering him in a bright glow that could have rivaled summer sunshine itself.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Harry, Harry, Harry...” He chanted roughly, thoroughly incapable of remembering any other word in the English language. Unable to withstand the exquisite fire that was burning him from the inside out any longer.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>His senses reeled with the wonder of feeling himself possessed by Harry's probing fingertips. <br /><br /> ;He delighted in the beauty of having this man pander to his every needy gasp and shattered groan of desire, wrenching indescribable ecstasy from his body when he curled his fingers ever so slightly to the left and found the one spot that made Severus soar towards the heavens like a crimson plumed phoenix.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Don't stop!  ;Don't stop... ;please...  ;don't ever stop...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I won't, I swear.  ;I will never, ever, stop loving you, sweetheart.” Harry promised him fiercely, looking at him with possessive satisfaction before bringing their mouths back together to place such soft kiss on his lips that Severus felt it turn his very bones to mush as he lay there: spread open and utterly vulnerable under Harry Potter's strong body. Allowing himself the freedom of acting on the emotions that had been weighing his heart down for far too long with the unbearable burden of unrequited love. ;Daring to believe in the unimaginable miracle that this man, whom he so adored, happened to adore him in return.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I love you too, Harry Potter.” He whispered the truth against a reddened ear as soon as his mouth was set free and reveled in the exquisite smile that blossomed across Harry's lips as he pulled his skilled fingers off him and grabbed Severus' hands in a tight grip that sought to ground and reassure the small fluttering of anxiety that had begun to darken his jittery gaze as soon as he realized that the Gryffindor was now aligning the leaking tip of his hard cock with his carefully loosened hole.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Harry...” He whispered that one name without knowing whether he intended to beg the man to stop or to continue.  ;Realizing only that he wanted it to flow, unbidden, from his lips, in order to fill the suddenly tense silence with the familiar sound because he'd known that it would anchor him to this instant and this choice.  ;To this one moment in life when he'd decided to have faith and reach out for more than he deserved, for more than he'd ever dared to imagine he'll receive...</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Harry's hard flesh pushed inside him with a gentleness that broke him and he arched against the mattress, gritting his teeth in reaction to the burn that accompanied his lover's relentless invasion.  ;Brief pain made him gasp out loud despite himself, but the feeling didn't last because Harry kissed him then, diving into his mouth so profoundly that he had no other choice but to focus every fiber of his being on that demanding kiss.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Playful teeth raked the trembling line of his neck and jaw, bringing his reeling senses into a spinning spiral of sheer need and groaning surrender that only deepened when the man within him decided to pull almost all the way out of his body only to push back in, setting a tortuously slow rhythm that speared him atop a pinnacle of lust that he couldn't fight against.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Pleasure conquered him like a dark enemy, forcing him to open up further than he'd ever dared before and bare himself all the way down to the impossible dreams, terrible fears and crazy hopes that feed his often wounded soul. </p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>His eyes closed as he gave up on resistance altogether and allowed himself the utter freedom to just...be.  ;He became a slave to his own senses, a puppet brought to life for Harry's pleasure, a man who could not bear the awful knowledge that he had lived the first forty five years of his life without ever knowing the beauty of having someone make love to him like this, exactly like this: touching him as if there was nothing in the universe more precious or more fragile.  ;More important.  ;More... ;beloved. </p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>His pleasure crested so suddenly that he didn't have the time to do more than open ebonyblack eyes to stare directly into a world of emerald colored reverence.  ;A shocked gasp of incredulous bliss broke out of his lips just as Harry's callused hand settled around him, wanking him firmly once, twice, before his balls contracted, his chest froze and his senses blanked out in the throes of the most intense orgasm he'd ever experienced.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>His head shook from left to right as Harry rode him trough the storm laying waste to his mind and body, to his pounding heart. ;The hard cock within him kept him grounded to the world as he spurted creamy fire all over his own concave belly.  ;His eyes widened with exhausted arousal when the brat had the audacity to swirl a bold fingertip into the shallow dip of his belly button, coating it lightly with a small dollop of warm come before placing it in his mouth and savoring it like the most magnificent treat he'd ever tasted.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Harry...” He groaned, between shock and satisfaction, marveling at the incredibly arousing sight of the man who was still so fiercely embedded inside him, feeding himself his cooling come even as he pounded him into the mattress one more time. ;Two.  ;Three... ;before his powerful back arched upwards and he shouted out his completion with a toecurling sigh of lust that preceded the incredible sensation of his lover's liquid passion coating his insides with wet warmth.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Satisfied lassitude settled in the pit of his stomach as Harry's boneless form slumped forwards,<br /><br />settling above him like a living blanket.  ;Ragged breathing puffed against the pale skin of his collarbone, keeping his overwrought nerveendings on edge and making his flesh break out in goose bumps.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Messy tufts of silky dark hair tickled the underside of his jaw and he buried his long fingers in it, luxuriating in the wonderful certainty that he had a right to touch it just like this.  ;That his caress was both welcome and desired.  ;That he could give himself up to the need to seek<br />postcoital comfort without fearing the kind of scorn that had always been directed his way,whenever he'd attempted to deliver it before.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>The wild pounding of his heart began to slow down as one second turned into two and then three in the kind of contented silence that spoke of peace and... ;joy.  ;His fingertips continued to rake little burrows in Harry's hair and he delighted in the soft purring sounds that floated up to his ears.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Eventually, though, Harry moved carefully away, shifting backwards between his legs in a motion that allowed the spent cock still buried inside him to slip out with a soft gurgle.<br /><br /> ;Glowing green eyes met his own for the first time since their climax and there was such hope filling their depths to capacity that Severus had difficulty swallowing down the huge lump that the sight of so much... ;love... ;brought to his throat.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Harry waved his hand lazily over them, casting a mild <i>Scourgify</i> that erased every trace of their recent lovemaking, leaving nothing behind save the memories that were slowly sinking into his mind.  ;The bedcovers were carefully pulled over his bare body and his lover placed a playful little kiss on the tip of his nose before curling into his side and placing his messy head in the crook of his shoulder, proceeding to take a gigantic gulp of air before issuing a single, wobbly plea:</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Don't ever regret this, please, Severus.  ;Don't let me live through the horror of having to wake once again to the heartbreak of seeing you deny this beauty by ripping it away from your mind.  ;Don't let yourself surrender to the terror that once led you to reject the future that we can, so easily, have.  ;Fight for us, for this, my love... ;Hold onto the courage that will allow you to face the new day with the determination to embrace the glorious memory of this night, instead of turning your back on it.  ;I'm begging you...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus' dark eyes burned with the deep shame of regret and he tightened his hold around Harry's suddenly trembling shoulders, burying his pale face in his beloved's nest of wild black hair before planting a promise of forever in the shape of a brief, heartfelt kiss atop the crown of his lion's head.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I will remember this when the dawn comes, Harry.  ;I will remember every single touch, every kiss and every promise we both made.  ;Everything will be different this time around.  ;I will never again curse myself to forget you.  ;I promise.”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><center><br><b>(~*~)(~*~)(~*~)</b></br></center><br /><br /> <br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Severus twitched slightly as the first ray of sunlight tainted the fragile skin on the inside of his eyelids with a glowing pink color. ;He shifted minutely, reluctant to abandon the peacefulness of his dreams, but the light kept disturbing him, trying to drag him away from his restful slumber.  ;His mind began to lose the soothing grogginess of sleep and he blinked awake.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>His dark eyes opened a little, focusing sluggishly on the dancing dustdevils that floated, like goldencoated fairy dust, on the single beam of bright sunlight just above his head.  ;He smiled instinctively, lifting his longfingered hand upwards in a futile attempt to take hold of that delicate beauty.  ;His skin turned golden in the light and dust danced across his slightly curled fingers as he turned them around gently, trying to catch the warm sunlight with his hand.<br /><br /></p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“You do that every single time you wake up.” That softly whispered sentence shattered his<br /><br />sleepy contentment.  ;Intruding into his peaceful, sunlit world and making him frown with thunderous confusion.  ;He jerked in his bed and turned swiftly towards the voice only to find himself staring in shocked surprise at the naked man next to him.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Potter!  ;What on Earth...?”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Utterly terrified emerald eyes raked his blank features with disappointed heartbreak.  ;A small silence grew while Severus tried to shake off the sluggishness of sleep.  ;The Gryffindor closed his expressive eyes for a second and took a deep breath before looking back at him with crystalclear determination.  ;Potter lifted a visibly shaking hand towards his own, wrapping calloused fingertips around his still extended digits in such a simple gesture of clumsy reassurance that it brought a hundred small memories of touches just like this one to his sleep addled brain. </p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I've seen you wake up like this twice before, my love.  ;I thought it was beautiful the first time I witnessed it and it brought a lump to my throat when you did it again in the infirmary a few months ago.  ;Now I'm hoping that our third time will end better than the first two.<br /><br /> ;Please, Severus, please...  ;take a good look at me and try to remember...  ;us.”</p><br /><br /><p>That anxious little plea sank into his consciousness like a golden dagger, ripping apart the thick veil of sleepy fog that had momentarily confused him and bringing back the memory of the dazzling beauty they had shared the night before.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“You stayed with me after taking the antidote...” He whispered into the increasingly tense silence and was rewarded with such a gorgeous smile that he blinked in response to its mesmerizing brightness.  ;His lips curved into a small smile of his own and he untangled his fingers from Harry's.  ;Abandoning his previous, futile attempts to catch the elusive sunlight in order to press his potiontainted fingertips against the welcome solidity of his lion's lovely face, grinning from ear to ear at the small gasp his actions elicited.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Severus...”</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“It's you, Harry.  ;It has always been you...  ;I have spent all my life trying to catch the elusive light of sunrise in the palm of my hands and I've failed at it every single day.  ;I thought I was fated to darkness, but kept on reaching out stubbornly, trying to find a way towards the sunshine...  ;Trying to find a way towards...  ;you.”</p><br /><br /><p>A single tear formed at the corner of Harry's eye.  ;It trembled there for a second before falling onto his cheek, rolling down towards the pillow in a silent trail that painted his lion's face with overwhelmed emotion.</p><br /><br /><p>“I've been trying to reach you too, my love, and now I'm here.” </p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“Yes.  ;You are.  ;And you will stay, won't you?  ;I need you to stay.  ;I want to add more memories to the ones we've already created.  ;I want...  ;more, Harry.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Thank Merlin!” Harry exclaimed and flopped back on to the mattress to stare up towards the ceiling with a goofy grin that became relieved mirth with his next breath.  ;Severus lifted himself upwards and propped his bony form onto his forearm, curling his lanky frame around his softly laughing companion.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>“I like waking up to your laughter, Harry.” He whispered before placing a firm hand at the nape of his lion's warm neck in order to lift it just so, bringing that chuckling mouth within touching distance of his own and kissing it with the kind of carefree passion that he'd never bestowed on a lover before.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Their first, ever, morning kiss tasted slightly sour with morning breath and smelled like unwashed bed sheets and postcoital sweat.  ;It was tainted by the barelythere saltiness left behind by Harry's single emotional tear and fueled by the kind of desperate longing that had darkened their lives in the last few months, but it dragged a soft groan from both of them, despite it all.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>They smiled into their partner's mouth as their tongues clashed and tangled, adding such blissful happiness to their souls that the touch became the embodiment of sheer sweetness.<br /><br /> ;Sheer hope.  ;Sheer love finally fulfilled.  ;It was a kiss that changed their lives and shaped their future, bringing them to the unvoiced realization that there was nothing left to hide between them. ;There was nothing to regret.  ;Nothing for them to either abandon or attempt to forget ever again.</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>Night had come and stayed far too long in their lives, forcing them to fight tooth and nail in order to earn the right of being left finally alone, standing side by side before the sunrise.<br /><br /> ;Twin smiles curved their lips as they rolled playfully on the mattress, kissing each other breathless and basking in the warm sunshine that filtered in through the open window, painting them in golden beauty as the sun rose steadily on the horizon.  ;</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><p>They laughed like the children, feeling elated, excited, innocent and carefree.  ;Relishing the joy of being finally able to look not back, but forwards, towards the future they planned to spend together and the happiness that awaited them in this new day that had only just begun...</p><br /><br /> <br /><br /><center><p><b><big>The End.</big></b></p></center></p><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://snarryglompfest.livejournal.com/25725.html">COMMENT BACK AT LIVEJOURNAL</a></p></p><br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarryglompfest&ditemid=2279" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentstag:dreamwidth.org,2013-03-03:1978740:1903Glomp for lav1232014-02-21T23:39:53Z2014-02-21T23:41:41Zpublic0<b>Title:</b> Bound to Freedom<br /><b>Author:</b> Anonymous<br /><b>Word count:</b> 11,700<br /><b>Rating/Warning:</b> NC-17<br /><b>Warnings:</b> Referal to chan; <br /><b>Prompt:</b> I would love to read a fic where Harry suddenly starts coming into a lot of new powers and has to go to Snape to learn control. However, as he learns from him, he starts to discover the real Snape and falls in love. Problem is he now has to convince Snape.<br /><br /><b>Author Notes:</b> To my prompter: You had asked for Post-Hogwarts but that didn't want to work out, so I hope this will suffice. It was a fun prompt to work with and this fic really should have been more epic than it is.<br /><br />To the Glomfest Mods: Many, many thanks for patience and understanding from a late writer.<br /><br /><br /><br /> <br />"Potter! Detention!" Severus barked.<br /> <br />The young man behind the potion bench slumped slightly and sighed. He rubbed his forehead, he had a headache. "When?" he bit out.<br /> <br />"Tomorrow morning," Severus decided. "You will assist me in gathering potion ingredients."<br /> <br />"But it's Saturday morning and Quidditch tryouts!" Ron hissed behind him.<br /> <br />"Ron, don't make it worse!" Hermione whispered back.<br /> <br />Harry waved a hand behind his back that he hoped they understood. <i>Shut up!</i> he tried to convey.<br /> <br />"Immediately after breakfast," Severus said. "Be prepared to go into the Forest."<br /> <br />"Yes, sir," Harry said softly.<br /> <br />Over dinner, Ron ranted on about how unfair and arbitrary Snape was until Neville said in frustration, "Ron, stop! There's nothing you can do about it."<br /> <br />"But Harry's supposed to be the <i>Captain</i>!" Ron protested. "How can he do that if he's not there?"<br /> <br />"Start trials after lunch," Hermione suggested. "No big deal."<br /> <br />"The Slytherins have the pitch after lunch!" Ron moaned.<br /> <br />"Trade with them," Neville suggested.<br /> <br />Ron looked at Neville in horror, which Harry had to grin at. The look on Ron's face was spectacular.<br /> <br />"It's not funny!" Ron protested as Harry snickered.<br /> <br />"Your face is," Harry admitted. "Listen, it's not the end of the world. You run the try-outs, get someone else to be a backup Seeker and I'll get there when I can get there."<br /> <br />Ron looked pleased to be put in charge. He settled back to his dinner. "It's still not fair!" he muttered.<br /> <br />Harry shrugged. "It's <i>Snape</i>," he said. "It's never fair."<br /> <br />Ron was mercifully quiet that night in the common room, letting Harry do some homework while Ron played Exploding Snape with some of the fourth years. Ron wasn't studying for as many NEWTs as Harry and Hermione – well, no one was preparing for as many as Hermione, even Malfoy – so Ron had more free time than his two friends.<br /> <br />Harry left his room early for breakfast, hoping that, maybe if he was on time, that Snape might let him go before lunchtime. He ate oatmeal and bacon, washing it down with pumpkin juice.<br /> <br />He picked up the warm cloak he had brought with him. Even if was only late September, the Forest would be cool in the morning. He had already put on stout boots and a sweater before breakfast.<br /> <br />Standing in front of Snape's door, Harry took a deep breath. He knocked and waited.<br /> <br />Snape appeared in the doorway, similarly dressed and carrying a basket.<br /> <br />"Ready?" Snape asked.<br /> <br />"Yes, sir," Harry said softly.<br /> <br />They walked out into the Forbidden Forest in silence, Severus leading the way.<br /> <br />Severus stepped into a small open space in the Forest and stopped. Harry stopped just behind him.<br /> <br />"Bloody hell!" Harry swore.<br /> <br />"Bloody hell, indeed," Severus agreed.<br /> <br />Severus turned to face the young man. For young man he had become in the six years they had done this. At seventeen, Harry – for here it was 'Harry' and not 'Potter' – had grown taller and filled out very nicely.<br /> <br />In Harry's first year, Severus had instantly recognized the latent power in Harry. Dumbledore had had an inkling because he had used his position as Headmaster to have Hogwarts bind Harry's power. Voldemort had known there would be <i>something</i> about Harry Potter because of the thrice-damned prophesy, but Severus had ensured that Voldemort would never learn about Harry's hidden powers.<br /> <br />In that first year, Severus had completed a ritual which bound he and Harry together. He had taken the risk that he could protect their memories so no one would figure out what he had done until Harry was ready. The ritual had hidden Harry's power from both Dumbledore and Voldemort, and had given Harry the chance to grow up – relatively – free.<br /> <br />Crossing into their ritual space – the wards Severus had placed required they be there together – released the memories hidden from each of them. Severus had originally surmised that Harry would come into his powers at his magical maturation, usually about fifteen. But fifteen had come and gone with no sign of any change, and Severus had to wait. This year, it was apparent at seventeen that Harry was finally ready.<br /> <br />"Now what? Harry demanded.<br /> <br />"We have to complete the last part of the ritual," Severus replied. "There is an additional component that will release the bindings the Headmaster has on your magic and it will turn those powers over to us." He amended, "To you."<br /> <br />"I get a say in this?" Harry asked.<br /> <br />"We are partners," Severus said solemnly. His agreement with Harry from the start had been to be truthful. "And, to be honest, as you grow older, you will be more powerful and the dominant partner in our relationship. Something I outlined in the beginning but you may not have remembered."<br /> <br />Harry's eyes narrowed at that thought.<br /> <br />Severus waited. He didn't think Harry had it in him to be deliberately cruel, but he <i>had</i> been cruel to Harry. The nature of their public relationship had required it. Severus had hidden the bond even from himself, to better protect them both, and his natural negative reaction to James Potter's son had defined their relationship to date.<br /> <br />"Bugger," Harry swore softly.<br /> <br />"Going forward, we must continue our charade," Severus warned him. "The Dark Lord is still out there, somewhere, and there is a chance he can become powerful again." Severus held his arm out for Harry to see the Dark Mark that was there.<br /> <br />Harry looked carefully at the Mark then looked up at Severus. "How important is it for you to keep this?" he asked.<br /> <br />Severus shrugged. "Dumbledore thinks to keep me as a spy in Voldemort's camp," he admitted. "But I do not know if there is reason to…" Severus trailed off as Harry took his arm in one hand.<br /> <br />Harry hissed at the snake in the Mark, the snake moved and hissed back. Harry gripped Severus' arm forcefully and whipped his wand out to point at the snake. There was a sudden <i>release</i> as the snake on his arm suddenly broke into small, dark pieces that flew away, and the Mark disappeared. <br /> <br />"Better?" Harry asked, releasing his hold on Severus.<br /> <br />Severus flexed his arm, feeling the <i>lightness</i> that came over his entire body with the disappearance of the Mark.<br /> <br />"Much, thank you," Severus replied. "Although Voldemort will know it is gone."<br /> <br />"Too bad," Harry said flatly. "If we are to be for each other, if you are to be for me, then no one else can have a claim on you."<br /> <br /><i>Interesting</i>, Severus thought. The possessive tone of Harry's voice sent a chill up his spine. It was a good thing.<br /> <br />"We still have to do the Ritual," Severus reminded Harry.<br /> <br />"I may actually enjoy it this time," Harry gave a sly grin. "What do we have to do to release the bindings?"<br /> <br />Severus gave his own grin. "You need to come when I do," he said. "And there's a chant you have to say at the same time."<br /> <br />"Really?" Harry was interested in that. He had never come during the ritual, the first years being too young but the last two years he had barely gotten hard. Severus hoped that the lure of power would help Harry achieve an erection this time.<br /> <br />Severus ran Harry through his brief part of the Ritual and directed Harry to take off his clothes as he prepared the pentagram.<br /> <br />As he sat naked on the cloak he had spread on the rock they used as a platform, Severus looked appreciatively at the young man before him. Harry had grown and filled out over the years. Severus knew that the bond between them had not only protected Harry from Dumbledore and Voldemort, but also from the Muggles Harry was forced to live with. The bond had made sure that Harry was treated relatively well and decentlu fed.<br /> <br />Severus picked up the athame and the cup, and looked at Harry. "Ready?"<br /> <br />Harry nodded, "Yes!"<br /> <br />Harry came forward and Severus made a shallow cut in Harry's finger for the necessary three drops of blood. Severus added his own blood to the cup. The freely offered blood showed their willingness to participate in the ritual.<br /> <br />Severus held out a hand, Harry took it and straddled Severus' lap. Severus cast the charm for lubrication and loosening. Harry placed his hands on Severus' shoulders to steady himself.<br /> <br />Starting the chant, Severus focused on the words he needs to say, not the warm, lithe body under his hands. As he chanted, his cock filled and he positioned Harry above him. At the right moment, Severus guided Harry onto his cock and Severus had to ignore the soft "oh!" that Harry voiced.<br /> <br />Harry assisted Severus in moving, flexing his thighs to move up and down on Severus' cock. As the chant came to the critical moment, Severus saw that Harry was hard, leaking and ready. They both came and together chanted the ending of the ritual. Unseen by either Harry or Severus, a dark mist flowed from Harry's scar with a sharp whine. As is dissipated, a bright white light surrounded them, lighting up the open area they were in.<br /> <br />"It's done," Severus said softly.<br /> <br />Harry lifted his head from Severus' shoulder and hesitantly leaned in. Severus put a hand on the back of Harry's neck and guided him in for a soft kiss.<br /> <br />"Can we do this more often? And in a bed?" Harry asked eagerly.<br /> <br />"The problem will be in keeping it a secret," Severus replied. "The Headmaster is connected to castle and able to learn what goes on, mostly from the portraits but most of the House Elves are loyal to him. That means that we will not be able to see each other routinely. It is not, quite, against the rules for a teacher and a student to be in a relationship. However, since it is <i>you</i>, there are always different rules."<br /> <br />Harry sighed.<br /> <br />"On the other hand, you will need training to deal with your expanding power," Severus soothed. "We certainly will need to work on dealing with that."<br /> <br />"More detentions?" Harry grinned.<br /> <br />"I am afraid so," Severus replied with an answering grin.<br /> <br />Harry snuggled into Severus, "Don't want to move. Comfy." The wards around the space they were in kept the worst of the cool air away from them.<br /> <br />"We don't have to hurry back," Severus agreed. "Although you will have to face Mr. Weasley's displeasure in missing Quidditch try outs."<br /> <br />"Fuck," Harry said softly. "I'll deal with Ron."<br /> <br />"If you are not in a hurry, I would like to help you build an Occlumency shield," Severus offered. "It is best if you have your own shield. I will not have to charm your memories that way."<br /> <br />Harry looked wary, remembering their one disastrous attempt at Occlumency training at Dumbledore's request.<br /> <br />"This will be better," Severus promised. "I now know I was fighting teaching you true Occlumency before, the bond between us was not ready for it."<br /> <br />"If you're sure," Harry replied carefully.<br /> <br />"With the bond, it will be simple for me to teach you," Severus replied. "Take a breath and look into my eyes…"<br /> <br />Green eyes looked at him, trusting in a way that took Severus' breath away. Lily had looked at him that way, once, when he first explained about magic to her. Severus pushed that memory aside and gently pushed his mind toward Harry's. He quickly showed Harry the basics of building a shield and then withdrew.<br /> <br />"Oh!" Harry said softly. "That's not hard!"<br /> <br />"Then build a shield and keep me out," Severus said.<br /> <br />"Ready," Harry said, looking Severus in the eye.<br /> <br />Severus attempted to gain access to Harry's mind and just… slid off.<br /> <br />"Very good," Severus praised. "When your full shield is up, no one can get in, but they also know you have a shield. More subtle is setting up secondary memories so that the other person thinks they are gaining access to your mind but they only see what you are allowing them to see."<br /> <br />"Like setting up a decoy?" Harry tilted his head in thought.<br /> <br />"Yes," Severus replied.<br /> <br />"Give me a minute," Harry said. He was silent for almost five minutes, then said, "Try it again."<br /> <br />This time, Severus gained access to memories of Quidditch. Severus pushed further but couldn't get anything but Quidditch.<br /> <br />"Very good!" Severus was impressed. Harry had figured out how to create a diversionary memory just from a suggestion. "It is more than sufficient for all but the most talented Legilimens. Unfortunately, Dumbledore and Voldemort will fall into that category."<br /> <br />Harry shrugged. "You'll teach me," he replied. "What else do we have to do today?"<br /> <br />"That was the most important," Severus answered. "Any truly serious training, I must warn you that we will need to leave the castle."<br /> <br />"We could use the Room of Requirement," Harry offered. "We could make it invisible to Dumbledore." At Severus' inquiring look, Harry explained, "It's on the seventh floor, across from the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy trying to teach trolls how to do the ballet."<br /> <br />"I suspect <i>you</i> could make it invisible," Severus corrected gently. "But that is a good idea."<br /> <br />Severus eased Harry off his lap, casting healing and cleaning charms once Harry was on his feet.<br /> <br />They dressed in silence, and Severus cleaned the cup and the anthame.<br /> <br />The walk back to the castle was easier between them than the walk out. Inside the doors, Harry turned and hesitated.<br /> <br />"I will see you… Thursday evening," Severus said.<br /> <br />"Yes, sir," Harry tried for sullen but wasn't sure if he pulled it off.<br /> <br />It was too late for lunch, so Harry headed for the dorm. Quidditch practice was indeed over as Harry climbed into the portrait hole, the Gryffindor common room overflowing with good cheer.<br /> <br />"Harry!" Ron waved a hand, drawing Harry's attention.<br /> <br />"Sorry, mate," Harry said. "Se-.. Snape kept me forever!"<br /> <br />"We saved you a spot," Ron replied cheerily. "But I think it's a good team!"<br /> <br />Harry looked around the happy room. "Guess we'll see. Who made the team?"<br /> <br />"You're still Seeker," Ron said, "Although we think Ginny would make a good backup, if we need one. I'm still Keeper, Ginny and Dennis Creevy are Chasers, and Jamie Phelps and Matt Lewis are Beaters." Harry didn't know Jamie and Matt that well, being third year students, but they had been on his list of candidates for their large size, if nothing else. "And there's a short list of alternates for all the positions."<br /> <br />"Thanks!" Harry said, taking the illegal butter beer that someone shoved in his direction. "Good job!" He opened the bottle and took a swig of the not-quite-warm beverage.<br /> <br />"Sorry," Ron said. "Forgot to make it cold."<br /> <br />"Its fine," Harry waved a hand. "Tell me about the try outs."<br /> <br />Ron rambled on about the try outs, the others adding random bits as Ron would get sidetracked. It made for a fun afternoon.<br /> <br />"I need a shower before dinner," Harry put in. "I'll see you there?"<br /> <br />"Sure, I'm starving!" Ron said.<br /> <br />"When are you not?" Harry laughed, going up to his room.<br /> <br />In front of a mirror, Harry looked at himself. He didn't think he could see anything different, but he <i>felt</i> different. He'd have to be careful for the next few days until Severus…. Snape, he <i>had</i> to think of him as Snape, to protect them both. He'd have to be careful until Snape could give him some more training.<br /> <br />There was an informal party in the Common Room even after dinner, but Harry begged off and went to the Library to do some work.<br /> <br />"How did you escape?" Hermione whispered. "I didn't think Ron would have let you leave."<br /> <br />"I made him tell me everything this afternoon," Harry admitted. "That way, he's done his job and I can get some homework done tonight."<br /> <br />"What are you working on?" Hermione asked.<br /> <br />They compared notes and settled into some N.E.W.T. level Transfiguration homework. They exchanged ideas on the assignment and then settled in to start writing.<br /> <br />"Closing time," Madam Pince reminded them.<br /> <br />"Oh, sorry!" Hermione said. "Just have to pack up!"<br /> <br />Harry packed up his books and papers into his bag, and they left together. He let Hermione's chattering review of the homework assignment wash over him on the walk back to Gryffindor Tower.<br /> <br />Fortunately, the party had either wound down or moved elsewhere, there were only a few students in the Common Room. Harry bade Hermione good night and went up to his room.<br /> <br />Harry remembered to cast a silencing charm and close his drapes before he went to sleep. He hoped to dream of Severus.<br /> <br />In his chambers, Severus Snape stared at a glass of bourbon in his hand. He had abstractly known this day would come but he still had not been prepared for it. It had been a long six years since he started the bonding between them, but it had been a hidden memory from both himself and Harry. Until today.<br /> <br />Today, he was a free man. Well, free-er. He had traded his slavery to Voldemort – and in a way, also to Albus Dumbledore – to a life-long bond with Harry Potter. It was a vast improvement.<br /> <br />Knowing about the bond and the protection it offered to Harry, he thought back to some of the events over the years that, in retrospect, now made more sense.<br /> <br />The Chamber of Secrets still made Severus wince. How Dumbledore could allow students to be in the school when there was a Basilisk roaming free was still a mystery. While Harry had defeated the Basilisk, it was a narrow escape and Severus had to give the boy credit for seeking his help in dealing with the spectre of Riddle and his very tangible monster.<br /> <br />Sirius Black was another matter. He had escaped from Azkaban only to die saving Harry from Peter Pettigrew. The larger irony being that everyone had thought Pettigrew was dead and was now in Azkaban himself.<br /> <br />Another memory tugged at Severus… Ah! The Tri-Wizard Tournament! After the three champions had been chosen, the Goblet had flared like it was going to disgorge another name but it had given up nothing but a puff of ash. Severus wondered if the false Moody had anything to do with that. Dumbledore had been all chuffed when a battered Cedric Diggory had won the tournament.<br /> <br />All during that year, Severus had been worried that Voldemort would find some way to come back to life. His Mark had grown darker during the year, only to fade again with the coming of summer. Something Voldemort had planned had not gone right, Severus was convinced of that much.<br /> <br />At that point, Dumbledore had finally admitted to that bloody Order of the Phoenix that Voldemort had created fucking horcruxes! They had all scrambled for the next two years to figure out what Voldemort might have used and worked to banish the parts of the soul in the objects.<br /> <br />The members of the Order of the Phoenix had found six artifacts but Dumbledore kept insisting there should be seven. Severus had never disagreed with the theory, but no one had any ideas about what the seventh artifact could be.<br /> <br />Severus took a sip of his drink. Many things would change now that he and Harry had bonded. He stroked his arm, enjoying the clear skin there. Having had some time to digest the action, Severus felt calmer and more centered, in addition to the lightness he had felt initially. He had had the Mark for so long that he had not been aware of how much it had <i>eaten</i> at him.<br /> <br />Severus finished the bourbon and went off to get ready for bed. He had slept alone for many years but, tonight… tonight the bed was cold and lonely.<br /> <br />Harry took advantage of the Sunday morning to sleep in. It also let him avoid both Ron and Hermione – and himself – for a little longer. Harry knew he'd have to spend some time organizing the Quidditch team with Ron, then working on homework for the rest of the day. And it would be Monday before he'd have a reason to see Severus… <i>Severus?</i> Why did that sound so natural?<br /> <br />Harry sighed and turned over, closing his eyes to try to sleep some more.<br /> <br />"Hey! Thought you'd sleep all day!" Ron greeted Harry at lunch.<br /> <br />"Nah, just catching up," Harry replied, sliding into his usual seat.<br /> <br />"We need to schedule the pitch so we can practice," Ron went on. "You're the Captain and you have to do it for us."<br /> <br />Harry sighed. "Sure, we can draw up a plan after lunch and I can put it in to Madame Hooch," he offered.<br /> <br />Ron brightened up with that. "That'll be good." Ron babbled on about ideas he had for the team and Harry couldn't be churlish enough to make Ron stop.<br /> <br />The day alternately flew by and dragged on. Harry interacted with his friends but a piece of his mind was back in the Forbidden Forest, thinking about the ritual and what it might mean.<br /> <br />It wasn't until Tuesday afternoon that Harry realized the change in his magical power. In spite of being a wizard in a wizarding school, he really didn't use his magic that often.<br /> <br />"Finding one's animagus form the first time requires concentration, as well as an openness to the change," Minerva McGonagall lectured. "I want everyone to spread out, make yourself comfortable and quietly concentrate."<br /> <br />Harry and Hermione moved to chairs on the side of the room. Harry closed his eyes to focus…<br /> <br />"Harry!" Hermione shrieked.<br /> <br />"Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall said firmly, "hold still and breathe."<br /> <br />Harry looked up at the professor. It was odd seeing her in shades of grey instead of in color. He looked around. There was very little color at all. Then he took a breath and… whoa! The odors in the room hit him! He sneezed, trying to get the smell out of his nose. <br /> <br />"Now, I need you to focus on going back to your human form," she went on. "Picture yourself, think of how you look in a mirror. Ignore what you may be feeling in your form right now. That can be hard but you need to focus."<br /> <br />Harry listened to the sound of her voice and thought about his usual form and… changed back.<br /> <br />"Very good," McGonagall praised him. "Fifty points to Gryffindor for the successful transformation."<br /> <br />Harry sat back in the chair, suddenly tired. He turned and grinned at Hermione, "That was cool!"<br /> <br />"Harry!" Hermione breathed. "That was amazing!"<br /> <br />"What was it?" Harry asked. "I think it was a dog of some sort."<br /> <br />"A wolf, to be more accurate," Professor McGonagall said. "A gray wolf, I suspect, but I will need to have you change again to double check." As Harry moved, she said sharply, "Not now, Mr. Potter! You need to rest before you try that again. And don't do it without supervision."<br /> <br />Harry sat back in the chair and relaxed. "I am tired! That takes a lot out of you," he admitted.<br /> <br />"This is a good lesson for everyone else," Professor McGonagall explained. "If you do have an animagus form, the first change can be exhausting. It's also possible to get 'stuck' in your animagus form in the beginning. The abilities of your form can be distracting, which is why you should never attempt your first change without supervision."<br /> <br />"The smells were starting to get overwhelming," Harry replied. "It stinks in here. I mean… well, in my other form, it's smelly and confusing."<br /> <br />"The senses of your animagus form will often be very different from your human form," Professor McGonagall explained. "Once you find your form, you need to practice changing back and forth until it becomes automatic. Then you can focus on learning more about using the senses of your form."<br /> <br />Hermione turned to Harry and asked, "What did you do?"<br /> <br />Harry shrugged. "I don't know," he admitted. "I just thought about it and it happened."<br /> <br />Professor McGonagall looked at Harry oddly but went on to explain to the class more about the process and assigned homework. "Mr. Potter, I would like to set up some private lessons, if you would like. I think that would be useful to you."<br /> <br />Harry ducked his head, not wanting to be singled out. "If you think it would be helpful," he replied. "Thank you."<br /> <br />"I think it will be very important," she replied. "I will see you… Friday afternoon?"<br /> <br />Harry considered his schedule. "I think that will work. I'll be there," he agreed.<br /> <br />Over dinner that night, Minerva mention to Severus, "Mr. Potter found his animagus form in his first attempt."<br /> <br />Severus took a deliberate forkful of stew, and swallowed before answering, "Really? What form did he take?"<br /> <br />"I'm pretty sure it's a gray wolf," Minerva said. "I'm having him for private lessons starting on Friday."<br /> <br />"Interesting," Severus murmured.<br /> <br />"I… thought you would want to know," she replied.<br /> <br />Severus looked at her, trying for bland but overtly curious. "Mr. Potter is always doing unexpected things," Severus tried for a deflection.<br /> <br />"That is true, that is true," she nodded.<br /> <br />That night, Severus considered Harry's growing powers. Developing an animagus form at the first attempt was one manifestation of that. Good thing he had the brat in Potions tomorrow so he could assign detention and they could talk.<br /> <br />As Harry was going to bed that night, Ron said, "Hermione said you have an animagus form? A wolf of some sort?"<br /> <br />Harry shrugged. "Yeah, it was kind cool," he replied. "McGonagall's going to give me private lessons on it."<br /> <br />"Do you have time for that?" Ron looked worried.<br /> <br />"I guess I'll manage," Harry replied. He crawled into bed. "Should only be a couple of lessons, I would think."<br /> <br />"I hope so, mate, you already have enough to do," Ron said. "Good night."<br /> <br />"Night," Harry replied. Then cast the silencing charms, just in case.<br /> <br />Harry drank in the sight of Severus… Professor Snape, in the potions classroom. He went to his usual seat and placed his book bag under the desk. He dropped his head, to take a deep breath to steady himself.<br /> <br />There was something… different about the lesson today. Severus actually took a brief minute to <i>explain</i> what they needed to do before directing them to proceed with the potion.<br /> <br />"You are making a healing salve, one that Madam Pomfrey frequently uses in the Infirmary," Severus added. "It is a general healing salve for minor cuts and abrasions. Many of you have most likely had it used on you. If you perform satisfactorily, I will approve your batch for use in the Infirmary."<br /> <br />Harry could see Hermione's head jerk up at that. Severus had never offered an option like that to anyone, as far as Harry knew. The rest of the class stirred in interest.<br /> <br />"Show me what you can do," Severus purred.<br /> <br />They set to work, studying the directions carefully. While Severus didn't necessarily <i>help</i> anyone, he wasn't as vicious as he had been in the past. He also kept a closer eye on the class, making sure no one disrupted anyone else's potion.<br /> <br />Harry studied the directions and considered. He looked at the ingredients and thought about a change he wanted to make. It <i>felt</i> right.<br /> <br />In the end, his potion wasn't quite the bright green that it was supposed to be, but he was convinced it would be better than what the original potion would do. He scooped it into jars to turn in.<br /> <br />"Mr. Potter," Severus drawled. "That is not the described color."<br /> <br />"I think it's better," Harry replied firmly. Belatedly, he added, "Sir."<br /> <br />"And what makes you think that?" Severus said.<br /> <br />"It will do the same thing as the original but it has a soothing property that the original doesn't have," Harry said.<br /> <br />"Did you write down what you did?" Severus asked sternly.<br /> <br />Harry pointed to the annotated paper on the desk. "Yes, I did."<br /> <br />"I am not convinced. And, it is <i>you</i>, Mr. Potter. However, I am willing to discuss this with you," Severus said. "Tonight after dinner? Come to the lab." Severus swept away.<br /> <br />"Yes, sir," Harry bit his lip to keep in the smile that wanted to break out. He wasn't supposed to want to spend time with Severus.<br /> <br />In the hall, Hermione hissed, "Harry! You were going to finish up that Runes homework tonight! It's due tomorrow!"<br /> <br />"Snape shouldn't keep me all night," Harry rolled his eyes. "It's almost done anyway, I just have to check it over."<br /> <br />Hermione huffed. "If you're sure," she said.<br /> <br />"Hey! Watch it with Snape," Ron muttered. "We have Quidditch practice on Saturday! You can't afford to miss our first real practice! Don't get any more detention for the weekend."<br /> <br />"I'll be careful," Harry promised.<br /> <br />After leaving the rest of his books in his room but taking the parchment with the potion notes, Harry went off to dinner. After eating, Harry went to the lab, tapped on the lab door and walked in.<br /> <br />"Good timing," Severus said. "Come and look at this."<br /> <br />Harry peered into the cauldron. It was the potion they had been working on earlier, only the 'proper' color.<br /> <br />"Now, this is the traditional brewing of the salve," Severus said. "Tell me what you did differently, and why."<br /> <br />Harry brought out his notes and walked through the steps. "At this point, I had this… feeling? I added another two grains of oats, and stirred it an extra five times. Mostly to incorporate the extra ingredients."<br /> <br />"Did you cook when you lived with the Muggles?" Severus asked.<br /> <br />"Yeah," Harry shrugged. "I was their personal house elf."<br /> <br />"Well, the good news is that you never need to go back there again," Severus said. At Harry's look of pleased surprise, he asked, "What?"<br /> <br />"Really?" Harry smiled.<br /> <br />"Now that we've completed the bond, you can… do whatever you please," Severus admitted. "And you're seventeen, you're legally an adult anyways. You can do whatever you want."<br /> <br />"I never have to go back there?" Harry asked, dumfounded.<br /> <br />"Never," Severus promised. Although now that he was free from his own memory charms, he realized that Harry had always come back from the summer breaks thin and tired. Perhaps Lily's sister should be visited at some point.<br /> <br />"Thank you!" Harry breathed.<br /> <br />"Back to this," Severus drew Harry's enthusiasm back to the work. "I'm suspecting that you are a reasonable cook and never had any instruction?"<br /> <br />"Instruction?" Harry frowned. "I guess not, although Aunt Petunia did have a cookbook that I looked through when I was older. But they'd eat almost anything. Mostly meat and potatoes, and lots of it. So I never learned anything fancy."<br /> <br />"Well, your meager cooking skills, and the unbinding of your powers have made you more… intuitive about potions," Severus admitted. "What you've done is actually an allowable variation of the salve, usually brewed for very young or very old patients. Since we have neither here at Hogwarts, I generally use the 'basic' set of instructions."<br /> <br />"Cool!" Harry grinned.<br /> <br />"Sit for a moment," Severus directed, pointing to the stool in front of the bench. When they were settled, Severus waved his wand briefly and said, "<i>Muffliato.</i>" He put his wand away and explained, "No one can listen to our conversation now."<br /> <br />Harry thought for a moment and said, "Teach me that! If I use it around me kinda regularly, then no one should think anything of it when you and I use it."<br /> <br />"Good point," Severus agreed and walked Harry through the charm.<br /> <br />"Can I share this with Hermione and Ron?" Harry asked.<br /> <br />"It's relatively benign," Severus said. "The more power you put into it, the stronger it is, but anyone should be able to cast it."<br /> <br />'Thanks!" Harry answered.<br /> <br />Severus went on, "Professor McGonagall says you've found your animagus form?"<br /> <br />"A wolf! It was pretty cool!?" Harry grinned, remembering the transformation.<br /> <br />"Since you've already done that, you should continue to work with Professor McGonagall on practicing and moving in and out of your form," Severus said gently. "But... you need to be careful for a while, until we can figure out what unbinding your magical core has done to your control."<br /> <br />Harry sat up straighter and bit his lip. "I didn't even think of that," he replied. "She was explaining how to do the transformation and I just knew I could do it."<br /> <br />"That's the sort of thing I'm referring to," Severus pointed out. "We don't want to draw any unnecessary attention to you just as yet. Dumbledore will be hearing about your animagus form by tonight, if he has not already."<br /> <br />"And since I did it in class, no telling who will know about it," Harry realized. He closed his eyes in dismay. "Bloody hell, it'll probably be in the <i>Prophet</i> by the end of the week."<br /> <br />"Exactly," Severus said.<br /> <br />"Okay, I get it," Harry said. "I'll be careful."<br /> <br />"Until we can work on it, you'll have to be diligent to resist any… instincts to do things that aren't precisely part of your classwork," Severus went on. "Hopefully, it won't take too long, but at this point, you'll have to not do anything rather than show off anything extraordinary."<br /> <br />Harry shrugged. "Fail rather than succeed spectacularly," he interpreted. He looked at Severus, "And talk to you about it."<br /> <br />"Unfortunately, yes," Severus agreed.<br /> <br />"Good thing I'm only an average student then," Harry grinned. "If I were Hermione, that would be a different thing."<br /> <br />"It would indeed," Severus replied. "I have the hope that you will have a more instinctual ability, as opposed to Miss Granger's book learned ability. She will be good, but you will be much stronger and have more range than she ever will."<br /> <br /> "Okay, is there anything else?" Harry asked. "I have some homework to get done."<br /> <br />"Instead of detention on Thursday, you'll be helping me brew more salve for Madame Pomfrey," Severus said. "But the right way."<br /> <br />"That works," Harry agreed. "As long as it's not when we have Quidditch practice, please? Ron will go spare if I have to miss too many practices."<br /> <br />"I suspect I can work with that," Severus agreed. "Go do your other homework."<br /> <br />Harry surprised him by leaning in for a brief hug before he left.<br /> <br />Severus knew that he'd have to balance the 'needs' of the bond with letting Harry enjoy his last year at Hogwarts. He wasn't quite sure what they would do at the end of the year, he still had time to plan, but he knew they would both be leaving at the end of the year.<br /> <br />After casting a quick <i>Muffliato</i>, primarily to keep Dumbledore from learning what they were doing, Severus had Harry work on a different potion for Madame Pomfrey at their Thursday meeting. He gave Harry the instructions for the Fever Reducer and then asked Harry to work carefully and to talk aloud as he worked. And to voice any 'urges' he had to make any changes.<br /> <br />At one point Harry said, "I'd like to add more wormwood here."<br /> <br />"What do you think that will do?" Severus asked.<br /> <br />Harry tilted his head in thought. "It might… it'll serve as a general pain reducer, I think."<br /> <br />"Just the wormwood?" Severus probed.<br /> <br />Harry looked down at the instructions. "No, it also needs some… lemon grass? And some counter-clockwise stirring at the end."<br /> <br />"Again, not a new variation, but close to an acceptable variant," Severus replied. "It works well for patients with a fever related to an infection, rather than just a general fever."<br /> <br />"Hey! This can be fun!" Harry smiled.<br /> <br />Severus resisted rolling his eyes. "I've created a monster! Now, make the potion the way it is written out, please."<br /> <br />Harry giggled. "Okay, I get it, no messing with the potions."<br /> <br />"Only under supervision and with some discussion," Severus replied. "You have good instincts but you don't have the experience to understand the implications. That applies to all of your coursework at the moment."<br /> <br />"I know, I know," Harry sighed. "I went back the other night and wanted to re-write my entire Runes essay. I know what I had there was reasonable but there were suddenly all sorts of interpretations and options I wanted to include." He took a breath. "Although I did resist."<br /> <br />"It will be hard for a while, until you learn to balance your instinct and what you 'should' be doing," Severus replied.<br /> <br />"When it's something Ron and Hermione are in, I can try to work between them," Harry replied. "Better than Ron and not as good as Hermione."<br /> <br />"That's a good plan for now," Severus agreed.<br /> <br />Harry handed Severus a parchment. "This is the Quidditch practice schedule for now until Christmas," Harry said. "If you know when we have practice, then it's easier for you to schedule our sessions."<br /> <br />"Thank you," Severus replied, somewhat surprised he hadn't thought to ask Harry for the schedule.<br /> <br />"When can we work in the Room of Requirement?" Harry asked. "There's this… itching, I guess. My magic wants to do something and I think I need to work on that sooner than later."<br /> <br />Severus looked at the schedule and though about his own work. He did have papers to grade and more requests from Madame Pomfrey, although now he might ask Harry to assist him with that. "How about Sunday afternoon? Will that be soon enough?"<br /> <br />"Sure," Harry agreed. "I have to meet Professor McGonagall tomorrow and we have Quidditch practice on Saturday, but I'll do homework tomorrow night to make sure I have plenty of free time on Sunday."<br /> <br />"Meet me here and we can go to the room together," Severus said.<br /> <br />"Sure," Harry agreed.<br /> <br />Severus was better prepared for the hug today, returning it carefully. He had never been demonstrative but the bond and the proximity to Harry made it easier to accept the hug graciously. Harry hung on to him for a moment.<br /> <br />"Feels good to touch you," Harry muttered into his chest.<br /> <br />"The bond does that," Severus replied. "We will have to explore that, also."<br /> <br />Harry looked up at him, "You don't mind?"<br /> <br />"No, I don't," Severus said softly.<br /> <br />"Good! Then I can do this." Harry stretched up for a quick kiss.<br /> <br />"Brat!" Severus said fondly. "Now go, before it's too late."<br /> <br />"See you Sunday," Harry promised.<br /> <br />At dinner on Friday, Minerva casually said to Severus, "Harry is… different."<br /><br />Severus took a discrete breath before turning to look at her. "How?" he asked mildly.<br /> <br />"It's like… his magic is like that of an adult," she said carefully. "When we were working on his animagus form this afternoon, he had a level of control that I've rarely seen in a student his age."<br /> <br />"Have you talked to the Headmaster about it?" Severus probed.<br /> <br />"Harry's magical signature also had… it looked like a bond?" Minerva asked gently. "And, it felt like you."<br /> <br /><i>Damn.</i> He had worried about this.<br /> <br />"Would you like to join me for a drink after dinner?" Severus asked, thinking desperately. "This is a conversation we should have in private."<br /> <br />"I'd be delighted," Minerva replied with a small smile. "I have some bourbon you might like, come to my rooms about eight?"<br /> <br />"Certainly," Severus reluctantly agreed.<br /> <br />Severus tapped on Minerva's door and she called, "Come in!" She reached for a bottle and poured two glasses half full. "I suspect this will be an interesting discussion."<br /> <br />Severus sat down and took a sip of his drink. "I suspect it will be," he agreed. He got out his wand, "Do you mind?" he asked.<br /> <br />Minerva shook her head and Severus cast a strong privacy spell. Something Albus might ask questions about later, but he didn't want to be interrupted or overheard.<br /> <br />"How much do you know about Harry's background and living situation?" Severus started.<br /> <br />"Everyone knows about The Boy Who Lived and I remember Lily and James, of course," she answered. "I know Harry went to live with his Muggle aunt. I tried to protest that when Albus left him there, but he overruled me. But, well, other than that, not too much."<br /> <br />"The Muggles had treated Harry as nothing more than a House Elf and, while they didn't physically abuse him, there was no acceptance, much less love in his childhood," Severus elaborated. "They all bullied him and until Harry got his Hogwarts letter, he had lived in the cupboard under the stairs." Severus knew that the bond had protected Harry physically after that but he was now sorry he had to send Harry back there at all.<br /> <br />"Severus!" Minerva excaimed. "Did Albus know about this?"<br /> <br />Severus shrugged. "More than likely," Severus admitted. "Harry doesn't remember anyone checking up on him at all. Lily's sister never wanted him and Harry was painfully aware of that."<br /> <br />"Why didn't he say anything?" Minerva asked, plaintively.<br /> <br />"Who would believe him?" Severus asked. "And Albus had prattled on and on about needing to live with blood family to protect him against the Dark Lord. Harry had to feel like he had no choice."<br /> <br />Minerva huffed but had no argument she could make.<br /> <br />Severus took another sip of his drink and decided he needed to trust someone.<br /> <br />"Back in Harry's first year, I completed a ritual bonding ceremony with him," Severus said. Minerva's eyes went wide at that. "Yes, I know," Severus nodded. "But I could see the magical power that was in him even then and, well, I wasn't going to have him enslaved to either Dumbledore or Voldemort."<br /> <br />"So you enslaved him instead?" Minerva hissed.<br /> <br />"No, I did a <i>bonding</i> ceremony, and, as Harry grows older, he will be the dominant partner in our… relationship," Severus replied gently. "Someone, I'm assuming Dumbledore, had already put a binding on Harry's power before he even started at Hogwarts. He had done some accidental, wandless magic even as a child." He heard Minerva's intake of breath at that and nodded in understanding. "I put a memory block on that for both of us that held until this year."<br /> <br />"Harry's magical maturation?" Minerva guessed.<br /> <br />"He shows the signs for it, now that we've finalized the bonding and freed him from the binding," Severus agreed. He rolled up his sleeve to show his blank arm, "He removed the Mark before we even did the ritual."<br /> <br />"Severus!" Minerva gasped stretching out a hand, as if to touch him. "I've never heard of such a thing!"<br /> <br />"I know," Severus agreed, rolling his sleeve back down. "It's honestly a relief to have it gone."<br /> <br />"Do you think Voldemort is alive?" she asked.<br /> <br />Severus had to shrug. "At one point, it seemed so. During that damned Tournament, the Mark got darker and seemed like it wanted to activate. Then it didn’t, and it faded back to its previous state. I haven't made an effort to compare notes with anyone, obviously, but Karkaroff had come to me at one point worried about his mark getting darker. Once the Tournament was over, we didn't talk about it again."<br /> <br />"Now what?" Minerva asked.<br /> <br />"I need to work with Harry on his control," Severus admitted. "He had a new level of power that he's not used to handling and he needs to learn to… temper his reactions. He also has instincts that he needs to learn to manage. I'd prefer if he not attract Albus' attention until we're ready to leave at the end of the school year."<br /> <br />"Oh, I hadn't thought of that," Minerva replied. "Yes, you'll go with him, won't you?"<br /> <br />Severus nodded. "It's still new to both of us," he admitted. "I'm trying to let him take the lead to be comfortable with what we are doing."<br /> <br />Minerva looked at him with a knowing eye. She took out her wand, held it up with one hand and placed her hand on her heart. "I will keep your Secret – yours and Harry's – and assist you to the best of my ability. So Mote It Be." A white light flashed briefly around her.<br /> <br />Severus released a tension he had been holding in. "Thank you," he said. He had been worried she would insist on going to Dumbledore and he would have had to take some serious action to prevent that. He was glad to have her on their side.<br /> <br />"What are your more immediate plans?" she asked.<br /> <br />"I'm meeting Harry on Sunday afternoon to go to the Room of Requirement," he offered. "I need to test his basic abilities and start working on control."<br /> <br />"That explains his sudden ability to find his animagus form," Minerva realized.<br /> <br />"Indeed," Severus agreed. "And he's manipulating Potion recipes on the fly. So far, he's only changing them to known alternatives, but I can already see how he might make changes that will go outside the known variations. He doesn't have enough experience to understand the implications of what he is doing."<br /> <br />"Oh, my!" Minerva exclaimed.<br /> <br />"We've already talked about Harry's need to resist doing something… <i>different</i> without thought, but it will be hard for him to know what those limits are until we've had a chance to work on it," Severus explained.<br /> <br />"If there's something I can help with, do let me know," Minerva offered.<br /> <br />Severus considered. "It would draw less attention if you were to… request Harry work with you on something. I can only give him so many detentions before Albus will start to ask questions."<br /> <br />"Good point," she agreed. "Let me think of something I can do that won't gather too much attention. I'm already working with him on his animagus form, and there's less chance of something truly dangerous happening in the Transfiguration class. But I will certainly keep an eye on him."<br /> <br />"Thank you," Severus said.<br /> <br />"And how about you?" Minerva looked at him steadily over the rim of her glass. "What do you need?"<br /> <br />Severus should not have been surprised at the offer, but he was touched that she had thought to make it. "I'm not sure, to be honest," he admitted. "While it's technically been going on for a number of years, this is new to me, also. I've been so focused on keeping Harry safe and hidden from Albus, that I haven't had a chance to think of anything else."<br /> <br />"Make sure you take time for yourself," Minerva replied. "This is a change to you as much as to Harry. There's bound to be… repercussions."<br /> <br />Severus took a sip of his drink. "I know," he said slowly. "It's much too early to separate what is from the bond and what are natural reactions. I'm very aware that we have several years of uncomfortable relationship to overcome. I'm hoping that the focus on Harry's more immediate problems give us time to work past that."<br /> <br />Minerva looked at him with merriment in her eyes. "Who are you and what have you done with Severus Snape?" she asked.<br /> <br />"I…" he hesitated. "Between the removal of the Mark and finalizing the bond, I've had a weight I didn't even know exist lifted from me. Knowing that we will leave Hogwarts at the end of the year lets me consider options I've never had a chance to think about. It's… liberating."<br /> <br />"Good!" Minerva approved.<br /> <br />Severus left a while later, bemused to have not only Minerva's assistance, but her approval for what he was doing.<br /> <br />Harry spent Saturday anticipating his time with Severus, so much so that he had to force himself to focus on the Quidditch practice. He decided to mix the lead players and the backups together right from the beginning, mostly so there was less confusion if any of the backup players needed to play at the last minute. He set Ginny to be the Seeker on the other team and he played Seeker with the newer backup players.<br /> <br />They halted the game several times to discuss strategy. Harry let everyone make suggestions about what might work best in certain circumstances, remembering how boring it had been when Oliver Wood would try to dictate complex strategy at them.<br /> <br />Harry made everyone take a turn as Keeper, for at least a few minutes. None of the positions were easy and he knew they'd give Ron less grief when they understood how hard being Keeper was. Ron had a good day, keeping out more attempts than anyone else, and he was in high spirits.<br /> <br />"Good practice!" Ron enthused.<br /> <br />"That was fun!" Ginny added. The others nodded as they moved to the locker rooms to leave their equipment.<br /> <br />Harry let the excited chatter wash over him. It felt good to be part of the team but he couldn't wait to be alone… to think about Severus.<br /> <br />Hermione dragged Harry to the Library after dinner to work on their Runes project. It let Harry focus on his homework and get more of it done than he might have otherwise.<br /> <br />At lunch on Sunday, Harry had to make excuses to both Ron and Hermione to escape.<br /> <br />"Snape wants me to brew that potion properly," Harry tried to put the right level of frustration in his voice. "I did it okay the other night but he's making me do it again."<br /> <br />"At least he didn't interfere with Quidditch practice," Ron muttered. Harry wanted to laugh at Ron's one track mind.<br /> <br />Hermione huffed. "But if you did it right the other night, you shouldn't have to go back!" she huffed.<br /> <br />Harry shrugged. "It's Snape," he said. "No explaining it."<br /> <br />Hermione turned to Ron, "Then we can work on Herbology while Harry's off with Snape."<br /> <br />Ron rolled his eyes but didn't protest. He brightened, "Maybe we can work with Neville. He'll know more about what needs to be done."<br /> <br />"He's studying with Luna," Hermione replied. "But maybe we can join them in the Library."<br /> <br />Grateful to be let off relatively easily, Harry waved goodbye and headed to the Potions lab.<br /> <br />Severus was waiting for him, grading papers. Harry thought he seemed relieved to have a reason to stop.<br /> <br />"Ready?" Severus asked.<br /> <br />"Yes," Harry said.<br /> <br />"Lead the way," Severus directed.<br /> <br />Harry led him in a somewhat circuitous route, mostly to ensure they would not be seen together. Neither wanted to have to explain to anyone what they were doing.<br /> <br />Reaching the seventh floor, Harry paced back and forth in front of the blank wall. On his third pass, a door shimmered into existence.<br /> <br />"We can go inside," Harry directed. "Hopefully, I've asked the room to not report anything to Dumbledore. Not sure how that works."<br /> <br />"There's an incomplete explanation of the relationship between the Headmaster and the school in <i>Hogwarts: A History</i>," Severus explained.<br /><br />"I guess I have to break down and actually read that book," Harry admitted.<br /><br />Severus looked around at the room they had entered. There were two chairs around a small table at one end with a pile of pillows stacked against the wall. The rest of the room was empty, to give them space to move around.<br /> <br />Harry shrugged. "Should do," he said.<br /> <br />"It will be fine," Severus assured him. "Let us start with some basics. Simpler spells will let me know what we might be working with." He tossed a pillow in the middle of the floor. "Levitate the pillow the way you normally would."<br /><br />Harry pointed his wand at the pillow and said, "<i>Wingardium Leviosa.</i>"<br /><br />The pillow shot into the air, hit the ceiling and burst. A snowfall of feathers came down on Harry's head.<br /><br />"Oopps!" Harry grinned.<br /><br />"Exactly the sort of thing we do not want to have happen in class," Severus replied. "Can you fix it?"<br /><br />Harry tilted his head in concentration, waved his wand and said, "<i>Reparo</i>." Feathers swirled through the air in a rush and the pillow was sitting again on the floor.<br /><br />"Good," Severus said. "Now, do the spell again, but try to think about the level of power you are putting into your spell. Turn it down, if you can."<br /> <br />"Huh," Harry replied. "No one's ever really talked about levels of power, just doing spells." He paused for a moment, pointed his wand and said softly, "<i>Wingardium Leviosa</i>."<br /><br />The pillow shot up again but it stopped when Harry frowned in concentration. It hung in the air above his head. When Harry relaxed, the pillow continued its upward travel, smacking against the ceiling but not bursting.<br /><br />"Better than I would have expected," Severus admitted. "And for most students, even for most wizards and witches, fine levels of control is something you learn as you get older. You, however, have enough power that you need to learn control sooner than most."<br /><br />"Oh, great," Harry muttered. "Something else to learn."<br /><br />"You've already alerted Professor McGonagall," Severus had to tell him. "Your ability to find your animagus form and her private tutoring with you has already led her to me."<br /><br />Harry looked up in alarm. "Do we need to do anything about that?" Harry asked.<br /><br />Severus warmed at the automatic <i>we</i> that Harry used, and shook his head. "I have already admitted our… relationship to her and, while I know she has reservations, she will not only keep our secret but help us."<br /><br />Harry's face lit up. "Really? That's good," he grinned.<br /><br />"She also understands our desire to not have the Headmaster learn about us too soon," Severus added. "You may talk to her about anything you do not feel comfortable coming to me for."<br /><br />"Thank you," Harry said. He looked down at the pillow lying at his feet. "Talk to me more about control."<br /><br />They spent the afternoon working on the one spell. Harry was drooping and tired when Severus called a halt.<br /><br />"Enough for today," Severus said. "You are doing well, but it will be a matter of practice. But you'll have to think about your control all the time."<br /><br />"That's going to be the hard part," Harry admitted.<br /><br />"You'll get it," Severus replied. "It's just a matter of practice."<br /><br />"I'll try," Harry promised. He hesitated for a moment and then moved toward Severus. "Is this okay?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around Severus.<br /><br />Severus held on to Harry, inhaling the warm – if sweaty – scent of the young man. "This is good," he admitted.<br /><br />Not looking up from where his head rested on Severus' shoulder, Harry asked hesitantly, "I know what I said… out there. If you want… more…"<br /><br />Severus hugged Harry tighter for a moment then relaxed again. "I'm more than willing to wait for you," he said gently. "This is an adjustment for both of us and we certainly don't have to rush anything."<br /><br />Harry relaxed in his arms, snuggling closer. "I do want to… eventually," he admitted. "Just… it's a lot to take in."<br /><br />"The bond will push us together," Severus replied. "But it's already set in place and it won't ask anything we're not ready for."<br /><br />"Good to know," Harry admitted. <br /> <br />Harry left first, giving Severus a moment to review what they had done. <br /><br />At dinner, Severus murmured to Minerva, "Perhaps we could meet for a drink after dinner?"<br /><br />"Certainly," she agreed.<br /><br />Severus tapped on the door to her rooms and went in. She handed him a drink before he even sat down.<br /><br />"How did it go?" she asked.<br /><br />Severus took a sip of the bourbon and sighed. "Harry has so much power that he desperately needs to learn control and I'm not sure I'm the one to do it for him. I can only do so much," he admitted. "He's going to do something that Dumbledore can't ignore at some point."<br /><br />"Then you have contingency plans," Minerva said practically. "What will you do when Dumbledore stumbles across your secret before the end of the school year?"<br /><br /><i>Damn. He wasn't thinking.</i> He grimaced. "I should have thought of that," he agreed. <br /><br />"You're too close to Harry, and it's happened too quickly, for you to have a chance to think about it," Minerva pointed out.<br /><br />"That is true," he agreed. "I'll have to talk to Harry about what we should do."<br /><br />"If there's anything I can do," Minerva offered, "do not hesitate to ask."<br /><br />"Thank you," Severus was grateful.<br /><br />On their next Thursday night 'detention', Severus brought up the need for contingency plans.<br /><br />"Oh," Harry exclaimed. "I wouldn't have thought of that."<br /><br />"It was actually Professor McGonagall's suggestion," Severus had to admit. "But it's an excellent idea. We need to think about what to do when Albus finds out about you."<br /><br />Harry frowned. "I don't want to leave my friends, but you're more important," he said. "And I can see Ron and Hermione away from Hogwarts."<br /><br />"Depending on what happens, we may even need to leave England," Severus warned. "For at least a while."<br /><br />Harry stared at him. "Really?" he said. "I've never been anywhere. I'd like to travel."<br /><br />It was Severus' turn to frown. "It's not always glamorous, and if Albus gets the Ministry to come after us, we might never be able to return."<br /><br />Harry shrugged. "We can worry about that when we have to," he replied.<br /><br />"The first thing we need is an emergency plan," Severus said. "If Albus finds out next week, we wouldn't be ready to go anywhere."<br /><br />Harry considered. "I know there's money in my vault," Harry said. "I would think we could get some help from Gringotts if we need it."<br /><br />"It's a Hogsmeade weekend coming up," Severus said. "There's a small branch in town that we should visit so that we're not cut off from our funds."<br /><br />"I know there's Black money, also," Harry grinned. "I've never wanted to know, mostly so the Dursleys' don't get their hands on it. I suspect it's time I checked into that."<br /><br />"We can check on that," Severus agreed. "You also need to be ready to leave at a moment's notice," he went on. "I don't think we'd be in immediate danger, but better to be prepared than not."<br /><br />"I do have some things I'd prefer not to leave behind," Harry said slowly. He thought about Hedwig, his father's Cloak, the pictures he had of his parents, and his broom. <br /><br />"Make a list of the things you could possibly take with you, what you could hide until you could get back to it," Severus directed. "And think about how you might charm your trunk so that no one could get into it. That would be useful."<br /><br />"Oh, good idea," Harry agreed. "Maybe we could ask Professor McGonagall to take care of it for me."<br /><br />"That should work," Severus replied. "As your Head of House, she would be responsible for anything left behind."<br /><br />"What about your things?" Harry asked.<br /><br />"I only have a few things that I would be loath to leave," Severus admitted. "And I also will ask Professor McGonagall to take charge of them for me."<br /><br />"Will she be okay after we leave?" Harry asked.<br /><br />"She has promised to do what she could for us," Severus said. "We have to trust someone."<br /><br />"We could put a ward about your rooms so that no one else would be able to get in," Harry offered. "You could teach me what to do."<br /><br />"I will investigate that option," Severus replied. "Now, on to tonight's potion."<br /><br />The trip to the Gringotts branch in Hogsmeade stunned them both. <br /><br />"I have <i>what?</i>" Harry stammered.<br /><br />"Besides your school vault, there is the Potter family vault, and two Black vaults, as well as…" the Goblin looked the parchment in front of him, "… five properties. The Black family home at Grimmauld Place, your family home in Godric's Hollow, the Potter family estates, a farm in Scotland and a sea side cottage in France."<br /><br />Harry sat back. "Whoa," he breathed. <br /><br />Severus was just as stunned. "We did not realize the… extent of Mr. Potter's holdings," he admitted.<br /><br />"It's fairly self-managing at this point," the Goblin, Swordbuilder, replied. "You have a manager within the bank that I can ask to come out and meet with you, if you would like. He can go into more detail, since he's been managing it for you."<br /><br />"I… I will think about that," Harry sat back. He looked at Severus, "I think this takes care of a number of things."<br /><br />"It does," Severus reluctantly admitted. He had an adequate amount of savings, but the vast wealth Harry now had at his fingertips was staggering.<br /><br />Harry sat up. "I would like Professor Snape to have unlimited access to… the Potter family vault," Harry directed. "We both need whatever documents are needed for international travel and we need Muggle credit cards so that if we go into Muggle banks, we can access at least a portion of the funds."<br /><br />Swordbuilder scribbled notes. "I can do that," he said. "Since the Potter family vaults are hereditary, it would be simpler if you made a withdrawal from the Potter vaults and places that in a separate vault for Professor Snape."<br /><br />Harry shrugged. "That works for me," he agreed. "Set that up and deliver the key to the new vault directly to Professor Snape."<br /><br />"Harry, you don't need to…" Severus started to protest.<br /><br />"I don't plan to, but if we get separated, you need some money you can readily access," Harry said. He looked Severus in the eye. "Let me do this."<br /><br />Severus saw how serious Harry was and nodded. "That will be fine," he agreed.<br /><br />Harry went back to meet up with Ron and Hermione at the Three Broomsticks, while Severus went back to his patrol as one of the weekend chaperones.<br /><br />Harry and Severus worked out an irregularly regular schedule for their meetings. Harry spent most Friday afternoons with Professor McGonagall. Once they had worked on Harry's animagus form, they moved on to also working on Harry's control of his powers. It only took a couple of weeks for Harry to settle his animagus powers but Harry told everyone "that first time was a fluke and it's harder than I thought" so they wouldn't question the time he was spending with his teacher.<br /><br />Harry unobtrusively turned most of the Quidditch practice over to Ron. He kept Ron actively involved in the practices and developing strategy, knowing that at some point that Ron might have to take over for him.<br /><br />It was a snowy December afternoon when Harry got a note from Dumbledore requesting his presence in his office that evening immediately after dinner. Harry looked up at the front of the room, watching as Severus opened a similar looking message.<br /><br />Harry turned to his friends, "Listen, Dumbledore wants me for some reason and I need to grab something from my room before I go there. Ron, come with me?" he asked. He hoped that if the two of them left together, that Dumbledore wouldn't think too much of it.<br /><br />"Sure," Ron agreed readily. He finished eating and washed it down with a huge mouthful of pumpkin juice. "Ready."<br /><br />They hurried up to Gryffindor's Tower together. Harry packed what few belongings that weren't in his trunk and turned to Ron.<br /><br />"Listen, I may need to leave…" Harry said.<br /><br />"Harry! What's going on?" Ron demanded.<br /><br />"It's a long story that I can't tell you, but I need you to hang out here for a bit so you can answer truthfully that you don't know anything," Harry said.<br /><br />"But I don't know anything!" Ron protested.<br /><br />"Ron, I just need you to do this," Harry said. "Trust me?"<br /><br />"Of course I do!" Ron exclaimed.<br /><br />Harry threw an arm around Ron and said, "You've been a good mate. Take care of Hermione and the Quidditch team. I'll send you a letter when I can. And if it's nothing, then I'll be back later and I'll tell you about it."<br /><br />"Okay," Ron said reluctantly.<br /><br />Harry shrunk his trunk and put it in a pocket. He stuffed the Invisibility Cloak in a back pocket, in case they needed it. <br /><br />"I'll see you later," Harry said. He didn't want to think how much <i>later</i> it might be.<br /><br />"Take care," Ron replied, sitting on his bed.<br /><br />Harry made his way to the Headmaster's office, not dawdling but not hurrying. The gargoyle at the base of the stairs leapt aside when Harry said the password, "Butterfingers."<br /><br />As Harry had been half-afraid, Severus and Dumbledore were both in the office. Severus gave nothing away and Dumbledore said, "Harry! Come in!" He held out a dish. "Lemon drop?"<br /><br />"No, thank you," Harry said. "What's going on?" He sat in the other chair in front of Dumbledore's desk.<br /><br />Dumbledore looked at them both, taking his time. He looked at Harry and Harry felt a pressure on his mind. He had learned to keep at least a partial Occlumency shield up all of the time and he had put up his full shield when he had gotten the message at dinner.<br /><br />"I see you've learned Occlumency," Dumbledore commented. "You do that well."<br /><br />"Thank you," Harry replied. "Professor Snape was helpful."<br /><br />"Ah! You and Professor Snape seem to have… settled some differences you had," Dumbledore commented.<br /><br />Harry shrugged. "I've learned a few things," Harry said. "We get along okay, I guess." He slumped down in the chair slightly.<br /><br />Dumbledore looked at Harry thoughtfully. "You've been spending a lot of time with Professor Snape," he said.<br /><br />Harry rolled his eyes. "Everyone knows I get detentions just for breathing," he grumbled. <br /><br />"But if you're getting along better, why would you have so many detentions?" Dumbledore replied.<br /><br />Harry shrugged. "Well, I'm pants at Potions, I'll take all the help I can get," he said.<br /><br />Dumbledore turned to Severus. "And how is Harry doing in Potions?" he asked.<br /><br />"Mr. Potter is slightly better than he has been in the past," Severus allowed. "I do have to think that he's finally taking it seriously and putting more time into it."<br /><br />"And why would you need the Room of Requirement for Potions lessons?" Dumbledore asked.<br /><br />"Mr. Potter's skills in Potions are uneven enough that the Room protects him from any… mishaps he may have," Severus offered.<br /><br />Dumbledore sat back. "And the bond between you?" he asked softly enough to be dangerous.<br /><br />"Is between us," Severus replied calmly.<br /><br />"I would think that if it were to be known that Harry Potter had formed a bond with a known Death Eater, that there would be… repercussions," Dumbledore suggested.<br /><br />"Who's a Death Eater?" Harry asked, trying for innocent. "I'm certainly not one. Se- Professor Snape isn't a Death Eater. Why would anyone care?" Harry knew Dumbledore hadn't missed Harry's almost slip. He held his breath.<br /><br />"Severus?" Dumbledore nodded at him. <br /><br />Severus carefully rolled up his sleeve to show off his Mark-free arm. <br /><br />"Interesting," Dumbledore said, eyes narrowing. <br /><br />"Anything else, Headmaster?" Severus said, rolling his sleeve back.<br /><br />"I will have to report your bond to the Ministry," Dumbledore said calmly. "Unless you would like to explain."<br /><br />"And why would the Ministry care?" Harry asked. He was more curious than anything.<br /><br />"Bonds with an underage student are… frowned upon," Dumbledore said. "It is to protect you as well as to protect he school."<br /><br />"I'm seventeen!" Harry protested. "That isn't underage!"<br /><br />"Perhaps not," Dumbledore allowed. "But now that you have a relationship with Professor Snape, he is not allowed to be your teacher any longer."<br /><br />"Well, that sucks," Harry pouted. "I don't understand why you have to report anything. We've been doing fine."<br /><br />"I will admit that I've just recently realized what might be going on," Dumbledore said. "But at this point, you either have to break the bond, if that's even possible, or I have to separate you." He paused. "For your own good, of course."<br /><br />"And if we don't cooperate with you?" Severus asked, silkily.<br /><br />Dumbledore waved a hand. "Then it's out of my control."<br /><br />"May we discuss the options?" Severus asked. "I may be able to persuade Mr. Potter to cooperate."<br /><br />Harry bit back a <i>Fuck, no, I won't cooperate!</i> He had to trust Severus.<br /><br />"I need an answer in an hour," Dumbledore replied firmly.<br /><br />"That will be sufficient," Severus said. "Come, Harry. We can discuss this elsewhere."<br /><br />Harry stayed silent on the walk to Severus' rooms. Once inside, he set the strongest privacy ward he could.<br /><br />"I think it would be best if we left now," Severus said. "Albus will try to turn me over to the Ministry, both as a test subject for removing the Mark, as well as to remove me from you."<br /><br />"I packed my things already," Harry admitted, patting a pocket. "I can leave now, if you'd like. Although I could use a cloak, if you have one I can use."<br /><br />"We probably should move quickly," Severus decided, going into the bedroom to gather some things he wanted to take with him. He handed Harry a cloak to wear. "When we don't come up to see him in the hour, he'll set everyone looking for us."<br /><br />"In an hour, we can be anywhere," Harry said. <br /><br />"Let me send a message to Minerva, to let her know we're going," Severus said. "Do you want to leave a message for your friends?"<br /><br />"I kinda said good-bye to Ron before I went to Dumbledore's office," Harry admitted. "I didn't tell him anything but he knows I may not be back. I'll send Hermione a letter once we've settled somewhere."<br /><br />"Are you sure?" Severus probed.<br /><br />"Yes," Harry replied. He went over to Severus and put his arms around him. "Anywhere with you."<br /><br />"Brat," Severus said fondly, dropping a kiss on his head. "Then we'll go."<br /><br />He released Harry and went over to his Floo. "Minerva McGonagall's office," he said when he had thrown the powder in.<br /><br />"Yes, Severus?" Minerva asked. <br /><br />"The Headmaster has decided that Harry and I must break our bond or at least separate," he said baldly.<br /><br />"I understand," she replied, sadly. "Keep in touch?"<br /><br />"We will," he promised.<br /><br />Severus closed the Floo, and looked around his rooms. "I think we're all set."<br /><br />Harry set the ward so that no one but Professor McGonagall could enter the rooms, and even then she could not invite anyone else into the rooms, only go in herself.<br /><br />They quietly left the castle, and walked to the edge of the Apparition wards. <br /><br />Severus put an arm around Harry. "Where would you like to go first?"<br /><br />"How about someplace warm?" Harry suggested, looking up at the leaden sky. "Dumbledore won't expect us to go to London. From there we can travel anywhere."<br /><br />"Some sunshine and warm temperatures would be welcome," Severus agreed. "Hang on."<br /><br />Harry wound his arms around Severus' waist.<br /><br />They Disapparated in a swirl of magic and snow.<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://snarryglompfest.livejournal.com/25176.html">COMMENT BACK AT LIVEJOURNAL</a><br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarryglompfest&ditemid=1903" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentstag:dreamwidth.org,2013-03-03:1978740:1552Glomp for hiimrobyn2014-02-19T20:55:08Z2014-03-06T19:37:07Zpublic0<b>Title:</b> Black and Golden<br /><b>Author:</b> Anon<br /><b>Prompt Number:</b> 5<br /><b>Rating:</b> NC-17<br /><b>Word Count:</b> About 10000 words<br /><b>Warnings:</b> Language, homosexual theme, fluff<br /><b>Summary:</b> Black and Golden, or how Harry Potter decided something needed to be done and so, resolved to harrass Severus Snape into submission<br /><b>Author's Note:</b> First fic ever x3 Thank you for reading! If you want to jnow more about this fic, please read the header! =P Happy reading! <br />Beta'd by Tomo-chan<br /><br /><br /><br />Once upon a time, Harry Potter decided something needed to be done and so, resolved to harrass Severus Snape into submission.<br /><br /><br />This would probably be the title of my book if I had one, which I don't by the way. Though Ron keeps telling me I would sell millions of them, I don't feel they need any more details on my life thank you very much. <br /><br />Here I am, Harry Potter, once more facing a door, the resounding BANG still echoing in my eardrums. I sigh...I tend to sigh a lot these days, really. I might as well get you in my story, as uninteresting as it may be.<br /><br />Last year had been what I can clearly call one of the worst year ever. Though it was a tie, with the year before when I was given as food to a very angry dragon, stole its egg, nearly drowned, lost myself countless time in the creepiest maze ever and got cut and touched by Voldemort while stomping over his own father's remnants while he himself was stomping over Cedric's dead body...a tie indeed. But last year had been...I don't even know why I keep refering to it as "last year" when the worst part actually happened a couple months ago...anyway, it had been a bit harsh on me. I still can't get over the guilt and the grief of having killed my own godfather and I probably won't. Seems really unlikely from where I'm standing. <br /><br />Ron and Hermione are still there for me but they understand I need time so they let me keep to myself for now. It's not the case for most people really... Now they know I'm actually not a lying attention seeker, I'm getting stalked, embraced, hailed, apologized to and every possible human interaction you can think of. It's driving me mad! They don't know a single THING of what happened there, they don't know about the crucio I yelled to this friggin' mad bitch, they don't know shit about what their precious golden boy is feeling. I may pass for an angsty teenage boy but hell... even I admit that's what I AM! But let's not duel on that for now. The thing is, I did learn something, and I wasn't going to forget about it anytime soon either. My mind had to be closed. It had to be sealed, hid, burried, impervioused to any attempt at revealing it, I wouldn't be the death of any more friends of mine, nor anyone's really. Lesson learned, thanks very much Fate. <br /><br />My problem is, Dumbledore might have been happy about my resolve to resume occlumency, but Snape wasn't... in-the-LEAST. I asked Dumbledore...alright I begged him, to teach me occlumency himself, but the old fool kept telling me his mind isn't what it used to be, that he was too old for this, excuses, a hell lot of them too! Though he did look sick, his blackened hand wasn't something I was ready to face anytime soon. He kept thinking me a fool, saying it was nothing but a stupid accident and kept changing the subject and making me forget with lemon drops, but I knew it was anything but. Yet here I am, knowing Snape is my only choice, knowing this hateful, spiteful dongeon bat is the only hope for me to stop being a time bomb for my friends and here HE was going out of his way to slam the door in my face and avoid me!<br /><br />........<br /><br />Alright, I DID look through his pensieve...once. I DO admit it wasn't the most intelligent thing to do especially when said pensieve belongs to an ex deatheater, possibly STILL deatheater hating my guts and yet, yet I don't think I actually regret it. I do regret my lack of... finesse in this matter, after all it would piss me off royally to find someone like Malfoy nose deep in my thrice damned memory but the man DID spend 3 hours delving into mine so....alright that's a lame excuse, I was curious I know I keep getting into troubles but I SWEAR they find me faster than I find them! <br /><br />As I was saying, I don't actually regret it, because it showed me what Snape had always told me about my father, that he was a big-headed, bully of a prick. And that did hurt to know that. It felt weird to realise my father and mother knew Snape, that my mother happened to have been friend with him way before she actually met my father. I wonder if they ever talked again after he insulted her...whatever. I did learn a bit about Snape himself, not that I wanted to but still. He does appear to have lived pretty much the way I lived, except it was not his uncle, it was his own father...That's why I don't regret it either, I am learning to understand why Snape is the way he is, which is a polite way to say a complete murderous jerk, ha! Sorry...<br /><br />I sometimes wonder what I would be like if I had not been who I am, if I had only been a beaten, starved child, if I hadn't met with Ron or Hermione, if I had been bullied at school, hated, made fun of, if my only friend had turned her back on me after I stepped on the boundaries. This is usually when the tattoo on his left arm makes perfect sense to me. I too would probably have been attracted to a man like Malfoy Senior, a rich, respected and powerful man, a man who would have talked to me while others wouldn't, a man who would have showed me power...I would have embraced Voldemort then too. He probably was quite the charismatic leader while he retained his human appearance, I can see it. I can understand why people went to him...bowed to him...served him...even I, the so called epitom of light had to fight these urges sometimes when I find myself facing him. It is a strange relationship we have, Voldemort and I...<br /><br />I hate him, I want to see him dead and yet, I sometimes have the feeling I belong to him, that I was meant for him to do as he pleases, meant for him to kill. Weird isn't it? But anyway, that is why I can't find it in myself to actually hate Snape the way I used to, I can't seem to even remember what it was like to actually hate him this gut-deep. I'm not saying I like him, god forbids anyone who does! If anyone does, which I really doubt seeing the man we are talking about. I just...*sigh*<br /><br />It's quite complicated really...sometimes I wish I would unsee what I have seen of him and yet, sometimes I don't. It happens, in DADA class, that I would watch him, and start to feel for him, to sympathise, after all, we are not far off each other family-wise, and then he would ruin it all, catch my gaze and do something particularily aweful, like insulting me or once again my father and I would start hating him again, it was maddening! Could the man not give it a break! He was honestly hated by a good 3/4 of the school, quietly insulted by the other quarter each time he turned his back, he had the fucking dark mark on his arm and STILL he had to add to the fire!<br /><br />See? I'm starting to get angry at him again! Sometimes I really wonder how Dumbledore can stand him...I would have killed my own child rather than see him turn out like this.<br /><br />...<br /><br />Alright...I feel really bad for having thought that... Knowing his father actually tried to do just that, knowing that he has access to every student mind in this castle and that he probably knows what everyone thinks of him when nobody actually knows what he has been through makes me want to hug him...and that's the weirdest thought ever to come to my mind I'm not kidding! This must be my knack for desperate cases talking, as Hermione once put it. <br /><br />Weirdly enough, I know Voldemort's family wasn't ideal either and yet it doesn't make me feel like hugging HIM! Ew.No. But after all, Snape did save me countless times, and I'm pretty sure he was the one to warn the order about Snuffles, AND he didn't kill my entire family and tried to decimate my own person 20 times a year...that might play.<br /><br />Am I getting off track?<br /><br />So here I am, beginning of October, 6th year, and a broken nose not set that straight...blond prick. But I won't tell you my own story will I?<br /><br />Maybe I can show you...?<br /><br />...Then again maybe not.<br /><br /><br />Harry potter woke up this morning, more determined than ever. He had been ignored for weeks, insulted, humiliated, screamed at, sneered at, smirked at, but he WOULD obtain what he wants, that was to be sure. It was time to be cunning.<br /><br /><br />20 minutes later found our national hero outside Dumbledore's office, ready to plead, carefully crafted innocent face on. He had a theory, a very blurry one mind you but still a theory. That theory was, that Snape might hate him and scream at him and ruin his life, but he would never be able to say no to Dumbledore. Nobody said not to Dumbledore, period.<br /><br /><br />45 minutes later and a very irate Snape was storming out, black cloak and hair bellowing behind him.<br /><br /><br />5 minutes later and a very smug Harry Potter was coming out. <br /><br /><br />When Dumbledore had heard about Snape not ready to give in, he had called him, and discreetly guilted him into doing it. Oh, and he had accepted for the lesson to take place in his private quarters. He had been forced to really...but damn if Harry was going to get mind-raped in a cold and creepy dungeon ever again! <br />'Cunning isn't so bad after all' was he thinking at this moment.<br /><br /><br />To say the first occlumency session since 5th year went badly...is a huge understatement. Simple as it is, when you are praying for something not to be discovered, it's usually the first thing on your mind, whether you want it or you're desperately trying to hide it like Harry had been. Needless to say, Getting Snape confronted with his own memories had not gone well...at all. He had been kicked on his butt and thrown out the door with a healthy dose of insults.<br />Damn.<br />At least Snape's quarter weren't half bad. It was dark, yes. It was completely impersonnal, yes. It was sad and depressing, yes. But it wasn't cold and filled with dead creatures' organs! That was a clear improvement.<br /><br /><br />Needless to say, it had taken an entire week and a twinkling Dumbledore to get a new appointment from Snape.<br /><br /><br />To say the second one went well, would be the most outrageous of lies. Harry had spent the week exercising to forget about Snape's memories, and it once again, had been the first thing said Snape had been confronted to. Except this time, Harry defended himself with the first spell that came to his mind which had been "muffliato".<br />Error.<br />He later realised using a spell against his own creator wasn't the most intelligent thing to do, even if he didn't know it at the time. Snape's incredulity had transformed to understanding and anger as he finally understood how the precious golden boy who had always been especially weak in his class, was now head of Slughorn's. <br />Needless to say, Harry left very much bookless, as lame in potions as he had always been. The awe that came to his face when he realised Snape was the half-blood prince did nothing to salvage the dungeon bat, though the incredulity that followed said expression gave Harry a 2 seconds advance to flee without getting kicked. Unfortunately, Snape had a spell for that...<br />The only piece of information worth remembering in Harry's mind had been that he would be expelled AND killed by Snape if he ever used one tiny little spell from his book again. Great.<br />It took two weeks this time, and several twinkling Dumbledores to get Snape to teach him again. Which it left ample time for Harry to realise Snape was well and truly the Half-Blood Prince, which had two main consequences.<br />First, Harry had been quite star struck by the Prince, and was now by association, getting star struck by Snape.<br />Second...He was getting star struck by Snape of all people for fuck's sake!<br /><br /><br />After the fourth time flat on his butt, the walls around shaking from the violent door slamming, Harry realised he needed to do something. He couldn't very well keep coming to Snape, no progress made and be kicked out the door, there was clearly something he wasn't doing right.<br />After much more thinking, laying on his bed, Harry decided it was time to visit a place he had sworn never to enter willingly.<br />The library.<br />He went in the night, invisibility cloak on, and pawed through the restricted section, looking for anything that would help him understand.<br />20 minutes later and he had found it, an old tome on mind games that looked promising.<br />He spent a good part of the night reading it, taking notes of what could be useful to him. He had time anyway, his next lesson would be the week after.<br />As his lesson approached, harry's understanding of mind work kept growing. He might be ready for once.<br /><br /><br />To say the 5th occlumency lesson wasn't so bad...would not be too far off the mark altogether. Snape had looked pretty tired, pretty sick even, but Harry didn't comment, knowing it would get him another set of butt bruises. They had started the lesson the same way as ever, with Snape getting straight into it. Harry had not been able to stop him the first time, but pieces had started to click together in his mind. An hour later and Harry was still going, much to Snape's surprise. He still couldn't stop him, and it was still painful, but it wasn't anything he had not seen and slowly, his mind was working to defend itself.<br />He left on his own two foot this time, butt unbruised. The door still slammed, but Snape's nod had told him what he needed to know: he was on the right path.<br />Weeks passed and Harry's mind kept getting stronger. The book had been a huge help, as it had made him realise occlumency wasn't about hiding and forgetting memories, it was about making others believe it. Once he would have tried to create a wall in his mind and hide everything behing, leaving a blank at the front of his mind, and of course it wouldn't have worked. Only a mind like Snape's would be able to, after so much practicing. It wasn't about that at all, and he understood that a few weeks later.<br />There wasn't any wall to be added anywhere. Memories were the wall, they were what he needed, what he had been looking for, he didn't need anything else. He would join his important memories in the center of his mind, and he would surround them with all the others, less important, good memories, bad memories, dreams, nightmares, each ot them sending the viewer to another and another, entwining him and never letting him near the center. Which would mean Voldemort would never have access to him again. He would never possess him again like he did, he would never transform his fears into fake visions, everyone he loves would be safe, at last.<br />Or at least it was the theory.<br />Practicing it was something else entirely. It was difficult and tricky and it demanded not to be burried by his own memories, it was hard. <br />Snape, amazingly, helped. He made tea when Harry was ready to faint and actually gave long advice on mind problems that were so reminescent of the Prince's that Harry began wondering if 'star struck' wasn't beginning to bleed on 'crush'. <br />Preposterous thought really.<br />The more work he achieved on his mind, the longer he stayed in Snape's quarters, the more he learned about his teacher.<br />Snape didn't open to him really, if at all, but Harry was starting to understand Snape 'language' as it was.<br />Hatred had long passed between them, faster on Harry's part but Snape had come around little by little. It may have helped that Harry was actually doing his best to stop resembling his father. Yes his hair was a mess, yes he wore round glasses, but when a lesson was going wrong, and he didn't understand something and Snape wasn't helping at all, he wouldn't jump to his throat and antagonize him, no, that's what he would have done last year maybe, what his father would have done, mistrusting him every turn, doubting his word, something in Harry told him Snape needed to be trust, and so he would sit quietly, by Snape's chair, take his book and start looking for why it wasn't working. He would make a list on the side, so he would write whatever felt of importance to the task. Usually, a good half an hour later and Snape was feeling lenient enough to highlight some sentences of importance he had overlooked. The book had long been properly rented by Harry on Snape's written word, when it became clear sneaking after curfew in the middle of the night would get him nowhere with him. <br />Snape appeared to be a stickler for the rule but he wasn't really. He just didn't like Harry getting priviledge, causing mischief without retribution. It reminded way too much of things he didn't want to remember and Harry had understood it quite clearly, which is why he had stopped using the cloak and the map. If he couldn't sleep, then he did like any other teenagers that couldn't sleep, he went to his common room by the fire and thought about things, daydreamed or played with crookshanks. Weirdly, that made him feel good to know Snape would approve of his new ways. <br />Harry had come to the conclusion that Snape was like an abused dog, god forbid anyone told him he thought that! But it was the closest he had come to describe him. The man had had no reason to trust anyone in his life, his father had hated him, beaten him, rejected him, his mother had tried protecting him and got beaten for it, he had been bullied in school, hated for his looks, made fun of, he had joined Voldemort, went back to Dumbledore for something Harry wasn't stupid enough not to understand had to do with his mother's death, and he was now a teacher at a school where students hated him, made fun of him for his looks, where teacher didn't like him that much, it was maddening! Of course Snape did have something to do with how students and teachers saw him, he was sarcastic, degrading, bitter and overall not nice at all, but that's where the analogy comes in handy. A starved and beaten dog, having been starved and beaten all its life will answer the same way to his abuser than to the most well meaning person in the planet: with his fangs firmly sheathed into one's butt. And would you blame the dog? How was it to know this new person wasn't looking to hurt him all over again? how was it to know it brung food? And water? How can it know who to trust and who not to? Well it can't unless the new person takes the time to prove the dog it can trust him, to prove it is cared for. And that's why Harry wasn't surprised by Snape's attitude, humans were famous to be the most unreliable and treacherous beings on earth, no wonder Snape was saying "fuck off" to all of them, he would too, probably does most of the time anyway. So Harry in full understanding of this, had positionned himself as the 'well-meaning person', by being calm around him, by thinking things through before screaming at him, by stopping being unreliable and angsty, by simply trusting him.<br />And if Harry was guessing right, that simple fact changed their relationship for the best. Snape relaxed a bit in his presence, simple things like crossing his legs when he would have sat ramrod straight a month prior, he would sip his tea quietly while Harry was once again stuck, nose deep in his book, and he recently took the habit of taking off his long outer robe. It wasn't much, he still wore a pretty formal intricate black robe underneath but it's nontheless a habit Harry pretty much delighted in. <br />Oh of course Snape wasn't very tall, nor conventionnaly handsome, he was very thin, probably too thin but the tight fit of the robe and the less formal look complimented him well, and that's the only thing Harry saw.<br />So much for a tiny, tiny little 'start struck'...<br /><br /><br />A few days later and Harry's wall was complete.<br /><br /><br />Two weeks later and several sneaky mind attacks from Snape and even Dumbledore couldn't break it.<br /><br /><br />That's when things went a little bit awry.<br /><br /><br />You see, the advantage of having a weak, Voldemort-prone mind was that nobody gave you important piece of information. Of course Harry had always wanted to KNOW what was going on. But now that he knew, he wasn't so sure.<br />The next day was spent trying to forget under his cover. <br />Dumbledore was dying, Snape was a spy, Snape had to kill him, the Gaunt's ring, the horcruxes, everything had to be destroyed, or Voldemort wouldn't be. <br />His mind was a mess, he had finally gone out of his room and was wandering aimlessly in the silent corridors. He didn't know what to think of it all. Snape was a spy! It meant more bad news than good. He didn't doubt Snape's allegiance anymore, but hadn't for some time now, so the news didn't bring him any reconfort. The only thought in his head was that Snape was going on risking his life every turn for a mistake he committed 20 years ago and thinking one day he could very well not come back from a little session with the snake filled his heart with ice. <br />He really needed to calm down, after all, there was no way he would survive this war himself. Absolutely no way.<br />That's where he heard sniffing, from the bahroom on his right. He had not even realised he had gone this far in the castle but what does it matter, he was in no mind to plan.<br />He hadn't thought about what he would face when he entered that bathroom, but he would never have guessed Draco Malfoy was the answer.<br />Though he should have known better than following his curiosity really.<br /><br /><br />He had tried to talk, but the crying man had cursed him straight away. <br />...<br />Or maybe half screaming "MALFOY" when the man was crying silently in an abandonned girl's bathroom hadn't been the best approach...<br />...Right...<br /><br /><br />5 minutes later and the bathroom was looking pretty much devastated.<br /><br /><br />Half a second later and Malfoy was casting the infamous crucio at Harry whose mouth had nearly finished the word "sectumsempra" before he remembered his promise to Snape and snapped his mouth shut, and he had never been so glad for that thought as to when Snape actually told him later, what the spell did. Knowing he wouldn't have another spell ready on time, he took the curse straight in the chest and collapsed in a heap of painfull mess. <br />Let's say that got the blonde's attention if the frightful, panicked scream was anything to go by.<br />The spell hadn't been very powerful, painful, yes, but not enough to paralyse. More of a spell cast to get away than to hurt. Talk about another beaten dog, really.<br />It took 4 seconds for Draco to get his bearing and try to flee but Harry was faster. He locked the door and bodybound him, then took his wand. He conjured ropes and a chair a fastened Malfoy to it before he took off the bodybind.<br />He hadn't thought of what to do past that really, as usual he had acted on impulse and the best would probably be to call a teacher but he needed to know things first, he needed to be sure.<br />He had seen how Malfoy acted this year and it was completely opposite to what he was used to and that, in addition to everything, scared him. Yes he didn't like the prick, but he recognized the signs, he had seen them long enough during occlumency.<br />If Malfoy had looked panicked, it was nothing compared to what he looked like when Harry conjured the knife. <br />Honestly what was the blonde thinking! That he would cut him to shred? idiot.<br />He cut and ripped the left arm of Malfoy's shirt, ignoring his teary pleas and got a good look at what he had been praying wouldn't be here. <br />Damn Voldemort to hell.<br />Marking teenagers now? A coward like Malfoy? Who clearly did NOT want to be part of any of this, if the intensity of the crucio had been anything to go by? He had felt concern for the man thoughout the year, as his body became thinner, his face hollower, his smirks rare, his smiles nonexsitant and he couldn't believe one moment Malfoy went through it willingly. Not one. And he would make sure of it.<br />He spent 30 seconds trying to enter Draco's mind, and when he was proven he in fact, couldn't, he resorted to asking questions. It's only when he had taken Malfoy's wand by the two extremities and was ready to snap it in half in front of him that he snapped.<br />"YOU DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND POTTER! I CAN'T TELL YOU ANYTHING!"<br />And that's when Harry understood Malfoy might be refering to his previous unability to keep Voldemort out of his head, fact that would be well known now amongst deatheaters. <br />Harry being Harry, he decided on a bet.<br />He would cut him loose and give him his wand. If he succeeded in entering Harry's mind, he would be let go. If he didn't succeed, he would tell him what he wants to know. If he tried to flee or curse him, the ministry would be on about his little crucio attempt. Fairly simple.<br />It all unravelled from here, Malfoy of course didn't succeed but looked more relieved about that than anything. He didn't curse him either which was a relief in Harry's opinion and in the end, they talked for more than an hour. Harry learnt he had been threatened into getting the mark, and given a task Voldemort knew he would never be able to accomplish, all that to get back at his parents. Draco told him he had thought he was made for this, that he had been raised for this, but even his father wasn't sure anymore, even him wanted out but couldn't. He admitted he didn't like Granger but didn't want to slit her throat open either. He didn't know what to do anymore. Needless to say it got to Harry's heart quick enough.<br />It took some convincing on Harry's part for Malfoy to willingly go in Dumbledore's office. Upon entrance, the old man understood quick enough and asked Draco what he wanted to do. Against all odds, the man asked to become a spy, so he could go on protecting his parents the best he could. Harry looked surprised at that, told him he wasn't that much of a coward in the end.<br />Draco had to swear an oath, same as Harry and Snape, to protect the informations he would be given and the people he held dear.<br />Snape entered not much later, which made Draco panick in record time. <br />Understandable really, since he might have been his godfather, but he was still a deatheater for him, and a faithful one at that.<br />What happened next shocked both Harry and Draco as Snape, upon hearing what was going on, whispered "thank god" and hugged Draco so tightly it had to hurt. Though Harry wouldn't know would he? It wasn't HE that got hug by Snape...and NO he was NOT pouting.<br />In the end, Harry couldn't stop himself and told them to get a room, which was followed by a faint blush and a scowl from one, a look of pure incomprehension and shock, morphing slowly into comprehension and what looked way too much like a mocking smirk for harry's comfort in another, and a healthy dose of barely contained twinkling from the last one.<br />Then, the Scowl and the Twinkling asked Mocking smirk and Embarassed Harry to go back to their room, but not before Scowl asked Embarassed Harry to be at his quarters at 9.<br />It took some time for Malfoy to successfully say 'thank you' to Harry on the way back but in the end he did it. Of course it took no time at all after that to tease him relentlessely about his tiny little crush on his godfather...which Harry masterfully ignored...prick.<br />Once in Gryffindor territory, and for the first time in a long while, he spent a quiet afternoon with Hermione and Ron, talking nonsense and playing chess. After all the serious stuff, it felt good to have his friends again.<br />At 8.45, he left for Snape's private quarter. He might master occlumency, but he still needed training. They talked a bit during this time. Snape never thanked him for what he had done earlier but as he began to talk about the Prince, Harry understood it for what it was. He learned at last that Prince was Snape's mother's name, and that he had actually been very close to knowing the truth when he had found about Eileen Prince, Hogwart's gobblestones team captain.<br />Harry went on reading the second book on mind games he had found and time passed until Snape told him he was already way past curfew and he really needed to go. Harry pleaded until Snape abandonned and went to sleep, promising harsh retribution if he was still on his couch come morning. <br />Harry had smiled at that, as he got back to his reading, surrounded by the scent of the one he was steadily learning to fall in love with.<br />Come to think of it, he really should have expected to get thrown out on his arse, hardly awake and dishevelled when Snape found him the next morning, fast asleep on the couch, but it didn't make his butt hurt less.<br />If he ever wondered about the taste of coffee on his lips, he didn't mention it.<br /><br /><br />It had been three weeks since then and Harry was peacefully sleeping when the white fox came. Glowing but weak and choppy, like an old television and it would have scared him to hell if it hadn't spoken quietly in Malfoy's voice.<br />"Come...quarters... now"<br />Blast his resolutions to hell, he grabbed his cloak and ran.<br />It took 2 minutes and a half to run through half of the castle and barge in Snape's quarters, whizzing like the Hogwarts express, and upon seeing a bloody Malfoy on the floor and a ghostly pale Snape sprawled on the couch he couldn't help but feel relieved: at least they were alive.<br />Snape looked tired and nearly unconscious but stable enough so he went to Malfoy, who was now spitting blood on the floor.<br />It took nearly 5 minutes to stabilize him with spells he knew and potions Snape was describing him from the couch but in the end all went well. He conjured a soft matress and carried him on it telling him he could sleep now, but as Malfoy thanked him and was ready to faint, he said something that made Harry uneasy.<br />"Stubborn..man..............concealing....charm......heal" he said as he kept staring at Harry willing him to understand, and when he did, when the confused look in the green eyes transformed to angst and panick, only then did he allow himself to succomb to his body's need and close his eyes. <br />'He wouldn't dare...would he??' was thinking Harry while he stood over the near unconscious form of Snape. But the pool of blood quickly forming on the couch informed him that he indeed, dared. <br />It took him 5 other precious minutes for Harry to break through Snape's heavy concealment charms, much to the man's protest and when he finally did, he promised himself to kick the man to the moon first thing when he was recovered enough.<br />"Of all the...! Fuck you Snape! People would think you would start trusting me enough to handle that sort of thing would they? WHAT where you going to do with this eh? you can't even go to Pomfresh for fuck's sake!" <br />"Lan..guage...Potter" <br />"How can you be so.....so.....INFURIATING! Tell me what to do!" It was clear Harry wasn't a medic and he needed Snape to cooperate and tell him what needed to be done or their could be some serious consequences. He didn't even know where the man hurt!<br />"Don't...need...help...I can perfectly...take care of myself...leave" ....What?<br />"Alright Snape you're going to listen to me and listen to me GOOD! I'm not leaving here until the BLOOD on your COUCH is BACK in your BODY am I being CLEAR? And if you keep your "I don't need help whatsoever" act it will be MY pleasure to PRESS FIRMLY on EACH and EVERY CUT THERE IS ON YOUR BODY UNTIL YOU LET ME HEAL YOU IS IT CLEAR ENOUGH!" Thank god for silencing charms or half the castle would already be here...<br />Harry never knew if that was his raised voice, his serious expression or the promise of more pain that got Snape to talk, but the principal is he did talk and everything went fine...until 5 minutes later.<br />"You're not...taking my...clothes off Po..tter"<br />"Silly of me...and here I thought for a minute you were going to make this EASY! I'm not healing your rib, which is by the way NOT in a natural position at ALL, through your ROBE!"<br />"Potter...I'm not discussing...you're not...taking it off.."<br />"I'm trying very hard to be patient here Snape, while you are apparently being a masochist and prolonging your pain willingly but if I have to tie you down or bodybind you to heal you, I will."<br />"I will kill you...Potter...if you do..."<br />"What the FUCK Snape I'm trying to HEAL YOU HERE!"<br /> "It's..none of your...business..Potter, Leave..."<br />" LIKE FUCK I...."<br />"Potter! Come here!" shit...<br />"Not you too Malfoy! what is it? You hurting somewhere?" Clearly he wasn't a medic and he was dearly hoping Draco didn't hurt and would recover swiftly. It's not until he was kneeling by his side that Draco spoke again, quietly so only the two of them could hear.<br />"He has scars Potter, and he hates them...I saw them once...he got very angry...it's why he won't...let you...but force him...please...I saw what Voldemort did...he probably has several broken bones...and misplaced joints...heal him...please."<br />" Of all the stupid reasons...I will Draco, even if I have to stun him..."<br />"Thanks...*cough*"<br />"Easy...thanks for telling me...think you can sleep?"<br />"Yeah, should be good...if you stop yelling it is..." Harry never had thought he would say that one day but damn it felt good to see him smirk again.<br />" *snort* Sorry, bear with it a bit, it will be calm soon enough, I'm not done with him yet..." <br />Oh yes there would be screaming alright!<br />"SEVERUS FUCKING SNAPE!" was Harry's less than quiet approach to the now very bloody couch. "I AM TAKING YOUR CLOTHES OFF RIGHT NOW AND NEITHER YOUR NOR YOUR STUPID SCARS WON'T STOP ME"<br />"Fuck you Potter! You're not touching me...you don't...know...anything...being perfect golden boy...leave NOW"<br />"Alright, I'm done being patient. You think I don't understand. IS THAT IT? you think I don't KNOW WHAT SCARS ARE? You think I'll be disgusted or I don't know what shit? Then take a look COME ON!"<br />Harry's shirt went flying to the ground, half ripped. His thin chest glistening with sweat was catching the soft light as many scars were bared to view. They didn't look painful or deep, but they were visible nonetheless, some more than others. He turned around like a woman exhibiting a new dress, and his back held the heavier looking ones. <br />"How......?" Was Snape's strangled whisper, eyes wide taking in the sad view of a child's ruined body.<br />"The ones on my back...come from my cousin, when he found it funny to push me against the neighbour's electrified barbed wires. Though some of the lashes might not be that visible, as they might be crossed with the burns I got from where he tried to fit me in the oven...shame it had been on. The aweful looking on on my left forearm well...you can thank snakeface but you probably knew right?"<br />"Bastards...to do that...to a child..." He had turned his eyes, apparently unable to deal with it.<br />"Weren't you? A child?" This was the moment of truth. Either Snape helped, either he would have to bind him. Honestly the talk was taking too long, did he have a death wish or something? Dying in his own blood??<br />"Not...for all of them. Fuck you...Potter" But the sentiments weren't there, and Snape actually was using his magic to unbutton the heaviest of his clothing.<br />"Much appreciated Snape really..."<br />"Don't ask...more of me" He was havng difficulty moving, and breathing and only his shirt was left to unbutton.<br />"I won't...try not to move" As he came closer, Snape tensed but stopped talking. His clothing got banished, his shirt ripped and Harry didn't even pay attention to any scars. Blood was everywhere, two ribs where sticking out and his neck had taken a blue-violet tint that meant trouble. Harry barely held the "ouch, that got to hurt" comment that was fighting to go out as his own stomach was starting to backflip unpleasantly. <br />It took all of Snape's and Harry's efforts combined to stop the blood, replace the bones and heal nearly everything except bruises. Snape was past exhausted but Harry didn't want to let him sleep on the bloody couch so he carried him, using a featherlight charm to his bed after cleaning him and got him under the covers. He had seen the scars by now, and they didn't look light. They were on his chest, his hips, his back...but he didn't care. He wanted to tell Snape he didn't care, that he thought he was beautiful the way he was, but he knew he would get AK'ed straight away so he closed his mouth and did the only thing he was brave enough to do, he placed a kiss on his chest, straight above the heart, where a deep scar could be seen running, and hoped the message was clear enough.<br />Before Snape could say a word, if he was even capable of it right now, he burried him under the cover and went back to the main room, but not before telling him he would stay there, if he needed any help.<br />He went back to Draco and proceeded to clean him too, so he wouldn't wake up drenched in blood. He cleaned the couch and threw the used potions away before himself succumbing to sleep.<br /><br /><br />Unfortunately, from there the problems kept coming. The horcurx quest was coming about slowly, Voldemort's attacks on muggles and wizzards alike were becoming more frequent, the nights like this one where Harry needed to heal the both of them kept coming. They all knew what it meant.<br />Things were moving.<br />The end was near.<br /><br /><br />Problems went on as Harry was called by Dumbledore one evening.<br /><br /><br />He was found much later, wandering the halls like an empty shell by Draco, who panicked and got him to Snape before going back to the Slytherins, to not appear suspicious. <br />It took Harry some time to get out of that shell, Snape had got him on his couch and had tried to make him drink a calming draught, but Harry hadn't respond so he had taken the matter in his hands. He had quietly taken him in his bed and had unscrewed the bottle, downing it himself before straddling Harry and closing his mouth on his. Their lips moved together for a while until Harry finally swallowed and Snape took him in his arm, holding him, patiently waiting for him to break.<br />And break he did. Harry cried and cried as Snape tightened his hold on him feeling his heart break, the longer harry's tears fell. <br />After the hurrican came the calm. Harry calmed down but stayed in the man's arms, thinking he never wanted him to let go.<br />Snape asked him then: "He told you about the last horcrux didn't he?"<br />Because he already knew, that Dumbledore wouldn't be able to keep it a secret for much longer. Things were moving too fast, shadows were closing in on them.<br />Harry only nodded and sniffed quietly, slowly gaining his countenance back. The potion had taken effect a long time ago, but Snape's arms around him were working best.<br />"Sorry..." was the quiet whisper that came a while later.<br />"You have nothing to be sorry for Potter" He knew he should untighten his arms but he didn't want to.<br />"Harry...please...call me Harry...just for a little while"<br />"Alright...Harry" <br />"wow...feels weird" Harry had then giggled.<br />"You were the one to ask...brat" There was no venom in his voice as he was content to hear harry's laugh.<br />Harry became serious again then, and appologized anew. He told him it's not as if he hadn't known he was to die, it had juste taken him by surprise, after everything.<br />Snape had then acted selfishely, for the first time since long, and had kissed Harry, gently, a simple mouth to mouth contact but Harry had melted like butter under a summer's sun. In the end they kissed for a while, no pressure, as they didn't want to take it further. Innocent, could have described it the best, as they both were when it came to sentiments.<br />They talked a lot after that, about the war to come and in the end, Harry arrived to a conclusion.<br />"Fuck destiny!" He had said "You want me to die? You want him to die as well? Then fuck you! I will kill Voldemort, even if I have to rip his head off myself with my own teeth but I won't die! And you won't either...Severus." He had then looked in his dark brown eyes and told him "If I survive this and you died a stupid death you could have easily overcome with potions or spells, I can assure you I will revive you and kill you myself".<br />Severus had not understood it at the time, why Harry would want to burden himself with an old man, broken man, who had never known love and who was the farthest he could find from beautiful and nice so he had asked him. He honestly hadn't thought Harry would want anything to do with him if they were to both survive, at least not romantically speaking. <br />Obviously it made Harry angry, so he explained himself quite clearly. Every points that make him like him. Every little facts that made him love him, and for each of this facts, Harry would kiss one scar. The end of this little speech found Harry at Snape's slender waist, lavishing it with his tongue while a very short of breath Snape was trying his best to reign in his body, his chest still burning from Harry's kisses and little nips. <br />They stopped here though, as neither of them felt it would be good to step on the boundaries for now, but Harry assured him after a well placed kiss that the next time, when the war was done, and Voldemort dead, he would not stop, as the sight of him, panting on his own bed had made him feel a fever he had never experienced of his living.<br />Sweetly enough, Snape had looked thoroughly embarassed.<br />Not much happened after that, Snape told Harry he was a cheeky brat, and they fell asleep on that promise, cuddling together.<br /><br /><br />Things happened fast after this. Dumbledore told him it was time he accompanied him, and when he crossed Draco that evening, he knew this night would change everything.<br />"They are coming...I'm sorry Harry..." Draco had told him, looking faint, but Harry had understood. He had hugged Draco tightly and told him he was glad he was with us. He made him promise to survive this no matter what and left to find Ron and Hermione.<br />It took about 10 minutes to reunify the DA. He told them the few things he had the right to, mainly that they were coming. They told them to leave. Of course nobody left. They all stayed to fight and Harry left the room, proud of his team, his friends.<br />He went with Dumbledore that night, and got acquainted with the term "inferi". All went bad. The Horcrux was a false, only a note, R.A.B.<br />They went back to Hogwarts to find the skull illuminating the sky. They arrived on the tower, someone was coming, Harry got disilusioned.<br />Draco disarmed Dumbledore, and of course couldn't kill him but Snape could, and he did. Harry heart ripped in two as his mentor fell, as Snape and Draco looked ready to cry. Deatheaters ran after that, Harry ran after the two shadows but wasn't fast enough. The last thing he saw of them were both their distraught faces turned to him, as the disaparated in a black smoke, as Harry screamed at them.<br />"Survive you bastards, you fucking BETTER SURVIVE!"<br /><br /><br /><br />It had been a long time ago already, since he last saw them. He was now "camping" with Hermione. Ron had just left, influenced by the dark necklace. He needed to cheer Mione so he danced with her and held her close when she felt like breaking. <br />They didn't find many clues. They found the tales of the three brothers at the Lovegoods, went into a trap at Godric's hollow and nearly got killed. Though he met his parents' graves, for the first time. <br />He was losing hope when he saw the doe, deep in the forest, near their tents. He knew it had been his mother's, he knew it was Snape's, so he followed it and found the sword.<br />...<br />...Alright...<br />...going IN the water with the necklace had NOT been very intelligent.<br />But Ron had come hadn't he?<br />They were back, the three of them, Hermione was smiling again but Harry's heart was more and more heavy.<br />In the end they got caught by snatchers and brought to Malfoy manor and how Harry had never been so glad to see his favorite blond idiot!<br />They stared at each other for a long time as Lucius was asking his son to formally identify Harry, hidden under Hermione's quick deforming spell. Harry had never felt so close to kiss Malfoy as he lied while his eyes told him what he wanted to know. Snape was still alive. Malfoy was still alive.<br />They succeeded to escape thanks to Dobby, who apparated them all. Harry had barely been able to get new wands from Draco and they had left, but Bellatrix's knife had been faster.<br />Harry burried Dobby himself, at the top of a windy sea shore, where he would be able to see sunsets and sunrises forever, free as he had always been.<br />Harry had felt like going back when he had realised he had stolen Draco's wand. He hoped he wouldn't be the death of him. But he had saved Luna, Griphook and Ollivanders, who told him Voldemort had learnt about the deathly Hallows. <br />That meant Snape's days were coming short. His heart had never been this heavy.<br />The quest went on, he met a dragon...again...but this time rode on it's back, another horcrux safely held.<br />In the end they only had one choice left: Hogwarts.<br />They went in the night, and found Dumbledore's brother, Aberforth, who helped them get in.<br />He did a stupid thing, confronting Snape, but he wanted to tell him he was alright, he wanted to see him.<br />"How dare you stand where he stood!" That might have hurt him...but he had to tell him, he had to know he was alive, so he wouldn't do stupid things.<br />He met again with Draco and two of his stupid croonies in the Room of requirements while looking for the diadem and had never been so afraid as to when the fiendfyre was cast and Draco found himself on this meagre bookpile, surrounded by fire.<br />Luckily he had been quick enough to snatch him and leave the room on a broom, Ron and Hermione showing the way. <br />The diadem had been distroyed by the cursed fire. A good thing.<br />Draco hugged him briefly, on the floor where they fell, glad to be alive and whispered to him to open his mind, that Voldemort had called for Snape but he didn't know where they were. He then left running.<br />Harry opened his mind. It took some time and it hurt to feel Voldemort again after so long but he found them, in the small boat house.<br />They hurry, the three of them and arrive when Nagini sheated her fangs in Snape's tender neck. It took both Hermione's and Ron's strength to hold Harry back. Now wasn't the time to face him.<br />Voldemort left, Nagini too and Harry hurried to his lover's side.<br />The light from the nearly black eyes was fading, little by little...<br />"look..at...me" were Snape's whispered words so Harry did, and plunged in Snape's ungarded mind. All was choppy, and weak, but he could see the bottle, the two bottles in the pocket. Two drops from the red one, then the entire blue bottle. He hurried to obey, forcing Snape to drink his own potions the same way he made Dumbeldore drink the liquid that drove him mad and after the second bottle, Snape heart stopped. His eyes still opened and unseeing, fixed on Harry and Harry screamed. He cast a stasis and a disillusionment charm on him and left.<br />If he had ever felt murderous, it was nothing compared to what he felt now.<br />He sent Hermione and Ron to fecth the fang in the chamber of secrets and, after briefly hugging them both, went to his death.<br />He had Draco's wand with him and his cloak, and a few hundred meters from Voldemort, he opened the snitch. <br />The stone that fell in his hand was small, but beautiful and as he turned it over, he got to face his parents for the first time since fourth year.<br />It was a beautiful moment, a peaceful one, knowing the one he loved where here for him. Snape wasn't, and he wondered about what it meant. Maybe he hadn't crossed yet?<br />That's the moment he chose to walk to Voldemort and thinking of his loved ones, he took the curse straight to his chest.<br /><br /><br />All passed slowly, but quickly at the same time. It was a weird feeling.<br />He saw Dumbledore at this place, very reminiscent of King's cross. He saw a piece of Voldemort's soul. Dumbledore asked him if he wanted to go back, and he didn't, really. All he had was lost. But he couldn't think like that, he needed to kill him if he could, he needed to save those who needed saving and so he went back.<br />The first thing he felt when he came back into his body was a cold and petite hand, on his head. Then he heard it...<br />"Is he alive? Draco...is he alive?" So that must have been Narcissa's hand? A nod of his head and she did something he never thought would have happened, she lied to Voldemort.<br />"Dead" she announced in a cold voice. Harry could hear Hagrid's scream and the deatheater's songs of joy. Laugh all you can, bastards, while you still can.<br />Hagrid carried him to the castle, and as much as Harry wanted to tell him to alleviate his grief, he knew it was too risky so he kept quiet, heart ripping again at the sound of his oldest friend's sorrow.<br />Voldemort made quite a smug speech, in Harry's opinion. But that's only when he asked to see Draco that he snapped and jumped from Hagrid's shoulders. He would not hurt Draco, no matter what.<br />To Malfoy's credit, his thinking was fairly quick. He looked at Neville holding the sword and yelled at him<br />"LONGBOTTOM, CATCH!" As he cast a spell and sent Nagini flying to where Neville was standing.<br />He had been scared he wouldn't be ready but Neville had been, and had chopped Nagini's head clean off, a shout of pure rage coming from him.<br />Voldemort fell to his knees, screaming in agony as the next to last part of his soul disapeared in a puff of smoke. Harry wasn't feeling anything, he wasn't a horcrux anymore afterall and for the first time, he understood where the belonging feeling had been coming from, why he had always felt he belonged to him, to Voldemort.<br />Their face to face would be remembered for a long time. As Voldemort's face as he realised Draco's and Snape's had never been his. At the thought of the one he loves, covered in blood, harry entered in a white rage and destroyed Voldemort, who believed to the end he possessed the elder wand. Too bad really.<br />Deatheaters left but a lot of them were arrested. The Malfoys stopped a lot of them from leaving too.<br />Harry felt weak, as a piece of soul that had inhabited him for so long had now disappeared but he needed to tell someone...<br />It was Draco who came to him when he fainted, and he had just the time to warn him<br />"boat...caban...disillusionment...Snape" Then all went black.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />When he woke up, all was white. Which was a shock after all this black, really. He saw Ron and Hermione and tried to smile but Hermione left on a hurry. Ron took his hand and looked ready to cry in relief.<br />He only had the time to learn it had been two weeks since Voldemort was dead when the door banged open and Draco walked in. He was then deprived from air for about 30 seconds flat while Draco and Hermione proceeded to hug him into oblivion.<br />"Sorry Granger but I can't stand the pressure, Harry Snape is alive, he is in the great hall."<br />"Malfoy!" My ears only succeeded to catch Hermione's shocked scream as I was already up and running to said hall.<br />"HARRY COME BACK YOU'RE TOO WEAK! MALFOY HOW CAN YOU BE SO IRRESPONSIBLE YOU KNEW IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!"<br />DAMN RIGHT it was gonna happen! Like hell I was sleeping like a good student in the infirmary if Snape was really alive, in the great hall....it was hardly believable.....he had been so sure he was dead.....please be it true....<br />And as he arrived in the great hall, and realised every family and staff was gathered here, he faltered. It is only when his gaze fell on the man he loved so much, his back to him, talking to Macgonagall, that he made his mind, he didn't care about anything else...It crossed his mind Malfoy probably explained everything about Snape's condition as a spy since he was there, not being spat on and cursed.<br />"SNAPE YOU BASTARD YOU ARE ALIVE!" Alright, that wasn't the most romantic thing that could have come out of Harry's mouth but it wasn't important.<br />Snape had barely enough time to turn around, the entire falling silent as Harry ran and jumped him, tears falling at seing him at last. He didn't care he was weak, he didn't care when they fell backward and sprawled n the ground for all to see, he didn't care when gasps were heard but no heart could ever stay cold a this sight, two old ennemies, one crying and holding to the other for dear life, the second clearly embarassed but no less happy, both on the ground so no one said a word until Macgonagall applauded.<br />And it is in a room full of applause and whistles, that Snape's recovered enough and, after taking a minute to be decidedly, fully embarassed, decided to scold Harry into next year for being out of hospital and running in the castle like a loon.<br />In the end Snape carried Harry back to the hospital even after he pleaded not to go, making a scene that would make any 4 years old proud.<br />Draco looked relieved not to have Hermione pester him anymore when they arrived and harry got unceremoniously dumped on the bed. His pout got the better of Snape though, as he bent and kissed him.<br />Ron ewwed.<br />"Nonexistent Gryffindor manners" was all he huffed, going back to the great hall.<br />It is said the stinging hex that burned the ginger-headed backside came out of nowhere.<br /><br /><br />Later that night, Snape came, quiet as a shadow, and stole Harry. <br />They spent the night together, a night both of us would remember fondly for the rest of their lives as the night Harry finally could prove to Severus he found him beautiful. They didn't leave the room for two days.<br />Draco got hit when he mentionned it.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />In the end, Harry grieved.<br />A stone was carved and erected at the entrance of Hogwarts, so they could remember the fallen, and the ones who had been brave enough to fight for freedom.<br />Severus Snape pleaded his case and got awarded Order of Merlin 1st class, for risking his life for so long.<br />Draco wasn't awarded anything, but was excused of any kind of retribution, which was all very well from his point of view.<br />Lucius Malfoy took 3 years of Azkaban and 2 of house arrest, while Narcissa was left off with a year of house arrest.<br />Dumbledore's painting was added in the headmaster's office, but a special one was commissionned from Harry and Snape: the painting can bee seen above the teacher's table, in the great hall. Dumbledore appears particularily joyful in it, as he guard the cell of Gellert Grindelwald, who does not look as happy.<br />It has been said if you went later in the night, and peered closely at the painting, you could see it empty, cell door opened. But it never got confirmed as both of them were always back in come morning. And student weren't really allowed to wander at night, were they?<br />Some say Harry and Severus married in secret, their first dance so sweet and gentle it made Hermione cry.<br />Some say they bought an old house and rescued a black, joyful dog named Pooch.<br />Some say Draco kept calling it Pottypots for so long it now only responds to that name...<br />And there are some that say they had wanted children, but after seeing the misery said children put the weasley couple through they decided that in the end, they were happy enough babysitting and rescuing dogs.<br />If someone ever saw a tattooed Grim, doe, wolf or deer on harry's wrist they never mentionned it.<br />It is said Snape still refers to himself as harry's charity case.<br />It is also said each time harry hears it, he thouroughly covers him in kisses.<br />It is definitely said severus does it on purpose, but potter being dumb as fuck doesn't realise it.<br /><br />"DRACO!"<br /><br />"What bucktooth don't tell me it's not true!"<br /><br />"When harry will know what you have been writing he will kill you you know that?"<br /><br />"Hey weasel...damn I do have two weasel in front of me now don't I?... I survived You-Know-Who, I will survive one scrawny pot pot potty, thank you very much! I'm only the best writer in this century, people need to know what is going on!"<br /><br />" 'Gossip writer' Malfoy"<br /><br />"Am not! There is nothing invented in all that, I only have been rewriting what's been written in his own diary."<br /><br />"Honestly Malfoy...don't you have any shame?"<br /><br />"I'm sorry to interrupt but...did he just say he found, read and rewrote my private diary? I may be mistaken, I might have misheard...and I honestly wish for his pale arse I have..."<br /><br />"Oops...well...FAREWELL POTTER!"<br /><br />It is said Malfoy disappeared with the drafts.<br /><br />It is said the day after's Prophet's first page title was something along the line of 'Black and Golden: the love story that saved us all now in stores!'<br /><br />It is said Harry and Snape found it.<br /><br />It is said Malfoy disappeared, period.<br /><br />"Or not, hahaha no one beats a Malfoy! ISN'T IT RIGHT POTTY?"<br /><br />"HERE YOU ARE YOU LITTLE BLOND MOTHERFUCKER YOU ARE SO DEAD"<br /><br />"It is said Severus Snape could not stand such immature behaviours and decided to end his miserable days using a very potent, self-brewed poison"<br /><br />"That's not poison, that's whiskey."<br /><br />"Details, Miss Granger, details."<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://snarryglompfest.livejournal.com/24664.html">COMMENT BACK AT LIVEJOURNAL</a><br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarryglompfest&ditemid=1552" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentstag:dreamwidth.org,2013-03-03:1978740:1390GLOMP FOR WONDERLUCK2013-03-08T19:59:58Z2013-03-08T20:01:41Zpublic0<b>Title:</b> Love favors the bold.<br /><b>Author:</b> Anonymous<br /><b>Prompt Number:</b> Lucky 13<br /><b>Rating:</b> NC 17<br /><b>Word Count:</b> 12000<br /><b>Warnings:</b> EWE, Adult language, Solo, Promiscuity, Oral, Anal, Top!Harry. <br /><b>Summary:</b> In his seventh year at Hogwarts, Harry Potter developed a fascination for his Potions Professor. Five years later, an adult Harry still wistfully thinks about Severus Snape. When they meet again, Harry finds his attraction undiminished but is at a loss on how to proceed to get what he wants. Luckily, pursuit is easy when the prey is willing to get caught. <br /><b>Author's Note:</b> I like to believe Harry and Ginny remained close friends after their doomed romance fizzled. I like her both in the cheering section and the peanut gallery! I hope this pleases…<br /><br /><span class="cut-wrapper"><span style="display: none;" id="span-cuttag___1" class="cuttag"></span><b class="cut-open">( </b><b class="cut-text"><a href="https://snarryglompfest.dreamwidth.org/1390.html#cutid1">LOVE FAVOURS THE BOLD</a></b><b class="cut-close"> )</b></span><div style="display: none;" id="div-cuttag___1" aria-live="assertive"></div><br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarryglompfest&ditemid=1390" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentstag:dreamwidth.org,2013-03-03:1978740:1061GLOMP FOR THE COMMUNITY2013-03-06T19:24:16Z2013-03-06T19:25:17Zpublic0<b>Title</b>: Lost and Found<br /><b>Author</b>: Anonymous<br /><b>Prompt Number</b>: <br /><b>Rating</b>: NC17<br /><b>Word Count</b>: 77.4k (This part 18k)<br /><b>Warnings</b>: Adult language, Anal, Bottom!Snape, EWE, Minimal switching, Non-Snarry pairings, Oral, Original characters, Powerful!Harry , Rimming, Slash, Solo, Spanking, Top!Harry, Voyeurism, Water play (not graphic), Hm… I think that’s it… <br /><b>Summary</b>: Ridding the world of the Dark Lord has been the focus of Harry Potter and Severus Snape’s worlds for the greater part of their lives. Their identities were based on the roles they were called to play, and the sacrifices they had to make, to insure a victory for the Light. After the dust settles, both are faced with the task of finding out who they are when no longer a spy and a predestined pawn, and with going on with their lives to a future neither of them ever expected to have. But even once they work out what they need and what they want for their future, they still have to figure out how to get it, a task with which some will help, and that some would hinder.<br /><b>Author's Note</b>: I would like to thank my betas, <span style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='https://fancypantsdylan.dreamwidth.org/profile'><img src='https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png' alt='[personal profile] ' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: text-bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='https://fancypantsdylan.dreamwidth.org/'><b>fancypantsdylan</b></a></span> and <span style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='https://www.dreamwidth.org/profile?user=drarryxlover'><img src='https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png' alt='[profile] ' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: text-bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='https://www.dreamwidth.org/profile?user=drarryxlover'><b>drarryxlover</b></a></span>. Any remaining errors are mine, since I can never leave well enough alone… I had a story that had been screaming to be told if I was given the appropriate motivation. It was a lot of fun to write, though I was a bit surprised by the staggering amount of smut the tale thought it required… It also contains some hard-to-miss references to another fandom my beta and I sometime visit, though they will go completely unnoticed by the uninitiated. (More at the end).<br /><br /><a href="http://snarryglompfest.dreamwidth.org/490.html">LOST AND FOUND: CHAPTER ONE</a><br /><a href="http://snarryglompfest.dreamwidth.org/525.html">LOST AND FOUND: CHAPTER TWO</a><br /><a href="http://snarryglompfest.dreamwidth.org/976.html">LOST AND FOUND: CHAPTER THREE</a><br /><br />CHAPTER FOUR<br /><br />It was Tuesday again. Sitting with friends at the three broomsticks, Harry was deep in thoughts. He felt as if he were stalked. At every turn, regardless of how well he hid, Severus Snape was there to witness his sexual encounters. Draco’s had been the first, and since then, no place seemed remote enough to keep his trysts out of Snape’s knowledge. He did not think Snape had anything to do with it. They just constantly happened to be at the same place at the same time when Harry’s cock was in someone arse, or Harry’s mouth full of someone’s cock. <br /><br />At first, when it happened, he’d been angry, then vengeful, then amused, but finally fucking others to satiate his yearning for one man, as that man inevitably looked on, just made him fell wretchedly alone and terribly, terribly sad. <br /><br />He hopelessly loved Severus Snape. He liked Marcus, cared for Draco, got along great with Angus. But his heart belonged to Snape, his soul craved him, his body could not feed its hunger for him with the surrender of others. <br /><br />For some unfathomable reason, Snape was with Fletch. Justin Finch-Fletchley, of all people! He might have understood Snape with Draco, who had been in love with him for so long. Snape and just about anyone would actually make more sense than Snape with Justin, because as far as anyone knew, Justin was still Blaise’s beloved boyfriend. He had seen Blaise fuck him in the library stacks only the night before, Blaise crying out Justin’s name as he came, so fucking in love with that worm. <br /><br />He wondered if Snape would make an apparition at The Three Broomsticks that night, if Justin and his relationship was an open one, or if it was exclusive, at least on Snape’s side. Blaise certainly thought he and Justin were monogamous, but he was blinded by love. Was Snape also in the Hufflepuff’s thrall, both snakes taken in by the innocent blue eyes? Salazar Slytherin must be turning over in his grave …<br /><br />He scanned the room. There was a tall dark haired man alone at the bar, giving him <i>that</i> look, but Harry was with Seamus and Julius, and Hermione and Ron were supposed to show up as well, so he was in no hurry. When the man looked at him again before heading for the loo, Harry let him go. Some other man was following him already anyway. Then, without warning, Rosmerta dropped a key next to Harry’s butterbeer. <br />He looked up at her, surprised by this breach of the normal protocol. She smiled warmly.<br /><br />“Trust me, Harry. It’s nothing nefarious. Go.”<br /><br />His curiosity was peeked. His best guess was that Marcus wanted to see him again, and was worried Harry would not come, not wanting their friendship to go any further than it had. He liked Marcus. A lot. <br /><br />With the usual pang, he recalled that Snape did not want him, and had made it clear that he never would. Maybe he could be frank with Marcus, tell him how things were and give a relationship with him a chance. <br />He finished his drink, only vaguely listening to Seamus and Julius’s jokes.<br /><br />Finally, he stood up and said, “I’m off, gentlemen. Don’t wait up.” <br /><br />They grinned at him, continuing their conversation. He went upstairs. There was an eight engraved in the key. It was his usual room. He opened the door and went in. Though there was still a hint of evening light outside, the heavy velvet curtains had been drawn and as soon as he entered, he felt privacy spells as strong as his own go up around the room.<br /><br />A tall, dark haired man stood watching the fire in the hearth with his back to the door. Harry smiled. Marcus. Then the man turned around, and walked towards Harry. <br /><br />It hurt like hell that it was Severus Snape.<br /><br />“Ah!” said Harry, his heart constricting, but resolving never to make himself vulnerable to Snape again. “Is this to be a lecture then, about my promiscuity? My brazen behaviour? The risks I take coming into an unknown man’s room?”<br /><br />Snape shook his head, his attitude defeated, lost and sad, his eyes on the rug. “No. I am not enough of a hypocrite to lecture you, Mr. Potter. Nor am I going to pretend to be here for anything but the usual reason,” he added, looking up at Harry with eyes filled with yearning.<br /><br />“Are you saying you are here for a one night stand, with me?” asked Harry, disbelieving.<br /><br />Snape looked away again and nodded once. Ashamed? Scared?<br /><br />“Why? Why now?” Harry cried, his heart flailed again despite his resolve. ”Just a few weeks ago, I would have sold my soul to the devil for a night with you, for you to take some interest in me, fuck! For just one loving word from you. But you didn’t want me!” Shit. Tears filled his eyes. Why did Snape continue to torture him this way? How could he ever move on with Snape constantly playing with his feelings? He fucking loved him so much! And it hurt, so, so bad… “Why does it amuse you so much to keep tormenting me? You chose someone else, Snape!” said Harry, whose voice broke, as he kissed the last of his pride goodbye, “You have a lover, <i>for the duration</i>. Go to him, damn you, and let me die in peace!” He opened the door, ready to step out of the room.<br /><br />“Five minutes of your time… Harry. Please, let me explain myself. I… I beg you.”<br /><br />Snape saying please? Begging? Harry sighed and wiped his face, so tired suddenly, so heart sick, and confused, and so, so hurt. He closed the door, turned around, and leaned against the doorjamb, arms crossed. Snape looked as broken as Harry felt.<br /><br />“Thank you.” Snape pinched the bridge of his nose, apparently putting his thoughts in order, and took a deep breath. What could he possibly have to say? <br /><br /><i>Justin, tousled, naked, his cock still glistening with come, his pubes matted with lube, hard again, “Severus, are you ever coming back to bed?”</i> <br /><br />Finally, Snape started talking, very softly. “You have been… my dream, Harry. A secret I kept deep in my heart since you grew from a child to a young man. But I had made sure you hated me. How was I to know, to ever imagine you could see beyond the abuse, the harassment, and that you would some day offer me my dearest wish? <br /><br />“After waking up from my coma, I… I lost my bearings for a while. I might have given up altogether, but someone noticed my descent into self-destruction and called me back from the brink with a series of written notes. He was the only one who saw, the only one who cared. I would have died without him. When I got better, I needed to know whom I owed my life to. He had made no secret of his gender, nor of his interest in me. I looked to the young men I suspected were so inclined, Mr. Zabini, Mr. McGraw, Mr. Marchbanks, Mr. Finnegan… Justin Finch-Fletchley admitted it was he who had written me before I even confronted him. I cannot help the way I feel about you, nor my response to your feelings, and Justin is not… well, he is what he is. But he wants to be with me and shouldn’t I give him what he wants when I owe him absolutely everything?”<br /><br />Harry wanted to scream at Snape for having been fooled by that worm, and wanted to kill Justin for usurping his place. Yet Snape was here, wasn’t he? Here for a one-night stand with the man who really loved him, whom he really loved. One night. Harry wanted it so badly. Should he just take what he could get, have this one night, and let Snape go? <br /><br />Over his dead body.<br /><br />He moved to the desk, found a biro (of all things!) in the drawer and a piece of parchment. He wrote quickly while speaking. <br /><br />“If he was the only one who noticed that you did not eat and wore gloves to hide your hands and something under you robes to hide how gaunt you had become, the only one who worried that you had cut yourself off from everything and everyone, that you did nothing but teach and sleep, then of course he deserves your gratitude… and certainly your loyalty.”<br /><br />Snape nodded, accepting the gentle rebuke, and looked relieved that Harry understood. He waited patiently as Harry wrote. Harry felt the man’s eyes travelling on his body, his profile, as if he was the most fascinating thing he had ever seen. Finished with his note, he looked up and their eyes met. The dark gaze was so intense, so full of meaning that Harry had to break eye contact or he would succumb to temptation and do something foolish.<br /><br />Harry handed Snape the piece of parchment, folded in four. “You know how much I want you, but you should not be here, disappointed in who Justin is, resigned to a less than perfect relationship, and trying to get from someone else what you should get from him. You should be searching deeper behind his selfish, childish persona and trying to find the man who had the wherewithal to save you. Justin is my contemporary. Perhaps I can relate to him better, and help you open the lines of communication. Asking him the questions on this list might, I think, help you to find the person behind the notes.” <br /><br />Snape frowned and made as if to open the parchment. Harry stopped him. “No! Don’t look at this now, look at it when you both are ready to talk to one another. If after you discuss this with him you still want what you came for today, I will be here next Tuesday, and the next, and the next, waiting for you. I promise you that no matter what, I will love you with everything I have, everything I am, I will give you all that I can.”<br /><br />Harry could not help but walk to Snape and place his hand behind the man’s head. He closed the gap between them until their lips almost touched. “I love you so much,” he whispered, before kissing him desperately. Snape’s answer was no less passionate, raising the hair on the back of Harry’s neck and filling his cock with blood and expectations.<br /><br />“Harry… Harry, I…” <br /><br />Harry lay his hand on Snape’s lips. “Shhh… I’ll be here next Tuesday, and if you come then, you can tell me. But you owe it to the man who wrote these notes to get to know the real Justin. Good bye, Professor Snape.”<br /><br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_-_ </center><br /><br />Harry left and Severus collapsed on the chair in front of the fire. He was so in love with Harry. This was the man he wanted, the kind of man he had hoped for, a man who, though in love with him, sent him back to his lover to talk, to resolve their uneven relationship, reminding him he owed the man gratitude <i>and</i> loyalty.<br /><br />Snape apparated to Hogwarts gates and walked to his quarters. As he expected, as soon as he stepped in, Justin appeared from the bedroom, in his usual t-shirt and boxers. He’d evidently just come out of the shower, his ringlets still moist. He ran to Severus and kissed him, tears in his eyes.<br /><br />“You’re back! I know you were mad. And it’s Tuesday. I thought… Oh, god, I was sure you’d… I know I’m a lousy top, and childish and demanding. I was being ridiculous, asking for things you cannot give me yet. Thank you for coming back, for not… going to someone else. Feel me! I’m so hard for you. Let me fuck you. I want to. I want inside you, please…” He pulled Severus inside the bedroom.<br /><br />“Justin…”<br /><br />“Please Severus. Let me show you how I feel!”<br /><br />Snape stayed silent for a minute and finally said, “No, Justin. Not this time. This time we shall talk first, as we should have done from the start. I need to get to know the man I owe my life to, and only once I do and can think of you in that context shall we make love again.” Severus sat in his bedroom reading chair, not wanting the distraction the bed could bring. <br /><br />Apparently appeased, Justin smiled at him as he sat on the armrest of the chair. “All right. Let’s learn things about each other if it is what you need. My favourite colour is blue, the name of my dog growing up was Chet, I was born August 17th, my middle name is Nathaniel. You?”<br /><br />Snape appreciated his willingness, though he meant to share more than silly facts. He answered, “Black, no pet, January 19th, Tobias.”<br /><br />“Tobias? I like Tobias. What else would you like to know?”<br /><br />Was it significant that the young man’s only remark had been that he liked the name of the father who had beaten Severus and his mother into unconsciousness more than once? Of course not. He was being unfair.<br />Severus was glad he had Harry’s suggested questions to guide him. It <i>was </i> difficult for him to know how to approach someone like Justin. He opened the first fold of the parchment given to him by Potter. There it said, “A memory game for lovers.” What was that about?<br /><br />“All right,” said Justin enthusiastically, reading over his shoulder. “I have a fabulous memory.”<br /><br />Maybe Potter knew what he was doing… Severus opened the paper all the way, turning it away from Justin and read aloud, <i>“How many words were in the first note you ever send me?”</i> <br /><br />In parenthesis was the answer: <i>(3)</i>, as if Severus could forget the “Eat, you Git!” that landed on his toast!<br /><br />“Severus! That was forever ago! Ask me another!” whined Justin. <br /><br />Severus shivered suddenly. How in the hell had Potter known this, and why didn’t Justin?<br /><br /><i>“Which note of yours did I completely ignore?”</i> He asked, reading the second question.<br /><br />The answer, again, appeared in parentheses. <i>(The third. “It’s only seven. Too early for bed. Go brew something.”)</i><br /><br />“How would I know if you ignored my note or not?” asked Justin. “I wasn’t aware you’d ignored any. Should I be mad?”<br /><br />Severus’s body was covered in cold sweat. Harry. Oh, God! This whole time, it had been Harry! Severus was so stupid, so blind! How many clues did Potter need to give him? He suddenly realized what Harry had said earlier, <i>“If he was the only one who noticed that you did not eat but wore gloves to hide your hands and something under you robes to hide how gaunt you had become, the only one who worried that you had cut yourself off from everything and everyone, that you did nothing but teach and sleep, then of course he deserves your gratitude and certainly, your loyalty.” </i><br /><br />Severus had never mentioned any of what “Justin” had observed, just that Justin had pulled him back from the brink. But Justin hadn’t, of course. Harry had. From the start, Justin had brazened it out, and continued to do so right now, with amazing aplomb. One had to admire his boldness.<br /><br />“No, you should not. It was unimportant,” Severus lied. More for himself than for the youth, whom he knew now to be a shameless usurper, he continued “Next: <i>Give me one of the reasons “why” you were glad I was better.”<br /><br />(In case you’ve forgotten them, they were in this note:<br /><br />Severus,<br />I do not have leave to use your given name, but considering I have already called you a git, I hope you will forgive me. I love the sound of it, when I speak it aloud.<br /><br />Why, you asked.<br /><br />Because I do not seem to be able to help watching you. <br /><br />Because I did not like the way your dark and forbidding presence was fading away. <br /><br />Because I missed the glint in your eyes. Though it so often was vicious in the past, even that would have been better than the awful flatness that had taken its place.<br /><br />Because I love the elegance of your walk and the way your hands dance when you teach, and I was afraid to lose them. <br /><br />Because though your old voice was beautiful and did sound like melted chocolate, your new voice drives me to distraction and sends shivers down my spine.<br /><br />All of them entirely selfish reasons I hope you will forgive.</i>)<br /><br />Severus reread them with tears in his eyes. He had given back that note, and had forgotten its exact contents. He loved all of them, because each and every one of them showed him Harry loved him.<br /><br />“My favourite was the fourth one, that one,” said Justin pointing. He had been reading the parchment Severus had neglected to keep hidden from him. It felt like a horrible violation. Realizing that if he stayed in the same room with this… person he would do something unforgivable, Snape stood up quickly. <br /><br />“Severus? Where are you going?” God! That petulant tone! “What are you doing?” <br /><br />Before Severus could answer, there was a knock on his quarter’s door. The perfect excuse, though the last thing Severus wanted was further public display of his indiscretion with <i>this</i> student, and further publicity that he had been so completely and disgracefully taken in by a scheming Hufflepuff. <br /><br />“I just recalled I had an appointment, Justin. Please do remain in the bedroom this time? I will not forgive your exposure of our liaison again nor your interruption of my duties to a Hogwarts student. I will be back as soon as I can, you can be sure of it.”<br /><br />Carefully closing the bedroom door behind him, he fought to regain his composure as he went to open the front door, determined to keep the interruption short and to then resolve the situation with Justin in as expedient and final a way as possible. <br /><br />He opened his front door on Blaise Zabini who was looking much the worse for wear. To see someone usually so controlled suddenly appearing so distressed was shocking enough that Severus forgot his decision and opened his door wider to let him in. Zabini held Snape’s letter of recommendation in his hand.<br /><br />Hoping to help the young man calm down, Severus offered, “Tea, Mr. Zabini?”<br /><br />“Yes, thank you, sir.”<br /><br />“Have a sit. I cannot help but notice you seem upset.”<br /><br />“I am sorry, sir,” said Zabini, making an obvious effort not to break down in front of his old Head of House. “I should be able to control my emotions better than some… Hufflepuff.” He had spat the word out with so much coldness, Severus would not have been surprised to see frost on his lips. Zabini took a deep breath, eyes closed, and after a moment was able to get to the heart of the matter. “I… I should have heeded your advice sir, and done what was best for my future without taking anyone else into account. My… boyfriend has found a better prospect and told me today he has decided to terminate our association.”<br />Strange. Finnegan had looked positively thrilled when telling Zabini about their lodging in Cambridge. <br /><br />“Do you mean he has decided to study with a Master himself, or study out of Britain?”<br /><br />“No sir,” answered Zabini bitterly. “He has apparently found himself an older lover who has already received his inheritance and therefore he sees no need to continues his studies at all. He can be kept in the fashion he is accustomed to without having to wait for my mother’s passing.”<br /><br />Shig popped into being holding a tea tray and served both men according to their taste, placing a plate of speculoos biscuits within Zabini’s reach. He immediately picked one up, dipped it in his tea and took a delicate bite. Shig looked pleased. She had obviously hoped to make him feel better in her own way with a personal favourite, displaying the power of observation and the true kindness of the small creatures.<br /><br />Finnegan as a fortune hunter? He did not seem the type. “Were you aware your mother’s fortune played a role in his choosing you as a lover?” asked Severus, taking a sip from his perfectly prepared cup. <br /><br />“No. He had always claimed to want, like me, to make his own way in the world. He also comes from a very wealthy background, but apparently, to benefit, would have to return to the Muggle world.” The young man drained his cup. Shig popped back in to refill it. <br /><br />Snape frowned. He had not been aware that the Finnegans were particularly wealthy, and was quite sure Seamus Finnegan was a half-blood. He left solving that puzzle for another time.<br /><br />“So, have you decided to work with a Master then?” he asked, concentrating on the probable reason for Zabini’s visit.<br /><br />“Yes, sir. As the matter of fact, if there was any hope of you remaining on at Hogwarts…”<br /><br />“I have decided to retire from teaching after this next year and move back to my family’s estate where I shall conduct private research…” Severus stopped. Moving to the Prince Mansion and travelling around the properties he had inherited from his ancestors and from Albus was something he was supposed to have done with Justin, Justin’s idea, really... But Justin would be exiting his life permanently that very evening. Severus loved teaching DADA, and Harry wanted to do a Mastery with him. He had no desire to retire now, to live off his inheritance… <i>his inheritance…</i> <br /><br />Oh, dear god.<br /><br />Could it be? Had he, the entire time, been mistaken as to the identity of Blaise Zabini’s lover? He brushed aside the thought and concentrated again on his interlocutor.<br /><br />“I apologize, Mr. Zabini. I seem to have been distracted for a moment. What I meant to say was that I <i>had</i> thought to retire and pursue private research but that circumstances have changed. However, I have already decided to accept the request to apprentice from another student, who would be pursuing a Mastery in Defence Against the Dark Arts. Were I to allow you to apprentice in Potions under my tutelage, the two of you would be called to spend a significant amount of time in each other’s company. It would therefore be most beneficial were your relationship to be harmonious. Mr. Zabini, how do you get along with Mr. Potter?”<br /><br />“Fine, sir. We are not close friends, just acquaintances, really and well… we have never been… involved. I respect him. He befriended Draco Malfoy at a time when, except for myself, Draco was friendless and absolutely without clout. I think that says a lot about his character.”<br /><br />“Very well. I will speak to him regarding his own Apprenticeship in the very near future, and then will let Headmistress McGonagall know of my intentions. You should receive confirmation of your status within the fortnight. Please remain discreet about it until then. There are a quite a few other people involved with whom I need to speak before it becomes public knowledge.”<br /><br />“Of cour…” Blaise Zabini’s beautiful dark mahogany skin turned grey, and he dropped his teacup into its saucer, breaking the last neatly in half. The cup then hit the floor and shattered on impact. He stood up, his arms falling to his sides, dropping the remaining half saucer to its splintering demise.<br /><br />“Justin?”<br /><br />Severus turned around. It was a replay of the Potter incident, though mercifully this time a least Justin was wearing his boxers and his cock was not tenting them. Seeing his expression at the sight of Zabini, all of Severus’s suspicions came home to roost.<br /><br />“Professor Snape? Professor Snape is your better prospect?” asked Zabini, shattered.<br /><br />Justin’s eyes went from him to Severus and back, as he was obviously trying to think of some rational explanation he could feed Severus about this development. Severus made a quick decision. Never mind avoiding a public display. Justin was a despicable little shit, a lousy lay, and had almost ruined his chances with the man he loved. This was the perfect time to throw him out on his arse. <br /><br />In his coldest Professor Snape voice he said, “Mr. Finch-Fletchley, you will put your uniform back on and vacate these premises immediately and permanently. Whether your intention in showing yourself in such a state of dishabille is to tarnish my reputation with rumours of my associating with a student, or whether it reflect some ridiculous hope to actually entice me in some sexual congress, let me make it clear to you that your presence here is now completely unwelcomed.”<br /><br />Justin, looking guilty and yet apparently wrongly believing he could talk himself back into Severus’s good grace, opened his mouth to respond. Severus interrupted him, pinning him with a glare. “I have no interest whatsoever in hearing anything more you may have to say, now or ever.” He waved his suddenly appeared wand in Justin’s direction. “To prove my point, were you to again address me or approach me, or be seen anywhere in the dungeons where, since you do not take potions, you have no business loitering, you shall lose the power of speech. The first time for three hours, the second for three weeks, the third time permanently. Is that clear?”<br /><br />“But Sev…” Justin grabbed at his throat, panicked, as his lips worked and no sound came forth. <br /><br />Severus rolled his eyes. “Were you under the impression I was anything less than serious, Mr. Finch-Fletchley? Let this be your first warning: Three hours without your voice. Do not make the mistake to try and speak to me again. Now kindly remove yourself from my sight. Gather whatever belongings you have had the audacity to pollute my private space with and be gone.“<br /><br />Severus slammed the door to the bedroom shut with a wandless push, hopefully on Justin scrambling to assemble his clothing and toiletries. Blaise had sat back down, bewildered. Snape sat down again as well, across from him.<br /><br />“So, Mr. Zabini, where were we?” he asked, as if Justin’s interruption was not worthy of mention.<br /><br />“You… Uh, you wanted me to keep the news of your decision to accept me as an apprentice to myself for a while.”<br /><br />“Just so. Will there be anything else?”<br /><br />Zabini looked at the closed bedroom door, unable to follow his mentor’s lead and dismiss the recent development so easily. “Did you really curse him, sir? Would he actually permanently lose his voice?”<br /><br />“Mr. Zabini, you surprise me,” said Severus with mild reproach.<br /><br />Blaise Zabini said, “There is no such curse, is there?”<br /><br />“Of course not,” acquiesced Snape, approvingly. “I just used a wandless, wordless Silencio spell. As you are aware, without a proper Finite Incantatem, it will take about three hours to wear out.”<br /><br />Zabini confided quietly, evidently needing to speak to someone about his pain. “He has been lying to me for weeks, saying he needed time alone to study for the NEWTS without distractions, to do well and make me proud. Draco told me I was a fool, that Justin was a liar and a cheat and that he and Draco had continued a sexual relationship, despite our involvement, until quite recently. Drake said he finally had put an end to it because he’d fallen for someone, Potter, I think.” <br /><br />He shook his head as if disbelieving his own stupidity. “Draco has been my best friend for seven years, but still I chose to believe Justin, who said Draco was just jealous of our closeness.” Once again, his voice was filled with bitterness when he added, “Until this morning that is, when Justin laughed at me and told me what I believed to be his undying love had all been a fabrication. I don’t think I will ever be able to love or trust anyone again.”<br /><br />Though hating to state such ineffective platitudes, Severus answered, “You may not believe so now, but you will love again, Mr. Zabini, someone worthy of your attachment this time.” On a whim, he continued, “ And in the next three years, I am sure you will learn to trust again, as well. You will, after all, associate in that time with two of the trust worthiest wizards in all of Britain.”<br /><br />“Sir?”<br /><br />Severus said with a smirk, “The first is Harry Potter, of course, a perfect Gryffindor and a gentleman, whom you can blindly trust with your very life, and I am the second.” <br /><br />He looked thoughtful. “Well, unless you are the follower of some Dark Lord, in which case I’ll betray you as a matter of fact… Or an annoying student, to whom I will lie with a straight face about an imaginary curse that will take off his ba… pardon me, his voice… Other than these caveats… and perhaps a few… well, <i>quite</i> a few others, I am absolutely trustworthy. Somewhat. For a Slytherin, that is…”<br /><br />Blaise Zabini started laughing quietly, his shoulders shaking. Severus was astonished at himself. He had created that little tirade for the sole purpose of making the young man feel less wretched, and it had worked. It was surprisingly rewarding.<br /><br />They were still smiling when Justin came out of the bedroom with a large bag on his back. He seemed nonplussed to find them in such a good mood and, his face bathed in tears, did not seem to know whom to direct his pleading blue eyes towards. Which of these two suckers was most likely to take him back? It didn’t help when, after barely glancing his way, they continued their conversation. With a silent wail, Justin ran out of Severus’s quarters and slammed the door.<br /><br />“Well, Mr. Zabini,” said Severus, getting up, “Good luck with your NEWTS, and I am looking forward to continuing your education this September.”<br /><br />“Yes, sir. Goodnight, Sir.”<br /><br />“Goodnight, Mr. Zabini.”<br /><br />Alone in his quarters, Severus went to his bedroom. There was a letter on his pillow with his name on the envelope. He took it and threw it in the fire without bothering to read it. The idea of sleeping in a bed where he had <i>made love</i> to a man (a Hufflepuff, no less!) who had succeeded in so completely fooling him did not sit well. He called Shig, apologized for the late hour, but asked that his bedroom and bathroom be scoured clean immediately, and the towels, sheets, and comforter cover replaced.<br /><br />It would not erase his disgrace but might ease its sting, somewhat. The elf surprisingly asked for three hours. Severus retired to his sitting room to wait. He sat down in front of a freshened tea tray, on which Bourbon Biscuits had replaced the Speculoos, one of his rare indulgences, and extracted Harry’s note from his pocket, to finish reading it.<br /><br /><i>“No more questions for Justin,”</i> it read. <i> “Hopefully, your conversation with him was enlightening.<br /><br />“I told myself I would not give you a chance to hurt me again, but after what you said this evening, I can’t help feeling hope. I let go of the hatred you voluntarily inspired when I realized it had only been a necessary evil, for you to protect me. That done, how could I help falling in love with you, as I learned to see you for who you really are? It seems as if a part of you has thawed after years of winter. <br />It was so amazing the first time I saw you smile… I love your smile. I want to kiss it, feel it against my naked skin, and be the source and the recipient of it, again, and again. Your laugh! It’s ridiculous that it was such a shock to realize that you could laugh. <br /><br />“This week, we will see each other in class, maybe even have to talk to each other but I would rather wait to discuss this until you know for sure what you want, so that whatever you decide, you’ll have had a chance to really think about it. I’ll wait in bedroom number eight next Tuesday, and either you’ll join me, or you won’t. I will accept your decision. But if you do come to me, you might as well know that I will never let you go again and that I will do everything in my power to show you, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that you made the right decision…<br /><br />Yours, Harry.”</i><br /><br />Severus’s lowered the note to his lap, and took a deep breath. He closed his eyes. “<i>Yours,</i>” it said. Harry was <i>his</i>. He buried his face in his hands, stopped fighting, and allowed his relief, his gratefulness, happiness, hope, fear and love to overcome him. The last of his frozen heart, his capacity for love, empathy, friendship, trust, joy and generosity was freed from its seventeen-year ice-lock. Eventually, his shoulders stopped shaking. Severus took a linen napkin off the tea tray, wiped his face and blew his nose in it, imagining his maternal grandmother turning over in her grave at that breach of etiquette and smiling about it.<br /><br />He was exhausted. He reclined on his leather couch, which he had picked because it comfortably accommodated his 6’4” frame, closed his eyes, and fell immediately to sleep.<br /><br />It was two in the morning when Shig shook him gently and told him she and the other elves were done. Severus felt both guilty and a little ridiculous about his request to her, but she seemed thrilled. He accompanied her to his bedroom, planning to express his appreciation, and was blown away.<br /><br />Gone were the beiges and browns. The walls were a beautiful blue grey. The furniture had evidently been cleaned and waxed in a darker, almost chocolate colour. On the bed were crisp white sheets with a border of blue lace and a beautiful dark blue velvet duvet cover with some silver-grey embroidery, matching bed curtains lined with silk the colour of the walls, a gorgeous rug covering almost the entire stone floor, with intricate designs of blues and greens including fantastic flowers and animals…<br /><br />He was almost afraid to enter the bathroom… It too had been repainted, in a lighter blue, and in a surprising addition to the existing large claw foot tub and the glass enclosed corner shower, there now was a second pedestal sink, twin to his own. There were new grey towels and new mirror-lined silver sconces on the walls, the candles giving a truer yet somehow softer light than the torches that had been there before. He went back to the bedroom where he faced five smiling elves in their Hogwarts tea towels, standing in a line besides Shig. <br /><br />“You have all performed your task well above expectations this evening,” he said to them, honestly. <br />“These rooms are very beautiful. I am deeply grateful for your hard work.”<br /><br />One of them answered, “Master Snape is welcome,” and all five popped out of sight. Only Shig remained.<br /><br />“How did you know to choose this particular blue, Shig?” asked Severus, out of curiosity.<br /><br />“Years ago, Shig is hearing Master Severus say the colour of the sky after the rain is being so soothing.”<br />Severus nodded, vaguely recalling a conversation he’d had with Hagrid. He ran his hand on the soft velvet of the duvet, and looked more closely at the embroidery. “Two snakes for Slytherin, the crowned raven for the Prince crest, but why the three small flowers?” he asked.<br /><br />“One Snake <i>is</i> for Master Severus being a Slytherin. The other one is for Master Harry being a parselmouth. And the three flowers is being the Potter crest for when Master Harry is moving in.”<br /><br />Severus looked up sharply. “Shig, what are you talking about?”<br /><br />“Shig is knowing Master Severus loves his Harry, sir, and Kreacher is knowing Master Harry loves his Severus,” she said matter-of-factly. “The nasty lying two faced little worm go bye-bye, so Master Severus and Master Harry is getting together soon now.”<br /><br />The ancient elf grinned at Severus, her face as wrinkled as an old apple, patting the new bedding, “and they is making lots and lots of good sex right here.” She cackled. “About time there be lots and lots of good sex in here! Master Severus is deserving it!” Still cackling, she dissaparated, leaving Severus in shock.<br /><br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_</center><br /><br />Harry had stepped out of The Three Broomsticks to try to get his wayward emotions under control. His meeting with Snape had created an upheaval in his wary heart. Had he done the right thing? Was it better for Snape to discover he had been duped on his own, instead of hearing it from Harry? What if Snape decided not to use his questions in his conversation with Justin and allowed that worm to further ensconce himself in his life? Did Snape harbour other feelings besides gratitude for the cheating Hufflepuff? <br />Would Harry once again wait in vain for a sign that Snape wanted to be more than his teacher?<br /><br />Their kiss had been so lovely. To Harry’s passionate desperation, Snape had answered with no less passion, but with a tenderness Harry would not have thought to expect from the man. It had made him feel precious, beloved, in ways he had not experienced before. Fennel, mint, aniseed. Snape’s mouth had had the clean taste of plants, his tongue gently caressing, yet possessive. <br /><br />Harry allowed himself a few moments of fantasy, imagining what other surprises he might find, making love to that man. He had never doubted, for whatever reason, that Snape was a bottom, his perfect match. He pushed the thought away, desperate not to hope, knowing that if Snape did not come to room eight Tuesday next, a part of him would die forever.<br /><br />He took a deep breath of cool night air. He had glimpsed Ron red hair as he passed the main room of the pub. He needed to be with his friends, to distract himself right now. He re-entered the pub, grateful for the noise, the feeling of excitement, the warmth of friendship.<br /><br />“Harry! Mate! I was hoping you’d come back!” said Ron, not hiding his pleasure at Harry’s presence. Draco, Michael and Ginny had joined Julius and Seamus. Luna and Neville were there as well, talking with Daphne and Astoria Greengrass. Draco looked at him and smiled warmly, and Harry noticed two shots of Firewhisky in front of the blond, both on coasters, and both ignored. As soon as he sat down a butterbeer, also on a coaster, appeared in front of him and Rosmerta said, “From the blue robe at the bar.”<br /><br />“Take it back, Rosmerta, and say thanks, but no thanks. That goes for the whole evening, actually, though do bring me one I’ll pay for myself, please?”<br /><br />She gave him a smile that reminded him she knew who had been in room number eight that evening. She looked very happy about his decision not to get together with anyone else that night, though she was bound to have noticed he’d only been gone less than half an hour. He wondered just how close a friend she was to Severus Snape.<br /><br />When the next shot of Firewhisky was put in front of Draco, Harry pushed all three untouched glasses in front of the blond and asked Draco. “Who are they from?”<br /><br />“Turpin is the shot without the coaster. The dark haired bloke over there and the short blond bloke at the bar are the other two.” Then he added, making eye contact with Harry, “but I thought I might finish the evening with a friend, instead.”<br /><br />Harry looked at Draco’s prospects. He didn’t know the blond, but the ‘dark haired bloke’ was Marcus, who smiled at him and shrugged. Harry smiled back at him. “The dark haired bloke’s name is Marcus. He’s very nice.” He looked at Draco. “I mostly came to see Ron, tonight,” he lied. “I’m really tired. I’ll be going to bed as soon as we get back.”<br /><br />Draco looked in his eyes for a moment, then nodded and downed Marcus’s shot before getting up and heading to the bathroom. Harry caught sight of them walking to the floo a little later. Good. He had no intentions of getting together with anyone that week, as stupid as it may be considering his history with Snape.<br /><br />He had a great time hanging out with Ron and Hermione. He caught up with the news of the Weasley family. Arthur and Molly had temporarily moved to a large mansion belonging to the Ministry, where the war orphans were housed, while the Burrow was being rebuilt. Molly had accepted an administrative position at the orphanage.<br /><br />Charlie was bowing to Molly’s pressure to marry and settle down, though to her chagrin, Katarina, his fiancée, was from the village outside the Dragon preserve, and Charlie marrying a native would dash her hopes of him returning home soon. (Harry and Hermione’s eyes met. Hermione, like he did, obviously remembered that Seamus’s <i>gaydar</i> had identified Charlie as being homosexual. Charlie had always seemed to be his own man, and Molly and Arthur were as tolerant a wizarding couple as could be found, and yet… Hermione made a face, half apologetic, half resigned. Harry shrugged his shoulders slightly. He would not lie about his sexual identity, even if it meant alienating his surrogate family. ) <br /><br />Making Molly feel better had been Fleur’s announcement that she was already pregnant again. Victoire was barely three months old! Ginny wondered out loud if Bill was trying to outdo his father.<br /><br />To Harry’s surprise, Ginny said she and Michael were planning on living at the Burrow with her parents once it was finished, both of them going for their primary school teaching certificate, and planning to teach at the orphanage afterwards. Apparently, Michael did not have much of a family life growing up, and he adored Molly and Arthur. Harry could relate…<br /><br />The next DADA class was the best Harry had ever had. Yes, it consisted mostly of review with only little practice, in view of the looming NEWTS. But as his classmates bend their heads to their work, Harry met Snape’s eyes, and the man smiled at him, an intimate, sexy kind of smile that Harry had never seen before. It had a very life affirming effect on Harry’s cock. They only looked away from each other when Zabini raised his hand to ask a question. Harry’s heart drummed away against his ribs for the reminder of class, and when Snape asked him to stay back for a few minutes, it threatened to jump out of his chest.<br /><br />Once all the other students had left, he approached Professor Snape’s desk. The dark eyes met his again, yearning, yearning. Yet, Snape’s voice was cool and even when he spoke. <br /><br />“Mr. Potter, were it on offer, would you still consider pursuing a Mastery in DADA as my apprentice?” <br /><br />“Definitely, sir.” Harry felt like jumping for joy, but tried his best to contain himself. He had to make an effort to concentrate when Snape continued.<br /><br />“Mr. Zabini has expressed a desire in doing the same studying Potions. Were I to accede to both your requests, you would be spending quite a lot of time in his company. Would that be objectionable?”<br /><br />“No. Blaise seems nice. We are no more than acquaintances, but we have friends in common. I am sure we wouldn’t have any problems getting along.” <br /><br />“Excellent. I will share my decision to accept mentoring the both of you with the Headmistress this evening. You shall be receiving an official letter of acceptance in the next few days. Good evening, Mr. Potter.” Snape’s gaze was nowhere near as dismissive as his words. Harry could have sworn he felt the heat of it as it roamed his body. When it returned to Harry’s face, he felt himself blushing. Eyes hot, Snape gave him that sexy smile again.<br /><br />Basking in its warmth, Harry had to work hard to manage an answer. “Thank you for accepting my application. Good evening, Professor.” He stood there an unexpectedly long time before tearing himself away and leaving the classroom.<br /><br />Harry’s buoyant mood made Hermione smile, though he would not yet share the reason behind it. He was thrilled Snape was no longer planning on leaving Hogwarts, but tried hard not to assume it meant the man he loved would be in room number eight on Tuesday. He wouldn’t risk telling her anything until he had held Snape in his arms again.<br /><br />The next boost to his optimism came from the most unlikely quarters on Friday evening. Hermione was tutoring younger students in Arithmancy, and the weather was pleasantly mild, so Harry decided to study alone by the lake after Quidditch practice, under the large Oak tree against which he had fucked Angus. He was absorbed in his Transfiguration review when someone sat next to him.<br /><br />“Hey, Potter. How is it going?” asked Justin Finch-Fletchley.<br /><br />Harry resisted the urge to drown the other man in the lake and instead answered mildly, “Hi, Fletch. Nice evening, isn’t it?”<br /><br />Justin smiled. Harry tried to look at him without prejudice. He was very attractive, really. His curls were very cute, his eyes a nice clear blue. He was also tall and well built, his skin golden, and his smile was very white. As he stretched, his t-shirt rode up on a nicely toned stomach.<br /><br />“Very nice evening. The light is beautiful this time of the year. Transfiguration?”<br /><br />“Yes. There’s so much of it…”<br /><br />“I know!” Justin agreed. “Not my favourite, either.” He sighed heavily. “I’m pretty far behind, actually. When Blaise and I were a couple, it was hard to study together, you know. We were easily distracted… And then (as I think only you and Blaise are aware of), I had that fling with Snape.” He rolled his eyes. “He was so into me, wanting me to come around all the time, it ate up all my free evenings. Now I’m working like mad to make up for lost time.” He sighed and added, as if to himself, <br />“What a mistake that turned out to be… It cost me the love of my life.”<br /><br />That, Harry had to hear. “If Blaise was the love of your life, what in Merlin’s sweet Britain possessed you to have an affair with Snape?”<br /><br />Justin shrugged. “I really like to fuck. More than the average bloke, you know? Blaise knew that, and he knew I really loved him, so he was not bothered when I fucked around. Draco and I fucked pretty much the whole time I was with Blaise, and it’s not as if Blaise didn’t know. They’re best friends! <br /><br />“Snape offered to loan me a book, and I went by his quarters one evening. I hadn’t fucked for like, two days! Drake had stopped being available because he fell in love with you, and Blaise was busy with an Ancient Rune project. Anyway, I got to Snape’s early, and he’d just had a shower. It was obvious he had just thrown on his robes with nothing under them, and he sported this huge hard on. He saw me looking and parted the robes at the front. He is a fucking ugly git, but he has a magnificent cock. I couldn’t resist. I got on my knees and sucked him off. He said it was the best blowjob he’d ever had, and next thing I knew, he was fucking me on his couch. He is a total top, and such an amazing fuck!”<br /><br />He was staring Harry in the eye, convinced apparently that it would make him seem more truthful. Even without trying, Harry could see the lies forming in his mind before he spouted them, his constant calculations all but projecting his thoughts.<br /><br />“I was addicted. And all of a sudden, he wanted more. Exclusivity. I was really stupid, ‘cause I didn’t see it coming: I mean, I was the prettiest thing Snape’d ever had in his bed! He started to get all possessive, wanting me to break up with Blaise, to move in with him. When Blaise asked him for a letter of recommendation to Cambridge, he told him he would only give it to him if Blaise would leave me alone. I had not told Blaise how often I saw Snape, or how possessive Snape had become. He thought I returned Snape’s feelings, that I had not just been fucking around, but having an affair with the ugly old git! He also didn’t take it well when my extra-curricular activities threatened his future…”<br /><br />Justin was adapting his story to the reaction he thought he could read on Harry’s face. He was a very good liar, embroidering on the truth, bending reality, building his prevarications on actual events. His blue eyes filled with tears.<br /><br />“No matter what I said, Blaise would not believe that I had not encouraged Snape, that his plans were one sided. Blaise…” He wipes his eyes. “He cut me off. Completely! He won’t even talk to me, even though I immediately ended it with Snape. Snape was jealous of everyone, my friends, my housemates, the other fags in school… but he actually became physically abusive when you walked in on us. He hit me that night. He didn’t want anyone to know he was fucking a student. He didn’t want a relationship of equals, he wanted to own me, to hide me naked in his dungeon at his beck and call. Well, I just will not be someone’s dirty little secret, you know? Now he’ll probably fail me in DADA.” He shook his head, as if struck all over again by the unfairness of it all.<br /><br />He sighed. “I haven’t had a good shag in days…” He looked at Harry with a coy smile, letting his eyes roam up and down Harry’s body. “You know, with your new clothes, you’re sexy as fuck… Only the Chosen Few know you’re bent, but they can’t stop singing your praises. You’ve taken Hogwarts’ queerdom by storm!” He smiled flirtingly at Harry. “So, anyway, here I was, over there, unable to concentrate on my work, because I am as horny as all get out, and I saw you over here, all alone and gorgeous. How about we take a break?” He very obviously relocated his forming erection to sit more comfortably.<br /><br />Harry gave him his coldest stare. “I actually avoid fucking pathological liars, because they obviously cannot be trusted,” he said, reading the Hufflepuff’s plans in his eyes as if they’d been written in red ink on his forehead. “And I can only fuck people I trust, because Merlin only knows how much someone might get paid by the Daily Prophet or the Witch Weekly to out me to the public. Less than reliable people might very well be tempted to sell their story.” <br /><br />He smiled warmly at the worm. “So, Fetch, would you rather I obliviate you from the knowledge that I am queer, or would you prefer to swear a wizard oath to never say anything about it to anyone?”<br /><br />“What the fuck?” exclaimed Justin, with a perfect imitation of rightful indignation. “Harry! I would never sell you out! Besides, you’ve not asked the other queers in school to swear wizard oaths!”<br /><br />Harry’s smile turned very cold. “Ah, but you’re a special case, Justin… You see, I am the one who wrote to Severus Snape the notes that you took credit for, and I happen to be in love with him. I will not let you besmirched neither his nor my reputation with the lies you plan to sell to the highest bidder. So, again: your choice. Obliviation, or wizard oath?”<br /><br />“Fuck you, Potter!” Justin got up, pissed off his plan had failed, and started storming off in the direction of the castle.<br /><br />Harry pointed his wand at Justin’s retreating back and whispered “Obliviate!” I was not an easy task to successfully cast such a tricky spell without eye contact, and on a moving target to boot. It really wasn’t Harry’s fault <i>at all</i> that Justin not only forgot completely that Harry was gay, but also forgot ever getting anything more from Severus Snape than a dreadfully boring book he had returned the next day. The almost six weeks of nightly visits to the dungeon he now remembered spending reviewing for the NEWTS, and was quite annoyed by how little progress he had made.<br /><br />Now that Blaise Zabini had broken up with him after finding out about his affair with Draco, he’d have more time to study. Hopefully he would make more serious headways. He needed decent grades to keep his spot in Charms at Cambridge… Maybe he should start studying with Zachariah Smith. His fellow Hufflepuff was a poof too, so he might be able to convince him that fucking was a great study break. Not wasting any time, he turned his steps towards the library, in search of his housemate.<br /><br />Harry contemplated his action. He had used Legilimency (though really without even trying) on a fellow wizard without his knowledge, and had Obliviated said wizard of his relationship with Severus Snape. He could justify himself by pretending he did not want Justin to ruin Snape’s reputation, but truthfully, he hated the fact that that berk should know what Snape smelled like, tasted like, sounded like during sex and looked like as he came. He also could not stand the worm taking pride in having fooled the most Slytherin of Slytherins for weeks, when in fact he had used a man temporary weakness, brought on by surviving the most traumatic event imaginable, to his advantage.<br /><br />No matter what spin he put on it, Harry knew his actions had been reprehensible. The fact that no one but himself would ever know he’d abused his magical power actually made it worse. It was shameful and wrong. He swore to himself to never do anything like that again. <br /><br />Happy with his decision, and philosophically accepting that his remorse regarding his actions towards Justin were probably not quite what they should have been, he returned to his Transfiguration notes. He tried very hard not to think about the implications of Snape throwing the Hufflepuff out on his ear, but failed abysmally. He gave up studying and went to bed, his dream of Severus’ kiss seemingly lasting the entire night.<br /><br />The next day, he insured a Gryffindor victory over Ravenclaw by catching the snitch under their seeker’s nose. He spent the rest of the day studying Charms with Draco and Hermione, who really got along well these days. Hermione left early to meet Ron, and he and Draco walked around the lake quizzing and teasing each other. It seemed a bit out of the blue when Draco mentioned, “You were right, by the way. Marcus Lestrange is a nice man.”<br /><br />“Yes. I like him.”<br /><br />“He said you two wouldn’t see each other again because he was too close to falling for you and because you… you were in love with someone else.” Draco’s silver grey eyes were really quite beautiful. Unique, certainly. “Are you in love, Harry?”<br /><br />Harry chuckled. “Draco, do you really think I’m stupid enough to give you the ammunition to tease me to death until the end of the year?”<br /><br />Draco stopped walking. “I wouldn’t tease you. I’m in love too,” he said softly.<br /><br />Shit. Justin’s words came back to Harry. <i>“Drake stopped being available because he fell in love with you.” </i> It had seemed one lie amongst many. Now, under the silver scrutiny, Harry felt the shadow of a doubt grow in his mind. He and Draco had grown close. He really cared about the blond. Sex between them was very good and full of affection. No! Please Merlin, no. He didn’t want to lose Draco’s friendship, their easy banter. <br /><br />“Severus Snape,” he blurted out, hoping with all his heart that things would be OK. “I’m in love with Professor Snape.”<br /><br />Draco bit his lower lip. “I thought so,” he replied calmly. “He is an amazing man, isn’t he? I had a crush on him for years. You know what Harry? I’ve seen him look at you. I think there’s a pretty good chance the feeling is mutual.” Draco smiled at him, a real smile, not even one of his patented smirk. <br />Harry was so relieved he felt a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.<br /><br />“What about you Draco. Who has finally managed to find and take a hold of your elusive heart?”<br /><br />Draco gave him the strangest look before stating, “I asked Greengrass if I could have my father speak to hers. Astoria. We’ve been talking a lot in the evenings. She is very smart, and funny. Intriguing. She is really down to earth, too.” <br /><br />Harry never noticed Draco had not actually answered his question. “And so blonde,” he teased.<br /><br />“Is she? I hadn’t noticed,” lied Draco. They cracked up. Draco added, serious once more, “She had two conditions. One, that after we’re betrothed I never fuck another woman beside herself, and two, even though she doesn’t give a rat’s ass if I continue to fuck men to my heart’s content, that I immediately stop fucking <i>you</i>.”<br /><br />“Me? Why did she single me out?”<br /><br />“I told you she and I talk a lot. She knows…” Draco blushed, but he went on, ”…how much your friendship means to me, and she can handle that, but she says if she and I are to be a couple, I can only make love to her, and she thinks that’s what you and I do. Make love, you know, not fuck.”<br /><br />“Oh.” Girls… They were so weird, thought Harry.<br /><br />“Yeah.” Draco added, “She’s the right one for me, Harry. I can see spending my life with her, and actually being happy to have her for my wife. I can very easily imagine learning to love her. And you love Severus, and I bet you he is not one to share, so… I’m going to agree to her conditions.”<br /><br />“Draco, you don’t owe me an explanation! I’ve always known you’d get married, and if it can be a love match, Merlin! That’d be wonderful. I want you to be happy. The sex between us is really good, but it’s not what matters to me.” He looked at Draco, joking, but serious. “If her condition was that we’d not be friends anymore though, I’d curse the bint…”<br /><br />Draco blushed again. “I’d never have agreed to that, Harry.”<br /><br />“Good. Because that would hurt like a bitch,” admitted Harry.<br /><br />“I know.”<br /><br />“Are we gushing?” joked Harry, grinning.<br /><br />“About how much we value our friendship? Yes. I think we are.”<br /><br />“Malfoy, you have a shit influence on me.”<br /><br />“Bullshit. Gryffindors are all sentimental saps. You have a bad influence on me.”<br /><br />They bumped shoulder, in that way they had, and continued their walk into the warm spring twilight, back to Charms once again.<br /><br />Harry studied again all of Sunday, to Hermione’s enthusiastic approval. He wanted to do well, not only for himself, but to prove he was worthy of Snape’s decision to apprentice him. <br /><br />It took a lot of effort, but he managed to pay some attention to his classes on Monday and sleep well that night by studying to exhaustion, but Tuesday was a wash.<br /><br />He woke up with his pyjamas sticking to his groin <i>and</i> a hard on. Palming his cock through the damp material, he closed his eyes and imagined undoing buttons on Snape’s robes for fifteen seconds before coming again. A week of celibacy and the looks he was getting from Snape were doing him in.<br /><br />He wanked again in the shower but got hard again at breakfast, watching Snape butter a piece of toast. Oh, for fuck’s sake!<br /><br />He was completely incapable of following his classes that day, snapping to it only in Transfiguration when McGonagall, annoyed at him, exclaimed, “Mr. Potter! Either you focus on your work, or if you keep being as distracted as a second year before his first Hogsmead visit, I will treat you like one and put you in detention for the evening!”<br /><br />Grading McGonagall’s first years’ homework until midnight was not an option. He vanished the mittens from his desk, and successfully Tranfigured several additional balls of wool into <i>K</i>ittens, a NEWT level transfiguration and not <i>M</i>ittens, which, after all, even a Muggle with a pair of knitting needles could manage.<br /><br />“What is with you, today!” exclaimed Hermione as they left the classroom, handing him the book he’d left behind. “Did you not get enough sleep, or what?”<br /><br />Harry could not help but grin at her. “Or what,” he answered, enigmatically.<br /><br />“What ‘or what’?” she insisted, baited, jogging a little to keep up with his hurried longer stride.<br /><br />Noticing, he slowed down to an easier pace and bussed her cheek on the move. “Dunno. I’ve just got a good feeling about today…”<br /><br />She smiled knowingly. “Does that good feeling have anything to do with a blond formerly known as ‘the ferret’?” she asked.<br /><br />Harry burst out laughing. It was so rare for her to be wrong. “Draco’s in love with Astoria Greengrass, so… no!”<br /><br />“Really?” Hermione looked completely shocked. “Boy,” she mumbled, frowning. “I can’t believe I got that wrong. I could have sworn he was head over heels for you!”<br /><br />Harry did not mention that, quite a few times, Draco had been heels over head for him. He smirked.<br /><br />“Hey! Is Ron coming to the Three Broomsticks tonight?” he asked.<br /><br />“No, Why?”<br /><br />“Uh… I don’t think I’m going to make it. Would have hated missing him.”<br /><br />“Seamus, Ginny and Michael are going, so I’ll tag along with them. I’m sure others will show. It’s become quite the tradition, hasn’t it? What have you got going?”<br /><br />What did he have going? A long shower with meticulous scrubbing, a close shave, time wasted trying on who knew how many outfits, rushing to the Broomsticks while everyone was still at dinner, and sitting in room number eight, slowly losing his mind waiting, hoping, despairing, talking to himself, waiting again, trying not to bite his nails… Hopefully, at some point, Severus Snape would make an appearance and put him out of his misery, or at ten-thirty he would leave. <br /><br />He had decided on ten-thirty as a cut off time, because really, if Snape could not be arsed to show up before that, he obviously did not feel about Harry quite as Harry felt about him, and Harry would not sit there pathetically waiting for him until dawn. He would go down to the pub and join whichever of his friends was still there, and drink the first drink send to him by a stranger, coaster or not, and fuck the rest of the night away.<br /><br />But Snape would come (and if Harry had his way, come and come and come…). Surely he would. He’d dumped Justin, accepted Harry as an apprentice, burned Harry’s clothes off his body with his eyes, given him these amazing intimate smiles… He was going to be there, Harry was sure of it. Almost. Oh, Merlin! What if he didn’t show? What if…<br /><br />“Earth to Harry? Hullooooo!”<br /><br />“Oh. Sorry Hermione. Uh… What?”<br /><br />She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Honestly. You’re pathetic. Will you tell me all about it tomorrow?”<br /><br />An image of himself pushing his cock slowly into Snape’s glistening hole flashed through his mind and his cock immediately stood at attention. <br /><br />“Well, maybe not all about it… We’ll see,” he answered, now imagining a heartbreaking note left for him on the desk of room eight, telling him “Thanks, but no thanks”.<br /><br />He sighed heavily, wondering if he could make it through the evening with his sanity intact. It was his own fault for insisting that Snape consider his decision for a whole week… <br /><br />Only Charms left to get through. <br /><br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_</center><br /><br />It took only twenty minutes of the Monday morning, 7th year, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff DADA class for Severus to realize Justin Finch-Fletchley had been Obliviated. The young man was paired with Zachariah Smith for duelling, students trying to cast a wordless Expelliarmus. Wordless spellcasting was difficult. Not all wizards were able to do it. Wandless, of course, was only for the very few.<br /><br />It was interesting that with the same education in DADA, the Gryffindors and Slytherins were generally so much more advanced in the subject than their Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff counterparts. Finch-Fletchley was a case in point. He could cast neither wordless nor wandless. Smith managed to cast the silent spell well enough for Finch-Fletchley’s wand to slip out of his fingers. In contrast, a wordless Experliarmus from Longbottom had send Greengrass flying backwards and fall on her rear-end as her wand spun halfway across the room just two hours before.<br /><br />Malfoy and Potter had been working at casting it with their back turned away from each other, succeeding brilliantly.<br /><br />“Professor, I just don’t get it!” Finch-Fletchley said. “Do I say it in my head, think it as loud as I can, or… what?”<br /><br />He looked genuinely flummoxed, and his appeal for aid had been devoid of anything beside his frustration. When Severus explained to him the concept of ‘intent’, reminding him of the technique used for Apparation, he listened attentively, and nodded in comprehension. His next attempt had Smith’s wand slide slightly forward, and Finch-Fletchley gave Snape a true smile in view of that obvious if small success.<br /><br />Severus confirmed with a very slight push of Legilimency that Finch-Fletchley viewed him as nothing more than his teacher. Severus did not even question who had so thoroughly and elegantly modified the young man’s memory. He knew of only one person who had the knowledge, the opportunity and the ability to do so. <br />Probably the practice as well. Obviously, none of the strangers Harry Potter had sex with on Tuesday nights were aware they had been fucked by the boy who lived, or Potter would have been outed on the front page of the Morning Prophet the next day. Why had he Obliviated Finch-Fletchley?<br /><br />Severus would have loved nothing more than to do it himself, but his personal ethics had stayed his wand. He had long ago decided to live with his mistakes and their consequences. He also knew, from early experiences, that Obliviating someone would do nothing about his <i>own</i> memories, would therefore not change the opinion of the only person whose judgment really ultimately mattered: himself. <br /><br />Perhaps Potter had wanted to save Severus the humiliation of having Finch-Fletchley tell the story of how he had fooled the man who had fooled Voldemort. Perhaps he had wanted to save Severus’s reputation, if Finch-Fletchley had intended to let the world know his DADA teacher had had a homosexual relationship with him. Regardless of the reason, and however questionable the action was, the protectiveness it revealed was the most exquisite surprise. <br /><br />Though he tried not to, Severus could not help but seek eye contact with Potter, again and again, amazed to see the thrill such a contact created in the young man’s eyes every time. Did Harry actually worry there might be a possibility that Severus would not come to their appointment? Had he no clue of the depth of Severus’s feelings? Well, he could not, could he? Judging from their recent past, it would make sense for Harry to be cautious.<br /><br />Sitting in his reading chair in front of his bedroom’s hearth on Monday night, Severus read Potter’s message again.<br /><br /><i>”Yours, Harry.”</i> <br /><br />Only twenty-four hours to go…<br /><br />Tuesday, Severus cancelled his last class, explaining to his happy students that he had a terrible migraine. He knew he was far too distracted to keep an eye on twenty thirteen year-olds throwing hexes at one another.<br /><br />Back to his quarters, he soaked in a relaxing bath then washed himself in the shower. He shaved closely and cleaned his teeth conscientiously. He dressed in his best set of robes, though they were cut on the same pattern as all the others. He was very conscious that Harry had exquisite tastes in clothing. Then again, Harry had never seen Severus wear anything different than teaching robes, so surely his wardrobe’s limitations had no bearing on Harry’s feelings.<br /><br />He had a sudden vision of he and Harry at Mrs. Malkin’s together, choosing clothing for Severus. It was a ridiculously compelling image, doing something so pedestrian with Harry. His fantasies so far had been mostly of them without clothes… Yet, the picture it drew was so appealing. Sharing a life, not just sharing a bed, but also sharing the small daily chores and necessary outings with Harry… Severus was astonished at the strength of his yearning for a future with the young man.<br /><br />There were still almost forty minutes before dinner. He had planned on leaving immediately afterwards, though Potter usually did not make it to The Three Broomsticks until later, around eight, but he could not stand sitting in the Great Hall, chit-chatting with his fellow teachers this evening. He put his cloak over his shoulders and used his sitting room’s fireplace to floo straight to The Three Broomsticks.<br /><br />Rosmerta was polishing glasses with a linen cloth, a ridiculous habit since the same glittering transparency could be easily obtained with a Charm, though she insisted that doing it without magic was relaxing. She looked up at him and grinned. Only a few of the tables were occupied this early in the evening.<br /><br />He went to his usual seat, and she came to stand across the bar from him. She put away her cloth and Transfigured herself a stool from an empty bottle crate. Resting her elbows on the bar and placing her chin on her hands, she teased him.<br /><br />“Aren’t we eager, this evening.”<br /><br />Snape could not help but smile. “You have no idea,” he answered honestly.<br /><br />Sitting straighter, she said affectionately, placing a hand on his, “It’s about time you fell in love, Severus… and I am glad to see you happy about it, and not torn to shreds by it as you were last week.”<br /><br />“I think perhaps I caught a break, and he did, as well,” he answered, referring to their discussion a week before. “He caught my heart, certainly.”<br /><br />She patted his hand, chortling, and once again he smiled, though he knew she was laughing at him. “Ah, Severus. I always knew you had it in you!” She laughed some more. “That’s a bold faced lie. You have always been so full of vinegar and piss I’m astonished to find you even have a heart to be caught. I thought you only had a spleen.” She was very pleased with her bon mot. <br /><br />He took her ribbing in stride. She had been a feature in his life for thirty years, and always had had a smile for him. She was a good friend, and a very beautiful woman. He squinted at her. No trace of Glamour. Her skin was firm and taught, with some lingering of the dewiness of youth. Yet, she had to be fifty at the very least. She did not look a day older than twenty, and never had… The hand on his was also unmarked by time. Why had he never wondered about that before? <br /><br />He realized she was watching his scrutiny with a smile on her face. “You finally noticed, did you? You know, Albus knew me for almost a hundred years and never caught on. It takes strong magic on your part and a lot of trust on mine for you to have become aware of the resilience of my youth.”<br /><br />He really wanted to know, but could not figure out how to ask without being rude. She laughed at him for the second time that night, then her hand went right through his, and for a moment he thought he saw the back of the bar through her body.<br /><br />“Have you ever seen me out of this place, Severus?” <br /><br />She smiled wistfully. “I was a nineteen year old naïve little barmaid when it happened… This place was owned by a wizard name Gifford, and in those days, working here practically made me part of his property. He’d been pinching my arse everyday as we worked and knocking on my door every night. He laughed with the customers that I was playing hard to get. I was terrified of him, but I had nowhere else to go. My dad was Keeper of the Keys at Hogwarts and a widower, and I was the oldest of nine. My family needed the money, so I didn’t dare complain.<br /><br />“It was expected that I should be willing for Gifford to take me over one of the cask in the back anytime he pleased, then that I would just brush off my skirt and get back to work. He got tired of waiting for me to give him what he wanted, and one night decided to just take it. He’d had the key to my room all along, and he just came in. I woke up with his hand on my mouth as he fumbled with my nightdress. I fought him. I fought him as hard as I could and I never stopped. Not when he ripped my gown, not when his hand slipped from my mouth to my neck in the struggle, not when he tried to pry my legs apart, not when I started seeing stars from the lack of air, not when I felt myself slipping away.”<br /><br />She wiped a tear. “I saw my mom, then, she was waiting for me in a beautiful place full of twirling magical light, with her sweet smile and her arms open. My gran was there too, and my brother Hamish, as died the year before from Dragon Pox. Still, from far away, I could hear Gifford say, “That a girl, let it happen sweetheart, you’ll like it…” and he felt him put his knees between my legs. Well, dead or alive, I would be damned if I let him get what he wanted! I could feel strong magic in that light beyond, a strange slippery kind of magic. I pulled some to me, as much as I could hold, and with all my might, I used it along with my magic to wish him dead.”<br /><br />She sighed. “All of a sudden it was dark again, and Gifford’s body was squashing me. I pushed him off with all my might. I smiled, too, because I’d killed him in time. I was still a virgin. After he rolled off my palette, I got my wand from beneath my pillow and got up. I cast Lumos. <br /><br />“Gifford was dead, all right, down on the floor, red in the face and still holding his cock. I was standing, naked as the day I was born, and in the bed was a very pretty girl with her eyes closed, and her lips blue. Her nightgown was torn and her legs spread, and I realized she was me. I tried to touch her pretty hair, but my hand went right through her, and my wand fell through my fingers. I could see through myself…<br /><br />“I was a ghost. But I’d pushed Gifford off! And I’d held my wand and done magic! I felt inside for my magic, but it was gone… That strange slippery magic I’d stolen from Heaven was still there, though. I called on it, and I was solid again. I bend down and picked-up my wand. I could hold it again.<br /><br />“By moonlight, I cast spells to bury the pretty girl under the strawberry patch, wrapped in my sheet. The slippery magic was strong, and I was getting used to it. I put Gifford in an empty cask, and sealed the lid. Hogsmead was small then, just a dirt path with a few buildings, and the pub’s property went as far back as the river, and as far forward as where Honeydukes stands now. I rolled the cask to the river, rolled it in. I did not feel the cold of the water. It was high with the spring thaw. Suddenly I felt as if I could go no further. I was in the middle of the river, and I let the cask go. Might have gone to the sea for all I know. Gifford was never found. <br /><br />“I realized I’d reached the edge of the property. I walked its borders. I could not cross them. I was meant to haunt The Three Broomsticks and nowhere else, and to this day, the limits of my haunting remain the borders of that original property, almost twelve acres in all. When they retraced and paved the road, two hundred years later, they brought it to my front steps, so I can walk across it, and into Honeydukes, as far as the chocolate display. I can look in the windows of Zonko’s on the right, and go as far as the crossroad on the left. Through the back door of the pub, I can walk the alley all the way to the Mead and along it, from the bridge to the cemetery.<br /><br />“The next morning I opened as usual, and when asked, I said Gifford had gotten an owl in the night from the head of his clan, summoning him home, and had left in a rush, not sure when he’d be back. Well, Gifford had come north to get away from the constant border wars with the English. He was from the clan Hay, all the way south in Berwick, on the North Sea coast. <br /><br />“There was no floo network then, and portkeys were not invented for another hundred years, so travelling was all Apparation or Muggle transport. The average uneducated wizard like Gifford could not Apparate much further than ten miles, and there were no Apparation coordinates to go by. A lot of the clans were feuding; you could not just pop up anywhere you pleased. At best, it would have taken him a month to get there and a month to return once his clan chief released him. He would have been gone a long time.<br /><br />“After a while, I noticed I could make people forget to ask about him. After a year, he was rarely mentioned. Another year and people hardly remembered him at all. Then the old ones died, and the young ones had only just known me, and seemed oblivious to my permanent youth. The Three Broomsticks has been mine for near to four hundred years now. The village grew, was partially burned to the ground and rebuilt. I had The Three Broomsticks enlarged and modernized and remodelled many times.<br /><br />“I see the students come and go, I live the dramas of Hogwarts through their tales and those of their Professors.” She grinned. “I’ve been the first crush of generations of young wizards, and I can trace families back through my memories. I would not have it any other way. I still cannot believe that Malfoy boy had the nerve to Imperius me…” She chuckled. “When I think that six generations ago I’m the one who introduced his blue eyed, dishwater blond namesake to the beautiful Moira Frasier of Lovat, she of the silvery eyes and platinum hair! And that’s how he repays me for his gorgeous looks. Ungrateful imp! Well, he did apologize to me very prettily after the war.” <br /><br />She smiled sweetly at Severus. “You will forget to remember any of this, you know. But I am glad you were one of the few who ever knew my story. I’ve always had a sweet spot for you, Severus.”<br /><br />She looked outside. “It’s getting on.” She pulled the key to room number eight from her apron pocket, and handed it to him. “Love him well, Severus. He has needed to be loved all his life.”<br /><br />Rosmerta was a ghost! Severus made his way up the stairs to the room. He was glad she had enthralled him with her tale. It had prevented him from going insane while waiting for Potter. Room number eight looked quite different than the last time he was in it. There was a roaring fire in the grate, so it was pleasantly warm. It also smelled fresh and green from several small bouquets of honeysuckle, and was softly illuminated by long, thin white tapers. The large four-poster was made up with crisp white sheets, a beautiful indigo duvet, bolsters and pillows.<br /><br />Severus removed his cloak, placing it on a hook behind the door. He resisted the impulse to go to the en suite and check his appearance, sitting down in the high back reading chair that faced the hearth and thinking back to his conversation with Rosmerta instead. Hmm… He recalled it had been quite fascinating. <br />But what had they been talking about?<br /><br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_-_</center><br /><br />Dinner was in full swing in the great hall when Harry left. It always felt strangely lonely to hear the din of it from the outside. He walked leisurely. He did not want to get there hot and sweaty from having rushed. Even if Snape used the floo immediately after dinner, Harry had a good half an hour to get to the pub, more than enough time. Truly, he did not expect Snape before eight, at the earliest, since he’d have gone to dinner right after his last class, and probably would want to bathe before leaving.<br /><br />At the pub, a few of the tables were occupied already, and Rosmerta was serving her delicious chicken potpie for dinner. Harry would ordinarily have loved a slice, but his stomach was on strike at the moment, protesting the cavalier way Harry was risking his heart. His lungs were in on the protest too, judging by how hard it seemed to be to get a full breath.<br /><br />Rosmerta grinned at him, and taking it out of her apron pocket, threw a key to Harry. He snatched it with ease. Number eight. His usual room. He grinned back at her and, on the way, hung his cloak on one of the hooks by the gents, with a sticking charm on it so it would not be taken home by someone else by mistake. He made his way up the stairs, unlocked the door and entered, a bit surprised by the décor.<br /><br />It was quite warm in there, and it smelled lovely. The thick curtains were closed on the twilight, and thin candles, placed all over, created a warm, soft light. He smiled to himself. Rosmerta too thought that Snape would come. He was too nervous to sit on the deep chair by the fire, which back was to him. <br /><br />Instead, he walked to the window and parted the drapes, trying to distract himself with the view of hustle and bustle of the small town. He loved Hogsmead.<br /> <br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_-_</center><br /><br />Severus had hardly begun to wonder why he could not, for the life of him, recall his and Rosmerta’s conversation, when he heard footsteps in the corridor. Was it Harry? Severus held his breath. The footsteps stopped and a key was placed in the lock. Harry was here… The door opened and he stepped in. <br />There was no mistaking that magical energy. Severus irrationally thought that Harry would undoubtedly hear his frantically beating heart. He should stand to welcome him but instead stayed frozen in his chair, overwhelmed by a mixture of excitement and anticipation, as if standing on the edge of a cliff, ready for the heart stopping freefall dive into the ocean far below.<br /><br />It was strange to be so fully conscious of the significance of a particular event in one’s life. Harry’s and his meeting, on this day, at this time, in this room, would be a pivotal, defining moment for him. He got up, silent as a cat, completely mentally and emotionally aware, savouring the present has never before. <br /><br />Harry was peaking at the street bellow through the curtains. Severus smiled. Though it was to be their first encounter, he felt none of the tentativeness one usually feels with a new lover. He knew, without question, how much Harry loved him, wanted him, and he trusted him completely.<br /><br /><i>Yours</i>, Harry’s note had said, and he did not doubt that for an instant.<br /><br />Without a sound, he stepped behind Harry and without warning, wrapped him in his arms, depositing a kiss on his temple. Harry showed no surprise, no alarm, but instead immediately relaxed in his embrace and said, a smile in his voice, “You’re here.”<br /><br />He turned in Severus’s grasp and faced him, letting the curtains drop back over the outside world. His smile illuminated his face, his green eyes glowing warm and soft. “You came.”<br /><br />“I wish I had never given you cause to imagine it might be otherwise.” <br /><br />Severus swept Harry’s rebel fringe back from his face. “I love you, Harry. I have loved you far longer than is appropriate, given your youth.”<br /><br />Harry hugged him tightly, his face buried against his scarred neck, sighing in relief. <br /><br />“Thank you,” he whispered.<br /><br />Severus chortled. “Yes, you should be ever so grateful to be loved by an ugly, cantankerous and bitter old man, for you, as a powerful, brilliant and gorgeous youth, have really so little to offer.”<br /><br />Harry looked up at him and grinned. “Don’t you dare make fun of the man I love. He is powerful too, and he defines brilliance. And wrapped in darkness, his severe features, his intense presence, his graceful strength are as beautiful as the night.”<br /><br />Severus raised a teasing eyebrow. “How very poetic. You are obviously blinded by your infatuation, Potter.”<br /><br />“Quite the opposite. It’s because I love you that see you as you really are.” Harry placed his palm on Severus’s cheek “And what I see is a man I want to share my life with. A man to make love to, to speak with of important and trivial matters, to seek counsel from, to lean on when I need strength and to support in his challenges, to wake up with everyday, to share a meal, a walk, a book with, to fight with and to make up with, and to grow old with. Are you that man, Severus? Am I that man to you?”<br /><br />Severus was overwhelmed. With his response, Harry was giving him everything he had ever hoped for. He recalled Septima’s words, months ago, <i>”Nothing in this world beats the happiness of loving and being loved in return. Nothing compares to a smile from the man you love and nothing is more pleasurable than a good shag.”</i><br /><br />Was he that man? Was Harry that man to him?<br /><br />“Yes, Harry. Yes to both, undoubtedly.” He was rewarded again by one of Harry’s beautiful smiles. Then Harry reached a hand behind his neck and pulled him down into a kiss. It didn’t matter that Severus was a half a foot taller, twenty pounds heavier and twenty years older: There was no doubt who commanded that kiss. Harry possessive mouth took his as a land conquered, invading it with a soft yet demanding tongue and a satisfied purr that might have even been a growl. <br /><br />Severus found himself being pushed relentlessly to the bed, until the mattress hit the back of his knees and he was toppled on top of it. By the time his back hit the duvet, it was naked, as was the young man climbing on top of him, pinning him down. Severus’s heart was beating hard, Harry’s dominating nature an amazing turn on.<br /><br />“I want to see you,” whispered Harry. One last caress to his cheek with burning eyes and he got on his knees next to Severus’s reclined body and looked his fill. Severus was suddenly very conscious of his thirty-nine years, of the spells, the beatings and the abuse, which had left their marks on his body, of how little he had ever cared about his appearance, of how pale and bony and imperfect his body was.<br /><br />Yet, as his eyes surveyed Severus’s long, thin and scarred form, Harry’s gaze was warm and full of desire. Harry’s cock, which had risen eagerly while they kissed, grew to a full erection, a shiny drop of slickness pearling at the tip. <br /><br />“You are beautiful.”<br /><br />Severus was about to refute the blatant falsehood when Harry ran his hand along the skin of his torso with such worshipful reverence, his eyes so full of appreciative wonder that he realized Harry meant what he’d said. He did think Severus beautiful; and suddenly, basking in that admiration, Severus could not help but feel that way.<br /><br />Harry’s eyes met his, and the younger man blushed. “I want you so much. I don’t even know where to start…”<br /><br />Feeling bold, Severus brought his feet to lie flat on the bed and let his knees fall open.<br /><br />“Oh, fuck,” Harry said with feeling.<br /><br />“Yes, please,” quipped Severus, his own cock so hard it pulsed with every heartbeat.<br /><br />Harry laughed and met his eyes. “All in good time,” he answered. Then he bent over Severus’s body and nuzzled the base of his cock. “Oh, Merlin! You smell so fucking good. Move up!”<br /><br />Severus’s body moved before he even processed the request, scrambling back to lie with his head on a pillow. Harry kneeled between his legs and placed a bolster under his hips. “Hold your knees back.” Was it Harry’s clear assumption of immediate compliance that made Severus so obedient? Here he was, exposing himself shamelessly to him, and completely aroused by it.<br /><br />Harry caressed the inside of his thigh, his heavy balls, the underside of his cock. He brought his right index finger to his mouth and sucked on it, his eyes never leaving Severus’s cock and ass, and then, without hesitation, slipped it in Severus’s anus, watching it disappear inside him, licking his lips, owning him. He looked up to Severus’s face and smiled. “You’re mine,” he said, “all mine,” and Severus could not have agreed more.<br /><br />And with no further ado, putting his shoulders under Severus’s upper thighs, Harry replaced his fingers with his tongue and Severus thought he was going to come right then and there. Instead, precum welled out of his cock, and he moaned helplessly, as Harry’s moist burning tongue rimmed him within an inch of insanity.<br /><br />He knew he was letting more sounds escape from his lips than he ever had before, and that soon he was actually begging shamelessly, but he could not be bothered to care. One of Harry’s hands came to his cock, the other played with his nipples and that tongue… Merlin’s balls, that tongue was doing incredibly, disgustingly, amazingly pleasurable things in his asshole and he helplessly came, screaming incoherently, just pumping cum in that knowing palm, almost sure he was dying and not caring <em>at all</em>. <br /><br />“Hmm… You taste as good as you smell…” said Harry, wiping his face on the duvet. Severus could only look at him in helpless wonder. He was completely at Harry’s mercy. He would have done anything, said anything to remain the focus of his attention, because he had never, never felt the kind of wild joyful abandon he felt at that moment.<br /><br />The most incredible thing was that the continued burning desire in Harry’s eyes proclaimed Severus needn’t do anything , that Harry felt he was the one granted the most exquisite of gifts. Harry started licking cum off of Severus’s belly while fingering his arse, stretching him, looking at him all the while, his eyes darkened by arousal. Taking the softened cock in his mouth, he bathed it in wetness and warmth, and soon, Severus could feel blood rushing that way again.<br /><br />Harry sat back on his haunches, Severus’s calves sliding to his shoulders. He smiled at Severus, a sexy, predatory smile. “I’m going to fuck you now. I’m going to push my cock up your arse.” Severus wanted it so badly, his body was trembling.<br /><br />He felt Harry’s hot, hard cock pushing against his hole but hardly noticed the burning stretch of penetration so enthralled was he by the look of wonder on Harry’s face. Harry was closing his eyes and breathing hard, hissing in pleasure, “Oh, fuck, oh fuck, t’so good! All tight and hot, and moist and… velvet silk.” He opened his eyes once he was fully sheathed. “Severus… Oh, god! You… I’m… I love you! So fucking much! And now… I’m inside! Inside you!” He whispered “You’re mine.” He moved back a little, and pushed forward as far as he could go. He was looking intently in Severus’s eyes when he repeated, <br />“Mine!” <br /><br />He was so beautiful, his taut body shivering, his face suffused with a warm glow. <br /><br />“Yes,” answered Severus, offering himself, his body, his heart in complete surrender. “Yours…”<br /><br />Harry threw back his head and groaned. The cock stretching Severus’s arse pulsed and he felt the warmth of Harry’s ejaculate deep inside him. “Oh, yeah…” Harry looked down at him again and smiled with satisfaction. “All mine…” Then he started to move. <br /><br />His cock never softened. He just fucked Severus as if he’d not just come, his motions sure, long and precise. His cock found Severus’s prostate and he smiled wickedly as Severus cried out in pleasure. It was so good!<br /><br />“Do you want it hard… or soft?... long… or short… slow… or fast??” Harry was in full control now, his motions eliciting waves of intense delight.<br /><br />“Yes!” cried Severus, just wanting the pleasure to go on and on.<br /><br />Harry laughed. His cock was sliding deliciously in and out of Severus, a cock with a large head that stretched Severus’s hole wide open and milked pleasure out of his prostate like no one had ever done before. Severus pushed back against that amazing cock, wanting more, wanting it faster and harder, and his wish was immediately fulfilled. All the while a slick hand massaged his cock and balls better than he could do himself. For what seemed like forever, he was suspended in a state of infinite bliss, with not a coherent thought in his mind, that is, until Harry bent down, licked his neck and ordered, “Come for me!”. <br /><br />Severus quickly obeyed, crying out and seeing stars as pulsing pleasure emptied his whole body out of his cock and mercifully everything went black, somehow allowing his completely blown brain to restart.<br /><br />When he came to, the room was almost dark. The only illumination was the warm orange glow of the fire’s ambers. He sighed as he realized he’d been awakened by a wave of intense pleasure and looked down to see his cock disappear fully into Harry’s mouth. That sight, and the amazing sensations created brought him to full consciousness. <br /><br />Oh, dear Merlin, Harry was making love to him and it wasn’t a dream. Harry had completely taken possession of his body, had… loved him into oblivion, and was again creating sensations Severus had not even known himself capable of feeling. The panting and the cries he had been hearing as he regained his senses came from him. Already, his balls were tightening to his body, his heart drumming and his toes curling.<br /><br />“Harry, oh!...”<br /><br />He tried in vain to hold back his orgasm, but his body would have none of it, loving the hot wet mouth, the playful tongue, the tight moist lips around his shaft. When Harry squeezed the head of Severus’s cock against his palate while swiping his tongue repeatedly just beneath the rim, he was carried over, and came and came and came.<br /><br />Harry crawled up his body until his head was on Severus’s shoulder. Severus looked at him and smiled. “I never want to leave this bed.”<br /><br />Harry chortled. “I wouldn’t mind fucking you in that chair over there, or in the shower, or outside under the stars…”<br /><br />Severus laughed as well. “Excellent point.”<br /><br />“Thank you.” Harry stomach growled. “And evidently, I will also have to get some sustenance to be able to give your body the attention it deserves.”<br /><br />“Another good point. Sadly, I believe it is rather late, and that you may have to wait until morning for that”<br /><br />Harry’s wand flew from somewhere on the floor to his extended hand, and he cast “Tempus”. It was ten after two. “Hm. It is later than I thought. I didn’t realize I had slept quite so long,” he commented. He raised his head from Severus’s chest and added, “I woke up a couple of times, and each time, I was so incredibly grateful that I was really waking up in your arms, that last night hadn’t been a dream. I wish I never had to wake up alone again.”<br /><br />Severus rolled to his side, so they faced one another. He brought his hand to Harry’s face and combed his fringe back with his fingers.<br /><br />“Once you no longer have to live in the dorms, there are ways for us to be discreet so that might make that possible. As my apprentice, you should have rooms large enough that they have a fully functional floo.”<br /><br />“I didn’t realize there were set rules restricting relationships between apprentices and their Masters. After all, even relationships between students and teachers are allowed, as long as the student is of age and they conduct themselves with a modicum of circumspection.”<br /><br />“You are right. There are no such rules. But Harry, certainly you are aware that the wizarding world strongly disapprove of homosexuality. Being single, would you choose to remain so, would already make it more difficult for you to achieve a position of authority and leadership. Being openly homosexual would result in you being severely ostracised, I’m afraid.”<br /><br />“<i>Would I choose to remain single?</i> Are you serious? Do you really think, feeling the way I feel about you, that I would consider even for an instant attaching myself to anyone else? What, are you intending on marrying, so you can gain society’s approval?”<br /><br />Severus snorted. “Oh, I believe it’s too late for me. I might be considered a war hero, but I doubt my rather… colourful past and my well known charming nature would bring many candidates were I to wish to do so. Besides, I do not have to worry about people questioning my sexuality. Being a mean tempered bastard is generally accepted as being reason enough for my being unmarried.” He caressed Harry’s lower lip with the pad of his index finger. “But you, Harry, have your future ahead of you. In the long term…”<br /><br />Harry got off the bed and started pacing. “Severus…” He frowned. “It is all right for me to call you Severus now, isn’t it?”<br /><br />“I believe my letting you bugger me rather allows it, yes.”<br /><br />“Good. Severus, then, I am in love with you. I refuse to pretend otherwise. I will not hide my sexuality to follow conventions. I am queer, and have no qualms about anyone knowing it. Hopefully, <i>’The man who vanquished Voldemort’</i> being openly gay will help change wizarding society’s attitude. And if not, they can kiss my arse. I will come out alone if I need to.” He stopped his pacing. “But I would much rather not hide our relationship. Are you telling me that you would want to be known as, I don’t know, my mentor? My close friend? But not my lover?”<br /><br />Severus had been admiring the warm glow of the embers on his young lover’s body, the feline grace of his walk, the delicious pendulum motion of his cock as he walked. Fuck, he wanted that cock in his arse again. He would never get enough of Harry. He smiled. “Come back to bed, Harry. Please.”<br /><br />Harry reluctantly lay next to him. Severus chuckled. “Do you know how happy you have just made me? I was ready to be philosophical about this, to resign myself to the inevitable. I did not even let myself think about it. You marrying a witch… Having to watch someone else sharing your life, even if superficially, having you attend public functions with Miss Weasley or whomever else on your arm…” He closed his eyes at the intense unhappiness that thought provoked. “I would have hated it, but I love you more, and would have accepted it. But Harry, I couldn’t not care less about public opinion. Were you to acknowledge our relationship publically, I would proudly stand at your side.” He caressed Harry’s face again, loving the joy he could see in his eyes. He added softly, “I am in love with you too.” It was so amazing to be able to say those words, to even think them. Harry loved him, loved him enough to be willing to accept public scorn on his behalf. It was truly amazing. <br /><br />He ran his hand along Harry’ shoulder and arm, and could feel his arousal intensifying. He paid it no attention. He had never spoken with Finch-Fletchley, had let sex (‘Chitty sex at that!’ Merlin! Was that still Draco’s voice?) be the sum total of their connection. He had been only too aware, if accepting, of the young man’s limitations. But Harry… Harry was so much more than just his lover ( ‘an extraordinary lover, a passionate, attentive, accomplished lover’ whispered Draco, and Severus felt a twinge of ridiculous jealousy that the owner of his inner voice would actually know this to be the case…). He wanted Harry to be his partner in everyway, he wanted them to talk, and share every aspect of their lives.<br /><br />“There are no written laws against same sex relationship. Only public denunciation, which to me matters not at all. I do not doubt the support of my friends, and I know you have the support of yours… They have provided cover for your participation in Tuesday dalliances all year, have they not? I however would not want Minerva to have to bear the outcry from parents were it to be known she allowed a ‘sexual deviant’ to teach at Hogwarts and I would remain discreet for her sake while I retain a teaching position. After that, we are both certainly wealthy enough not to have to care about public disapproval.” He grinned. <br /><br />“They can kiss both our arses.”<br /><br />Harry chuckled and said, tongue in cheek. “I’m afraid I am pretty possessive of your arse. No one is allowed to kiss it but me. And speaking of kissing it…”<br /><br />When they came out of the shower, it was nearing five o’clock in the morning. They crawled back in bed.<br /><br />“Are you sore?” asked Harry. They had fucked twice more. Once with Severus on his hands and knees, and once again face to face with his long legs around Harry’s middle, crossed at the ankles.<br /><br />“Pleasantly so. And absolutely willing again, if you are able, though for my full participation, we may have to wait a little while. Sadly, I am no longer nineteen.”<br /><br />Harry grinned. “You may have a longer refractory period, but I need more sleep. So it works out.”<br />Severus wrapped him in his arms, spooning him closely. Harry sighed. <br /><br />“I never want to sleep alone again,” he said.<br /><br />“You will only have to for a few more weeks.”<br /><br />“Not every night. The returning seventh year student’s dorms are not monitored. We have no curfew. It was Professor McGonagall’s only allowance to us.”<br /><br />Severus was quiet for a few minutes. “Hm… Though it makes me very happy, I do not want to think of how many times you took advantage of that laxity.”<br /><br />He could hear Harry’s smile in his voice as he answered. “You’re jealous. And I love it… I took advantage of that laxity many, many times. When the time came for me to make love to you, I didn’t want to be a bumbling fool. I wanted it to be so good, you would never want anyone else.”<br /><br />“You certainly succeeded at that. And I guess I do not care, as long as you now consider your basic training complete, and allow only myself as a tutor should you endeavour to further your education, though after last night’s demonstration of your talents, I do not think there is much more I could teach you.” <br /><br />He held Harry tighter for a moment, and added, in a soft tone, “You are the best lover I ever had. But I do not think it is your flawless technique that makes you so. I believe it is the love I feel in every one of your caress.”<br /><br />Harry kissed his arm in response and was quiet long enough Severus thought he was asleep. But then he said, very quietly, “Severus?”<br /><br />“Yes.”<br /><br />“I… There is something. Hm. There is something you could teach me if you wanted to. I… I’ve always… Well, I’ve never…”<br /><br />Severus wondered what Harry was trying to say, and then it dawned on him. “You have only topped? Never bottomed?” Severus’s heart drummed in his chest.<br /><br />“Right.”<br /><br />“Were you so adverse to it? How could you know you would not like it if you never tried?”<br /><br />“I think I have a bit of a dominant streak anyway, but, well, I wanted to keep something. For you. If we ever became lovers. Something that would be yours only. If you ever wanted it.”<br /><br />Severus backed away, so Harry would lay on his back and he could see him.<br /><br />“Did you save that for your first true lover, or did you save it…”<br /><br />“For you. I never considered anyone else. Well, except for last night, if you had not come. But I don’t know if I would have gone through with it. I think somehow, I might have kept hoping…”<br /><br />Severus was amazed at how very aroused the idea of being the first to initiate Harry to the pleasure of receiving instead of giving made him. He was suddenly so hard. “Oh, Harry. I… I do not often top, but, Merlin, I want to right now. Except for wanting you to take me, I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything quite so badly. Would it be…”<br /><br />Harry smiled at him, took Severus’s hand and placed it on his full erection. “Please, Severus. Please show me how good it feels when I take you… Please fuck me.”<br /><br />Severus took Harry’s lips with a passionate kiss. He was immensely glad that though he preferred the other way around, he knew himself to be quite skilled at this side of the act. Making love to Harry was nothing like fucking Finch-Fletchley. He found himself enthralled with the task, thrilled by every sigh, every moan he provoked while driving Harry to the peak of his arousal. With his lips and fingers, caressing his silken skin, playing with his nipples, he discovered all the secret places that made Harry arch his back and cry out. Opening him with his tongue, his fingers and finally, staring in his eyes as he slowly, slowly pushing himself inside him was the most erotic, the most emotional experience he’d ever had. Harry bit his lips at the invasion, and a sheen of sweat appeared on his skin. But when Severus retreated, and was lucky enough to hit his prostate on first try, Harry said, “Oh!” and then “Oh, yeah,” and then “Oh, fuck! Yeah! Harder! Oh, god, more more! Oh, it’s… ah! Amazing! Oh!...” He was letting out the sexiest sounds, and looking at Severus with suck lust and love. Harry wrapped his legs around him and moved his pelvis up to meet every one of Severus’s thrust. His nails were biting in Severus’s shoulders, and it felt so fucking good. Harry tilted his head back, and Severus attacked his neck, sucking at the soft skin at the junction of his neck and ear.<br /><br />He felt Harry tense, and shudder, a sudden warmth between their stomachs, and he let go, as Harry’s muscles pulsed around him, driving him over the edge. Resting on his elbows, he tried to catch his breath as his heart slowed down to a normal pace. He gently pulled out of Harry who let out a small whimper.<br /><br />“Did I hurt you?” he asked, concerned.<br /><br />“Oh, Merlin no! I just hate to see you go.” He chortled as Severus rolled off of him. “I had no idea… It was… Fingers are not the same. Not the same at all…” He met Severus’s eyes. “Do you think it’s as good when I do it to you as it was for me?”<br /><br />Severus smiled. “Quite sure, yes. So much so that, however exquisite fucking you was, I still prefer you fucking me.”<br /><br />“And as exquisite as being fucked by you was, I still prefer fucking you. But I definitely want to do this again, sometime.”<br /><br />“And we will, I’m sure.”<br /><br />Harry closed his eyes. “’m tired.”<br /><br />Relishing his well-fucked exhaustion, Severus smiled as Harry fell asleep wrapped within his tight protective embrace, tucked under his chin and nestled against his body. It was in such contrast to Harry the confident, masterful lover who had fucked him the night before. <br /><br />Severus chuckled. He reached under the pillow for his wand and cast some cleaning spells, then for good measure sent a Patronus to Minerva. “I apologise for disturbing you so early, Minerva, but I am… indisposed. Would you be so kind as to cancel the third year’s double potions this morning? I am quite sure I will be able to conduct my afternoon classes. Thank you.”<br /><br />He briefly thought of telling her Harry was equally indisposed, but reconsidered. It would not be the first time Potter skived a class. Perhaps he should give him detention? He fell asleep with a smile on his face and his nose in messy black hair.<br /><br /><br />The end.<br /><br /><br /><b>Author's Note:</b> Some of you might have spotted the cameo by Justin Taylor of Queer as Folk, as Hermione’s American cousin, and might have also have noticed Harry occasionally channelling both Brian Kinney, of the same show, and Stuart Alan Jones of its British version.<br /><br />Prompter, I hope you enjoyed this tale, which your wide opened prompt allowed me to write, and that you were not horrified by the over-abundance of smut. Perhaps I should have added Slut!Harry to the warnings…<br /><br /><a href="http://snarryglompfest.livejournal.com/14014.html">COMMENT BACK AT LIVE JOURNAL</a><br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarryglompfest&ditemid=1061" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentstag:dreamwidth.org,2013-03-03:1978740:976GLOMP FOR THE COMMUNITY2013-03-05T19:42:51Z2013-03-06T19:27:11Zpublic0<b>Title</b>: Lost and Found<br /><b>Author</b>: Anonymous<br /><b>Prompt Number</b>: <br /><b>Rating</b>: NC17<br /><b>Word Count</b>: 77.4k (This part 17k)<br /><b>Warnings</b>: Adult language, Anal, Bottom!Snape, EWE, Minimal switching, Non-Snarry pairings, Oral, Original characters, Powerful!Harry , Rimming, Slash, Solo, Spanking, Top!Harry, Voyeurism, Water play (not graphic), Hm… I think that’s it… <br /><b>Summary</b>: Ridding the world of the Dark Lord has been the focus of Harry Potter and Severus Snape’s worlds for the greater part of their lives. Their identities were based on the roles they were called to play, and the sacrifices they had to make, to insure a victory for the Light. After the dust settles, both are faced with the task of finding out who they are when no longer a spy and a predestined pawn, and with going on with their lives to a future neither of them ever expected to have. But even once they work out what they need and what they want for their future, they still have to figure out how to get it, a task with which some will help, and that some would hinder.<br /><b>Author's Note</b>: I would like to thank my betas, <span style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='https://fancypantsdylan.dreamwidth.org/profile'><img src='https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png' alt='[personal profile] ' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: text-bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='https://fancypantsdylan.dreamwidth.org/'><b>fancypantsdylan</b></a></span> and <span style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='https://www.dreamwidth.org/profile?user=drarryxlover'><img src='https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png' alt='[profile] ' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: text-bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='https://www.dreamwidth.org/profile?user=drarryxlover'><b>drarryxlover</b></a></span>. Any remaining errors are mine, since I can never leave well enough alone… I had a story that had been screaming to be told if I was given the appropriate motivation. It was a lot of fun to write, though I was a bit surprised by the staggering amount of smut the tale thought it required… It also contains some hard-to-miss references to another fandom my beta and I sometime visit, though they will go completely unnoticed by the uninitiated. (More at the end).<br /><br /><a href="http://snarryglompfest.dreamwidth.org/490.html">LOST AND FOUND: CHAPTER ONE</a><br /><a hret="http://snarryglompfest.dreamwidth.org/525.html">LOST AND FOUND: CHAPTER TWO</a><br /><br />CHAPTER THREE<br /><br />A few minutes ago, Severus had been about to ask Harry to wait, to give him until graduation, telling himself he needed time to think, time to resolve the conundrum his life had become, but knowing all along that what he needed was time to disengage from his lover, to let Justin down easy.<br /><br />He had not been allowed his dishonest prevarication. Justin’s entrance, in his naked, just fucked glory, had thrown things firmly back into focus.<br /><br />Another young man loved him, and had a claim on his life, was owed his heart, his tender care. Had it not been for Potter, Severus would have felt utterly blessed to have the beautiful young man in his life, in his bed.<br /><br />Not the best of lovers, no, but Severus would have accommodated himself of it and counted himself lucky. He would not, could not, in all fairness, throw away the man who had saved him from oblivion because someone more tempting came along. What kind of man would that make him?<br /><br />Yes, his long-time fantasy had suddenly, incredibly, become a reality. The boy who lived had looked beyond their petty conflicts, beyond Severus’s mistreatment of him and his constant insults and verbal abuse and had seen the man he really was, more astonishingly yet, had fallen in love with him. <br /><br />It didn’t change the fact that Justin had loved him enough, had wanted him enough to reach out at his lowest point and give him back his life.<br /><br />He looked at his young lover who seemed puzzled at his long silence.<br /><br />“Justin, next time you feel the need to interrupt my conversation with another student, could you please, at least, dress yourself first?” he asked, his tone as light as he could make it. “You know we are under obligation to keep our liaison discreet. I think you failed at that rather robustly, don’t you? <br />Therefore, I think it is my obligation to introduce you to a new form of foreplay. A spanking.”<br /><br />Justin’s eyes were as round as marbles. “No way. You’re joking.”<br /><br />Severus smirked evilly. “I’m going to love fucking your bright red, pretty little arse …”<br /><br />He cast Divesto on himself and took chase. Justin squealed and ran off. Ridiculous lyrics from a song from the Muggle summers of his youth popped in his mind. “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with…”<br /><br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_</center><br /><br />Harry left the dungeon and went outside, in the clear pleasant evening. He would not think. He would not feel. He walked to the lake and removed his clothing. He was a very poor swimmer, but he dove in, and controlled his usual panic, forcing his limbs into an even rhythm, controlling his breathing, heading to the deeper waters. He pushed his body hard, as hard as he could, and surprisingly, after a while, felt in harmony with the element, floating effortlessly, completely absorbed by the motions of the swim, by the swift forward progress. Nothing, in the dangerous lake, interfered.<br /><br />Feeling calmer, he turned around, and swam back towards the castle, breathing under his arm, as Hermione had shown him once, when it had seemed an impossible feat. He had been swimming for almost an hour and was quite close to the shore again when he realized he was no longer alone in the water. He looked up to find the smiling face of Angus McGraw.<br /><br />“I’m scared shitless of that squid, but you made it look so good, I had to get in,” he said, as he stopped swimming and stood, the water to his neck. Harry stood as well, then without a thought, reached for Angus and pulled him tight against his body. He looked into his eyes for a moment, giving his classmate time to object, and when Angus just smiled some more, he kissed him deeply, passionately.<br /><br />Harry ran his hands down the other man’s body, finding Angus as nude as himself. Harry grabbed him under the arse and lifted him up. Angus automatically wrapped his legs around Harry’s waist and Harry walked them out of the lake. In quick succession, silently, Harry cast a warming charm about them, a cushioning charm on an oak’s large trunk, a Rectum et Colonia, vacuo et tergeo on Angus, and a Lubricus et laxo on Angus’s anus.<br /><br />As soon as they reached the tree, he leaned Angus against it, and lifted him a bit more. Angus helped by reaching overhead for a branch and taking some of the weight off. Harry lowered him onto his cock, sliding slowly, deliciously, into his heat.<br /><br />“Oh! Fuck yeah…” commented Angus. <br /><br />Harry gave him a few seconds to adjust, kissing him again, deeply. Angus signalled his readiness by squeezing his sphincter, and Harry pulled almost all the way out, and pushed back in, finding his bearings. Then he started to fuck his friend against the tree as if their lives depended upon it, pulling Angus’s arse tight towards him to hit his prostate at each pass, Angus’s cock caught between their bodies. <br />He licked and sucked and kissed the boy’s neck, leaving a trail of love bites, and whispering, “Your arse is heaven, so good, so tight, so hot…” <br /><br />“Harry, fuck! Harry, oh god, hard , deep, love it, oh, love your cock, right there, yeah, oh god, gonna come, yeah , yeah, ahhhh!”<br /><br />Harry fucked him hard and deep through his orgasm, then stopped, buried as deep in Angus’s arse as he could go, and let go, his climax pulling a guttural wordless cry from his throat. He pulled out gently, casting cleaning spells as he went, and lowered Angus to the ground before kissing him again.<br /><br />“I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough of playing nature boy. How about for round two we go in and transfigure ourselves a bed?” he asked.<br /><br />“You had me at ‘round two’” replied Angus, chuckling, as he picked up his clothes and started dressing.<br /><br />Harry smirked. “Don’t bother, I’ll just take them off again.” He picked up his own bundle of clothes and carried it under his arm, holding his robes casually one handed over his shoulder and started crossing the long front lawn, bold as brass. Angus watched him walk away, completely unselfconscious in his nudity, shrugged, picked up his bundle of clothes and followed, though he did hold his in front of his bits, just in case.<br /><br />Harry walked straight into the first classroom on the ground floor, and had already transfigured the desk into a bed and his clothing into sheets, duvet and pillows by the time Angus joined him. Casting a broad warming charm in the room, Harry was very grateful suddenly for his remarkable magical power. He dropped on the very comfortable bed and looked at his friend. For some reason, he felt the need to love him as perfectly as he knew how.<br /><br />“Come here, Angus.”<br /><br />Angus shook his head in wonder, smiling, and joined Harry on the bed. Harry turned him face down and sat just below is arse. Then, right above his palm he whispered “Viridi Naris Olium calidum”. Immediately, his palm filled with warm tea tree scented oil. He drizzled it on Angus back, and started massaging his neck and shoulders, his motions sure and strong.<br /><br />“Mmmmm… Mmmmm, oh, that feels so nice! Mmmmmm, Aaahhhhh…”<br /><br />Harry smiled and silently cast “Sexualitas Revelio”.<br /><br />Large red stripe, as expected; yellow because Angus derived pleasure from his feet; dark blue because he enjoyed role play; narrow off-white because he liked a little spanking, broad orange because he really enjoyed being tied up, bright pink because he liked his back scratched, thin turquoise because he got off on gentle bites and grey, for a little dirty talk. This was going to be fun.<br /><br />Harry leaned over and whispered in his ear, “When I saw you up on that block at the slave market, I just had to buy you. You are such a pretty boy… You’re mine now, I bought you, I can do whatever I want to you. Are you afraid, slave boy?”<br /><br />Under the massaging hands, Angus shivered, and goose bumps appeared on his skin. Harry had cast Silencio, and he could not respond.<br /><br />“You looked so good, so hot, naked at that auction for all to see. Did you feel all the lustful eyes on your body? Did you like all those men watching you, wanting to buy you to put their fat cocks up your arse?”<br /><br />Harry bend down again, and bit him lightly along the junction of his neck and shoulders and at the back of his neck.<br /><br />“You are so beautiful, I could just eat you up. But I don’t trust you pretty slave boy, so I’ll have to restrain you.”<br /><br />Instantly, Angus was flipped over, his hands secured above his head and his legs spread out. Angus eyes were all pupils, watching Harry, biting his lower lip. Harry started massaging his legs, working his way to Angus’s feet. <br /><br />“Your feet must be so tired after standing on the auction block so long…” He massaged them, nibbled the arch, and sucked the toes. Angus’s cock was hard as a rock, leaking precum. <br /><br />“If I take off your gag,” Harry said, “I don’t want you to talk unless I tell you to, but you can make any noise you want, OK?”<br /><br />Angus nodded eagerly. Harry sucked one last toe, “Arrrrgh!” <br /><br />Harry worked his way back up, and said, ”Did I mention I wanted to eat you up?” and took Angus’s cock all the way in. He didn’t need a spell anymore to relax his throat, and still adored sucking cock. He brought Angus to the brink three times, but stopped again and again before he could come, getting some heartfelt cries of distress. <br /><br />“Are you complaining pretty slave boy? You are mine. I do what I want. And complaining deserves a punishment.”<br /><br />The invisible ties went up around Angus’s knees, and pulled them up and out, until they were touching his shoulders, leaving Angus’s pert arse fully exposed. Harry slid a bolster under Angus’s lower back so he could relax in the position, and said, “I think a little spanking is in order, don’t you?”<br /><br />And he thwacked Angus’s arse fairly hard, getting a cry of pleasured pain out of him. He kept spanking, careful never to hit the same place twice, enjoying the noises Angus made. He nibbled at the red cheeks, cast the cleaning spell again and then licked from his balls down and started making love to his hole. <br />“Talk to me Angus, do you like my tongue in your arse?”<br /><br />“Oh, fuck yeah! Oh, Harry, it’s so good, oh god, yes, please don’t stop, oh fuck! So good! Oooh! Hot… good…Aaaargh! Ah, aahhh, ‘ood…”<br /><br />Harry had him right where he wanted him. He cast Lubricus and worked his fingers in Angus’s arse. “I’m going to push my cock into your heat, and pound you into the mattress, and I’m not going to stop until you come screaming, pretty little slave. I own you. I’m going to prove it to you…”<br /><br />Harry got into position and guided himself into Angus arse, going deep relentlessly. He started fucking Angus, the man’s knees on his own shoulders, fast, hard, deep. It took only a dozen thrusts before Angus’s orgasm shot out of his cock while he cried out in relief and absolute pleasure, spraying his chin, his neck and his chest with generous amounts of cum. Harry undid the invisible restraints, and kept diving into Angus’s arse, seeking his own release, loving the utterly debauched and completely undone look on Angus’s face. He came hard and long, deep into Angus’s accepting body, and let the man’s legs slide down.<br /><br />Angus’s eyes were already closing as Harry cast “Finite Incantatem” on his hair, cleaned the both of them thoroughly, and pulled the sheets and duvet over their spooning bodies.<br /><br />He woke up in the night, still spooning, slid inside Angus, making slow gentle love to him, milking his cock with a knowledgeable hand until they came, at the same time, Angus almost purring. They fell back asleep with Harry still inside Angus.<br /><br />When he woke up again, it was daytime and in the pink morning light, Angus’s head was bobbing up and down as he gave Harry a very nice blowjob. From the minty taste in Harry’s mouth and the enthusiasm with which Angus sucked a cock that had spend the night in his arse, Harry concluded that Angus was no slouch at cleaning spells either. Soon he was too blissed out to care, and when Angus sucked the cum right out of him and hungrily swallowed it, he decided he might survive the day after all.<br /><br />Angus rejoined him on the pillows and smiled. “I just love sucking cock, you know?”<br /><br />Harry smiled. “I know…”<br /><br />Angus looked at Harry and said earnestly, “Harry, last night was… God. There are no words. The tree, the ropes, the quiet fuck… It was the best night of my life.”<br /><br />“I enjoyed you too. Very much,” said Harry, smiling.<br /><br />Angus blushed. “I’ve had a crush on you for a while… Now I think that I might be fall…”<br /><br />“Shhhh,” said Harry, his fingers on Angus’s lips. “It’s just your cock talking.” He thought back to Hermione’s cousin’s attitude towards sex and to the heart wrenching pain he had felt because of love and added, “Angus, I don’t believe in love. I believe in fucking. It’s honest, it’s efficient, and you get in and out with a maximum of pleasure, and a minimum of bullshit. Last night was great. Let’s keep it at that.”<br /><br />Angus lowered his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath and looked up again, smiling a smile that managed to reach his eyes. “All right. Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m starving,” he said lightly. “I think breakfast is starting soon, and I’d love to grab a shower first.”<br /><br />“Yes, it’s definitely time to get up.” There was a double sink in the corner of the room. An old potion classroom perhaps? Harry transfigured it into a large shower. “I’m too lazy to go back up Gryffindor tower. I’m going to shower here.” He rolled off the bed and looked over his shoulder with a smile. <br />“Wanna join me?”<br /><br />They soaped each other and goofed around under the warm spray, kissing and hugging. Harry pressed his hard cock on Angus’s hip.<br /><br />“Are you up for one more?”<br /><br />Angus smiled, and Harry turned him to face the wall. With only Lubricus, he slipped up his still welcoming arse. He fucked him hard, fast and deep, loving being queer, and came, his orgasm sneaking up on him. <br />Despite the sensitivity of his cock post climax, he was determined to bring Angus off and kept going.<br /><br />“Oh, god! I can feel your hot spunk inside me,” moaned Angus. “Perfect, it’s perfect…” and he sprayed his seed all over the wall.<br /><br />Harry hugged him from behind, kissing his neck and behind his ear. He pulled out gently. He washed himself again, as did Angus, then both used spells to dry off. Smiling at each other, they came out and Harry spelled the bedding back into his clothes and got dressed.<br /><br />“I think I’ll leave the bed and the shower for someone else to enjoy. Nobody ever comes in here anyway.”<br /><br />“And it’s such a nice shower!” said Angus, grinning.<br /><br />“Thank you.”<br /><br />“Do you think you’re as powerful as Dumbledore was?” he asked. “You can do amazing things.”<br /><br />“No way. Plus he knew so much more about magic than I do. Please don’t tell people I’m any stronger than I usually let on. I don’t want anyone to worry about me becoming the next Voldemort, OK?”<br /><br />They left the classroom and headed to the great hall for breakfast. “What do you want to do after your NEWTS if you’re not interested in world domination?”<br /><br />Harry ignored the sudden pain in his chest at the thought of what he had hoped for the future, and pushed away the memories that it heralded. “Well, I’ve applied for a DADA Mastery, but I might just leave magic behind and live as a Muggle.”<br /><br />“You have got to be joking! What skills do you have to make it in the Muggle world?”<br /><br />“I can always become a hustler,” joked Harry.<br /><br />“That you could.” Angus chortled. “I think your skills in that regard transcend the magical barrier.”<br /><br />“It takes two to tango, Angus,” said Harry, smiling at him.<br /><br />Angus smiled warmly back and went to sit with the Ravenclaws. It must have been really early still, as the Hall was still almost empty. Hermione was alone in the older years half of the table. Harry plopped down next to her and kissed her cheek. He got out his wand, brought forward the memory of the previous evening at Snape’s, and pulled it out. <br /><br />“I’m not sure if this will work, and it might feel weird,” he warned, and he pushed the memory into Hermione’s temple.<br /><br />She grimaced. “Blech! Time overlap! Weird? Oh, god, It’s awful! So disorienting! Ok…Ok.”<br /><br />She closed her eyes and concentrated for a moment, sighed in apparent relief, then opened them again and seemed deep in a daydream for a while. About ten minutes later, she turned to Harry, her eyes full of tears.<br /><br />“You can take it back. I’m done.”<br /><br />He pulled the silvery strand back out of her temple and brought it back to his. The pain, which had been dulled when he had removed it, came back, as sharp as a knife.<br /><br />“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you got back,” she whispered, leaning her forehead on his shoulder.<br /><br />“It’s all right. I managed. I don’t ever want to talk about him again, though, OK?”<br /><br />She smiled wistfully. “I know <i> exactly</i> how you feel.”<br /><br />“Sorry, I…”<br /><br />“It’s all right, Harry. Hey. It’s a nice day. I need a dress for the graduation ball. Let’s go shopping in Muggle London, what do you say?”<br /><br />“I say, fuck the NEWTS! Let’s shop!” He got up.<br /><br />Hermione caught his arm.<br /><br />“What?” he asked.<br /><br />“Do you know why I love you so much?”<br /><br />“Because you know that I mean it when I say I’d die for you?”<br /><br />She rolled her eyes. “No. Because of what you felt when you realized who it was. You hurt for Blaise. At a time like that, only you would think of someone else’s feelings.”<br /><br />“You would have too. Blaise really loves him.”<br /><br />She smiled at him, shaking her head. “I was you, I lived it. I didn’t think of him. You are a good man, Harry Potter.”<br /><br />He pulled a face. “Well, you know what they say. Nice guys finish last.”<br /><br />“Bullshit. So, short and black or long and red?”<br /><br />“Uh?”<br /><br />“My dress, Harry!”<br /><br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_</center><br /><br />Severus had actually dreaded the next class with Potter. He had dreaded the pain of knowing what could have been, of his dearest desire thwarted. He had expected Potter’s loving gaze to kill him slowly, his wistful smiles to tear him apart.<br /><br />What he had not expected was Potter’s perfect indifference. It was as if nothing had happened. The young man was respectful, polite, quick to respond to correction, perfectly focused on his work. Paired once again with Draco Malfoy, he fought hard, efficiently, and laughed and joked, enjoying himself.<br /><br />Not once did he pay any special attention to his professor. Not once did he seem less than utterly mindless to the older man’s presence. Severus felt thwarted, and ridiculously insulted and outraged.<br />On top of which, Miss Granger tripped, apparently on her own feet, and accidentally sent an incredibly strong, unbelievably painful stinging hex right at his cock and balls. Bent in half, eyes streaming with tears, Severus thought he would never catch his breath.<br /><br />Her “Oops, sorry Professor!” seemed a woefully inadequate apology given the circumstances. Severus managed to straighten out and drag himself to his chair, and stayed put for the rest of the lesson, trying not to grimace in pain. He moved very gingerly for the rest of the day, and for the first time since the beginning of their affair, sent Justin away when he came that night, blaming a migraine.<br /><br />Justin looked satisfyingly concerned and disappointed, yet, sitting down with a medicinal Single Malt shot in his hand and an ice pack on his balls, Severus still felt disgruntled and upset. By the second shot, he was hurt and empty. By the third, he was overcome by a wave of terrible sadness, filed with a sense of loss and wept uncontrollably, his heart rendered by overwhelming grief.<br /><br />He had lost Harry. He had lost Harry. His love for the man burned in every cell in his body, and the bleakness and hopelessness of a future without even the most casual contact with him was unbearable. He wailed in utter despair compared to which the depression, which had slowly overtaken him earlier that year, was nothing. Then, he had not found a purpose to continue living. Now, he could think of no reason not to die. <br /><br />He never really found out why Flitwick floo-called him, nor even heard him come through after he had seen Severus’s despair.<br /><br />Severus just remembered a very warm hand petting his hair, a small but strong shoulder he cried on for a long time, and a bottle eventually pressed to his lips. Then he found the absolute oblivion of dreamless sleep.<br /><br />He regained consciousness in his bed, dressed in his under things, wrapped in misery and anguish, his small friend by his side looking like a child in the his large reading chair. Then he was hit with the strongest cheering charm ever cast, and chuckled as Filius temporarily disappeared as he got off the chair, before he climbed on the bed and sat next to him.<br /><br />“I have no idea what has caused you such grief, my friend” said the little man, “but I almost lost you once this year, and do not intend this time to sit idly by and let it happen again. So. You leave me no choice, Severus. You may hate me for a while, but you will live to fight another day.”<br /><br />Once again, a cheering charm sent his heart soaring even as he realized he could neither move nor speak. “I made a list,” said Filius. “See? Look. One hundred reasons for Severus Snape to be happy to be alive.”<br /><br />He turned a long parchment towards him, and indeed, at the top, in beautiful penmanship, the title, as stated, was written. Filius smiled happily. “It didn’t even take me all night. Almost, but not quite.” And he started reading, looking up at Severus between each entry.<br /><br />1. A perfect batch of Pepper Up potion.<br />2. A well deserved Order of Merlin, First class.<br />3. Our world, free of Voldemort.<br />4. Beating Septima Vector at chess <i>every time.</i><br />5. The lilacs on the south lawn, blooming.<br />6. Being the most popular teacher at Hogwarts.<br />7. Surviving the war<br />8. Eating fresh fallen snow of the Astronomy tower’s parapet. You thought no one ever saw you do it, didn’t you!<br />9. Minerva McGonagall crying for joy and relief upon being told you’d been found alive.<br />10. Being the only man of whom the unicorns in the forest are unafraid.<br />11. Looking magnificent and imposing even in simple teaching robes.<br />12. Being one of only seven Potions Masters in the world able to brew Wolfsbane<br />13. Shortbread with tea.<br />14. Being able to do the Sunday Evening Prophet’s crossword puzzle in ink.<br />15. Chocolate mousse with bits of candied orange peel.<br />16. Tea with Hagrid…<br /><br />Calmly, Filius read, casting cheering charms when he deemed it necessary, reminding Severus of the good things in his life. <br /><br />…99. A really good wank in the shower. “Well, that’s one of mine,” the small man added sheepishly, “but I’m pretty sure it’s universal…”<br /><br />100. “And finally, Filius Flitwick considering you the son he never had.” <br /><br />He looked up and smiled. “I really do, you know? I’ve known you since you were eleven, a scrawny, diffident, oh! so powerful child, with an inquiring mind, a fierce intelligence, a will of iron and an awful temper. His unfair treatment of you caused a rift between Albus and I that took years to heal. I went through the whole of last year feeling as if my heart had been ripped out of my chest, and found more joy in finally understanding your actions than from Voldemort’s demise.”<br /><br />He looked at Severus with so much kindness, the Potions Master felt his embarrassment at the previous night’s display fade away. As Filius had twice before, he petted Severus’s hand with his own pudgy warm one.<br /><br />“Whatever it is, Severus. Take courage. It too shall pass.”<br /><br />Severus felt he was free of Silencio and of whatever binding spell had kept him still. Filius Flitwick smiled at him. <br /><br />“Neither of us has to teach this morning, Severus. I send Shig to Minerva with the message that you were under the weather, and as we speak, I am supposedly in Cornwall checking the damage done to my house by a lightning strike. You are a very private man, I know that, and perfectly able to care for yourself regardless of the situation. I on the other hand, am a ridiculously overemotional creature, easily making a mountain out of a molehill, often upset over nothing.<br /><br />“I have worked myself into a tizzy over last night, dramatizing the whole thing as I tend to do. You would do me an enormous favour allowing me to chat with you, and permit your logical conversation and your soothing presence to control my ludicrous imagination and calm my nonsensical apprehension.<br /><br />“I thought it would help me to go over my silly list with you, and hear your opinion of the different items. I’d love to find out how little or how well I do know you…”<br /><br />Severus was touched by his friend’s effort to get him to talk without embarrassment, blaming himself for the need of conversation. It had been a while since the last cheering charm, and yet, he had to admit the pall of despair that had enveloped him had somewhat lifted. He was glad not to have to face the world yet, and yet thankful for the Charms Professor’s company. It would keep him from dwelling on what could never be. <br /><br />“I’d like to wash and dress, first, Filius, and I missed dinner last night. Perhaps we can take breakfast in my sitting room and converse there?”<br /><br />“Grand idea. I’ll be there.”<br /><br />It was obvious when Severus rejoined him, showered, shaved, and in clean clothing, that Filius had gone back to his quarters and done the same. Shig had brought all of Severus’s favourite foods, and was looking at him worriedly. <br /><br />“I’m all right, Shig. The sheets could use changing, and I wouldn’t mind some lilacs in here. The trees are blooming on the south lawn.”<br /><br />The little elf smiled, happy to be given something to do to please her master, whose actions of late left her quite puzzled. Why the man would put up with that two faced boy and send Kreacher’s gentle master away made no sense whatever to her.<br /><br />The two men ate, and chatted, and even laughed at times. Once or twice Filius hit Severus with a cheering charm, until Severus retaliated with same, saying, “Quit that!”<br /><br />Filius chuckled. “Yes, like that’s the worst thing in the world!”<br /><br />“That new Potions Master sure could use one. What a stick in the mud!” said Severus.<br /><br />“I heard a student say that he almost wished they had you back, because at least you kept them awake. Theory, theory, almost no practice. He could sure use a cheering charm!”<br /><br />“Or the boot! We have a reputation to maintain. We can get Slughorn back. At least he’s good for a laugh or two, and he understands that Potions is first and foremost about brewing.”<br /><br />“We should find someone new for next year. You could head the committee. Talk to Minerva. Poor thing. She already has to find a new Transfiguration teacher. She cannot keep doing two jobs.”<br /><br />“Three, if you count Head of Gryffindor.”<br /><br />Suddenly, Severus felt guilty. Minerva would also have to find a new DADA teacher. May be he should delay his retirement by one year, though Justin would be disappointed. He wondered what Justin had meant to do after graduation before they decided to travel. He’d have to explain to him that the postponement of their plans was unavoidable. It really would not be fair to Minerva to leave her with so much to deal with.<br /><br />By the time Filius left, at the end of morning, Severus had recovered some sense of self, though he felt the sadness in his heart would probably never leave him. He was enormously grateful to his small friend, and was glad not to have to face leaving him, Septima, Hagrid and Minerva for another year. <br /><br />Before lunch, and knowing Minerva did not have a class at this time, he made his way to her office. He explained he’d heard there were some concern about the direction the Potions curriculum was heading, and offered to spear the search for a teacher more suited to Hogwarts hands-on philosophy. She agreed many had expressed dissatisfaction with the new Potions Professor and though she knew some changes needed to be made, she had dreaded the process. She was thrilled to have Severus’s help and support in the matter. <br />They parted, both pleased with the resolution, Severus’s mind already considering what the best process for selection would be.<br /><br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_</center><br /><br />“Potter! Harry, wait up!”<br /><br />Harry stopped on his way to join Hermione in the library. Malfoy caught up with him, his heavy book bag indicating a similar destination.<br /><br />“Hey, Draco.” He gestured to their bags. “Almost wish the damn NEWTS were next week, already, before we’re all permanently crippled.”<br /><br />They walked side by side. “I know. I’m so tired of reviewing! Thank heavens for Quidditch.”<br /><br />They spoke a little of the coming Gryffindor/Slytherin match. Harry was seeker again, but Draco had not rejoined his team. He was quite open about the fact that though he still hoped for a Slytherin victory, he was pretty sure Gryffindor would wipe the floor with them.<br /><br />“Unless you, the Weaslette, and Thomas fall off your brooms early on in some freak accident, we don’t have an ice cube’s chance in a goblin’s pants.”<br /><br />“That is such a weird saying,” commented Harry who thought so every time he heard it.<br /><br />“Why? Have you ever touched a goblin? They run hot, forty-five degrees to our thirty- seven. Shake Flitwick’s hand sometime, you’ll see.”<br /><br />“Flitwick is not a goblin!” said Harry, comparing in his mind the very human looking Charm’s teacher to the dark and definitely alien creatures at the bank.<br /><br />“Great grandmother, paternal side. Pure blood before that, for at least fourteen generation. The Flitwick name will never recover…”<br /><br />“Draco! I thought you didn’t think like that any more!”<br /><br />“Oh, I don’t! I’d marry his daughter if he had one and she was cute. And blond. They’re richer than god, the Flitwicks.” Draco wiggled his eyebrows.<br /><br />“You mean richer than the Malfoys,” translated Harry, grinning.<br /><br />Draco rolled his eyes. “Harry, nobody is richer than the Malfoys. But they come close. Plus think about it: She’d keep you nice and warm in those cold winter nights…”<br /><br />Harry cracked up. “In Wiltshire?”<br /><br />“Hey! We have a chalet in Zermatt!” answered Draco, grinning.<br /><br />“Besides, Draco, I thought you were gay,” said Harry, curious about what his ex-nemesis’s answer would be.”<br /><br />“Rumours of my homosexuality are greatly exaggerated. I am an equal opportunity lover. Girls, boys, I’ll do them all. You’re thinking of my dad, who wouldn’t touch a woman even with a ten foot pole.”<br /><br />“Yes. And that sentence makes so much sense, coming from his <i>biological son</i>.”<br /><br />“No, really. To have me, he jerked off in a cup, then banished the lot to my mum’s womb.”<br /><br />“Are you serious?”<br /><br />“As death and taxes. Edward Vane, Romilda’s father? The love of his life. Together thirty-one years and counting, and Eddie on Dumbledore’s side and everything. On the other hand, my mum likes to fuck the help.”<br /><br />“House elves?” asked Harry, horrified.<br /><br />“Ew! No, you git! Not at the Manor! The help at out French chateau. Ze pool boy, ze boy zat kips ze ‘orses, ze gardener, and sometimes ze parlor maid and ze scullery girl. I take after her, you see…”<br />Harry laughed and shook his head. “Oh, la la!”<br /><br />“Right. Anyway. Hey, I wanted to ask you something,” said Draco, more soberly. “Let’s go in here for a minute, OK?” he asked, pointing to the Charm classroom.<br /><br />“Sure,” said Harry, curious.<br /><br />Draco leaned against the teacher’s desk, and Harry sat on the student one in front of him. “What’s up, Malfoy?”<br /><br />“OK. This is none of my business, I know, but the other day, at breakfast, I thought I saw you… Now, don’t get mad, OK? I mean, no insult intended or anything, but you’re Muggle raised, she’s Muggleborn, you could do something like that and not know, right?”<br /><br />“Draco, enough with the caveats. Spit it out!”<br /><br />“I thought I saw you… take a memory out of your temple and push it into her head. Crazy, right?” Draco looked at him hopefully.<br /><br />“Uh… No. Not crazy. I did.”<br /><br />“Oh, fuck.” Draco threw down his heavy bag. “I thought you did. Well I knew you did, really, but I was hoping… You know, I was hoping I was wrong. Fuck.” He got up and started pacing, messing up his perfect hair with his hands in his distress. “I hate this fucking school! Taking in fucking Muggles and telling them nothing, NOTHING! All of you, fucking dangers to yourselves and others! Fucking Dumbledore and his fucking Muggle studies! Toasters! Microwaves! Who gives a shit! But Wizard studies, to teach the Muggles not to enslave each other? Oh, no! That we don’t need! What a prick!”<br /><br />“What? What Draco? What did I do to Hermione?”<br /><br />Draco sat again across him, his hands on Harry’s shoulder, looking at him intensely.<br /><br />“Was it the first time Harry? Please tell me it was the first time you did it.”<br /><br />Harry nodded yes.<br /><br />“What did you show her, Harry?”<br /><br />“Something that happened the night before. Something I knew she wanted to know about and didn’t want to discuss. You know how she is. You tell her something, she asks you a million questions. I just didn’t want to go through it again and again. I thought if she saw it for herself, like you see things in a Pensieve, she would know everything, and that would be that.”<br /><br />“So it was something… important.”<br /><br />“To me, yeah. Really important.”<br /><br />“Emotional?”<br /><br />“Uh… Yeah. Very. As emotional as you can get, actually.” <br /><br />Draco’s hand fell to his side, and he looked so upset, Harry started panicking. “Talk to me, Draco!”<br /><br />Draco sighed. “It’s addictive. Really addictive. For the person receiving the thought. The more important, the more emotionally charged, the more addictive. A long time ago, wizards used to use it to enslave their captured enemies. They would force their intense, emotional memories into the other wizard’s head, make them live them, and take them back. One a day, for a few days, of the other wizard living their emotional highs and lows, without consequences to them, without their real life being affected, and they started wanting it, needing it, craving it. <br /><br />“The receiving wizard’s own emotions were not enough, their lives pale compared to the memories of the donor wizard, especially if that other wizard had a strong personality. And only that wizard’s thoughts would do, no other: they were like, imprinted. They would do anything not to be cut off. They enslaved themselves, their family, their magic to get what they needed. Cut off from the donor, they slowly lost their will to live, and usually killed themselves after a few weeks.<br /><br />“It’s forbidden Harry. Doing that to another wizard or another witch is considered worse than rape, worse than Imperio, worse than just about anything. If you were a pureblood, and I accused you falsely of doing it in front of witnesses, it would be considered ground for you to use Avada Kedavra on me with impunity.”<br /><br />“Oh, god! Oh, Merlin! Hermione! Is she going to be OK?”<br /><br />Draco shrugged. “I think so. It was just once. You’re not her enemy, she’s emotionally involved with you, you guys share your highs and lows already. It probably affected her, because she cared. It wasn’t without consequences. Just don’t do it again. Ever. Even if she asks, especially if she asks…” <br /><br />Suddenly, he cracked up. “Oh, shit! Did it have to do with Snape? Is that why she nailed him in the balls? Oh my god! It did, didn’t it?”<br /><br />“Yeah.”<br /><br />“And I thought you two had buried the hatchet… It’s good Harry! Don’t you see? It totally shows that witnessing first hand what happens to you did not come for free. She didn’t just coast on your emotions, which is the addictive part. They affected her, her behaviour, because she loves you. She nailed the poor bastard for you. Yeah…” He smiled confidently. “She’ll be all right.” <br /><br />What Draco said made a lot of sense, and Harry was obviously never doing it again. He felt pretty shaken by the experience, and took a deep breath of relief, thinking about what could have been if they’d made a habit of it.<br /><br />Draco smiled at him. “Yeah,” he said, knowing where Harry’s thoughts had gone. “You’re going to have to tell her not to tell anyone, though, explain to her what you did. You would go to Azkaban, you know. And that, my friend, would suck.”<br /><br />Harry smiled back. “Oh! Draco! You care about me!” he said, needing to lighten the mood.<br /><br />“Not in the least,” Draco shot back, against all evidence to the contrary. “I’ve just heard you’re a fantastic fuck, and I wouldn’t want them to take you away before I have a chance to find out for myself,” he added. <br /><br />His words were flippant, but the expression on his face seemed to tell another story. Could Draco really want them to fuck? Nah…<br /><br />“Would never work, Malfoy,” Harry joked back. “You’re a top, I’m a top. No go.”<br /><br />His grey eyes never leaving Harry, Draco moved closer to him, took Harry’s hand and put it on a very life affirming erection. “That’s me, thinking of bottoming for you.”<br /><br />Draco had taken a risk talking to him about his careless thought-sharing, the risk of insulting his most precious ally, to prevent what could have become a tragedy. Harry felt a sudden wave of affection for the blond, immediately transmuted into lust as the last half hour of tension rushed right to his cock. Draco <i>was</i> really hot. Harry took off his t-shirt and dropped it on the desk, throwing down the gauntlet.<br /><br />Draco smiled, got out of his robes, loosened his tie, passed it over his head, and took off his dress shirt, laughing as Harry tickled his ribs. Harry loved his scent: Sweet lemon, clean laundry and roasted almond or something. Good enough to eat. He kissed Draco voraciously, encountering the fresh minty taste of toothpaste and a playful tongue.<br /><br />Fuck. It was good. He nipped Draco’s lip, nibbled his slightly scratchy jaw, kissed bellow his ear and down the muscle to his shoulder, licked his way to the cutest little pink nipple, and played with it as he undid the buttons of Draco’s traditional wizard trousers. He switched nipples as he caressed Draco’s now naked body while the blond toed off his shoes and socks.<br /><br />Harry leaned Draco back over the desk, now covered by a cushioning charm, and admired his naked body as he undid his own fly. Gorgeous, really. Smooth luminous skin over long, well defined muscles, perfect in symmetry, golden trail of fuzz bisecting abs as good as his own, finishing in a nest of tight golden curls from which a lovely strong cock, its glands fully unsheathed already, rose proudly. Harry’s preference had run to dark haired men, but Draco might just convert him.<br /><br />Draco was breathing fast as his eyes roamed hungrily along Harry’s body. When they met Harry’s, they were dark, wanting.<br /><br />“Put your feet on the desk, Draco.”<br /><br />He did, holding his ankles, knees far apart, biting his lower lip, fully exposed. Small round balls in a hairless sack, enticing pink entrance, beautiful feet.<br /><br />“I’ve never seen anyone as beautiful as you,” said Harry, honestly, caressing the inside of the pale thigh. <br /><br />Incredibly, Draco seemed relieved, as if he had feared that Harry would find him unappealing. Harry smiled at him. “I want to fuck you so badly right now. Who would have thought?”<br /><br />He moved between Draco’s feet, slid his hands below his arse and lifted him up until Draco’s long thighs were on his shoulders. Harry nuzzled the blond’s balls. Draco smelled so fucking good! Spreading the firm smooth cheeks he was holding, he licked up the crease to the pretty pink star, which puckered tightly at his approach, confirming what he suspected, that Draco did not bottom often.<br /><br />He enjoyed spending the next while using his mouth and tongue to coax the skittish outer sphincter to relax, to accept the sweet invasion, to let him in to please its owner. Draco was making the most arousing sounds as Harry tongue-fucked him, his inner sphincter much more welcoming. Sweet roasted almonds. Draco was delicious. <br /><br />“Harry, god, don’t stop, please, don’t stop!”<br /><br />Draco’s pelvic muscle pulsed as he climaxed, enchanting Harry, who had never had anyone come from his rimming alone. He lowered Draco back to the desk and took the still quivering cock in his mouth, sucking out the last drops of surprisingly fruity cum, which felt very good if Draco’s reaction was to be believed.<br /><br />Holding Draco’s cock gently in his mouth and after casting Lubricus, he prepared him further, knowing the tongue fucking was nowhere near enough, loving the squelching sounds of his fingers coming in and out of the tight sheath and the shivers quaking Draco’s body when Harry lightly drummed on his prostate.<br /><br />Having held back as long as he could, his own cock throbbing with every one of his heartbeats, he released Draco’s hardening cock, removed his fingers from the perfect arse, secured Draco’s calves on his shoulders, and looking into the grey eyes, pushed in, popping the swollen head of his cock through the sphincters. Draco hissed, cringing, and Harry waited for his features to relax before moving forward, slowly but relentlessly. Draco bit his lip and scrunched his eyes. <br /><br />Fully in, Harry stopped moving and watched as, once again, Draco’s expression relaxed. Gently, slowly, he moved in and out, in and out until Draco opened his eyes again and smiled. Then Harry changed his angle ever so slightly, the head of his cock pressing along the prostate on the way in and again on the way out and smiled too as Draco said, ”Oh? Ooohhhh… Oh, yeah… Oh god! Yeah…” <br /><br />Then Harry started fucking him in earnest. Draco was a wonderfully responsive and vocal partner, and Harry was loving, just loving fucking him. Pleasure had brought a beautiful glow to Draco’s skin, and with lightly pinked cheeks, his face was more stunning than ever. It was good, so, so good, in and out, again and again, Draco’s beautiful face, his arousing moans, his iris a silver ring around the blown pupil, the expression on his face…incandescent. <br /><br />“Harry, T’feels so good, so good! Fuck…Fuck yeah! Don’t stop! Don’t stop! I’m gonna co…Arghhhh!” <br /><br />Draco’s cock sent his cum all over his chest and belly, his eyes seeming to roll back into his head. He closed them on his pleasure, looking like a fucking angel.<br /><br />Harry shivered. A spell had just been cast behind him. He knew this magic, this presence. <br /><br />Snape.<br /><br />Snape was coming up the aisle, watching him fuck Draco Malfoy. Gorgeous Draco, and one of the most pleasurable fucks he’d ever had. Well. Harry hoped Snape enjoyed the view. He pushed him out of his mind, and concentrated on pleasuring his lover.<br /><br />“Fuckmefuckmefuckme, so good so fucking goood…”<br /><br />Harry maintained a punishing rhythm, his whole body singing in pleasure, completely focused on fucking Malfoy senseless.<br /><br />His hand left Draco’s hip, and collected semen from his belly before grasping his cock and milking it in time with the pounding he was giving his arse. Draco’s mouth opened on a silent scream.<br /><br />Harry was impossibly close, he just wanted Draco to come once again, to see that look of utter bliss on the gorgeous face. “Come for me, Draco…” He whispered wishfully and felt fierce joy when Draco climaxed again. He buried himself deep in Draco’s arse, and shuddered again and again with his own mind-blowing release. He leaned forward, letting Draco’s legs slide down along his arms, and took his mouth in a passionate kiss, incredibly grateful. He put an arm under Draco’s shoulders, cupped the blond head in his hand and he sat him up, kissing him still, wanting him closer, mindless of the cum on the other boy’s chest.<br /><br />After breaking the kiss, Malfoy rested his forehead on the Harry’s shoulder.<br /><br />“Oh, sweet, sweet Merlin… That was…That was…” he chuckled, burying his face in Harry’s neck and holding on to him for dear life. The words, or lack thereof made Harry’s heart soar, but then he remembered Snape. <br /><br />No way was he sharing this intimate moment with that fucking voyeur. <br /><br />He backed away, disengaging himself from the hug, and slipping out of Draco’s body at the same time, hating how cold it felt. He bent down to pull up the jeans that had been around his ankles, and grabbed his T-shirt from the desktop. He gently pushed away Draco’s hand as it reached for his chest, feeling gutted to have that moment stolen from him.<br /><br />“It was a fuck, Malfoy. Just a fuck,” he said, hating himself, but refusing to let Draco expose himself to his spying Head of House. <br /><br />Draco looked stricken for a moment, then a mask of studied aloofness fell across his features, as he let out a fragile chuckle.<br /><br />“Yeah, “ he agreed. “Just a fuck. But a good one.” <br /><br />Harry shrugged. He slipped on his T-shirt and his face a cold mask of indifference, he turned toward Snape, effortlessly seeing through the charm. His eyes met Snape’s and just in case there was any doubt in the Professor’s mind that he’d been seen, he nodded to him before picking up his bag, turning and walking away.<br /><br />“See you, Malfoy.”<br /><br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_</center><br /><br />As soon as Harry left the classroom, Malfoy’s face crumpled, and he buried it in his hands. As Severus retreated, he could hear Malfoy swearing softly.<br /><br />“Fuck, fuck, fuck….” Then something that sounded very much like a sob and “Get a fucking grip, Draco. It was just a fuck…just a fuck…”<br /><br />Leaving the Charms classroom, Severus headed straight for the front door, forgetting his night patrol duty, and just needing some air. The pain of seeing Harry with another man, especially a man as young and beautiful as Draco Malfoy, was overwhelming. The fact that Harry had known Severus was there, watching them, was humiliating beyond belief. He took the path that circumvented the lake, paying no attention to the beauty of the night or to the world around him.<br /><br />He had reconciled himself with the knowledge that Justin was his future, not Harry Potter. He had found a goal to sustain him short term with the hiring of a new Potions teacher. He had put more energy into his friendships. But being faced with the magnificent reality of the two young men fucking, having seen Harry’s body inside another, so beautiful, and now forever out of reach, was something he had not been remotely prepared to deal with.<br /><br />He stopped walking suddenly, as a truly disturbing revelation about his own character came to the fore, vaguely noting the accuracy of the expression “to have one’s blood run cold”. Had he really looked down at Draco Malfoy for his egocentric behaviour? How could he reproach Justin his self-centered attitude? <br />Their selfishness and self-absorption were nothing, <i>nothing!</i> to his own. In the past few weeks, not once, <i>not even once!</i> had he given any thoughts to Harry’ s feelings.<br /><br />His legs seemed suddenly deprived of the strength to carry him, the weight of his guilt overbearing. <br /><br />Crushed, he sat, then lay down on the ground, looking up at the myriad of stars, as his mind relentlessly replayed scenes from the past few months. <br /><br />Harry, coming to his quarters at Easter with a sincere, heartfelt apology, just to have a door pettily slammed in his face. <br /><br />Harry, coming to seek advice from him about his magic, and opening up about his feelings after Severus pushed him to do so, only to be completely ignored for weeks. <br /><br />Harry, returning yet again, open, vulnerable, declaring himself fully, confessing his love, just to be faced, as Severus had been tonight, with the obvious and concrete reality of the man he loved having been interrupted by his visit in the middle of sexual congress with someone else.<br /><br />Severus had thought of no one but himself, the entire time. Harry barely out the door, he had playfully engaged Justin in mildly kinky intercourse, catching him, tying him up, spanking him, rimming him and fucking his mouth to teach him, once and for all, about deep throating, pleasuring himself on the young man’s cock until the seemingly unavoidable premature ejaculation, and finishing himself by fucking the young man deep and hard, their best sex yet. <br /><br />Not one thought for Harry, his pain, his humiliation, his despair. Miss Granger’s Stinging Hex suddenly took on a whole new meaning. She had probably had to deal with the aftermath of that evening, and had taken a modicum of revenge on her friend’s account.<br /><br />His own breakdown the other night had been completely about himself, his loss, his grief. Severus was appalled, disgusted with his selfishness, his total obliviousness of Harry’s misery.<br /><br />He realized his attraction to Harry, his love for Harry had been just as selfish, and oblivious of the fact that Harry Potter was not just strength, goodness, courage, intelligence and self-sacrifice wrapped in a beautiful package. He was before anything else a very young man, coming out of a terrible childhood, a horrifying adolescence, and into adulthood, dealing with the discovery of his homosexuality, the anxiety over his rapidly growing powers, the decisions to be made about his future, and passionate feelings of love for an older man he admired and considered superior to him in everyway.<br /><br />For the first time, Severus Snape’s heart went out to Harry, hurt for him, felt for him, understood the man, not the two dimensional construct he had heretofore viewed in his place. There, on the grass, in the middle of a mild night of May, Severus Snape helplessly, really and truly fell in love with Harry, the insecure teenager at his door, the proud man walking out of his rooms his head held high despite a terribly painful and humiliating blow, the lover begging at his feet, the powerful wizard dealing with his frightening strength in duels, the friend who laughed with miss Granger through his pain, the generous boy who extended a hand to his childhood nemesis and made life liveable again for Draco Malfoy.<br /><br />Severus felt the unique privilege he had had to watch such a man grow up, to have been part of his life, and the enormous honour he had received to be loved by him, desired by him above all others.<br /><br />He saw Harry’s recent coldness for what it was, a way to deal with pain, a tentative to recover his shattered pride, a way to cope with a broken heart.<br /><br />Severus shivered. The ground was cold. He sat, holding his knees, then stood (still after many days, feeling a twinge where the hex had hit, though he felt no resentment towards Miss Granger any more).<br /><br />He would go home to his young lover now, to his truncated destiny. But his love for Harry was coursing through him. He had no idea what he could do, but he wanted to see the man he loved strong, and whole and happy. The idea of seeing him happy with another, though the direct result of the choices Severus had had to make, was incredibly hurtful, but the thought of Harry sad and alone was much more so.<br /><br />Entering his quarters, welcomed by a naked Justin who was smiling seductively at him, feeling his body react, and knowing the affection he owed the young man, he faced the consequences of the ironic vagaries of his life.<br /><br />He had refused to acknowledge his attraction to one man, and had accepted the love of another, to be faced with the surprising knowledge that the first man returned his feelings. He had grieved his lost opportunity and had decided to make the best of the situation, only to fall in love all over again, this time completely, whole heartedly, and selflessly, with the first man again, knowing fully well all hopes had passed.<br /><br />He could not handle the thought of sex that evening (The image of Harry fucking Malfoy was seared on the inside of his eye lids, his deeper understanding of reality doing nothing to lessen the pain), he only wanted to sleep.<br /><br />“I’m sorry, Justin, I need to be alone tonight. Please be kind enough to go back to your dorm.”<br /><br />The pout, the stubborn little frown. “I’ve been waiting for hours! How can you want to be alone when you could be with me? You can even fuck my mouth again if you want, as long as you rim me after, OK? Come on, Severus, I’m all hot and bothered, and I can see you’re half hard already.”<br /><br />Justin had all but tapped his foot down like a toddler in a tantrum. Severus felt so tired. He owed his life to Justin. He knew he did. He was willing to give the young man as much as he could. But was there no limit to this debt?<br /><br />“Justin, please listen to me. Tonight, I want solitude. It has nothing to do with you. I have given you my passwords, given you leave to come and go as you please. But every once in a while, I will ask for time alone, and I expect you to respect that.”<br /><br />The trembling lip, the eyes full of tears. “You say you’ll never forget what I did for you, but you want to be able to throw me out anytime you feel like it! What about me! What about my needs?”<br /><br />Severus sighed. Justin <i>would</i> grow up, eventually, but right now, that day seemed much too far away. He felt so tired.<br /><br />“Fine,” he said. “If it makes it easier for you, stay…” Justin smiled in victory. “… I’ll go.” <br /><br />Severus turned around and left his rooms, closing the doors quietly behind him. He went to his office and used the floo to the Three Broomsticks, where he secured a room from Rosmerta for the night, and bought from her a small bottle of commercial sleeping aid. He drank the inferior swill, took off his clothes and lay in bed. <br /><br />His life, for years, had been filled with guilt, pain, fear, bitterness and anger, driven by duty, loyalty and purpose. He had been an important character in a griping war and spy story. Now his life had become a badly written romance novel, with him as the caricature of a star-crossed lover. Never had he been so grateful for his love of irony.<br /><br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_</center><br /><br />Harry had been waiting outside the Great Hall since breakfast began. Malfoy, usually early, was rather late today. But here he was, with Nott, the Greengrass sisters, and Zabini, quiet in their midst. As they got closer, he saw Harry by the door, and smiled, a smile that did not reach his eyes, then turned away. Fuck. Harry, finding his Gryffindor courage, stepped forward and touched his arm.<br /><br />“Draco, got a minute? I’d like to talk to you.”<br /><br />Harry could tell Draco was torn between blowing him off or cutting him down in front of everyone. He added quickly, “Please, Draco.”<br /><br />Draco shrugged his acquiescence, and his housemates went on without him.<br /><br />“In here?” asked Harry, pointing to an alcove looking out to the front lawn.<br /><br />Draco shrugged again. Harry had been agonizing all night about how shabbily he had treated Draco after he had stuck his neck out to talk to him about what he had done to Hermione, and after an incredibly intimate and beautiful sexual experience. He had thought long and hard about how to handle the situation, had tried to think like a Slytherin, and was hoping to strike the right note to allow Draco to forgive him without Draco losing face by admitting he cared. <br /><br />After putting up a privacy spell, hoping for the best, Harry started.<br /><br />“About last night…”<br /><br />Draco’s face hardened, and he was about to speak, so Harry said quickly, “Please, wait to mock ‘till I’m done, and then you can laugh at me all you want, OK?”<br /><br />Draco looked a bit surprised, but shrugged again.<br /><br />“I want to apologize. Draco… last night? Last night was the best sex I’ve ever had, and afterwards, kissing you, holding you… I could tell I was about to start gushing, to kiss you all over, cuddle you, call you ridiculous pet names, whisper a bunch of sentimental things in your ear and make vows and promises. It was <i>that</i> good for me. Then I remembered how casual you feel about sex, and I freaked out. I just knew I couldn’t help make a total romantic arse of myself if I lingered and I was totally aware you’d never let me live it down. So instead, I acted like a total jerk. I just couldn’t seem to find a middle ground. I’m really sorry.” <br /><br />He could see the Slytherin thinking through what he’d just said, and making a decision on how to respond.<br />Draco smirked. “Well, I can’t really blame you, Potter. Yesterday was definitely gush-worthy. Actually, I have to thank you, because you probably saved me the embarrassment of declaring my love, and asking for you to marry me, which we both know is impossible.”<br /><br />Following Draco’s lead, Harry nodded understandingly, “because I’m not a girl,” he affirmed.<br /><br />Draco swept that objection away with an elegant hand. “Pff! Because you’re not a <i>blond</i>,” he clarified, as if Harry had completely missed the point.<br /><br />They cracked up, looking in each other’s eyes in relief. They were OK. Better than OK, really. Harry had the fleeting thought that, as far as he was concerned, one of the best things about Voldemort being dead was that he got to be friends with Draco.<br /><br />“Gush-worthy, eh?” he confirmed.<br /><br />“Totally.” Draco moved as if to reach for his face, but laid his hand on Harry shoulder instead. “So, Potter, what do you say? Fuckbuddies?”<br /><br />“Uh-uh. Not good enough.” Harry did reach for Draco’s face, cupping his cheek in his palm, running his thumb over his lower lip. “Friends with benefits.”<br /><br />Draco’s smile this time was a real one. They let go of each other. <br /><br />“No chance of reversing positions though, right?” confirmed Draco.<br /><br />“Probably not,” admitted Harry.<br /><br />“Saving something for true love?”<br /><br />Harry pulled a face and nodded sheepishly.<br /><br />“Yeah,” agreed Draco. The fact that he blushed and obviously could relate passed right over Harry’s head. <br /><br />“Hey, I’m starving. If we don’t hustle, we’ll miss breakfast,” he added, redirecting the conversation.<br /><br />“You’re right, let’s go.” They walked to the Great Hall together. Harry felt really good. Before they parted ways, he bumped shoulders with Draco and smiled at him. Draco smiled back.<br /><br />Harry inserted himself between Hermione and Seamus at the Gryffindor table, forcing them both to scootch up.<br /><br />“Harry!” griped Hermione, barely saving the glass she held from spilling on herself. <br /><br />“Really, Potter! I was enjoying the nearness of that gorgeous lass. You’re such a kill joy!”<br /><br />“Well, return to type, and enjoy the nearness of this gorgeous lad. And pass the bacon.”<br /><br />He joked and laughed with his friends, happy things had gone so well with Draco. Suddenly, as if hearing a silent call, he looked to the teacher’s table. Snape was staring at him with hunger in his eyes. <br /><br />Hunger and… feeling. Harry felt his heart soar at the same time as anger made him clench his teeth and humiliation was like acid in his belly.<br /><br />The dichotomy of his response was utterly crazy making. The pain he had felt realizing the full meaning of Fletch’s appearance that night bloomed in his chest all over again, yet he could not help but feel joy at taking in the details of the beloved face, the dark eyes, the thin lips, the sharp cheek bones and the majestic nose.<br /><br />Snape, after all, had not meant to hurt him, to humiliate him. He’d just lived his life. Harry was the one who had made a fool of himself. Suddenly, for the first time since that night, he recalled Snape’s response to his own soul baring.<br /><br /><i>“Harry… You are a gift, Harry. Undeserved, unforeseen, but so, so wanted.”</i><br /><br />It had been eclipsed by the overwhelming feelings that had followed. What had Snape been playing at, saying such a thing with his lover in his bed next door? Then again, Harry was pretty sure Justin had cheated on Blaise with Draco. Now he was cheating with Snape. Had Harry read too much in the situation? Were Snape and Fletch just fucking around?<br /><br /><i>“Do not think your feelings are unwelcome, Harry,”</i>were the last words Snape had said to him. What the fuck did that mean?<br /><br />Shit. He’s been starring at Snape for the past five minutes. And Snape was starring right back with the strangest expression on his face. How could one look so hopeful, yet so forlorn at the same time?<br /><br />Harry looked away, utterly confused. Unexpectedly, Hermione’s small, cool hand was on his cheek, and as he met her eyes, her smile was as warm as a hug. He smiled back at her. <br /><br />“A knut for your thoughts, Harry, but not literally please! Never do that again, last time I had a headache for three hours.”<br /><br />“Don’t worry, I never will. I’ve since learned it is punishable by law, with a nice long stay in Azkaban.”<br /><br />“What?”<br /><br />Harry told her what he’d learned from Draco, and apologized profusely for putting her at risk.<br /><br />“Well, no harm done, apparently. And I have some really good blackmail material, now…” She got up and picked up her bag.<br /><br />“Yes, well, don’t forget I saw what you were wearing under that prim uniform when we went shopping the other day… Talk about blackmail material,” Harry retorted, picking up his own bag.<br /><br />“Shut up. I was meeting Ron later…” she explained, as they walked out of the Great Hall.<br /><br />“Such bull. I saw you leaving for your <i>assignation</i> with my best friend. You were wearing jeans, and your hair was wet. Admit it Hermione, you have a lingerie kink.”<br /><br />“Assignation, Harry? I’m impressed. Your vocabulary is improving!” teased Hermione.<br /><br />“Way to change the subject… As subtle as an elephant in a china shop,” mocked Harry as they entered Transfiguration, seconds ahead of the bell. <br /><br />They sat down and moaned with the rest of the class when McGonagall handed out a surprise quiz. That woman definitely had an evil streak.<br /><br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_</center><br /><br />The second time Severus caught sight of Harry engaged in sexual activity, it was Saturday late in the afternoon. He’d gone for a stroll to Hogsmead after lunch, with no particular goal in mind, and was just returning, having bought a box of butterscotch candy for Filius, the Charms teacher’s favourite, just because. He took the long way back to Hogwarts, on the hardly ever used trail, on the east side of the lake. It was by complete mischance that he happened to catch sight of the students, quite well hidden in a small out of the way clearing. <br /><br />Potter was standing, leaning on a big chestnut looking away from the lake, and Angus McGraw was on his knees, in front of him, performing fellatio. Potter was running his fingers in the brown curls and tilting his head back, evidently about reach his climax. “Gus, here I come, oh, yes, suck it out, swallow it, t’so good when you do that, mmmm, yeah…”<br /><br />A sharp stab of jealousy hit Severus. He would have given anything to be the one to create such an expression on Harry’s face. He could not be seen, having caught sight of them through a small opening between the leaves of the bushes lining the path, and them facing to the right. He stood still, expecting the two youths to have concluded their tryst and head back to the castle momentarily.<br /><br />Angus looked up, grinning, and Potter looked down at him, returning the smile. “I so needed that,” said Potter. “Potions theory is so tedious.” He helped Angus up. <br /><br />“Yes. I miss Slughorn. I like to brew.”<br /><br />“So, you’ve taken care of me. Anything I can do for you?” asked Potter, after putting himself to right.<br /><br />“Anything?”<br /><br />“Sure.”<br /><br />“Rimming with a hand job?” asked Angus, hopeful.<br /><br />“I’d love to rim you. Your arse tastes like toast.” Potter took his robes and threw them on the ground, transfiguring them into a mattress. He was wearing Muggle clothes today. “Off with the pants, Gus, hands and knees.” He chuckled. “I’m salivating just thinking about it.”<br /><br />Angus, who was also wearing jeans and a t-shirt under his robes did him one better and took everything off.<br /><br />“Good idea,” said Potter, who disrobed completely as well. Didn’t these boys ever wear underthings?<br />Angus, standing on his knees, was looking at Harry over his shoulder with a smile. Potter kneeled behind him and took him in his arms. They reached for a kiss, then Potter sucked Angus’s ear lobe, kissed under his ear, and nibbled his way down his neck. He lightly bit the angle of the neck and shoulder, and Severus shivered along with McGraw’s moan. That was one of his own sensitive spot. He should go. He had no right to spy on them. They were both of age, on their afternoon off, far from prying eyes, doing nothing wrong.<br /><br />Angus was on all fours now, and Potter was making his way down his body, kissing, licking, biting, scratching. His arms reached around his partner’s body and he played with his nipples. Angus was arching his back, loving every bit of it. Potter was an amazingly sensuous man. The pleasure he took, caressing every inch of his friend’s body, as he continued to back away, going further and further down, was obvious in his renewed erection (Now, that’s a cock! commented Draco Malfoy’s slightly mocking voice in Severus’s head. Why, why did his internal voice have to be Draco’s?). That’s it. Severus was leaving.<br /><br />Potter ran his tongue down Angus’s crack, as Angus moaned in anticipation. Potter sat on his heels, and spread the round cheeks with his hands, taking in the view and smiling. He bit his lower lip as his cock rose further. Then he lowered his face to his friend’s arse with obvious relish, and went to work. Angus McGraw’s expressive face showed clearly why he’d requested this particular act over anything else. Either he was particularly partial to it (and who wasn’t?) or Potter was particularly proficient at it.<br /><br />Either way, he was in heaven. The sounds he made had Severus hard and aching, wanting very much to be where the young man was, to know that ecstasy. Potter’s hand came around Angus’s body, grasped his cock and milked it, fast and tight, and in less than a minute, Angus sprayed his release, screaming in pleasure as he came. Potter, wiping his mouth on his forearm, came to his knees and entered Angus in one smooth stroke, and immediately started fucking him hard, fast and deep.<br /><br />“Oh, God, Harry, come, please come! I want to feel your hot spunk in me!”<br /><br />A couple more pushes and Potter came, crying out, head thrown back, so beautiful in his orgasm that Severus followed him, erupting inside is pants. Fuck. He’d meant to leave, he really had. He backed away, silently, and Potter turned his head and unerringly looked at him over his shoulder, straight in the eyes, making Severus’s heart miss a beat. Harry’s face revealed nothing.<br /><br />Severus turned around and walked off, casting an energetic cleaning spell on himself, ashamed, aroused, utterly confused. Why had he stayed? How long had Potter known he was there? Why had he come in his pants like some sexually deprived teenager? Was Harry over him? What would it be like to have such an exquisite lover? Would Harry have had as much passion, taken as much sensuous joy at pleasuring his own almost forty year old body as he obviously did his young classmates’? Would he have even been inspired to?<br /><br />Justin certainly wasn’t, despite how much and how long he said he had loved and wanted Severus. How could he compare the two? Justin and Harry had nothing in common aside from their sex and age…<br /><br />Deep in his thoughts he did not see the two young men until all three of them started up the stairs to Hogwarts at the same time, arriving from opposite sides of the lake.<br /><br />“Good afternoon Professor!” said Angus. He added to Harry, “I’m glad it’s dinner time, I’m starving.”<br /><br />“A nice day to commune with nature, Professor Snape?” asked Harry, starring at Severus. “Bird watching perhaps? Observing the mating season of wild creatures in their natural habitat?” <br /><br />“There are wonderfully beautiful things to be seen in the woods, this time of year,” replied Snape, unflinching, starring back. “It sometimes makes me wish I could be a participant in the celebration of Spring, and not just an observer,” he added, wistfully.<br /><br />Angus McGraw, walking slightly ahead of them, entered the Great hall. “See you later, Harry.”<br /><br />Harry stopped and turned to Severus. “From what I saw in your quarters, it seemed that you have been celebrating the season aplenty. Please, pity this fool and answer this: Was it an equinox dalliance or is it true love?” he inquired, definitely overstepping the boundaries of proper student to professor interaction.<br /><br />“The only thing that might be of your concern is that it will endure,” replied Severus, refusing to take offense, and choosing honesty instead. <br /><br />The hurt that flashed across Harry’s face was very painful for Severus to see. “I’m truly sorry,” he said, aching for Harry.<br /><br />“We cannot choose who we fall in love with,” replied Harry, and Severus thought he was talking of him and Justin. He realized his mistake as Harry finished his thought. “But they do say that a first love is everlasting, and that so is hope.”<br /><br />Harry was telling him he would keep on loving him, and would wait for him for as long as it would take. Severus, his deep love for that beautiful, amazing young man making his throat tight, answered, “You should be happy now, Mr. Potter. You should not wait for a day that may never come. You deserve everything good in this life, and perhaps you may find, once you leave this place for the wider world, that true love awaited you out there.” Aside from the Unforgivable curse that had put an end to his beloved mentor’s life, that was the most difficult thing he’d ever had to say.<br /><br />“I may not have seen much of the world, Professor, but I do know myself,” said Harry, dismissing the possibility of being mistaken about the depth of his feelings for Severus. “However, your message is loud and clear. I’ll never bring this up again. Good night, Professor.”<br /><br />He walked away, nothing in his bearing indicating the pain of Severus’s very final rejection.<br /><br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_</center><br /><br />Harry has no idea what had made him turn around and look through the nearby bush that afternoon. He just knew he had not been surprised to find Snape watching them.<br /><br />How long had he been there? In a heartbeat, he was gone, and Harry returned is attention to Angus who had slid off Harry’s cock and turned around, and was now lying on his back, smiling at him.<br /><br />Harry lowered himself on top of him, and kissed him, then lay on his side near him.<br /><br />“Sex is so good with you,” Gus said.<br /><br />“We’re good together. Sorry about using a spell to prep you. I just had to get into your arse.”<br /><br />“Don’t be silly. I loved it. You nailed my prostate at the end of my orgasm, and made it last twice as long. And I love feeling you come inside. It’s so good. Do you think you might consider feltching, sometime?”<br /><br />“Feltching? I don’t know what it is.”<br /><br />“Oh. It’s just this kink I have. It’s… weird, I guess. It’s when, after you come inside my arse, you go down and suck your cum back out and clean my hole with your tongue. Most guys think it’s gross, and believe me, I get it. It’s just… Well, the thought of it really turns me on.”<br /><br />“Hmm. I’ll give it some thought. Most guys think rimming is gross, and I love it, so…”<br /><br />“Well, rimming is gross for Muggles, I guess. They can’t do Rectum et colonia, vacuo et tergeo just before. They have to rely on timing and good hygiene. I’d think twice about it too, if I were them…”<br /><br />“No shit!” said Harry, who could not help but add, “No pun intended.” <br /><br />They laughed.<br /><br />“Well, time to get back, I think,” said Angus.<br /><br />“Yeah.”<br /><br />Harry could not believe when they made it back to the castle at the exact same time as Snape. Though he knew his anger was misplaced, he couldn’t help a jab at the Professor.<br /><br />Snape’s response just made him angrier. Like what he had said to Harry before Justin had shown up, his reply about wishing to be a participant and not just an observer of Harry’s sexual escapade was just not on. Unless he was letting him know that Justin was just a fuck? Harry had to know. He tried for lightness and ended up being flippant, but Snape did not seem to care. His response, <i>“It will endure,”</i> though not really answering the question was at least honest. It was not just a fuck. So why did he keep looking at Harry that way, and saying these things?<br /><br />But it was Snape’s answer when Harry basically told him he could wait that hurt the most. There was no point in waiting. Harry should move on, find love elsewhere.<br /><br />Yet the whole time, Harry was sure he could hear overwhelming emotion in Snape’s voice, see misery and regret on his face. It made no sense. Was he faking it, just to hurt Harry more?<br /><br />Whatever. As Harry had told Snape, the message was loud and clear. No matter what he thought he read in Snape’s looks, no matter the contrary signals Snape seemed to be sending all the times, his actions spoke louder. He did not want Harry. Not now, not ever. Harry had to face that, and live with it.<br /><br />He sat down at his usual place for dinner, deep in thought, and Hermione, with the wonderful way she had, gave him the time he needed. That night, he begged off studying Potions again, and they concentrated on Charms. They quizzed each other from Hermione’s notes since first year. Harry was once again impressed with how thorough his friend was, as it was obvious she had checked most facts in books from the library.<br /><br />They also went over old essays and tests. Harry had no idea where his were. At some point, Malfoy joined them, and he too seemed to have kept all his work. It was a very productive session, and went on deep into the night, as Madam Pince decided to read a novel at her desk to give them extra time.<br /><br />They had gone all the way to fourth year by the time they called it quits.<br /><br />“You guys are both amazing,” commented Harry. “I’d be lost without you.”<br /><br />“I was taught how to study in private school, Harry. They spend a lot of time teaching us how to learn, how to take notes, how to take tests,” shrugged Hermione.<br /><br />“Same here, Potter. I had private tutors, and they all knew the system. I was told what to keep, how to study, how to get the most out of lectures. How many kids were in your class in primary school?”<br /><br />“Thirty-five, I think.”<br /><br />“We were ten per class,” said Hermione, “And my parents put education ahead of everything else.”<br /><br />“I lived in a cupboard, and never had time to do my homework. Then, in the summers, while I was at Hogwarts, I was forbidden to do any. I guess it explains the differences…”<br /><br />“You really lived in a cupboard? I thought that was one of those legends, Potter.”<br /><br />“No. No legend. That’s even where my Hogwarts letter was addressed. Harry Potter, the cupboard under the stairs.”<br /><br />“So Dumbledore knew?”<br /><br />“Yes. I loved and admired that man, but at the same time… there are things about him I will never understand, that I find hard to forgive.”<br /><br />“I can relate. My dad is Lucius Malfoy…”<br /><br />The two boys looked at each other with understanding.<br /><br />“Well, I’m the lucky one. My dad is a peach, and so is my mum. I had an amazingly happy childhood, and I am hoping of marrying into another fabulous family.”<br /><br />“Yeah. That’s why we all secretly hate you, Granger…” said Draco, smirking.<br /><br />“Since when is it secretly, Draco?” teased Hermione.<br /><br />“Uh. Good point,” said Draco, smiling at her. “Though if you ever dump the Weasel, I could learn to hate you less. You’ve got a nice body, Granger. I’d love to see if your tits match my fantasy…”<br /><br />“Ew! Draco! Keep hating me, please. And keep your filthy mind off my tits!”<br /><br />“They’re nice and perky,” said Harry, “and she wears lacy underthings…”<br /><br />“Harry Potter! How dare you!”<br /><br />“Well, the knowledge is lost on me. I thought I’d pass it on to someone who would make good use of it…”<br /><br />“Ohhh, time for a looong shower for me!” said Draco, laughing at her, and heading towards Slytherin, as they took the stairs up towards Gryffindor.<br /><br />Hermione was smiling and shaking her head as they went up. “He is really quite nice and funny, isn’t he,” she said.<br /><br />“Yes. I really like him.”<br /><br />“You two should get together. You’d be a beautiful couple,” she said, sincerely.<br /><br />“No future though. I’m not blond, you see,” replied Harry, laughing to himself.<br /><br />“Why do I feel I’m missing something?”<br /><br />“Nothing big, trust me. But seriously, Draco will get married someday, with a pretty blond heiress, and they will produce an heir and live happily ever after, at least officially. My bet is on Astoria Greengrass. I could never be someone’s dirty secret, Hermione, never.”<br /><br />She smiled at him. “I know. And I love that about you.”<br /><br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_</center><br /><br />The third time Severus ran into Harry fucking someone else, it was Zachariah Smith, of all people. Severus had not even known the boy was gay, but he obviously was, and not a beginner from what Severus could assess from his comments.<br /><br />“Fuck! Your dick is so big! Bigger than Seamus’s even! And you fuck even better than Malfoy… Yeah, yeah, right there! Shit, you’re good. Last time I sucked Angus, he said you were the best, and fuck! He was right. I’m gonna shoot! I’m gonna shoot ! Ahhh!”<br /><br />Harry pulled out and came on the floor of the abandoned classroom. He immediately cast a cleaning charm on himself and the floor, and zipped up.<br /><br />“That was fucking great,” said Smith, turning around, “And you can come inside, you know! I promise not to get knocked up!” He laughed at his own joke. “Hey, I heard you rim like a god. Think we can do that next time?”<br /><br />“There won’t be a next time Zach. I did not particularly enjoy this time, and I have no intention of repeating the experience. You have a nice arse, but you are as obnoxious to fuck as you are at any other time. See you around.” And he left. As he passed Severus, who had not made it beyond the doorway, and was once again hidden by a Notice-Me-Not charm, he said to him, “Hello, Professor. Can you believe this guy?” <br />and continued on down the corridor.<br /><br />Severus wondered if Potter was starting to think he was stalking him. He was not. He had been doing his rounds as usual, and always random-checked a few empty classrooms. It was getting embarrassing.<br /><br />The fourth time Severus walked in on Potter was in the Library, at a study desk that was never used because of a cold air current slipping between the stones from a secondary staircase, which would freeze anyone who sat there for more than fifteen minutes, winter <i>and </i>summer. It also happened to be very isolated, in the z section of the rarefied subject of Elemental Transmutation, of which study had ceased about three hundred years ago. Severus had been looking for a reference text by Igor Ivanovitch Zovioff, who, in the process of experimenting on silver to tin transmutation, had discovered the blood pressure reducing properties of Merkle blue moss. <br /><br />Pulling the book off the shelf he’d opened a small window between the tomes on the stack. It gave him a view of the isolated desk on which Draco Malfoy was leaning as Potter gave him a blowjob. He was swallowing Malfoy’s non-negligible girth without any apparent difficulty, burying his nose in the blond pubic hair, sucking, licking, teasing, while Draco bit his fist to stay quiet, looking delirious with pleasure. He had to let go of his hand as his breath became ragged, and ran his fingers in a loving caress through Potter’s wild hair, his lips clearly forming the silent words, “I love you, I love you, I love you…” Finally, he came with a throaty whisper, “Oh, Harry…”.<br /><br />After gently licking him clean, Harry stood up and kissed him, tenderly pushing the sweaty blond strands from his forehead. “I just love the way your cum tastes, the way you smell,” Potter confided, smiling. Then he grinned and added, “I guess I love sucking your cock.”<br /><br />“I love the way you kiss,” replied Draco, smiling and caressing Harry’s lips with the tips of his fingers, and added teasingly, “and your little dominant streak.” He caressed Harry’s cheek. “I love the way you make me feel…”<br /><br />“We’re <i>so</i> gushing,” remarked Potter, chuckling.<br /><br />Draco chuckled too. “It seems to happen anytime we have any kind of sex.” He shrugged. “I don’t mind, you don’t mind, so, who cares! No one else hears us.”<br /><br />“What if someone could, would you care?” asked Harry, his eyes leaving Malfoy’s as he scanned in the general direction of the stack behind which Severus stood, giving Severus the feeling that as usual, Potter knew he was there.<br /><br />“Hmm. If I cared that they might come to the wrong conclusion, I suppose.” Draco shrugged. <br /><br />“Like what?” asked Potter, caressing the blond’s face, tracing his cheek bones, his eyebrows.<br /><br />“Perhaps they’d think… We’ve fallen in love with each other,” said Draco, the grey eyes meeting the greens. Severus realized that his greatest fear was Draco greatest hope.<br /><br />“Nah, I don’t think we’d have to worry about that,” replied Harry, oblivious to Draco’s true feelings. He smiled at Draco. “With you in the mix, they’d know better. You’ve said so enough times that by now that everyone knows that, as far as you’re concerned, sex is just a fun pastime, a very pleasurable activity, in no way related to emotions.”<br /><br />Draco nodded, acknowledging the reputation he had made for himself. “But what about you?”<br /><br />“Well, I’m a hero, so they’d probably think I’m a tragic, romantic figure, with some great secret unrequited love or something equally inane, trying to feed my hungry heart with out-of-control promiscuity.” They both grinned, but Severus had the distinct feeling that Harry was talking to him. <br /><br />“No,” Harry continued. “I hope that if they were smart at all, they would see the situation for what it really is: two men who recently discovered they really like each other and share an explosive sexual chemistry, enjoying a moment together: that’s all.” Oh, Merlin. Harry was actually saying that to reassure <i>him</i>, and the worst part was how pathetically grateful Severus was.<br /><br />Draco pulled Harry towards him. “Is that enough for you, Harry?”<br /><br />“It could not be anything else,” said Harry. “I have nothing else to give.” He looked at Draco, and added, smirking a little. ”And we both know some day you will marry a pretty blond girl from the landed gentry.” <br /><br />“Yes. A pretty blond girl. And we’ll live happily ever after,” said Draco, smiling wistfully.<br /><br />“You know what, Draco? I think we should enjoy what we have while we can,” said Harry, moving even closer, teasing him for a few seconds by coming in as if to kiss him and backing up to look in his eyes, and then finally kissing him gently. <br /><br />“Make love to me Harry,” said Draco, softly. “As if nothing else mattered and there was just the two of us in the world.”<br /><br />Harry lay him down on the desk, now as soft as a bed, lay next to him and kissed him, running his hands on his body as Draco’s clothes disappeared.<br /><br />Snape turned away and left quietly, just barely hearing Harry’s answer, “Now that we’re alone, Draco, nothing else matters to me but you.”<br /><br />The next time, it was Tuesday. On his way to The Three Broomsticks Severus had quickly ducked down the alley next to the pub to avoid the ever nosy and gossipy Pomona Sprout whom he had glimpsed walking in his direction. He stumbled on Harry fucking some small but gorgeous black man against the wall. Harry had heard his footsteps and glanced in his direction just in time to come while looking right in Severus’s eyes. In his bliss, he could not control want, love, and infinite sorrow from showing in his gaze.<br /><br />A few days after that, it was Julius Marchbanks riding Harry’s cock in a small clearing of the Forbidden Forest (where Hagrid had told Severus he could find the early toadstools he needed), Harry’s eyes closed in bliss. As soon as Severus stealthily started backing away, Harry opened them of course, freezing the Potions Master in his tracts. Their eyes met, and a look of such yearning appeared on Potter’s face, it tore at Severus’s heart. Harry came with a sound like a sob and a single tear running down his cheek.<br /><br />The next Tuesday, late at night, Severus was sitting at his usual place at the bar. He had refused all offers, and had sent none. He’d arrived around ten thirty, leaving his quarters as soon as Justin had fallen asleep, not with sex in mind, but just avid for a change of environment, a change of air, and knowing that this late at night, Harry would have left the pub a long time ago, having never seen him there past ten. He’d been talking to Rosmerta a while, enjoying her usual nameless gossip, laughing at her banter, when Samuel Turpin came down the stairs, looking well fucked.<br /><br />“Hey Snape. Going solo tonight?”<br /><br />“No, here for the delightful female company for a change,” replied Severus, smiling at Rosmerta.<br /><br />“I have a bone to pick with the present female company,” answered Samuel, looking as if he meant quite the opposite.<br /><br />“Oh, yes?” asked Rosmerta, laughing.<br /><br />“You knew he didn’t bottom, didn’t you? You knew he was going to fuck the daylights out of me…”<br /><br />Rosmerta shrugged, and grinned. “Are you telling me you’re sorry you went?”<br /><br />“Fuck no. God, it was the best fuck of my life. Who is that guy, anyway? I could have sworn I knew him from somewhere, but I can’t put my finger on it.”<br /><br />“I’m sure I don’t know. He just comes from time to time.”<br /><br />“And made me come, time and time again. Let me know if he’s ever in town again, will you?”<br /><br />“What, you’d bottom again?” she teased.<br /><br />“For him? Anytime, Rosmerta, anytime,” said Samuel, seriously, as he departed.<br /><br />Severus drank his elf wine silently, waiting the woman out. Finally, she stopped fussing under the bar and looked at him with a smile.<br /><br />“So, you’re not going to ask me about the top that left as exclusive a top as Sam Turpin happy and wanting more?”<br /><br />“I figured you’d get around to telling me about him when you were good and ready.”<br /><br />She chortled. <br /><br />Severus was more curious than ever. “So, you have been holding out on me?”<br /><br />“No, you know I wouldn’t. It just would not work between you, Severus.”<br /><br />“You think you know me that well?”<br /><br />“Twenty years is a long time, but still, I would not say so, ordinarily. But in this case, trust me my friend, this one is not for you. And it’s late. Go home.”<br /><br />“Why? Is your mystery top about to come down?”<br /><br />“No. He sleeps here, usually.”<br /><br />Severus did not know what to make of her expression.<br /><br />“What is it, Romy?” he asked, taking her hand, using the nickname only her closest friends new about.<br /><br />She looked sad. “Of all the boys I’ve hosted through the years, Severus, including you, I would wish for him to be happy. But I guess some people just never catch a break.” She smiled and shrugged again. “You know me and my bleeding heart. Maybe things will go his way, someday.”<br /><br />Severus had never seen Rosmerta quite so down. He kissed her cheek, and she locked the front door behind him. He watched from the street as she sighed and put his stool on the bar. She dried her hands on her apron, took off her heels, and walked, in stocking feet, to the door that led to her small apartment. He made his way towards Hogwarts, but before the turn, looked at the pub once again. Standing at a window of the second floor, his face lit by the gas lamp, was Harry. Though he could not possibly see Severus in the dark, he was staring right at him and Severus could have sworn the young man nodded to him before pulling down his shades.<br /><br />It got to the point where Severus did not dare wander from the most taken path, whether during his rounds of even while out for a walk. Anywhere else than the most populated venues he was sure to find the young man in a compromising situation, and every time, he was sure to get caught looking, whether he did for an instant or a half an hour. <br /><br />There were only six weeks left before the end of the year, and he didn’t know whether to wish it over or to fear it. He would not run into a naked Harry fucking someone else in the dark recesses of an abandoned corridor, but neither would he feast his eyes on the young man walking in the Great Hall, duelling in his class, playing Quidditch, and occasionally smiling at him, as if Harry had forgotten reality for an instant, and the future was still ahead of them.<br /><br />The twentieth of May was Septima’s birthday. Her one hundredth, for many years in a row, now, certainly for the many years he had known her. On Tuesday the nineteenth, the gift Severus had ordered for her finally arrived by owl post. Severus had had a special game of chess carved just for her, with the familiar faces of her colleagues on the pieces, Albus as king, of course, Minerva as queen, Flitwick and Sprout as bishops, Hagrid and Hooch as knights and Himself and Sinistra as Rooks. The pawns were hapless students, weighted down by books, some with their wands behind their ears or in their mouths, their hats askew. <br /><br />The whole thing looked fantastic, and Severus could not wait to see her reaction. He was about to wrap it when Justin came by.<br /><br />“Ooh!” said the young man, “you got me a gift?” Severus chuckled and looked up. Oh. Justin had not been joking.<br /><br />“No, Justin. Not unless you are turning a hundred and have been my friend for more years than you have been alive.”<br /><br />Justin made a disappointed pout and demanded, “Let me see. “ <br /><br />Somewhat reluctantly, Severus undid the semi wrapped packaged and showed him the pieces. <br /><br />“Wow,” said Justin. “These must have cost a mint. What an ugly bunch…”<br /><br />“They are Septima’s friends, Justin. My friends as well. You may not think them attractive, but I cannot think of more pleasant faces to greet in the morning at the breakfast table. Perhaps some day you’ll understand how close you can get to people who have seen you through the worst and the best times of your life.”<br /><br />“Well, hopefully, <i>this</i> is the best time of your life, and next year <i>I</i> will be the one greeting you for breakfast in the morning.”<br /><br />Severus sighed. Well he’d put it off long enough. “About that Justin: I know we have discussed plans for the coming year, but some complications have arisen.”<br /><br />Justin frowned. “What complications? I thought it was all set and decided.”<br /><br />“The new Potions Professor is not up to the task, Justin. He has to be replaced.”<br /><br />“Don’t tell me you are even considering teaching Potions again! The stained hand, the greasy hair, the jaundiced skin! No thank you!”<br /><br />“I’m not!” said Severus, annoyed that Justin would never understand his passion for his art. “I am helping Minerva recruit a new teacher for the coming year. It made me realize that she also has to hire a new Transfiguration professor. I cannot in good conscience put her through having to search for a new DADA professor as well. I thought to remain an extra year, and help things settle down before adding to her burden.”<br /><br />“You have got to be kidding! The way she treated you last year? Why should you care! And she can just hire anyone for your job. Even Dumbledore never took DADA seriously. For god’s sake Severus! DADA is a joke!”<br /><br />“Is it now? It is nice to hear what you think of a subject into which I have poured so much of my energy this past year, and in which I happen to hold a Mastery. It certainly puts what you think of my life’s work into perspective. And what, may I ask, were you planning on bending your brilliant mind to this next year?”<br /><br />“Oh! Don’t act all insulted! Six months ago, you were letting yourself die despite your passion for teaching and your life’s work in Potions and Defence, or have you forgotten? Where were your friends then? I was there for you when you really needed help, and I am planning on being your lover, your best friend, your companion of every hour, to share my life with you! But I guess my devotion pales in comparison to old Septima’s.”<br /><br />Severus was angry at Justin, and felt guilty for being angry at him, and angry at him for feeling guilty. “I am very much looking forward to seeing the world with you, to sharing my life with you, Justin, but I have never agreed to forgetting my previous life, the affection I feel for some of my colleagues, the debt of gratitude I owe them. I do not intend to live in isolation for the rest of my life.”<br /><br />“So you have already made up your mind. You have made a decision that affects both our futures without even consulting me. What am I to you, Severus? A fuck toy?”<br /><br />(‘How could that be, since you so completely suck at it?’ said Draco’s voice in Severus’s head.)<br /><br />“Oh, shut up!” yelled Severus, exasperated with his inner voice.<br /><br />“Oh, my god! Is that the way I can expect you to talk to me anytime we disagree on something?” asked Justin, outraged.<br /><br />“No! No, Justin. I apologize. I wasn’t speaking to you. Well, I wasn’t speaking to anyone. Never mind. I am sorry. I did make the decision to remain an extra year without consulting you. I knew you would be disappointed, and I… Well, I want to make you happy, Justin, but I do have others to consider. Can’t you understand that? You have friends. Do you intend on severing all bonds with them as soon as you walk out of the castle door? Surely there are people you are close to. Your fellow Hufflepuffs? Some of the Slytherins I often have seen you with, Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Zabini? Some of the Ravenclaws, Julius Marchbanks, Angus McGraw?...”<br /><br />“I would give them up in the blink of an eye if I had to choose between you and them.”<br /><br />“But you do not! No one is asking you to. Is giving up everyone in my life the price I have to pay for your companionship?”<br /><br />Somehow, Justin seemed to think better of his knee jerk response. “No. No, I guess not. I just thought I was… enough. I was just being selfish and wanting you all to myself. Maybe if our relationship wasn’t such a secret. Maybe if they all knew what we mean to each other.”<br /><br />Severus frowned, looking at Justin, wondering where the young man was going.<br /><br />“You know as well as I do how homosexuals are treated by society Justin. I would lose my position in an instant if our relationship was made public. We have not been discreet for the sakes of Hogwarts regulations alone.”<br /><br />“Well, you say the other teachers are your friend. That they have supported you, though how you can say that after last year, I can’t imagine. This party for Septima Vector, Severus, why can’t I go too? Why can’t we be a real couple? I will only be a student for a short while longer. If they are such close friends, would they mind so very much?”<br /><br />Severus sat down, his head in his hands. He pictured himself entering Septima’s quarters with his lover, Justin, eighteen, at his side. He could think of a few relationships with students his colleagues might actually understand if not condone, even if the student were male, as he had no doubt that outside of the most recent hires, who would most probably be included in the birthday celebration, all his colleagues were aware of his sexual inclination and he did not doubt their friendship. But Justin Finch-Fletchley? <br />Average student, but such a nice looking boy? Nothing at all to explain their association but… sex? (‘Mediocre sex at that. All right, all right, I’ll shut up!’ Said Draco.) Dear god. Severus realized he would be mortified should his relationship with Justin be discovered. No one would ever understand, and he could not bear explain.<br /><br />“Justin, you ask for the impossible. Our association will remain secret until I leave Hogwarts permanently and no longer seek employment. You will have to bear it. Next year, once you are no longer a student, it will be essential that you not be seen outside of my rooms. It will make it much easier if you pursue some course of study, and not attend to me, naked in our quarters, all day and all night. I have no intention to be thought a pervert with his young sex slave or for Hogwarts and Minerva’s reputation to be tainted by any kind of scandal. Your Charms grades are adequate. Perhaps you might consider continuing in that field though I know Filius has ever only accepted truly exceptional students as apprentices.”<br /><br />“You are ashamed of me! Oh my god! You are ashamed of me! After everything I… O god! I can’t stand it! I thought you loved me! I thought you needed me, wanted me! Why am I even here Severus?”<br /><br />“Justin! I am not ashamed of you!” said Severus, not sure it was true. “I am ashamed of myself, for needing you, for wanting you, and yes, for loving you, as young and innocent as you were when I found you. People do not know our history, they do not know in what desperate straights I was and that it took a seventeen year old to give me back the will to live. I should have been stronger, I should not have fallen so low! It is me I am ashamed of, not you!”<br /><br />“Well. I am proud to be your lover! I don’t care what others think. You have a decision to make, Severus. Either you take me tomorrow, and let me take my rightful place at your side, to let the other teacher’s know that to be your friend, they have to accept me as part of the deal, or I will tell everyone myself. You hear me! Everyone!” He entered Severus’s bedroom, slamming the door behind him.<br /><br />Severus was stunned. How had things degenerated so quickly? For the past two weeks, Severus felt that though he was haunted at every turn by the spectre of a love he’d never know, he and Justin had made some headways, Justin less brash, Severus less demanding, Justin less childish, Severus more accepting. And now this?<br /><br />What the hell was he to do now?<br /><br />No matter what, his career, his life as he had known it were over. He would not bring Justin to his friend’s party, to be misjudged by his peers and thrown out of Hogwarts quietly for professional misconduct. He would not let Justin make him the target of ridicule by uncovering their affair to everyone, with the same, if more public, final result. <br /><br />For years he had been reviled. For years, he had been bitterly lonely and unhappy. This was the year when he was to reap a bit of joy, a bit of happiness as his reward. He had lowered his expectations, and accepted that all his dreams would not be coming true, but this? This he had not foreseen. Once again, he faced public scorn, once again he would live with disapproval and contempt. <br /><br />He was fucked if he did, and fucked if he didn’t, ruined either way.<br /><br />Well. So be it then. But that was tomorrow. Tonight, he would reach for a little of the joy and happiness he had deluded himself he deserved after all these years. He might leave in shame tomorrow, but not before having touched heaven at least once. He got up, and headed for The Three Broomsticks. He was very early for a Tuesday, but he needed to speak to Rosmerta.<br /><br />“Severus? What are you doing here so early?”<br /><br />“I want a room, Romy. And I want him, your mystery top.”<br /><br />“Severus…”<br /><br />“Romy, I know who it is, and… I love him. I’ve loved him for years. And he loves me. If circumstances were different, I would be the happiest of men, and I would give everything in my power to give to make him happy. But as you said, some people just never catch a break. I just want one night, just one beautiful night with the man I love. Tomorrow… May tomorrow never come.”<br /><br />“It was you? It was you who took the light out of this boy’s eyes? How? Why? No, don’t tell me. I don’t want to hear your excuses, I might empathize. There is only one thing for you to do Severus. Make it right. Don’t tell me you can’t. Just do it, whatever it takes. Here. Room eight. He’ll be there. Fix it. Now go. He and his friends get here early. Get out of the way.”<br /><br /><a href="http://snarryglompfest.dreamwidth.org/1061.html">GO TO CHAPTER FOUR</a><br /><br /><a href="http://snarryglompfest.livejournal.com/13763.html">COMMENT BACK AT LJ</a><br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarryglompfest&ditemid=976" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentstag:dreamwidth.org,2013-03-03:1978740:525snarryglompfest @ 2013-03-05T10:02:002013-03-04T21:42:31Z2013-03-05T19:49:05Zpublic0<b>Title:</b> Lost and Found<br /><b>Author:</b> Anonymous<br /><b>Prompt Number:</b> <br /><b>Rating:</b> NC17<br /><b>Word Count:</b> 77.4k (This part 24k)<br /><b>Warnings:</b> Adult language, Anal, Bottom!Snape, EWE, Minimal switching, Non-Snarry pairings, Oral, Original characters, Powerful!Harry , Rimming, Slash, Solo, Spanking, Top!Harry, Voyeurism, Water play (not graphic), Hm… I think that’s it… <br /><b>Summary:</b> Ridding the world of the Dark Lord has been the focus of Harry Potter and Severus Snape’s worlds for the greater part of their lives. Their identities were based on the roles they were called to play, and the sacrifices they had to make, to insure a victory for the Light. After the dust settles, both are faced with the task of finding out who they are when no longer a spy and a predestined pawn, and with going on with their lives to a future neither of them ever expected to have. But even once they work out what they need and what they want for their future, they still have to figure out how to get it, a task with which some will help, and that some would hinder.<br /><b>Author's Note:</b> I would like to thank my betas, <span style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='https://fancypantsdylan.dreamwidth.org/profile'><img src='https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png' alt='[personal profile] ' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: text-bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='https://fancypantsdylan.dreamwidth.org/'><b>fancypantsdylan</b></a></span> and <span style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='https://www.dreamwidth.org/profile?user=drarryxlover'><img src='https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png' alt='[profile] ' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: text-bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='https://www.dreamwidth.org/profile?user=drarryxlover'><b>drarryxlover</b></a></span>. Any remaining errors are mine, since I can never leave well enough alone… I had a story that had been screaming to be told if I was given the appropriate motivation. It was a lot of fun to write, though I was a bit surprised by the staggering amount of smut the tale thought it required… It also contains some hard-to-miss references to another fandom my beta and I sometime visit, though they will go completely unnoticed by the uninitiated. (More at the end). <br /><br /><a href="http://snarryglompfest.dreamwidth.org/490.html">LOST AND FOUND: CHAPTER ONE</a><br /><br />CHAPTER TWO<br /><br />Harry and Hermione talked all the way back from Hagrid’s about his advice. Hermione said it was very good. After all, Harry might now be reassured as to Snape’s sexual orientation, but what did Snape know of Harry’s? Gay men did not go around dressed in oversized shapeless clothes: Malfoy, Zabini, Finch-Fletchley, Seamus, all of them dressed really well, as did Julius Marchbanks, in Ravenclaw, with whom she had done a project at the beginning of the year and whom she was quite sure was gay too.<br /><br />“You need new clothes, anyway! You’re never going back to your aunt and uncle, and I’ve seen you in your skivvies. You’re hot, Harry. Get Snape to notice you, and maybe he will start to wonder about your inclinations, and see you as more than just a boy in one of his classes.”<br /><br />“I don’t want to be his boy-toy, Hermione!”<br /><br />“Yes, because I am sure he’s going to forget the past and what you have lived through, your courage, your intelligence, your perseverance, just because he notices he likes your arse. He knows you Harry. He just doesn’t see you’ve become a man while both your attentions were on the future of our world.”<br /><br />“I’ve never bought anything but school robes. How would I know what to get?”<br /><br />“I’m taking you to Diagon Alley tomorrow. We’re going shopping.”<br /><br />Their first stop was at Gringotts, where Hermione sent Harry back for a second bag of coins, though he had already filled the first one more than ever before. Then, she had one bag changed to Muggle money, and took Harry to Harrods’s men’s department. The young salesman who welcomed them, “Hello, I’m Casey. How can I be of help today?” made no secret of his sexual orientation, and was dressed to the nines. Hermione took things in hand.<br /><br />“My friend Harry,” she rolled her eyes at Harry who was trying to walk away and dragged him back, holding on to his belt, “Mr. Shy-boy here, is a gay man with the wardrobe of a troll. We live in a straight lace environment, but within conservative parameters, he needs to show off what he’s got, otherwise, he’ll never get laid. Help?”<br /><br />Harry thought he was going to die from embarrassment, especially when she added in a fake whisper, “His underwear is as bad as the rest. Start with that.”<br /><br />Casey hiked Harry’s pants up and cinched his baggy shirt to his body, to get an idea of his size and asked, “Boxers or briefs?”<br /><br />Red as a beet, Harry answered, “Boxers, please.”<br /><br />It wasn’t until Casey came back with a dozen boxes marked Calvin Klein and they had Harry cornered in the changing room that Hermione let go of his belt.<br /><br />He yelped when all the clothes he had removed flew under the door, obeying a discreet “Accio, Dudley’s old duds.”<br /><br />“Hermione! Give me my clothes back!”<br /><br />“Oops, to late! I just banished them!”<br /><br />“Where to?”<br /><br />“A garbage can at the train station…”<br /><br />“Hermione!”<br /><br />“Have you got the underwear on?”<br /><br />“…Yes.”<br /><br />“Well?”<br /><br />After a moment of silence, Harry chuckled and admitted, “I look fucking hot Hermione!”<br /><br />“Let me see, let me see, let me see!!!”<br /><br />“You’re a girl!”<br /><br />“And you’re a poof, and I know it, and I’m in love with your best friend! <i>Let me see!!!</i>”<br /><br />Oh, well, she had a point. He opened the door and stepped out a little. <br /><br />“Holy Mary, Mother of God!” Exclaimed Casey who had just walked back in, his arms full of clothes. “You are lucky you brought your fag hag for protection, because I would definitely be attempting to molest you otherwise. You gorgeous fool! Why have you been hiding that body?”<br /><br />Harry blushed but smiled and asked teasingly. “Molest me? Really? What would that consist of?”<br /><br />Casey finished hanging the garments and whispered in his ear, “I would fall on my knees and worship your cock until you came so hard you’d see stars…”<br /><br />Harry immediately regretted asking, because his cock went from semi soft to hard as a Beater’s bat in about twelve seconds. Hermione seeing him in glove tight underwear was one thing. Her seeing him with a huge hard on was definitely another... <br /><br />But when she said, “I’ll go to the shoe department real quick and bring you back something to try your trousers with,” he was not as relieved as he thought he would be, considering the smile on Casey’s face.<br />Before he had a chance to protest, she was gone and Casey was closing the door to the changing room. He wanted to tell him he’d only been teasing, that he was in love with another man, that… but before he had a chance to say anything, his cock was in Casey’s warm wet mouth and he realized that when he had tried to imagine what a blow job would feel like he had been ridiculously short of the mark.<br /><br />It felt so fucking good. Better than good. Oh, god, so much better than good, good was bad. This was fucking heaven, nirvana and cloud nine all at once, wrapped in bliss and covered in paradise sauce. This was… He stopped thinking, and became one with his cock, and he came and came and came seeing not only stars, but whole galaxies, parallel universes and their stars and galaxies. He slid along the wall and landed on his arse, across a smiling Casey who was wiping his hand and tucking his own spend cock back in his pants.<br /><br />Harry looked at him, and said with feelings, “Thank you. That was amazing.”<br /><br />Casey laughed. “The pleasure was mine,” he said. <br /><br />He stood up and helped Harry to his feet. As he tucked a still wobbly Harry in, he said, “Come on gorgeous, let’s get you dressed.”<br /><br />Harry entrusted his new Muggle wardrobe to him, and when Hermione came back with four pairs of boots, let the two of them decide which were best. He only gave his opinion as to colour choices, a definite no to all reds, which he hated despite being in Gryffindor, but yes to light green, turquoise and indigo. <br /><br />They left the store with underwear by Calvin Klein and Bikkemberg; jeans, two blue 501’s and one black Armani; long sleeve Boss t-shirts in all three colours; silk and ultra thin linen button downs by Gucci and Dior; a gorgeous dark grey Zegna suit with a snow white shirt and a Hermes peacock tie; and ankle boots by Lanvin and Prada. Harry had asked why Casey always told him the name of the designer, as if it was as important as the fact that it fit, and Casey had just shaken his head, telling him he was “so, so cute.”<br /><br />The fat roll of Muggle bills was almost gone. Unbelievable. Harry was ready to go back to Hogwarts, but Hermione was determined, and off they when to Madam Malkin's, for wizard wear. Hermione whispered something to the woman, and a few minutes later, Ernie McMillan’s older brother Earl came out of the back to help Harry, so he would not have to wait while Madam Malkin's took care of Arlissa Kingsley who was purchasing clothes to appear at her husband many official functions.<br /><br />Earl had been working in design, tailoring and fitting for three years now, and loved it. He knew exactly what Harry needed… Dress robes, semi casual robes, and of course the trousers, vests and shirts to go with them. Harry actually enjoyed this part of the shopping better, because he loved the materials and the colours, and the very comfortable though incredibly fitted Wizard trousers, with stirrups that went under the sole of the boots to hold them in perfect position. He also bought a cloak made of cashmere wool, with hidden pockets, protective charms, and a water repellent charm already included in the fibres, the material and the finished garment.<br /><br />For a small fee, all the Muggle clothes he had just purchased were spelled to fit to perfection, and a hidden wand and secret pockets added.<br /><br />His bag of coins was much lighter when he left the store, but he did have apparation coordinates to Earl’s apartment and a tentative date for three days hence.<br /><br />“Are you going to go?” asked Hermione, when he told her.<br /><br />“I’m not sure. I don’t think it would hurt to have some experience if I ever manage to convince Snape to give me a chance. I’ve never even kissed a bloke before. I don’t know. What do you think?”<br /><br />“My cousin Justin’s first time was with his older boyfriend, but he said it was just luck, that they are still together because sex between them is unbelievable, and not because of his lost virginity. When they became serious, his boyfriend wanted him to reserve bottoming for him only, so when he screws around, he tops everyone else. He said a lot of guys attach some importance to the first time they bottom, but that topping is a lot more like a blow job or a hand shake. It means nothing. He said that being a great fuck is way more important for gays than being a virgin. But that’s one guy’s opinion, and he’s an American Muggle, so I’m not sure…”<br /><br />“Well, that’s more than I know. From a gut feeling, it actually sounds right, besides which, knowing that Snape might never give me the time a day, I should probably not save myself for him...”<br /><br />They travelled back from the Leaky Cauldron to the Three Broomsticks by floo because it was too far for Hermione to apparate, and walked back to Hogwarts. Harry was worn out. Hermione helped him carry his many bags and parcels to his room, and before he had a chance to say anything, banished every stitch of clothing he possessed previously to the same garbage can as before. Harry was annoyed, but grateful too. <br /><br />Now he had no other choice but to embrace his new image. Hermione yawned and admitted to being tired as well, and they both decided to take a nap, Hermione curling up on Ron’s old bed, which had remained though it’s owner was gone.<br /><br />Neville woke them both up for dinner. When Harry stood up, in 501’s, with a muscle shirt and a thin linen button down left open, he looked him up and down and said, “Wow, you look really good Harry. If you start dressing like that, Professor Snape is bound to notice you!”<br /><br />Harry panicked. “What do you mean, Neville?”<br /><br />“Oh, don’t worry,” Neville hurried to reassure him. “I only mentioned it because it’s just the three of us. But you know Luna, she seems out of touch, but she sees more than anyone else. When I got upset last year that Ginny was flirting with Michael, she told me not too feel bad for you because you were gay anyway, and this year, she said you fell in love with Professor Snape. She wouldn’t tell anyone else, but with her being my wife, she tells me, obviously.”<br /><br />“Wait, wait, wait! You and Luna are <i>married</i>?” asked Harry disbelieving.<br /><br />“Yeah. We love each other, and it’s meant to be, you know? We did it last June, with no fuss. A friend of my Gran officiated, and my Gran and Luna’s dad were witnesses. We both knew when she came back from the Malfoys that we’d be together forever. Why wait? Life’s too short not to enjoy its blessings, you know?”<br /><br />“But you still live in the dorms!”<br /><br />Neville blushed. “The room of requirement is working again, and it always liked me. We spend a lot of time there…”<br /><br />Hermione sighed dramatically. “Harry, I’m starting to feel we are the only virgins left on earth.” She grinned at him. “I don’t know about you, but I’m all for changing that.”<br /><br />“Me too. I took the first step: I got a blowjob this morning.”<br /><br />“You did?” said Neville. “Aren’t they great? Luna gives the best blowjobs. She does that awesome thing <br />with her tongue…”<br /><br />“Neville! Neville! Too much information!” said Hermione.<br /><br />“Oh. Sorry Hermione. I’ll shut up now,” said Neville, smirking.<br /><br />“Neville,” asked Hermione. “When did you get so evil?”<br /><br />“Fabulous sex will do that to a guy,” he replied and then ducked as she threw a pillow at him. “Come on, you two, let’s go eat!”<br /><br />Neville was not the only one who liked Harry’s new look. Seamus proposed they all go to the Three Broomstick that evening for some fun, to celebrate not having a roommate who dressed like a troll anymore. It was as good an excuse as any, and they all seconded the idea. By the end of dinner, with Dean telling his girlfriend Susan and Lavender telling her boy friend Ted Nott, all the students who were of age and allowed off ground knew of the outing. As Harry was leaving the great hall, Draco Malfoy fell into step with him.<br /><br />“Potter, love the new clothes, love your arse in the new clothes. Now that it’s not embarrassing to be seen with you, I might even be talked into considering joining the Hogwarts’ contingent at the local pub this evening.”<br /><br />Harry felt bad that Draco was unsure of his welcome. He knew he’d been ostracized by a lot of the Slytherins, and his past behaviour had not exactly endeared him to many. Harry felt they had come to some kind of understanding at some point, and being paired with him for DADA on a regular basis had helped him appreciate Draco’s intelligence and humour.<br /><br />“Is my arse nice enough for you to sit next to me and give me a run down on gay etiquette in the Wizarding world?” asked Harry, knowing he was taking a risk, giving such potentially dangerous information to the archetypal Slytherin.<br /><br />Draco’s usually controlled face registered shock, appreciation of Harry’s trust, and respect for his willingness to risk his reputation to extend a hand in friendship. Soon enough though, the usual smirk was back in place. “Is said magnificent arse on offer then?”<br /><br />Harry batted his eyelashes. “No, gentle sir. I am saving myself for true love…” <br /><br />Draco laughed. “Does it count if I’d truly love to fuck you?”<br /><br />“Draco, outside of peeves, is there anyone in the castle you wouldn’t truly love to fuck?”<br /><br />Without a second of hesitation, Draco started a list. “Filtch, Pince, the various ectoplasms, Hagrid, the house elves, the first, second and third years, Parkinson, Midgen, Creevey, and Goyle. Hmm… I think that’s it.”<br /><br />Harry was laughing the whole time. He questioned, “Flitwick?”<br /><br />Malfoy smirked. “A Charming little fellow. No objection whatsoever.”<br /><br />“Vector?”<br /><br />“Harry, you cannot say no to a hundred and ten years of experience!”<br /><br />“McGonagall?”<br /><br />“I bet when she let that hair down she’s a tigress in bed.”<br /><br />Harry was laughing too hard to question him any further. They bumped shoulders, and went their separate ways.<br /><br />It was as if Harry’s confiding his sexual orientation to him had erased the last stumbling block for he and Draco to start their relationship anew. That night at the pub, their continuous banter had everyone in stitches. Ron was able to join them after work and soon, he too started joking around with Draco as if the previous seven years of near hatred had never happened. <br /><br />Harry loved his new skin. He’d never realized how insecure his ridiculous clothing had made him feel. Michael Corner had been unable to come, and Ginny had sat next to him, and was flirting with him, though they both knew it was for fun. But having the attention of the two most beautiful people in the room felt really, really good.<br /><br />When Harry asked Draco to get up so he could go use the facilities, Draco quietly warned him that some guy might follow him and offer him a blow job, a hand job, or even sex. He told him to be really clear about what he agreed to before following someone in a stall, because then the guy would always stick to the agreement. If he left things vague, then it was a free for all.<br /><br />Harry said, “I’ve used the head here a hundred times. I’ve never been propositioned!”<br /><br />“Ah!” said Draco with a grin, “but it was not Tuesday night, and you didn’t look like that!”<br /><br />Harry shook his head. “We need to talk.”<br /><br />Harry went to the facilities and used the urinals. Three other men had entered the men’s room after him, and did the same. Harry had the strange feeling there was some kind of communication between them. <br /><br />Though most Death Eaters were dead or in Azkaban, a few had escaped capture. He washed his hands, and noted in the mirror that there was definitely some silent interaction between the men. After he dried his hand, his wand silently slid from the pocket in his sleeve into his hand. He turned around, ready for anything.<br /><br />Well, ready for anything except for one of the man saying with a hungry smile, “All three of us would love to suck your cock, green eyes, or whatever else you’d like. Choose one?”<br /><br />Fuck! Draco had not been talking nonsense. What should he do? Brief thoughts popped into his head, helpfully. He remembered the amazing blowjob experience that morning. He remembered feeling Snape’s door was about to close in his face and not knowing what to do, he remembered the conversation with Hermione. He saw himself knowledgeable and self assured doing what Casey had done to him that morning: not giving Snape time to say no before drowning him in pleasure so sharp he could only say yes.<br /><br />One of them was a tall lean brunet with burning dark eyes and very white teeth. Harry smiled at him and paid heed to Draco’s instructions. “You. Mutual hand jobs and kissing, yeah?”<br /><br />The man he’d picked smiled a brilliant smile. “Oh, yeah.” and they entered a stall together.<br /><br />Harry heard one of the other man say, “Fuck me, prepared with a spell and lot’s of lube?”<br /><br />“Biting?”<br /><br />“No blood, no marks”<br /><br />“All right…” and the door to another stall opened.<br /><br />Harry’s tall companion asked, “Do you want to put on the locking and silencing charm or shall I?”<br />Who ever put them up could drop them. Harry’s wand was already in his hand so he cast Silencio, as well as several privacy charms, locking charms and wards. His companion chuckled, “Well, at least we’re safe…” and Harry realized it had been a little bit of an overkill, but he just smiled and raised his fringe. <br /><br />“Some of us need more privacy than others.” Better tell the man and obliviate him, than hope the stranger did not know who he was and read the whole sordid story in the Prophet tomorrow.<br /><br />“Harry Potter? Fuck! You’re going to obliviate me , aren’t you... Shit.” He looked genuinely disappointed, as if he’d really wanted to remember this. Then he smiled and got out his wand, extending it handle first to Harry. “I give you my wizard’s oath I will never speak a word to anyone, nor write about anywhere, nor in any other way communicate to anyone what took place between us this evening.” <br /><br />Harry smiled back at him, accepting the man’s solution. “I accept your wizard’s oath.” He grasped the handle of the wand, and a ribbon of light came out of the tip, wrapping itself around the tall man’s head, covering his mouth and around both his hands, before disappearing.<br /><br />“Thanks,” said Harry.<br /><br />“I don’t want to be with you because of who you are,” said the man, cupping Harry’s cheek with a long fingered hand. “I’m here because all evening I thought that you were the most attractive man I had seen in a long while as you sat between your two good looking friends, and because when you walked to the loo, with your easy athletic gate, your body was as appealing as your face.” <br /><br />He kissed Harry’s mouth lightly, his own mouth warm and soft.<br /><br />“What’s your name?” whispered Harry against his lips.<br /><br />“Marcus.”<br /><br />“Kiss me, Marcus.”<br /><br />And so he did. It was slow and tender, yet there was no doubt in his mind that Harry was kissing a man. <br /><br />It did not have the softness of Ginny small pointy tongue and her timid caresses. There was a bit of stubble to be felt when Harry ran his tongue on the lower lip, the mouth was larger, more possessive, and Harry was on his toes, looking up at his partner. The kiss was lovely, and terribly arousing, the body he was pressed against nice and hard. Marcus put both his hands behind Harry’s head, cradling it and deepened the kiss, changing its tenor to one of desire and raw eroticism, his arousal hard and hot against Harry’s flat stomach.<br /><br />He backed up and looked in Harry’s eyes. “Fuck, you taste so good I just want to devour you,” he said. <br />Kissing him again, he ran his hands all the way down Harry’s body until he got to his trousers to unbuttoned them, push them down along with the new underwear to mid thigh. Harry did the same, except that Marcus was going commando under his traditional trousers.<br /><br />The man’s cock was hard, heavy and alive in Harry’s hand. It felt hot to the touch, and hardened further as soon as Harry caressed it lightly with the tips of his fingers. Harry was shocked by how turned on he was from holding another man’s hard cock in his hand. He backed slightly away from the kiss and looked down. He was surprised that Marcus’s penis was about the same size as his. It felt bigger. The sight of the dark red head with a drop of fluid oozing out of the slit above his loose fist made him literally moan with need.<br /><br />Marcus looked down as well, as he wrapped his long fingers around Harry’s cock.<br /><br />“You feel good in my hand,” he said.<br /><br />“Fuck, your hand feels great on my cock,” replied Harry, breathing fast, closing his eyes a moment so as not to embarrass himself by coming even before things started in earnest.<br /><br />He whined when Marcus let go of his cock to get his wand out, but had his own wand pointing at the man’s throat before even thinking about it.<br /><br />“Shh, it’s all right, Shh,” said Marcus, pushing away Harry’s wand as if he was reassuring a skittish horse. “I’m not pointing it at you, it’s all right Harry, shhh.” Harry relaxed his defensive stance, and Marcus smiled, before casting a spell Harry had never heard (Escalatus?) and transfiguring the commode into a four inches high platform. When Harry stepped on it, they were face to face, exactly the same height.<br /><br />Marcus’s right hand was back on Harry’s cock, and the left was behind his neck. Harry cast a wandless and wordless Lubricus that got both their palms deliciously slippery, and Marcus moaned his approval into Harry’s mouth. Harry was thinking another man’s hand jerking him off was about twenty times better than doing it himself, especially while the man kissed the hell out of him, when Marcus did something genius. <br />He put their cocks together with both their right hands working them and the feeling was extraordinary. <br /><br />They interlaced their fingers and formed a tight tunnel, and both were pumping their hips and fucking it. With his other hand, Marcus was playing with Harry’s nipples and <i>that</i> was something he never would have thought could be so unbelievably pleasurable. Harry allowed himself to explore his companion’s firm and lightly furred arse, running inquisitive fingers along the rhythmically contracting muscles, the warm crease, the pucker which tensed and relaxed at his touch, causing Marcus to moan into Harry’s mouth, then throw his head back away from the kiss to cry out and come when Harry breached him.<br /><br />The warmth of Marcus’s cum, the lost look on his face, the pulsing of his cock and the involuntary tightening of their linked hands pushed Harry over the edge, his cum a geyser that landed mostly all over Marcus chest except for a few drops that made it to his chin.<br /><br />They rested their foreheads on each other’s shoulders, hearts and breaths erratic. Harry was feeling guilty about the mess he’d made of the man so he cast a wandless, wordless cleaning spell.<br /><br />“Wow. Well done,” said Marcus, without moving.<br /><br />“The cleaning spell or the hand job?” Asked Harry, chuckling.<br /><br />“I think it was pretty clear how I felt about the hand job,” answered Marcus with a smile in his voice. <br /><br />“I can’t cast anything wandless. Your magic must be pretty strong.” They had both almost caught their breaths when he chortled. “Oh, Merlin. You must think I’m such an idiot. <i>Your magic must be pretty strong</i>. I forgot. Harry Fucking Potter! You did get that order of Merlin for your cleaning spells, right?”<br /><br />They both cracked up. Harry really liked the fact that this man didn’t care who he was. It was refreshing. They rubbed their five o’clock shadows together, then found each other’s mouths again, and enjoyed kissing for a while. Then they both straightened out their clothes and got ready to return to the pub.<br /><br />“We’re good together. I’d love for you to fuck me sometime,” said Marcus.<br /><br />“I’ve never tried penetrative sex. I’d be worried about hurting you,” said Harry, honestly.<br /><br />“If you want to bottom first to see how it’s done, you’ll have to talk to someone else. I don’t top. But if you don’t mind me giving you pointers as we fuck, I’d be game. I love the way you move.”<br /><br />“I’ll think about it. How would I find you?”<br /><br />“Here, on Tuesdays. We could floo back to my place.” He kissed Harry again. “You are a fantastic kisser.”<br /><br />Harry smiled at him. “Thanks. You’re not so bad yourself.”<br /><br />They left the stall. Marcus went back to use the urinals, and Harry rejoined his friends. Draco and Angus were coming back from the outside, red cheeked and laughing. Hermione and Ron were in an animated discussion with Seamus. <br /><br />“…But then I got the letter from St Mungo’s,” Seamus was saying. “I floo-called Sean right away, but he already had had the work done. I felt bad, but he said he would put the place up for rent and recoup his investment in six months, and then make money on it, so I shouldn’t worry about it. We were both looking forward to living in the same house again, but he knows mediwizardry is really what I want, and he’s happy for me.”<br /><br />“What are you blabbering on about, Finnegan?” asked Draco, rude out of habit. <br /><br />“Oh, fuck off, Malfoy,” Seamus responded to the rudeness, but then he answered the question anyway, because like the others, he had realized in the past few months that Draco wasn’t as bad as all that. <br /><br />“I’d applied at St Mungo’s, but they didn’t answer for the longest time, so I was going to go for Charms at Cambridge. Me brother’s getting his doctorate in mathematics there (He’s a Muggle like me Dad, you see.). He’s a wife and two bairns, but I hardly know them, because he got hitched after I started Hogwarts. He owns a house close to campus and he said he’d have his attic made into a one-bedroom apartment for me. Of course three weeks later, I got me letter.”<br /><br />“Do you know if he has rented it yet? Because Blaise is looking for a place for him and Justin, and you know how it is, they can’t rent from magical folks. You should tell him about it. I bet he’d be interested.”<br /><br />“Well, Draco Malfoy! Did you just, for a few minutes, think about someone else beside yourself? I’m shocked!” said Harry, teasing.<br /><br />“You lot are a terrible influence. That, two firewhiskies and the afterglow of a good shag, and I’m turning benevolent. I may have to kill myself,” Malfoy replied, downing a third firewhisky, “or accept it for what it probably was: a momentary possession by the spirit of some long dead Hufflepuff.” <br /><br />They all laughed, and Draco smiled at Harry. He was amazingly gorgeous, really, and though Harry didn’t find his ethereal beauty a turn on, he could appreciate it. <br /><br />Harry walked home soon after with Seamus and Julius. Seamus sang this amazing Irish ballad on the way back. He had a fabulous voice. The song was about longing and sorrow and unrequited love, and Harry thought about Snape the whole time. Between the alcohol he was unaccustomed to and the singing, he was turning into a maudlin mess. Shaking himself, he decided he must have been possessed by the same long dead Hufflepuff spirit as Draco earlier.<br /><br />He started to think about what to wear the next day since Snape would be at breakfast. Prancing and showing his horn and hoping Snape would be attracted like a bee to nectar… <br /><br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_</center><br /><br />School was in session again, and Severus had not found a convenient excuse to be alone with Justin Finch-Fletchley. He was practically sure the young man was his secret correspondent and had been discreetly observing him whenever the occasion presented itself. Justin was tall, well built, had a charming smile, blue eyes and curly light brown hair with blond highlights. He had large hands with very long fingers, and spoke with the clipped English accent of the Muggle upper class. His wardrobe was only bested by Draco Malfoy’s and screamed of money and privilege, yet he had none of Draco’s superior attitude.<br /><br />He was popular, confident, though only a slightly better than average student. In DADA, he seemed to enjoy the duelling but he was not particularly gifted at it, and his magic was not remarkable in any way. <br /><br />It was lunchtime and since he had the seventh year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuff at the end of the day, Severus was considering possible means by which he could get Justin to his quarters. He was distracted by the arrival of the seventh year Gryffindors, who seemed of late to be in very high spirits. Amidst the crowd, joking around with Granger and his red headed girlfriend was Potter. <br /><br />For the past two weeks, Potter had adopted a completely new style of dress. Severus could not believe the fuss it had created. Who cared if Potter went from having the most appalling wardrobe to suddenly showing amazing style and taste, and, granted, an amazing body, as well? Every morning, there were endless comments about his outfit, and whether it was nicer than the one the day before, and that, <i>at the teacher’s table!</i> It was ridiculous.<br /><br />The young man had missed breakfast that morning, which he had done a couple of times of late, so it was the first chance most of them had to see yet another sample of Harry’s seemingly bottomless new wardrobe. <br />His beautifully cut new school robes were open on wizard wear today. (That was Severus’s personal preference, though without the robes, the boy’s arse in jeans was nothing short of sin. Both of them had been at the Three Broomstick again on Tuesday, Potter with his two best friends and Severus in his dark corner. Potter had worn black jeans with grey long sleeve t-shirt and had looked to die for.) <br /><br />Potter was wearing black wizard trousers, the way only narrow hipped and long legged men could wear them, a snow white collared shirt with his Gryffindor tie, and a velvet vest in faded gold tones with black embroidery. The vest emphasized the V shape of his torso, and the robes’ cut, the width of his shoulder. He heard Sinistra wonder to the new Potion Professor, whatever his name was, what the black embroidery was of, Snitches? Snape wanted to shred the idiot woman with a few chosen words off his razor sharp tongue.<br /><br />First of all, it was obvious to anyone with decent eyesight and a minimum of imagination that the pattern of the embroidery was that of a murder of crows taking flight, and second, who in Merlin’s name could care about the embroidery of the vest when given a chance to stare at the play of the lean, long muscles of the man’s thighs (and perhaps, inadvertently at the titillating silhouette of his noteworthy package), moulded to perfection by the cut of the wizard pants?<br /><br />Finally, why should a teacher pay any attention at all to what a student was wearing, and make it a topic of conversation at the teacher’s table? Sinistra was out of control…<br /><br />The occasion he had been waiting for finally presented itself that day in DADA. They were studying <br />counter curses as an alternative to a broad shield, in a way to preserve one’s magical energy in a duel.<br />Justin (That’s how Severus now thought of him in his mind), asked, if there were known instances of wizards using only counter curses against several opponents and still carrying the day. Which of course there were, of which Severus could have given dozen of examples off the top of his head, including Potter in class the week before, facing Nott, Finnegan and the younger Greengrass girl. <br /><br />Instead, he replied, “A good question Mr. Finch-Fletchley. If this is a topic of particular interest to you, you may borrow one of my books about it.” Justin had looked very surprised, but had just said “Thank you, Professor.”<br /><br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_</center><br /><br />Justin Finch-Fletchley was walking to Professor’s Snape’s quarters. He wondered what the man wanted. Not too long ago he had spoken to Blaise and then written him a letter of recommendation, though he had tried to push him to go for an apprenticeship instead of a university education. Blaise was one of Snape’s Slytherin. Justin didn’t really believe the man had just decided to loan him a book on a whim. He was probably going to talk to him about what would be best for Blaise.<br /><br />Justin did not really care what would be best for Blaise’s education. Blaise’s mother was richer than god, and not so young anymore. Blaise was her only heir. At some point, they would be inheriting more money than they could spend in a lifetime. No way was Justin was letting Blaise out of his sight.<br /><br />Snape, after class had said to come by at eight. Justin knocked on the door thirteen minutes early. Being early had a lot of advantages. It took some of the control out of Snape’s hand and made up a little for the fact that they were meeting on Snape’s turf. It took a while for the Professor to come to the door, and then, he let Justin in and left him alone for a moment, saying, ”I’ll be right back.”<br /><br />It was obvious the man had just taken a shower, and he had probably just thrown on a robe to open the door. Now he had to go back, get dressed, dry his hair, and so on. Justin could count on at least five minutes alone. As soon as Snape disappeared, Justin took a look around, searching for information that might give him the upper hand in the coming conversation. Snape’s desk. He was quite sure the thing was secure, but he knew a very handy charm he’d learned from the first Slytherin who had fucked him, when he was hardly fourteen. It had been his first lover’s family’s secret.<br /><br />He got out his wand, and cast the charm that made the top of the desk transparent, giving him a view of the contents of Snape’s drawer. There was a note, creased in half, but opened.<br /><br /><font face="Mistral">Git,</font> it said,<br /><font face="Mistral">Far from me to use your given name once denied the familiarity!<br />Dictaquills offer a wide range of possible calligraphy, the cursive you obviously thought of as feminine being only one of them. I hope this new handwriting will leave you in no doubt as to my gender. <br />The amazing thing about students is that, once they sit their NEWTs, they are students no more.<br />Hopefully it is something we can both look forward to.<br />Respectfully yours.</font><br /><br />There was a list of the seventh year boys’ names, and some were circled. Of these, only his was not struck through the middle. All the boys whose names were circled were gay or bisexual. Justin automatically noted that there were three missing. Zachariah Smith, Harry Potter, and Draco Malfoy. But anyway, it looked as if Snape was searching for the author of the note.<br /><br />Then there was the Hogwarts rules and regulations notebook, opened on the paragraph requiring discretion from both parties when a teacher and an adult student were having a relationship. Justin cancelled the charm, and sat down in a chair in front of the fire.<br /><br />He’d been wrong. Snape did not know he was involved with Blaise. He was looking for his secret and obviously infatuated correspondent, hoping to start an affair.<br /><br />What would be the advantages of fucking Snape? Discretion would mean he could probably still carry on with Blaise. Snape was probably a hell of a fuck: he was, after all, an expert at everything he did. The man was a war hero, with huge influence. He was also probably the heir to the Prince estate, and rumour had it that he’d been Dumbledore’s heir as well. His net worth was probably a matter of public record. <br />Justin would have to investigate. Snape could help Justin in his academic career, be his influential mentor and possibly, even, his sugar daddy. By the time Snape came back, Justin had already decided how to handle the situation.<br /><br />“Sorry to have made you wait. The book I spoke of is on…”<br /><br />“Does the fact you brought me to your inner sanctum mean I now do have leave to call you Severus? I like <br />it so much better than “Git”,” said Justin with a seductive smile.<br /><br />Snape’s expression changed from completely neutral to one of pleasure. “So, it was you.”<br /><br />“I was wondering if you’d ever guess.” He walked towards Snape, invading his personal space, whispering in his ear. “You smell great.” Then he dragged his lips along Snape’s jaw, getting the man to shiver, and fell on his knees, unbuttoning his robes and his placket, and looking up.<br /><br />“I should have jumped you when you opened the door and saved us some time…”<br /><br />Snape’s cock was hardening fast, and the man might be an ugly and sour bastard, but his dick was gorgeous. Justin shivered with anticipation of having that up his arse.<br /><br />“Justin, wait, you don’t have to… umph!” For now, he concentrated on giving the man the blowjob of his life. He had plenty of experience with that, and thought he was particularly good at it. Snape, in the afterglow, would probably give him more of the information he needed to pass for whomever it was who had sent him that note. Justin’s money was on Malfoy, but the more he knew, the better.<br /><br />Soon enough, Snape was coming in his mouth, and though it was totally disgusting, Justin swallowed as if it was nectar. Next, he stood up, and closing his eyes and concentrating on Malfoy’s gorgeous face, kissed the daylights out of the old man.<br /><br />“Ahh,” he said, finally looking at Snape. “I’ve been dreaming of doing this for so long…”<br /><br />“And how long is so long?” asked the smiling Potion Master. <br /><br />“That shall remain my secret for now,” said Justin teasingly. “So, no more objection about cavorting with students?” He was taking a chance, but that was a pretty easy deduction to make from the note he had read.<br /><br />“It seemed quite clear from your notes that this was something you wished. You saved my life, Justin, my sanity. Why wait to give you what you want in return when I owe you so much?”<br /><br />Snape kissed him. He wasn’t half bad really. As long as Justin kept his eyes closed, he could do this. Especially if it meant getting that beautiful cock in his arse. The thought of it got him nice and hard, and he rubbed his hard-on against Snape’s hip.<br /><br />“Will you give me everything I want?” he asked with a purr.<br /><br />Snape resumed the kiss, and his hand went to Justin’s cock, caressing it in the most delicious way through his clothes.<br /><br />“Everything… I have been dangerously daydreaming while teaching you in DADA, about <i>this</i> sliding inside me, about you fucking me into the mattress…”<br /><br />Oh, fuck! Snape was a bottom? Justin hardly ever topped… Most guys wanted to, and he ‘let’ them, a double win for him, because they felt they owed him, and he only really enjoyed bottoming. Oh, well, he’d done it before, he could do it again, and there was that great charm to prepare and lubricate an arse. No way was he putting his fingers in Snape’s hole. He shivered in disgust, and Snape actually thought it was in anticipation. With a smile, he held Justin’s hand and took him to his bedroom.<br /><br />They undressed themselves, smiling at each other. What a weird expression to see on Snape’s face… Oh god. The man was a scarecrow, thin, with wiry muscles and a lot of jutting bones, pallid skin with completely black hair, the contrast totally weird. And there was that hideous thing on his arm. Draco at least had the decency to wear a glamour over his, for Merlin’s sake. <br /><br />He and Snape fell on to the bed. Draco’s cock, Draco fabulous body, Draco’s vicious toping… Justin concentrated on the blond so as not to lose his erection. Silly Blaise rimming him, worshiping his hole with love. Blaise sliding inside of him, so thankful he sometimes had tears in his eyes, Blaise screaming his name as he came... Eyes closed, Justin sighed with pleasure at the hand job he was getting. Snape did know what he was about…<br /><br />He rolled the man over onto his belly, saying, “I can’t wait anymore…” grabbed his wand, and cast the charm on the bony arse, and closed his eyes again as he pushed himself in, imagining it was Potter’s perfect bottom he was sliding into. Oh fuck, it felt so fucking good… Snape moaned and pushed back so Justin’s cock was suddenly buried to the balls in tight, hot, slick pleasure as a vision of Potter’s arse filled his head, and he came with a jerk, shivering and breaking out in sweat.<br /><br />Snape moved again, intent on fucking himself on Justin, but Justin’s dick had already shrunk and slipped out shamefully. Fuck! He hated toping! The pressure, the responsibility!<br /><br />“Oh, Merlin, I’m sorry, you felt so good, I’ve wanted this for so long, I just… Oh fuck. I’m sorry…” he lamented trying to save face. Snape turned over and smiled.<br /><br />“Don’t worry. It’s rather flattering, really. Come here…” He held Justin to his skinny chest and petted his hair. Justin wanted to run out of there screaming, but he closed his eyes again and thought of Draco. <br /><br />“Don’t worry about it. You are seventeen. I’m sure the next round is not too far off…” said Snape. What? He expected <i>another round?</i> Justin chuckled in agreement as he started thinking fast of a way to get out of there.<br /><br />Luckily, McGonagall’s voice rang into the sitting room, from the floo.<br /><br />“Severus? Severus?”<br /><br />Snape whispered a quick apology, put on a dressing gown and went to answer the call of the headmistress. “Minerva. What can I do for you?<br /><br />“Oh, Severus, I’m sorry. I did not think you might be in bed already. Something is hiding inside the Hufflepuff girls’ third year dormitory, in the window seat and I just don’t think it’s a boggart. I was hopping you could take a look and get rid of whatever it is. The girls are absolutely hysterical and are keeping the whole house up.”<br /><br />“Not a problem, Minerva. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”<br /><br />“Thank you, Severus.”<br /><br />Snape came back into his bedroom and gave Justin a kiss. “I’m sorry to have to shorten our evening. Duty calls. You should probably head back to your dormitory.”<br /><br />He looked as if he was hoping Justin would argue with him and stay. Yeah, right. “As long as you promise I can come back soon. I can do better, I swear…”<br /><br />Snape kissed him again, (God! Did he have to do that constantly?) and chuckled. “I’m sure you can, and I cannot wait for you to show me. I know you are busy with your NEWTS. Just come back when you can…”<br /><br />Snape kissed him again and went into the bathroom. Justin was dressed in record time and ran out the door. He practically ran all the way back to his room (he was a prefect), and grabbed his towel and toiletries. He actually used the dorm showers he was so eager for a wash. He brushed his teeth under the spray, and after coming out of the shower, rinsed his mouth with his minty mouthwash.<br /><br />Snape had not tasted bad or anything. It was just the thought of it. He needed a fuck in a big way. He used his minuscule fireplace to send a red flare to the Slytherins’ common room’s fireplace, he and Draco’s special signal, and headed to the empty classroom on the ground floor that they always used. He had just finished transfiguring the teacher’s desk into a mattress when Draco showed up, locked and warded the door and started to strip.<br /><br />“Get naked and lie back, Fletch, I’m in the middle of a review session, and I don’t have time for bullshit.”<br /><br />Even though he knew Draco did not return his feelings, the blond boy’s attitude still smarted, but he did as he was told, because he knew what came after was always extraordinary. He drank in Draco’s ethereal beauty, the perfection of his golden body, the magnificence of his pink prick, and almost cried in disappointment when Draco used the spell he himself had used on Snape. He so loved Draco’s fingers inside him…<br /><br />But the next moment, Draco was pushing into him, rough and relentless, pulling a grown of pain from him at the sudden invasion, and he almost came it hurt so good. Draco fucked him, hard, deep and fast, staring down at him. “Play with my nipples,” he ordered, and Justin did, roughly caressing the pink aureole with his callused thumb, pinching the hard tip gently, just the way Draco liked it. “Jerk off, I’m going to come.” Justin took himself in hand, and started masturbating, his strokes matching Draco’s rhythm. <br /><br />Finally, finally! Draco changed his angle to touch Justin’s prostate, and Justin was so grateful to his blond god he could have cried. A dozen thrusts and he was coming, calling out Draco’s name, whispering, “I love you, I love you, I love you…” Draco shuddered and his thrusts became erratic as he came, deep inside Justin. <br /><br />Draco pulled out, did a cleaning spell on himself and said, “Save the love bullshit for Blaise, will you, <br />Fletch? That man thinks the sun rises and sets with you. By the way, this was our last fuck. Blaise is my friend, and it doesn’t seem that he’s ever going to see you as the little gold digger you are. He genuinely cares about you. You obviously don’t think anything of cheating on him, but I won’t be a party to it anymore. Besides, you’re not that good a fuck. See you around.” Draco left.<br /><br />Justin curled up on the mattress and let his tears fall. Draco had ended it. After five years of hopeless infatuation, three years of baseless hope, Justin finally had to face what he’d known all along. Draco did not love him, did not even like him, and would never be his.<br /><br />Well. He had two men who thought he was everything they ever wanted. He took a deep breath, took a hold of himself and, after casting a cleaning spell, got dressed and headed back to his room. Tomorrow was another day…<br /><br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_</center><br /><br />A Jarvis! Obviously a prank. Snape had been copiously and creatively insulted by the magical creature as he was bringing it to Hagrid, and had actually laughed out loud at some of it’s more colourful epithets.<br />Walking back to his quarters, he thought about the events of the early evening. He had been delighted to have finally found his correspondent, and the fact that Justin was very attractive was a welcome bonus. Severus had to admit to himself that the encounter had not been at all what he expected.<br /><br />He had imagined his correspondent eager to establish a more intellectual connection, perhaps sitting on the couch together talking, then eventually getting closer and kissing. Though he’d had every intention to make the young man his lover and had even whished for it to be in the near future, He had not expected a blowjob three minutes after introducing themselves.<br /><br />Justin’s blowjob had been charmingly inexpert, but Severus would have come had it been even worse, the young man’s eagerness very arousing; eager, but inexperienced. His kisses were messy and slobbery, he obviously had no acquaintance with the subtle pleasure of opening your lover by hand, and well, the premature ejaculation would have been completely funny if it had not been a bit frustrating. Severus already expected it would be quite some time before Justin lasted long enough to pleasure him, but he would eventually, as he would learn to hide his teeth, suck deeply, deep throat and swallow around a cock, and how to kiss like a man and not an overexcited puppy dog.<br /><br />Still, Severus whished they’d talked. He had a lot to say to the young man, and it was obvious there was more in his interest for Snape than sex. Maybe next time…<br /><br />To his complete surprise, Harry Potter was waiting for him at his door when Severus returned. He carefully paid no heed to his relief that Justin had not asked to remain, allowing him to see Potter.<br /><br />“I’m sorry to bother you, sir, but I always seem to miss your office hours.”<br /><br />Respectful, poised, so bloody attractive. “There are such things as appointments, Mr. Potter, the purpose of which is to avoid students intruding on their teacher’s private time and space.“<br /><br />“An appointment,” repeated Potter, expressionless… “Of course. I’ll set one up with you after my next DADA class. Again, I apologize. Thank you, sir. Good night.”<br /><br />Potter turned around and started to walk away. Severus should have let him go, of course…<br /><br />“Mr. Potter. You are here now, and I am at leisure.” The young man turned back and smiled, and Severus’ s world, irrationally, seemed a brighter, happier place. “Come in. An exception, Mr. Potter, not to be repeated.”<br /><br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_</center><br /><br />It had been almost two weeks since Harry had followed Hagrid’s advice and changed his wardrobe. The way people behaved, you’d think it was more important than getting rid of Voldemort. He would not lie, though. He liked the attention. Malfoy and Seamus made veiled jokes about what they thought of his physique and what they’d like to do to him. He knew they were both teasing, but not really. They did think he looked really hot, but they were his friends first.<br /><br />He had gone on a date with Earl McMillan, and they had never made it out to the restaurant where Earl had made reservations. He rented a bedroom one flight up, not far from Madam Malkin’s, at the corner of Diagon and Miss Tick alley. The house elf of the lady he rented from would get him teas and what not.<br /><br />French doors opened onto a balcony, surrounded with climbing plants, with a view of the bustle of the busy street bellow. They sat there for a while, waiting to head out, on the old lady chintz settee, warmed by charms, just chatting. Earl was quite good looking, and his eyes never stopped roaming over Harry’s body. <br /><br />At one point, he got up and stretched, his erection quite visible inside his wizard trousers. He went in, and after a few minutes, called Harry, who assumed it was time to go.<br /><br />Instead, Earl was naked on his bed, caressing his erection. Harry smiled. He hadn’t come for the food. <br />He stripped quickly and joined the other man on the bed, kissing him, their bodies pressed against one another. He could not believe he’d once wondered if he was really gay as their penises rubbed deliciously one against the another.<br /><br />Earl headed south and started giving him head. It was better than anything Harry had ever felt. He had thought Casey’s blowjob was great, but it did not come close to Earl’s.<br /><br />“Earl! Stop!”<br /><br />Earl looked up at him wit a shit eating grin. “Do you really want me to stop?”<br /><br />Harry laughed. “Hell, no! But I want to learn how you do this. It’s the best blowjob I’ve ever had!” He didn’t mention he’d only had one other…<br /><br />“Let’s do a 69. Turn around so that we can both do it at the same time.”<br /><br />Harry got into position. Wow. Earl’s cock was right in his face. He could smell it, sandalwood and musky sweaty balls. Somehow, it smelled amazingly good. He put his nose in Earl’s pubes and breathed in. Oh, yeah, male, arousal, warm scent. ‘I can’t believe I like the smell of cock. I am so gay!’ he thought, laughing at himself.<br /><br />“Smells fantastic, right?” asked Earl.<br /><br />“Amazing,” replied Harry.<br /><br />“Wait till you taste it. Lick the drop of pre-cum out of my slit.”<br /><br />Harry put on his <i>Why the fuck not </i> attitude and did. It was salty, bitter, warm, and the head felt incredibly soft and cushiony. Fucking delicious. He did it again, then put the whole head in his mouth, spongy, soft, elastic, and sucked, getting more pre-cum on his tongue. Oh god! He loved sucking cock!<br /><br />“Do what you feel like doing, and I’ll do the same to you so you’ll know how it feels,” advised Earl.<br /><br />Harry wasted no time, swirling his tongue, licking the large vein, the slit, putting Earl’s cock inside his mouth and sucking, trying a little bit of teeth, pushing Earl’s cock against his cheek, occasionally popping the head in and out passed his lips. The instant feedback was great. Pretty soon he was doing quite well, as well as Casey had, but nowhere near what Earl had been doing.<br /><br />“Let’s do the same thing the other way, you lead, I follow,” said Harry, eager to learn. “Oh, fuck, oh, god! How the hell do you do that?”<br /><br />Earl told him about deep-throating, about swallowing and humming around the head. Harry tried and gagged, badly. “You get used to it,” said Earl, “but until then, there is this cool charm. Let me?”<br /><br />“Ok.”<br /><br />Earl put the tip of his wand against Harry throat and cast a spell, “Novem Torpeo”.<br /><br />He let his wand fall to the floor and said, “Your gag reflex is way down now. You can suck with the best. It will come back gradually in the next half hour or so. By then, you’ll have gotten used to the sensation of a dick this far back. Pretty soon, you won’t need the charm. Now, swallow me up and suck, I’m so hard for you I could weep!”<br /><br />Harry did. Earl’s cock now slid effortlessly to the back of his throat, and down. Harry buried his nose in the man pubes, swallowed with his mouth open, brought him back up sucking all the way, took a breath and did it again. Earl was doing the same to him, and god. He had never thought a blowjob could feel this way. He hoped to god it really was as good for Earl as it was for him, and kept bobbing up and down, in love with Earl’s cock, his scent, in love with his own and the sensations it was giving him.<br /><br />He thought of doing this to Severus Snape, surrounded by the smell of camphor, eucalyptus and whatever heavy musk would emanate from the man’s genitals, and the next time he was deep into Earl’s throat, he came and came. Earl’s cock was pulsing in his own mouth and Harry swallowed again and again, the cock was so deep, he never tasted the cum. When Earl pulled out, he took a deep breath and laughed.<br /><br />“Holy fuck. Please tell me it was as good for you as it was for me!” He said.<br /><br />Earl got on his elbow and grinned at him. “You are a natural. This was one of the best blowjobs I’ve ever received. I just love sucking cock. Don’t you?”<br /><br />“It is fan-fucking-tastic. The weight, the softness, the hardness, the smell, the taste. God. I had no idea. I always thought guys who sucked cock were doing the other guy a favour.”<br /><br />Earl laughed. “Half the time, when I give head, I come in my pants, sometimes without even touching myself. That’s how much I love it.”<br /><br />“And it shows,” said Harry, switching position so he was face to face with Earl again. They kissed deeply, languorously. “I can smell myself on you. Smoky and citrusy”<br /><br />“Yeah, you smell great.” They kept kissing, running their hands over one another, playing with each other’s nipples. Soon they were both hard again. “Harry? I don’t do anal, but I can show you something else if you want, something I promise you’ll like…”<br /><br />“Oh yeah? Will I get to do it to you after?”<br /><br />“If you want to hear me moan and whine, and beg like a girl…”<br /><br />Harry laughed. “Oh, yeah!”<br /><br />“First I have to cast this other spell on you. If you like this, and hope someone will do it to you, or if you’re going to get fucked, this is a spell you <i>have</i> to know.” <br /><br />“OK.”<br /><br />“Some people can cast it on themselves and others wordlessly, which is really classy. I wish I could.” <br />He hung of the side of the bed, looking for his wand and Harry took advantage of the situation to caress his furry arse. Earl came back up with a smile. He pointed his wand at Harry’s belly and cast, “rectum et colonia, vacuo et tergeo.”<br /><br />OK. That was weird. Harry felt empty, as if he’d just gone to the bathroom. His lousy latin told him his lower bowel had just been emptied and scrubbed clean. He could definitely see the advantage of that if you were about to get a cock up your arse, but Earl had said no anal, so he was a bit confused.<br /><br />“Ready to have your mind blown?” asked earl, with a wicked grin.<br /><br />“Blow away,” he said curious.<br /><br />“Turn onto your stomach, then raise your arse in the air and spread them.”<br /><br />“No anal, right?”<br /><br />“Promise.”<br /><br />“Here goes!” Harry assumed the position and was glad for the spell. This was embarrassing enough without having to worry about odours or… whatever. Earl lay on top of him, his hard cock in Harry’s crease, and nibbled on his neck and shoulders, then kissing, licking, blowing air, biting, scratching, made his way back down. It felt really good. He nibbled Harry’s arse cheeks, massaging them, tonguing the top of the crease, and that was all good. He smacked Harry lightly on the arse, and pinched the flesh and fuck, who would have thought? It felt great. <br /><br />Then his tongue followed the crease down and down… What the fuck was he doing? If he wasn’t careful he was going to lick his… Oh, shit! Ohhhh! Ohhhh! Oh, god. Warm wet tongue, licking hole: Gooooood. <br />Oooh! Warm wet tongue, circling hole again and again: So, so good! Holy fucking shit! Warm, warm wet tongue fucking hole, oh god! Oh, dear god! “Earl, oh fuck! Earl don’t stop! This is so… oh fucking Merlin, yeah! Keep… Ahhh! Oh god that! That! Yeah, Oh, my god! “<br /><br />Harry had no clue where he was, what he was saying, how much time had passed. He was in sensation heaven. Something harder and longer had breached him a while back, along with the tongue, and he didn’t care. <br />Earl could have shoved his wand in there right now and Harry would have loved it. Then something touched something inside, he howled in pleasure, and a hand gripped his cock and pumped and the something was touched again and he exploded, crying out, mewling, totally owned.<br /><br />He might have blacked out. A hand was caressing his hair, and a mouth was kissing his shoulder. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes, meeting Earl’s smiling face.<br /><br />“You liked that, did you?”<br /><br />Harry chuckled. “What the hell was that?”<br /><br />“Rimming. It’s pretty intimate. Not everybody does it. It’s one of my personal favourite.”<br /><br />“I can see why.” He took a deep breath and stretched, then yawned hugely.<br /><br />“If you’re too tired to go reciprocate, I won’t be mad. I know you still have to get back to school and everything,” said Earl kindly.<br /><br />Harry licked his lips. “Go back? Now? Are you crazy? I have an arse to feast upon. I want to hold your hole hostage, and hear you beg, pretty boy! What did you do at the end, inside, with your finger or whatever?”<br /><br />“I caressed your prostate. You’ll feel it, it’s a raised area, as if there was an apricot or a big cherry you could feel through the wall. That’s what guys aim for with their dick when they fuck another guy. I hear it feels amazing. It certainly does when you rub it with your finger.”<br /><br />“You’ve never had anal sex?”<br /><br />“No. There is so much fun to be had without it. I’m saving that for love, you know? I’m pretty sure I’ll be a bottom. I’d like my first time to be with the man I want to spend my life with. I’m just a romantic fool. Do you want to have casual anal sex?”<br /><br />“Well, I think I’m a top. I’m in love with someone whom I’m sure has tons of experience. I’d hate to fumble around, and hurt him, and come in twelve seconds if I ever am lucky enough to get there with him. I’d like to be able to make love to him, to drive him insane, to make him forget his name the first time we fuck. I don’t think you can do that right out of the gates so to speak. But I think I’ll save being fucked for him, so he’ll be my first at something.”<br /><br />“I think that’s a great approach. Especially if the guy is older and has more experience. He’s done the fumbling, he has put up with the premature ejaculation already, probably. Surprising him by rocking his world would be great.”<br /><br />“And I’ll start by rimming him until he’s a puddle of goo. Want to help me practice?”<br /><br />Earl grinned. “Cast the spell, firs… Wow. Wandless, and wordless. Very nice. I just don’t have the power…”<br /><br />“Assume the position, pretty boy,” said Harry.<br /><br />Earl complied, smiling in anticipation. Harry pretty much followed the pattern Earl had used on him, coming down his back, massaging his arse, smacking and pinching, and sliding down his tongue. He was surprised to feel no repulsion, no hesitation. The small star shaped pucker was just too much temptation, and he couldn’t wait to lave it, lick it, circle it, fuck it with his tongue. He loved the noises Earl was making, loved the incredible softness of the walls inside, loved the musk, the surprisingly sweet taste on his tongue, the folds opening for him.<br /><br />He held the hole open with his thumbs to be able to tongue further in, to wiggle deep. He sucked at the entrance, licked and probed with a finger, then two, while Earl was coming undone. He felt the prostate, enslaved Earl to his caresses, finally grabbed his cock and let him come, his tongue as deep in the sweet arse as possible, his fingers petting the lump that gave such pleasure. He loved Earls arse contracting on his tongue, loved the man’s howl, loved the hot cum in his hand. He removed his fingers, retrieved his tongue and sucked at the hole one more time.<br /><br />He wanted to get behind that arse and fuck it so bad he shivered. He lay next to Earl and started jerking off.<br /><br />“I’m so hard! I wanted to fuck you so bad, just get on my knees and slide in. Oh, fuck. I can’t wait to do this to him. Oh god, just to be inside his body, caressing that bump with my cock, holding him in my hand, making him call my name…”<br /><br />“Harry! Yes, Harry, fuck me, fuck me hard,” whispered Earl in his ear completing his fantasy. Harry was looking at a white back and a mess of black hair in his mind, a thin body, bony and beautiful…<br /><br />“Come with me Harry, come! Ah, so good! Ahhhh!” Severus whispered in his ear. Harry lost it and came, hard, the cum landing on his breastbone. A warm comforter covered him and he was gone.<br /><br />His dreams were filled with the potion master kissing him passionately, saying, “not yet, Harry, not yet. But I see you, I see you.”<br /><br />Harry woke up to a hand shacking his shoulder gently. Earl. He smiled and opened his eyes. Earl was smiling too.<br /><br />“It’s six, Harry. I fell asleep. I have to leave for work in a half hour. I figured we could shower and have breakfast together.”<br /><br />Harry rolled out of bed. “That sounds like such a great plan!”<br /><br />A hand job, a shower, tea, toast and fruit and a selective obliviation later, (not of what, but of whom the night before had happened with), and Harry apparated back to Hogwarts’ gate. He jogged up the path, went to his room, changed to Wizard wear (light grey trousers, straight collar shirt, dark blue vest with silver unicorns) and his school robes and made it to Transfiguration just in time. <br /><br />Hermione laughed at him. “You look so fine. You have that ’I love sex and I’m good at it’ aura.”<br /><br />He leaned to her and whispered in her ear, “I love sex, and I am good at it, that’s why!”<br /><br />They cracked up.<br /><br />“Mr. Potter? Miss Granger? Would you mind directing your energies to this morning‘s task or does more chatting need to be done?”<br /><br />“Sorry Professor.”<br /><br />“My apologies, Professor.”<br /><br />Harry transfigured the glass on his desk into a canary, as requested, a NEWT level transfiguration. He used his wand, though he did it wordlessly, mostly because he’d forgotten the spell. McGonagall looked at him and rolled her eyes. He grinned at her, and saw a twitch in her mouth. For the rest of the lesson, his pretty canary sang away, perched on his shoulder, as Harry reviewed for the written part of the coming NEWTS.<br /><br />It took about forty minutes, but eventually, Hermione’s canary perched on his other shoulder, and entered a duet with his.<br /><br />“You’re getting stronger all the time, Harry.”<br /><br />“I know.”<br /><br />“When did it start? I mean, you’ve always had plenty of magic, but this wandless, wordless stuff only started this year.”<br /><br />“I used my wand.”<br /><br />“Because you don’t want people to know you don’t need to.”<br /><br />“I don’t know, Hermione. It’s like it comes naturally now. I can just focus my magic and tell it what to do. I use the spells, usually, but sometimes, I just think about what I want to accomplish. I was wondering… I was wondering if perhaps I inherited some of Voldemort’s magic, though it doesn’t feel dark at all.”<br /><br />“Back to the chit-chat you two?” said McGonagall who had quietly come behind them.<br /><br />They both jumped guiltily.<br /><br />“Nice birds,” she said. “But unless you plan to take them to your dorms in a cage, please change them back to glasses. Oh, and Mr. Potter, we do have a Defence Against the Dark Arts Master at Hogwarts. You might want to ask him about your… problem and your hypothesis.”<br /><br />For a few days, Harry thought of nothing but how to approach Snape about his question. It was an opening. He wanted to make the most of it. Then it was Tuesday (Malfoy had explained to him about Tuesdays, and a bit about gay etiquette) and Harry went to the Three Broomsticks with Hermione and Ron. <br /><br />They had been there about forty minutes when Marcus came in. He scanned the room and stopped on Harry, his eye contact burning hot. Harry had warned his friends he might disappear at some point in the evening, and just told them, “My date just arrived. I’m not in a hurry, but when I go to the bathroom later, I’m not coming back.”<br /><br />“Are you sure it’s safe to go to his place, Harry?” asked Hermione for the twentieth time.<br /><br />“Yeah. Quite sure. He swore a wizard oath to speak to no one about last time. He’s a really nice guy. And from the look he just gave me, I can tell you he is <i>not</i> under Imperius…”<br /><br />They had a great time, talking about the store and the new products, mostly, and about Ron’s plans for a mail order department. Harry thought the idea was brilliant. Finally, about an hour later, the butterbeer he had consumed was making a trip to the facilities unavoidable.<br /><br />“Have a nice evening, you two. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t. And you know, Rosmerta does have rooms for rent. Just saying…” He left a grinning Hermione and a Ron, very red in the face, behind. He was washing his hands when Marcus came in, right after another man who was drop dead gorgeous, tall, blond, buff, young, with sparkling blue eyes and a killer smile.<br /><br />He looked at Harry in the mirror. “You’re hot, green eyes. Wanna play?” Harry saw Marcus’s resigned look as he turned around and started to head toward the bar again.<br /><br />Harry smiled at the man in the mirror. “I’m sorry,” he said, “but I’m not interested. I have a better offer.”<br /><br />It was Marcus’s turn to look at him questioningly in the mirror. Harry smiled at him, and Marcus’s face lit up.<br /><br />“Whatever offer <i>he</i> made, I can do better,” said the blond, smiling, and licking his lips.<br />Harry’s wand slid down from his sleeve into his hand. “I doubt that, and at least he doesn’t work for Witch Weekly.” Before the blond had any chance to react, Harry had pointed his wand at him. “Obliviate! <br /><br />The rumours you heard are untrue. I was here with my best friends, unaware of the day of the week. When you propositioned me, I was clueless, and first told you the time, then gave you directions to Zonko’s, then I went back and spent the entire evening with my friends. Eavesdropping, you heard me mention Ginny Weasley five times. Go back to the bar and drink six firewhiskies in the next hour and a half.”<br /><br />The blond left the bathroom, humming a little tune.<br /><br />“Gee, Harry. It makes me really glad I swore a wizard oath, last time. I’ll do it again tonight, OK?”<br /><br />“Thanks, Marcus. I actually trust you, but I’ll take your oath.” He smiled. “I’ve been thinking about your kisses… a lot, and I’m really looking forward to tonight.” Harry pulled him into a stall and closed the door, kissing his lips lightly.<br /><br />“He was gorgeous,” said Marcus, backing off a little, looking closely at Harry’s expressions. “You could have obliviated him afterwards.”<br /><br />“You’re more my type. I don’t find blonds very attractive. And I had a great time last week. I want you, not him. Do you still mean what you said?”<br /><br />Marcus pushed Harry’s hair back, and kissed him hungrily. After a few minutes, he stopped and grinned, “Oh, yeah. Definitely. Shall we go to the floo? I’ll go first if you don’t want us to be seen leaving together.”<br /><br />“Why don’t you give me the apparation coordinates?”<br /><br />“Uh… I leave in Coventry, Harry.”<br /><br />“Why do you come here to… you know?”<br /><br />“I’m here with a couple of mates. One of them lives here, and we all like Rosmerta, from our schooldays. I was in Charlie Weasley’s class.”<br /><br />“But you were in Slytherin,” guessed Harry, quite sure of himself.<br /><br />“So I was. You are in Gryffindor. And I still want you to fuck me.”<br /><br />“What’s your last name?”<br /><br />“Please, Harry. I like you. Please don’t let this crap get between us.”<br /><br />“I won’t. I swear. You know my name. I just want to know yours.”<br /><br />“Marcus Lestrange. The notorious Lestranges’ first cousin, and the only Lestrange without the mark.”<br /><br />Harry kissed him, long and sweet. “Well, Marcus, if you give me your apparation coordinates, we can be in Coventry, getting naked, in about two minutes…”<br /><br />Marcus smiled and gave him the coordinates.<br /><br />The next day, Harry made it to Charms with seconds to spare, and his attention was definitely not on his work. He kept thinking back to the previous night, to the gorgeous mansion in Coventry, the beautiful antiques, the house elves, and the very large master bedroom with the enormous four-poster.<br /><br />Harry took the lead as soon as they arrived, snapping his fingers as he banished their clothes to a chair. Marcus laughed and tackled him to the bed. He was lean, but rather soft, without much muscle definition, but it suited Harry just fine. They wrestled for a while, laughing. Harry ended up lying on top of Marcus’s back. On a whim, Harry cast ‘Sexualitas Revelio’. A broad red band, a medium orange band, a thin white band, a grey band.<br /><br />“Give it up, Marcus, you’re mine. Don’t make me tie you up…” He flipped Marcus over, using both his superior physical strength and a little magic. Marcus was panting, his eyes blown. Harry caressed his face gently. “But maybe I’ll tie you up anyway… would you like that Marcus?”<br /><br />“Oh, god! Yes, please…” said Marcus, panting, his cock so hard it was rising from his belly.<br />In the next moment, ropes were binding his limbs to the four posts. Harry pinched his nipples, hard, and Marcus said again, “Oh, god!”<br /><br />A quiet “Novem Torpeo” later, and Harry swallowed Marcus’s cock to the root, without warning, and gave him the blowjob of a life time. He waited until the man’s balls were tight and his cock was vibrating before pulling off, making Marcus cry out in frustration.<br /><br />Harry magically flipped him over and unbound his legs, raising Marcus’s arse up before he had the time to rub himself to orgasm on the bedspread. He did to him what he had done to Earl, going down is body, the scratches and the bites just a bit more pronounced. After a wandless and wordless “Rectum et colonia, vacuo et tergeo”, he followed the crease of his arse down, and made love to his hole.<br /><br />Marcus was completely undone and Harry’s cock was harder than he thought it had ever been. He accioed the lube he had in his jean’s pocket, and lovingly prepared Marcus. It was beautiful, arousing, marvellous. Finally, he completely unbound the man with a ‘Finite Incantatem’, which also returned his hair to its proper colour as he pushed inside him, gently, slowly, tenderly.<br /><br />“Yes, Yes, thank you, oh god! Thank you!” said Marcus, evidently liking that development.<br /><br />In Marcus’s arse to his balls, he reflected that though he had always thought the most marvellous revelation he’d ever received about himself was that he was a wizard, he now had to change his mind. The best thing to ever happen to him was to find out that he was gay. He started moving, angling his hips to run over the bump he had teased with his fingers, and Marcus cried out. Harry found his bearing, resisted the need to come, and found his rhythm, fucking Marcus deep and hard, his whole body vibrating with the impossible pleasure of it. <br /><br />He kept them both in that perfect state for as long as he could, but his body rebelled. He put his lubricated hand around Marcus’s cock, and slammed into him hard enough to push him in and out of his fist. He felt the splatter of cum on his fingers, and let himself go, flying high, his psyche reorganized and remade by the experience. His whole being cried out for Severus, though only a wordless scream passed his lips. He collapsed, half on his lover, half on the pillow next to him. Marcus opened his eyes, smiling, catching his breath. <br /><br />“I am so in love with you, right now,” said Marcus, chuckling.<br /><br />“That’s your cock talking,” replied Harry, laughing as well, totally in love with Marcus, but not fooled for one second.<br /><br />“That’s where my brain is at the moment. You’ve disconnected the other.”<br /><br />“I can honestly say the same.” They chuckled.<br /><br />“Let’s go to sleep. Stay in my arse, ok?”<br /><br />“OK.”<br /><br />They pulled the covers over themselves and Marcus doused the lights. Harry silently locked the door and warded the room tight.<br /><br />He dreamt that Professor Dumbledore, alive and well, was telling him Severus Snape needed Harry’s essence to recover fully from Nagini’s bite: Only that would fully bring him back. He was asking him to fuck Snape as a favour. Harry endeavoured to prove to Snape that it was no favour, but the thing he wanted most in the world. His hard cock was inside Snape, and he was fucking him hard and fast, gliding over his prostate again and again, whispering in the man’s ear how much he loved him and wanted this, as Snape was calling his name in his pleasure.<br /><br />He had his hand in the man’s hair and at some point woke up to the reality that he was fucking Marcus deep and hard, and that the man beneath him was very close to orgasm. He snuck his hand under Marcus’s body and grabbed his cock, and Marcus came, helplessly. Harry felt Marcus’s orgasm as the muscles of the man’s rectum contracted with the pulses of his ejaculation. It felt good enough to carry him over, and he too reached his release, shivering and moaning with it. <br /><br />He pulled out gently and lay on his back, still shivering. Marcus, propped on his elbow, smiled at him in the grey light of dawn.<br /><br />“You are an amazing lover,” he said. “I cannot remember the last time I felt so good.” He kissed Harry shoulder. “And you are so fucking beautiful. I could really easily fall for you. I don’t think we should do this again unless you want more than a fuck buddy, because I don’t think I can stay just friends.”<br /><br />Harry caressed his face. “If I wasn’t already in love with someone, I could easily see falling for you. I’m so glad we met. I’m sorry this can’t be more than what it is. Can I ask you about last night?”<br /><br />“Sure. What about last night?”<br /><br />“Did you enjoy it because of the blowjob, the rimming or the fucking?”<br /><br />“Ah. Constructive criticism… The blowjob was amazing. God, that deep throating! The sucking! I don’t know where you learned to do some of this, but you learn very well. The rimming was the best I’ve ever had. I thought I was going to come about fifty times, or die if I didn’t… you made me want your cock so bad, I thought I’d howl if you didn’t fuck me NOW. But the fucking! God! I know it was your first, but from the prep to the orgasm, it was… indescribable. I’ve never been so close to coming for so long. You made it last and last and last and I swear I was in heaven. I came with my entire body, so hard I thought I might have shorted my brain. I was perfectly happy to be a blissed out moron if that was the case. <br />Yep, the fucking was definitely the best part. And the rimming. And the blowjob. All three.” He chuckled.<br /><br />Harry smiled. “Thanks. I’m glad I wasn’t awful for my first time, and that I gave you pleasure.”<br /><br />Marcus kissed him. “If Snape is stupid enough not to want you, come back this way, OK?” He laughed at Harry’s shocked expression. “You called his name as you fucked me in your sleep this morning. Lucky bastard. He deserves you though. He is an extraordinary man. Don’t worry Harry, he is far from stupid. <br />He will know a good thing when he sees it and he will grab you and never let you go.”<br /><br />“I hope so. I love him.”<br /><br />“I figured that much.” He reached for his wand on the night table, and handed it to Harry grip first.<br /><br />“I give you my wizard oath that I will never let anyone know of anything that happened between us last evening, last night and this morning. I will carry it in my heart and never share it with anyone. <br />Whatever was said in confidence, or in the heat of the moment, will remain forever between us only.”<br /><br />“I accept your wizard oath,” said Harry, taking a hold of the wand. As before, a binding ribbon wrapped itself around Marcus’s mouth and hands, but also around his torso. Then it disappeared without a trace into his body.<br /><br />“Thank you Marcus.”<br /><br />It had been an amazing night. Harry felt confidant that if (no! When!) the time came, he could make love to Severus Snape and make him glad to be alive. Now if only the man would just notice him!<br /><br />Half the charm lesson had gone by, and Harry had not taken a single note. He wasn’t even sure what they were talking about today. They switched to the practical half of the lesson, and evidently they were working on water repellent charms, as applied to objects and people. He had practiced that charm on his glasses for years while playing Quidditch and as Flitwick passed by, cast a very potent “Impervius” on Hermione, so that when the diminutive professor let loose the equivalent of a bucket of water over her head, not one drop touched her. She had done a decent job on Harry as well. Only his socks seemed to get wet.<br /><br />“Well done, Mr. Potter! Not discreet enough to use in the Muggle world, but she could enjoy a dry walk during the worst typhoon. Next time, hold back a little.”<br /><br />“Yes, sir.”<br /><br />“Very well, Miss Granger, though you forgot his socks. You might want to dry them for him. Good, good…”<br /><br />“Good god, Mr. Longbottom! Where did the water go?”<br /><br />“Greenhouse three, sir. As I cast the charm, I remembered I had to go water the courgettes after class. I guess I just banished the water there…”<br /><br />“Well, why don’t you do so for the entire floor and save yourself a chore, though once again, it would not do in the Muggle world. Mr Finch-Fletchley! Mr. Longbottom is soaked to the bones. Are you even trying? Do you think you can handle drying him up?”<br /><br />Hermione dried Neville as Justin seemingly could not be bothered, too busy reading something. Harry was surprised. Wasn’t the Hufflepuff supposed to study Charms at Cambridge? He seemed less than passionate about it. He finally looked up and apologized to Neville. “Sorry, Longbottom. I’ve a lot on my mind…”<br /><br />“It’s all right,” said Neville, smiling back.<br /><br />After charms, Neville, Harry and Hermione all had a free period. They went back to Gryffindor to drop off the day’s books, having only Herbology left later. They sat on the closest couch near the fire to chat, since Neville did not have to go early.<br /><br />“I noticed Snape staring at you, Harry,” remarked Neville. “I think he really likes your new look.”<br /><br />Hermione giggled. “Everybody has been staring at you. You look wonderful, Harry.”<br /><br />Harry shrugged. “I like my new look. I do think Snape noticed, but he certainly hasn’t done anything about it.”<br /><br />“He doesn’t even know you’re gay, does he?” Asked Neville.<br /><br />“No. I guess not. It doesn’t really come up all that often in DADA class.”<br /><br />“I think Neville’s right. I think that should be your next step: To let him know you are available, and possibly, to hint that you’re interested,” said Hermione.<br /><br />“Easier said than done.”<br /><br />Neville thought out loud. “It would be great if you had some excuse to go talk to him about something, but it’s not as if you’re having problems in his class. Even I love it and am doing great.”<br /><br />“Well, there is something,” said Hermione. “You could even say McGonagall advised you to consult him…”<br /><br />“What is it?” asked Neville.<br /><br />“Uh…”<br /><br />“Hermione! This is Neville. I don’t care if he knows! My magic has grown stronger. Is growing stronger, I think, all the time, and I’m wondering why. I was a bit concerned I had taken on some of Voldemort’s when he died.”<br /><br />“Well, that’s nonsense. Your magic is brilliant, pure, crystalline. Beautiful. Your aura is all white light. It bathes everything in this cleansing radiance. You can’t get magic from someone else anyway, otherwise there would be no Squibs, would there…” said Neville, matter of factly.<br /><br />“You <i>see</i> magic? You see people’s Aura?” asked Harry, confused.<br /><br />“Yes, ever since…” Neville turned bright red. “Well. The first time Luna and I were intimate, uh… it was, hmm… It was really, really good. We, uh… We kind of ended up, well, together. Not just physically, but inside each other’s head. I saw the world through her eyes and learned her magic from the inside, and she felt the same. She can grow anything, now, and I see auras, and weird magical forces no one else seems to notice. I know what she thinks, and feel what she feels if I want. She’s in me, and me in her… all the time. And the sex… God, you have no idea…”<br /><br />Hermione smiled at him. “You’re bonded.”<br /><br />“Yes. We are. We wouldn’t have needed to get married, but we didn’t know, obviously. You have no idea how amazing the world is through her eyes. But anyway, Harry, your magic <i>is</i> growing stronger, all the time. You should talk to Snape about it. Not only will he probably know why, because, let’s face it, the man knows everything, but it’s a great opening. Surely, it’s personal enough that you can squeeze mentioning you’re gay in there…”<br /><br />It was quite late when Harry worked up the courage to go knock on Snape’s door again. Last time had been such a let down. This was worse. Snape wasn’t even in. Harry was about to leave when the man showed up, his welcome as warm as ever. An appointment. Right. Harry could not help but smile when Snape called him back.<br /><br />“Mr. Potter. You are here now, and I am at leisure. Come in. An exception, Mr. Potter, not to be repeated.”<br /><br />They entered the man’s sitting room. There was a large desk, walls covered in books and a sitting area in front of the fire, the dominant colour green, but none of it Slytherin green. The walls were light lime, the leather-bond books forest green, the draperies grass green velvet lined in lime green silk, the enormous rug a Persian mix of hundreds of shades contrasted by tobacco brown, the colour of the deep leather furniture. There were beautiful decanters, glasses, bowls of cut crystal decorating the fireplace and the coffee table, and a large painting of a mansion at the end of a lawn bordered by ancient oaks above the fireplace.<br /><br />The effect was absolutely lovely, the most beautiful room Harry had ever seen. He turned around on himself taking it all in. He loved it, just loved it.<br /><br />“Does my interior decorating meet with your approval, Mr. Potter?” asked Snape, probably indicating his behaviour verged on rudeness.<br /><br />Harry just smiled at him, openly and honestly. “I love this room. The lime walls, the different materials, the carpet, the green harmony. It’s so beautiful, just… lovely.”<br /><br />Snape looked taken aback, as if no one ever mentioned it, or as if he’d been sure of Harry’s disapproval. He smiled back at Harry, completely throwing him off, because the slightly vulnerable expression made his face even more beautiful. “Thank you, Mr. Potter. Any moment of peace I have known at Hogwarts has been in this room. I love it as well. Shall we have tea?”<br /><br />“Yes, please, sir. Thank you.”<br /><br />They sat down, Harry on a settee, and Snape in a deep reading chair in front of the fire. A small bat eared elf appeared with a tea tray with a plate of shortbread and one of Harry’s favourite chocolate biscuit.<br /><br />“A snack, Shig? At this time of night?”<br /><br />The house elf winked at Harry and blinked out. Snape looked at Harry with an eyebrow raised. “My elf likes you, apparently. Biscuits are not often forthcoming. To what do I owe this rather late visit, Mr. Potter?”<br /><br />“It is a late one because, well… I am terribly intimidated by you, still, and had to work up the courage to come. As for being here at all, I was hoping you might be able to help me understand what has been happening to me these past few months.”<br /><br />“Intimidated? Do you still see me as the ogre, Mr. Potter?”<br /><br />“Oh, no, sir. I admire you. Respect you. I’m rather in awe of you, really.”<br /><br />“Have you anything to gain from this flattery?”<br /><br />Harry had decided before coming that he would not accept even the smallest mockery, or the slightest put down from Snape. He would not let him derail the conversation into their habitual ridiculous and senseless conflict.<br /><br />“I suppose I should have expected your feelings towards me to be unchanged and therefore your immediate interpretation of my honesty as some calculated kissing up. Though I am grateful that at least this time, you allowed me entrance into your quarters, this is not the tone I was hoping for in this conversation.” <br /><br />He stood up. “I shall make an appointment to see you in your office and will be more careful next time to keep the conversation away from any personal matters.”<br /><br />Snape rubbed his face with his hands. “My apologies, Mr. Potter. Please sit down again. Old habits die hard. And no, I do not still think of you as a thoughtless brat, the carbon copy of your father. I have noticed that you have grown into being your own man, a man I do not… dislike. Why do you seek my counsel this evening?”<br /><br />Snape had apologized! He saw Harry as a man, one he did not dislike. Harry’s heart soared.<br /><br />“Since last summer, my magic had gotten progressively more powerful, as well as easier for me to handle. The people who know me best have noticed, and a friend with unusual sensibility has visually seen it grow.”<br /><br />“Miss Lovegood?”<br /><br />“Her bonded husband, Neville. They have acquired each other’s abilities since their bonding.”<br /><br />“Ah. One soul, shared by two people, reunited. A rare phenomenon, which explains both their previous apparent vacuity. According to tradition, they should live long and remarkably happy and productive lives, a blessing to all who know them. But sorry, I digress. Please go on.”<br /><br />“I can easily cast spells wandlessly and wordlessly now when, even just a few month ago, it was a struggle to do one or the other. I am sure you have seen it in my duels. I was afraid I had somehow ‘inherited’ some of Voldemort’s magic, but Neville says that’s nonsense.”<br /><br />Snape smiled. Harry’s stomach did a little flip. He loved that smile. He wanted to kiss that smile. <br />Snape said, “Let’s ask the Minister to declare today a National Holliday: I wholeheartedly agree with Mr. Longbottom.” And Harry was shocked into a chuckle. Snape had made a joke.<br /><br />Snape smirked, but went on seriously. “Tell me, Mr. Potter, can you recall precisely when you started noticing your increase in power?”<br /><br />“Not precisely, no. Sometime this summer. Mid-summer, maybe?”<br /><br />“Did something unusual occur at the time?”<br /><br />Harry thought about it. Well, they had been in Australia… Yes!! There was his opening! His perfect chance.<br /><br />“Well, I was travelling in Australia with Hermione and Ron. I’d never been anywhere before… And though I am sure it’s completely unrelated, it happened at about the same time as the discovery of my homosexuality. Though I think that realization came so late due more to the fact that at the time when people are preoccupied with puberty, I was preoccupied with Voldemort.”<br /><br />Snape’s facial expression and dark gaze were unreadable, but the man was perfectly quiet as he stared at Harry for what seemed an eternity. Then he asked, perfectly seriously, “Are you quite sure you are homosexual, Mr. Potter, or are you experimenting, as your classmates did at puberty? Or perhaps, may there be a possibility you might be bisexual?”<br /><br />“Oh, I am absolutely positive. Certainly not experimenting, and absolutely not bisexual. I'm queer.” <br />Harry did not want there be any doubt whatsoever in Snape’s mind. He continued, “I'm gay. I'm a faggot, a poof, a pansy, I'm a butt pirate, a backside artist. I'm an arse bandit. I lift those shirts. I'm a buggering, uphill gardener. Oh, and a top. Definitely a top.”<br /><br />The corner of Snape’s mouth lifted in an almost smile, but soon he looked serious again. “Quite… Well. To answer your question: Most wizard’s magical powers grow, from birth to the end of puberty, usually until around the age of seventeen, which is why it is the age at which a wizard becomes an adult. Power grows exponentially, but for most people, the increase in power occurs at the same time as an increase in knowledge due to a concurrent magical education, and they just assume their increased abilities are due to their increase in knowledge on how to use their magic.<br /><br />“For some rare individuals, the growth continues for a few more months beyond the average age, and being exponential, becomes more and more noticeable. The growth is most rapid right before it ceases. It is unheard for any wizard to have it continue beyond the age of twenty-one. <br /><br />“You have always been a fairly powerful wizard. Your continued increase in power is now extremely noticeable as it is carrying it to levels barely ever reached. As it is, your magical strength puts you on par with only a few, rare individuals. Should it continue much longer, you may surpass them and become one of the most powerful wizards alive, perhaps the strongest.<br /><br />“It happens, Mr. Potter. The most powerful wizard has to be <i>someone</i>. The past two years have seen the passing of two of the strongest wizards that ever lived. Magic abhors a vacuum. Then again, your increase in power might dwindle tomorrow, and you might not be <i>the</i> strongest, but just be one of a few most powerful. As I am. As is Lucius Malfoy, as was your Godfather, and Tom Riddle, and Albus Dumbledore, Gellert Grindewald and of course, Merlin. All of us well above average in power, and every one of us… homosexuals. Only an interesting coincidence, I’m sure.”<br /><br />“Wow. Really? Professor Dumbledore was… And Lucius Malfoy? Yes, well. Interesting. So, nothing nefarious; just business as usual, just another <i>why-should-I-be-like-everyone-else–in-anything-whatsoever</i> kind of thing. At least this one, I actually enjoy. I like the ease with which I can do magic now, and Merlin knows I love being bent. I’m sure things will stabilize soon enough.” Harry caught himself babbling and looked at Snape apologetically, though the man did not seem to object. “Sorry,” he said, a little embarrassed. “I’m thinking out loud. Thank you for your help, Professor. Thank you very much for your time.” Harry got up, ready to go.<br /><br />Walking him to the door, Snape said, “You are welcome Mr. Potter. I am glad I could put your mind at rest. Despite what I said earlier, feel free to come to me again in my quarters if you have any more concerns or questions. If it is an inconvenient time, I shall let you know.”<br /><br />“I truly appreciate it, sir.” <br /><br />Harry was about to open the door, but Snape stayed his hand. “May I ask you a personal question, Mr. Potter, just to satisfy my prurient curiosity?”<br /><br />“I may not answer, but you may ask,” replied Harry, wondering what was coming.<br /><br />“Is there… someone special in your life at this time?”<br /><br />Harry’s heart beat faster. Why would Snape ask something like that unless… “No. I’m not seeing anyone. Just enjoying Tuesday nights.”<br /><br />Snape chuckled. “Who doesn’t? Good night Mr. Potter.”<br /><br />“Good night, Professor.” He stepped into the corridor, and decided to throw caution to the wind… He looked back at Snape, who stopped closing the door and raised a questioning eyebrow. <br /><br />“I’m not seeing anyone because I am in love with someone. Someone I am terribly intimidated by, someone I admire and respect. Someone I am rather in awe of. I’m hoping he will take the first step…”<br /><br />Feeling almost faint with daring, Harry turned and walked away. He did not remember how he had gotten there when he stood in front of the pink lady. “School ties,” he said, and was let in. Hermione was still up, waiting for him. He grabbed her and twirled her around as she giggled.<br /><br />“It went well, then, I take it?” she asked.<br /><br />He smiled stupidly at her and gave her a blow by blow.<br /><br />“Oh, Harry! It went very well! First, let’s get out of the way the relief that you are no more an odd ball than usual, and then move on to the important parts. He told you he was gay too! And oh! <i>“Is there… someone special in your life at this time?”</i> Oh! My god, Oh! My god, Oh! My! God! And you, all Gryffindorish and challenging, throwing the gauntlet! Oh! My god! And we have DADA first thing in the morning. You are wearing <i>The</i> pants, Harry! With <i>That</i> shirt! Definitely!”<br /><br />Harry laughed at her. “<i>The</i> pants? With <i>That</i> shirt?”<br /><br />She hit his arm. “Shut up. You know very well the ones I mean. The tannish-gold suede pants that cup your cock so well I could tell you weren’t circumcised, the “Oops, I didn’t notice you could see right through it” blousy shirt, and that Gryffindor cravat Earl spent fifteen minutes teaching you how to tie, with your dark red vest and your new robes open, so that you look like the sexiest Mr. Darcy alive…”<br /><br />“Who the hell is Mr. Darcy?”<br /><br />“Oh! My god! You’ve never read “Pride and Prejudice”? Oh, Harry, It’s the most romantic, the most… You jerk! We watched the movie together on the plane to Australia!”<br /><br />Harry was cracking up as she was hitting him with her little fists, laughing too.<br /><br />“Let’s go to bed,” Harry said, finally, “or I might just sleep right through DADA!”<br /><br />“Do wait ‘till morning to shower! And don’t forget to shave! and wear that cologne I got you for you birthday, but not too much, it’s smell good when you sweat!, and go commando…”<br /><br />“Yes Mother!” said Harry, going up the stairs as she enumerated her recommendations. She was as excited as he was. He loved that girl!<br /><br /><centre>_-_-_-_-_-_-_<br /><br />Severus closed his door and rested his head against it, his heart beating wildly in his chest. <br /><br /><i>“I’m not seeing anyone because I am in love with someone. Someone I am terribly intimidated by, someone I admire and respect. Someone I am rather in awe of. I’m hoping he will take the first step…”</i><br /><br />Harry was in love with him. Harry was hoping he would take the first step. <br /><br /><i> “…Oh, and a top. Definitely a top.”</i><br /><br />Harry was a top. Harry spoke of Tuesdays. He understood the rules, and probably knew exactly what he was about. Harry would fuck him into oblivion and back, he was certain.<br /><br />He had been hopelessly in love with Harry Potter for three years, and in one evening, everything had changed. The dream was his to grab and make reality, a beautiful young man who loved him, a reward for his years of sacrifice…<br /><br />Oh God! Oh dear, dear god! Justin! Guilt rushed over Severus’s euphoria, drowning it completely. He was such an ungrateful bastard! How could he have forgotten his sweet Justin so completely, only hours after the two of them had sex for the first time? (Lousy sex, said a voice, which weirdly sounded like Draco Malfoy.)<br /><br />Justin had loved him, watched over him, watched him descend into depression, killing himself slowly but surely, and he had broken the cycle, had let him know someone cared, had given him back his taste for food, his few friends, his love of brewing, his sex life. He just wanted to be loved in return. And he was beautiful, with his golden brown ringlets, his blue eyes, his golden skin, his youthful body, his pretty cock, (Pretty <i>little</i> cock, said Draco), and his endearing inexperience… (Is that what you call a lousy fuck, Severus? asked Draco.)<br /><br />Why the fuck was Draco Malfoy in his head?<br /><br />Har… Potter had been a dream for so long. But his Justin was not a dream. He was a man who cared for him, who wanted him. He was reality; and a nice reality at that. Severus went to his desk and reread the last of Justin’s message. He smiled and went to get ready for bed.<br /><br />If he drank some Quick Sleep, it was because it was so late and he wanted to make sure to fall asleep right away, not because he did not want to re-live and juxtapose the two parts of his evening, not at all. And if the next day he showered, shampooing his hair thoroughly, and shaved, and wore his nicest robes, all the while reciting to himself all the ingredients in the school supply closet in reverse alphabetical order, it was not to prevent himself from examining what he was doing, but to keep his mind limber.<br /><br />That at breakfast, he immediately sought a dark messy head at the Gryffindor table was just a left over habit of years of watching the brat like a hawk, and when the green eyes met his brazenly, and slowly blinked, and he got instantly hard, well… who the fuck knows what that was about.<br /><br />Severus had to scan the Hufflepuff table three times before finding his sweet Justin, who was staring at his porridge pensively, drawing shapes in it with his spoon. He had a very nice profile. Not once did he look up towards the head table, completely absorbed in his thoughts. Severus would have given anything to know what they were.<br /><br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_</center><br /><br />Justin had not slept well. He had dreamt of Draco making love to him like Blaise did, passionately, selflessly, adoringly, of Draco calling his name as he came, crying out his love for him, of Draco telling him excitedly about Malfoy Manor, where they could live in leisure after school, their greatest excesses not even making a dent in the Malfoy fortune. He’d woken up his belly covered in cum and had cried bitterly about the unfairness that Draco’s best friend, and not Draco, should be the one to love him.<br />It was a comedy of error. Draco could not love him because he was in love with Severus Snape. Severus’s heart was Justin’s and he could not love Draco. And Justin was insanely in love with Draco, therefore unable to love Snape. Somewhere, fate was laughing its head off.<br /><br />The day before, in Charms, Justin had reviewed Snape’s finances, or at least the parts available from public domain. The ugly old bastard was worth a mint. Luckily, since Severus’s grandfather, who had married into the family, had pissed away all the liquidities, the bulk of the Prince estate was entailed to the male of the line. Severus, half blood that he was, was the first male heir in five generations. A mansion in Devonshire, a house in Camden, several farms in Scotland, a knitting factory in Lambeth, and a huge farm in Australia were all his to do as he pleased. <br /><br />From Dumbledore, as his sole heir, he’d inherited a cottage by the sea in Wales, a small manor in Godric’s Hollow, a small chateau and attached vineyards in a place called Beaunes, in France, and surprisingly, an apartment in some house on Fifth Avenue in New York. There were also a bunch of shares in some fruit growing company unoriginally called “Apple”, and a huge investment in some South American firm of some sort called “Amazon”. <br /><br />Justin planned on asking his older brother Leslie, who had an MBA and was running the Finch corporation since their father’s semi-retirement, if those were any good. Either way, it was already much more than what Blaise could expect to inherit from his mother. Idly, Justin wondered if he could ever convince Snape to bleach his teeth and have a nose job. Surely braces would be too much to hope for. He did have great cheekbones and intriguing ebony eyes. A good haircut could do wonders to show those off.<br /><br />Snape, that ugly git, probably had never had anyone as pretty as Justin in his bed before, but that would only go so far. Justin <i>knew</i> his blowjobs were fabulous, and that he was a great kisser, but to wrap the greasy git around his little finger, Justin had to learn to top properly. <br /><br />But it was so hard! Especially with Snape! He had to picture an arse he’d like to fuck, (Potter’s! Yum!) to get hard enough to get it in, but then it felt so good, and the thought of Potter’s arse, and how was he supposed to not come? It was so unfair! He was a bottom, not a top! Snape was such a bastard! How could he be a bottom? He was a control freak! Oh, bother. If only Draco… No. No more dreaming about Draco. That was water under the bridge.<br /><br />Well, it was time to go to transfiguration. Ooooh… Potter was getting up, Justin would just wait a minute and check him out. Holly fucking shit! Those trousers were god’s gift to queers! You could see his beautiful cock, at least eight inches <i>at rest!</i> perfectly. And that shirt! Justin would bet Harry had no clue how transparent it was anywhere it touched skin. You could see a delicious pink nipple, the shadow of a six-pack, oh fuck! The treasure trail… And here he was, completely oblivious of how gorgeous he was, joking with that stupid bitch Hermione.<br /><br />What the fuck? Why was Draco looking at Potter this way? No, no, no, no, no, no, no! He was not supposed to look at <i>Potter</i> this way! He was supposed to look at Snape that way! Snape! The love of his life! The experienced older man he’d wanted for years! The reason why Justin could never have him! Not fucking Potter! What did Potter have that Justin didn’t, to tear Draco’s eyes away from Snape?<br /><br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_</center><br /><br />Standing on his chair, the diminutive Professor Flitwick was whacking Severus’s back, helping the piece of toast, which had started down the wrong path, to find its way where it belonged. Finally, Severus had a long sip of tea, dried his watery eyes on his napkin, and took a deep breath.<br /><br />“Thank you, Filius…”<br /><br />No one else had noticed his problem and its resolution, because all eyes were on Harry, the reason he had swallowed out of turn in the first place. Those trousers! Suede, tight, lovingly displaying the man’s cock in all its glory (eight inches, at rest!), and that shirt! Potter had probably worn an undershirt when he had bought it and not realized its material revealed anything it touched, a walking peep show… <br />Draco Malfoy intercepted Potter near the door and as they talked, Potter buttoned a muted red vest, which matched his perfectly tied cravat in muted Gryffindor colours. Now, he looked like a more perfect Mr. Darcy, standing next to Draco’s Wickham. Why had Severus never noticed before how Wizard clothes resembled those of early nineteenth century Britain? With bitter amusement, Severus decided that with his own black get-up, he looked a lot more like Mr. Collins than he did Elizabeth Bennett…<br /><br />Though he understood why all too well, he felt helpless dread when he saw that the looks Draco had theretofore reserved for him were now directed at Potter.<br /><br />The class with the seventh year Gryffindors and Slytherins was sweet torture, Severus’s eyes constantly drawn to Harry, his cock immediately reacting, his forcing himself to look away, walking around half hard until he forgot again and his eyes sought Harry once more, starting the whole cycle again. <br /><br />After learning to target curses thrown their way with counter-curses in lieu of using a shield, they were now learning to physically avoid them by stepping aside, spinning away, jumping back, or plain ducking, though it was not advised to do so as ducking took time to recover from and hindered further movements. <br /><br />In real battle situations, robes were an advantage, the folds of material disguising the exact position of <br />the opponent and containing at least some spell protection, but for the purpose of learning, the school robes were shed so the students could be plainly observed.<br /><br />Severus, unusually, had paired Miss Granger with Potter. He just could not stand the thought of Draco’s eyes intent on Harry’s body for two hours. Miss Granger wore a long flowing skirt under her robes, looking extremely feminine, and Severus had to admit, very pretty. He was shocked when she did not hesitate to remove it, and realized that the black turtleneck and black leggings she wore underneath were perfectly acceptable clothing on their own.<br /><br />The tight clothes showed off her lithe and willowy figure to its best advantage, the delicacy of her bone structure paired with quick and supple strength. More than one of the boys did a double take, including Draco Malfoy.<br /><br />Under his robes, Harry had been hiding the perfection of his well-muscled arse and thighs, the narrowness of his hips, the breadth of his shoulder. He was… God! He was so, so beautiful. Off also came the cravat, and he and Miss Granger started duelling.<br /><br />Always fair, Harry used his wand for every spell, but did use some non-spoken curses and charms since Miss Granger was equally able to do so. Both were very fast and very limber, knowing each other too well not to anticipate some of each other’s moves. Potter was all feline grace and tightly controlled power, his motions fluid and harmonious, his magic a well-honed tool. Side by side they would be a force to be reckoned with. They had been so already, hadn’t they? They were beautiful to watch.<br /><br />Draco Malfoy was fighting Miss Weasley, and she was vicious. She used simple spells in quick succession to annoy and distract her opponent, and then went for the kill. Though she threw even more, which Draco deftly avoided, she managed to hit him with a bat bogey hex, frightfully good, an itchy jinx, a shoulder tap trick, a hair growing spell and finally a trousers shrinking jinx in about two minutes flat, hardly slowed by the reversal of her knee joints and her suddenly scaly skin. She had Draco trying to squeeze out of his trousers when she hit him full on with an Incarcero, doubled with an Impedimenta. As she approached her tied up foe, calmly reversing his curses on her, she was kind enough to counter the shrinking pants jinx and stop the growing hair spell, both of which he had not yet neutralized.<br /><br />She stood over him with a grin. “All right, there, Malfoy? The long hair really suits you. You look a lot like your Dad, and he’s a very handsome man.”<br /><br />“Peachy, Weaselett. If I could have used a shield, our positions would be reversed, you know that.”<br /><br />“Of course I do. But one has to take advantage of the situation when one can.”<br /><br />“What a terribly Slytherin attitude for a Gryffindor!” Draco chided.<br /><br />“I grew up with six older brothers <i>plus Harry</i>. You will not find a more Slytherin Weasley out there. Ready for freedom?”<br /><br />“Please.”<br /><br />She cancelled the curses and helped him off the floor. He smiled, moved to her, held her head and kissed her wildly. When he stepped back, laughing, she was fully immobilized by a wandless, wordless Petrificus Totalis. “Gotcha!” he said, very pleased with himself. It was his turn to use Incarcero, and he broke her tree like fall with a well-placed cushioning charm. Freed from the Petrificus, she laughed without resentment.<br /><br />“I’m evidently nowhere near Slytherin enough for the likes of you, Draco Malfoy. Merlin, can you kiss! A git you are, but a fantastic kisser!”<br /><br />He grinned at her. “Anytime, little girl, anytime.”<br /><br />“No offense Malfoy, but I’ll pass. My fiancé might object.”<br /><br />“Michael knows that all’s fair in love and war…”<br /><br />The Greengrass girls had done mincemeat out of Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas, but Neville Longbottom was holding par with Blaise Zabini. They were verbally teasing each other, but without insults, fighting fairly and extremely well, using all they had learned that year. <br /><br />Paying full attention, he realized that all the seventh-year Gryffindors and Slytherins, though very competitive, were duelling without any true anger or resentment. It was a surprisingly pleasant development. Severus knew that Septima had done a lot of individual and group counselling with the snakelings, disguised as private detentions or as lectures on behaviour. She was a brilliant Head of House.<br /><br />Improvements had started at home, with his housemates’ attitudes toward Draco changing from hatred or resentment to acceptance, and had spread to a general change of behaviour of the Slytherins towards other Houses. It helped tremendously that Draco was now friendly with Potter, and that there were inter-house couples and friendships.<br /><br />Most duelling partners were taking a break from the physical demands of this particular lesson, but somehow, three groups had gotten together, and one fierce battle was still raging, with unusual allies. <br /><br />Granger, Malfoy and Longbottom were fighting Potter, Weasley and Zabini. Both sets of fighters made strong teams, relying on each other and using each other’s strengths while also using their personal knowledge of their opponents to full measure. There were squeals, laughter, yelps, taunts, and frighteningly fast wand work.<br /><br />Soon it started snowing heavily on the battle, around which Severus had prudently placed a large bubble shield against stray curses hitting the spectators. Harry glanced at him merrily, and Severus now knew where the snow had come from. Severus added a gale force wind, and froze some water on the floor, charming even more snow to fall.<br /><br />Soon there were cries of “Let’s stop!”, “Let’s quit, I’m freezing!”, “Peace!”, “My wand for a jumper!”<br />The bubble popped and winter completely disappeared, the six students laughing merrily, and hugging each other. Then something completely unforeseen happened.<br /><br />Granger turned to him and said grinning, “This mock battle was brought to you by the students of the best DADA teacher Hogwarts has ever seen, (Hear, hear!) under whose tutelage we have gone from disorganized, uneven duellists, to the finest fighters each of us could become, (Yeah!) and thanks to whom we would be able to defend ourselves, our friends, and our families against anyone wishing us harm. We are all in your debt, Professor Snape. Thank you.”<br /><br />And to Severus’s absolute astonishment, all the students stood, smiled at him and started clapping. As he looked from one face to the next, they all acknowledged him further, with a nod, a slight bow, a larger smile. The most surprising thing of all was that he knew they were telling the truth. That year, he had been a remarkable teacher. He smiled and bowed back to them. “Thank you,” he said, in the recovered silence. “It has been a joy and an honour to work with you all.” With perfect timing, the bell rang, and the students became students once more, rushing for their books and running out to their next class.<br /><br />Potter was last to leave, his smile warming Severus, and his silhouette, in his perfectly fitting clothes, the stuff Severus’s dreams were made of. Already the seventh-year Hufflepuff and Ravenclaws were filing in, and at the front was Justin, who winked at him and not so discreetly rearranged his hardening cock’s position in his trousers. Severus was reminded that it was all thanks to Justin, that he owed that young man everything, and quickly smiled at him, before repeating the short lecture he had just given the previous class, and pairing the students for duelling.<br /><br />Their strength and spirit were nowhere equal to that of the Gryffindors and Slytherins, naturally fiercely competitive, but they too showed very well, and Severus again felt pride in a job well done.<br /><br />That evening, Justin returned, and as soon as the door closed, rushed into Severus’s arms to kiss him. He smelled of soap, and youth and sunshine, and though once more Severus wished they had talked a little, he took the young man to his room and made love to him, figuring that when it came to sex, the best way was to teach through example. He sucked him to orgasm, rimmed him to babbling, and prepared him before fucking him until the boy collapsed insensate, himself coming deep in the boy’s arse.<br /><br />Severus could top. It was not Potion Science. It just was not what made him feel valued, fulfilled. As he lay next to the boy who was looking at him with awe, he felt empty and needy. He craved the sensation of completeness, of being possessed, owned, valued, that bottoming gave him.<br /><br />“Nobody has ever made me feel this good,” said Justin. “You are amazing. Why would you want to bottom when you can top like this?”<br /><br />“Because it is what I like best. You can do to me exactly what I did to you. You can make me feel just as good, you can top me just as well, it just takes practice. And it’s not such a bad thing to have to practice, is it?”<br /><br />“But why can’t we do it like this every time?” whined Justin.<br /><br />Severus looked at him to see if he was joking. Apparently not. “Today I concentrated on you, on making you feel good, on your pleasure. Sex, making love, is a game of give and take. I like, I need to be pleasured too.”<br /><br />“Well, I blew you and fucked you last time, so we’re even, right?”<br /><br />He was completely serious. Severus said, “And next time, it will be my turn, and now that you have been on the receiving end, I am sure you will do much better on the giving end.”<br /><br />“I know I wasn’t that good at toping last time. You don’t have to rub it in.”<br /><br />Not that good? That was a very kind description. “I am not rubbing it in. I was just pointing out that, having felt it from the other end today, you might be more aware, more able to do it well as the dominant partner, that’s all.”<br /><br />“I still wish we could do it like this all the time. I don’t see why not. You came, didn’t you?”<br /><br />“I also come when I masturbate. It doesn’t mean that’s all I ever want to do,” replied Severus, annoyed that apparently he was not reaching his teenage lover.<br /><br />“Yeah. This was definitely way better than tossing off.” The young man smiled, put his head on Severus’s shoulder, and fell asleep.<br /><br />Severus smiled ruefully. Justin was young and self-centered, but he had cared enough about him to notice him drowning, to reach out to him. There was more to this young man than a selfish lover. He fell asleep as well, loving the feel of the warm body next to his.<br /><br />He woke up Justin after he’d showered, cleaned his teeth and gotten dressed, hating to disturb him because he was so warm and cute in his slumber, to send him back to his dorm. Justin dressed quietly, half asleep.<br /><br />“Can I come back tonight? I want to put what I learned to good use,” he said, kissing Severus, mindless of his own morning breath.<br /><br />“Sure,” said Severus, happy to hear it.<br /><br />“See you tonight,” said Justin, smiling, as he left.<br /><br />He was sweet. And perhaps he’s taken in what Severus had said, despite the appearances.<br /><br />For the next two weeks, Justin came to Severus’s quarters every night. He was insistent they should take turns, though his progress in pleasing Severus was minimal. His blowjobs had not changed at all, generally pleasant but for the occasional tooth, but nowhere near satisfying. He declined to rim altogether, saying he hated it, but had started to prepare Severus by hand. If Severus came, it was thanks to the barely adequate hand job that accompanied Justin’s penetrations. The young man moved like an automaton, and came all too quickly. <br /><br />For the next round, he felt no shame being spoiled by Severus’s attentions, though rimming was now off the menu. Justin had had the nerve to protest, but Severus had simply replied that he would start again when Justin did. They usually did both nightly, Justin rushing through the first to get to the moment when he spread himself out, looked at Severus with a happy smile, and said, “Your turn!”<br /><br />Correcting papers, Severus sighed, and once again reread the note Justin had written to him weeks ago. It helped remind him of what was important in their relationship. They did talk, sometimes, and Justin had expressed quite clearly that he felt that Severus had given of himself enough, that it was time for him to take it easy, to do as he pleased. He had painted a lovely picture of them taking a year to travel, of Severus and he moving into Severus’ ancestral home and of Severus doing the potion research he loved so much. Severus had been touched by Justin’s description of him as a selfless warrior, done with fighting the good fight, and deserving of the spoils.<br /><br />Severus was looking forward to going from one of his homes to the next with the well-travelled youth, whose parents had taken to many places. Justin spoke French fluently! He also knew a lot about wines. It would be marvellous to discover Burgundy with him. Justin always became so animated and happy thinking of their future together. The young man really loved him. If only… Oh, well. No relationship was ever perfect, certainly.<br /><br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_</center><br /><br />Harry was confused. After their supremely promising conversation, he often caught Snape’s hungry eyes on him. He would smile at him, and see the yearning in Severus’s face. Yet, the man made no move to approach him, to take their relationship further, to even confirm that there was such a thing.<br /><br />Tuesdays, Harry went out with a mixed batch of friends, and found men to spend the night with easily, turning down the drinks offered him that came without coasters, having been told by Draco a coaster meant the offer was from a bottom. He always found a way to use the spell he and Hermione had uncovered in the library, and refined his technique to his partner’s preferences.<br /><br />If, in the midst of sex, he particularly enjoyed something done to him, he always managed to engage in an exchange that taught him the new skill. He often made further dates with the men he met, meeting them after he and Hermione were done studying, and ended up having some form of sex almost every night. He liked when he received a wizard oath instead of obliviating his partners, but never hesitated to do so when necessary. He was getting frightfully efficient at it, excising memories with the precision of a well-trained surgeon.<br /><br />He no longer found foot fetishes strange, having experienced from both ends the incredible pleasure to be had from massaging, kissing, lightly biting feet, and sucking on toes like small penises. Ears were marvellous, and for some, navels were a great source of pleasure, as were the palm of the hand, the inside of the elbow, the neck…<br /><br />If he found a partner that way inclined, he could kiss forever. Lips and mouths were amazing. He learned the delights of orgasm denial, of light bondage, spanking, back scratching, underarm licking, ball sucking, hair pulling, slow fucking, arse pounding, nipple play, and one day, in the shower, the weirdest one of all, water play. Not something he would do everyday, but his partner pissing on his cock and balls as he was about to come from a hand job had totally blown his mind.<br /><br />Despite their resolution not to, he and Marcus had met once more. A pretty grey owl had come one morning and had held out his leg to Harry. The note read:<br /><br /><i>An encore?<br />Dear Harry,<br />Just once more,<br />Come to me,<br />Like before,<br />Coventry.</i><br /><br />Harry had smiled. He really liked Marcus. He’d got out is quill and ink and grinning, had added at the bottom of the page:<br /><br /><i>Ten-o-four,<br />Eagerly,<br />I wait for<br />Craving thee.</i><br /><br />He had waited in a thicket outside Hogwarts’ wards until three after ten, rubbing himself through his clothes and thinking of fucking Marcus so that his cock was hard and ready, and had cast Divesto on himself and Impervious on the neat stack of clothes that resulted. He’d apparated naked and erect right into Marcus’s bedroom, where the man waited, just as naked and hard, sprawled on his bed.<br /><br />They had burst out laughing, and Harry had pounced on his friend. They’d kissed for a long time, and made love to each other all night, Marcus, this time, giving as much as he received short of the final act. <br />Three times that night, Harry had fucked him, the last time slowly and deeply, face to face, in the grey light of the early morning, their fingers entwined, breathing each other’s air, their eyes never leaving each other’s. <br /><br />As they both came, Harry had involuntarily, wordlessly, cast Legilimens. For a few seconds, he had known himself cherished, had felt Marcus’s deep protectiveness of him, had known how truthful the man was when he told him he was an extraordinary lover. He had felt Marcus’s ecstasy melded with his own, and had cried out at the overwhelming pleasure, closing his eyes and cutting the link.<br /><br />Marcus, in the throes of orgasm, had been oblivious of the short invasion. When saying goodbye, he had held his wand out to Harry to take the usual oath. Harry had smiled at him and kissed him deeply instead. <br />He’d said, “No oath needed, Marcus Lestrange. I trust you.” Harry had seen in the man’s expression how much it meant, especially with Harry demonstrating he remembered his last name.<br /><br />“You will never regret it,” he’d answered gratefully, and Harry had been glad for his involuntary indiscretion.<br /><br />Fucking strangers, he always reached orgasm with Severus on his mind, wanting the man terribly. Finally, one evening, after they finished revising for their NEWTS as they did nightly, and Harry having no assignation, he decided to mention to Hermione how frustrated he was getting.<br /><br />“I left the quaffle in his hands, Hermione, but perhaps it was a mistake.”<br /><br />“Maybe. You know I checked, and there is no reason for you both not to carry on a discreet affair, but maybe we misunderstood. Could it be that we read too much in his last conversation with you?” <br />Harry shrugged, dejected.<br /><br />Hermione added, “It could also be that, though an affair with you would be acceptable, he feels uncomfortable coming on to a student.”<br /><br />There were only a few people left in the library, and they had been speaking very quietly, but not quietly enough, evidently. Seamus had been packing it in at the next table, and flopped next to Harry.<br /><br />“The man’s in love with you, Harry, plain as day. He eats you up with his eyes, smoke comes out of his ears when you speak to Malfoy, and I feel his stare burning a hole in me back if I lean too close to you at lunch. I think Hermione’s got it right.” He clapped Harry on the shoulder. “If you want him, go and get him.”<br /><br />Harry stared at Seamus, flabbergasted. Seamus grinned and said, “What?”<br /><br />“What? Seamus! How did you know I was gay? How do you know <i>he</i> is? How do you know <i>who</i> we’re even talking about!”<br /><br />Seamus chortled and rolled his eyes at Harry. “Ever heard of a gaydar, Harry? I’ve known you were gay since fifth year! Almost offered you a blowjob a couple of times to cheer you up, but I could tell you hadn’t got a clue, then. As for Flitwick…” He cracked up at Harry’s horrified expression. “Ah! Got you! As for S-n-a-p-e, I‘ve always known. Him, Dumbledore, Lupin, Charlie Weasley, Zach Smith, Fletch, the ferret, the ferret’s dad, Zabini, poor Colin, Julius, and Angus, of course. All poofs, like us. Pings on me gaydar, loud and clear.”<br /><br />“I wish I had one of those.”<br /><br />“It’s a Muggle thing, methinks. Me mam is hardly more than a squib, never uses magic. I mean, me brother’s a Muggle! Fletch has a gaydar and so did Colin. Real convenient, that is… But back to your problem. You need to make an excuse to go see your man. Think of something, go, jump him, and Bob’s your uncle! Easy-peasy. G’night!”<br /><br />He got up and left. Hermione and Harry looked at each other and burst out in quiet laughter.<br /><br />“Seamus Finnegan; Relationship counsellor,” said Harry, smiling.<br /><br />“Well, I think he’s right.” She blushed bright red. “He was right about Ron.”<br /><br />“What do you mean he was right about Ron?”<br /><br />“He said Ron would never make the first move, that he respected me too much. So two weeks ago, hum… I , uh, apparated to the Burrow (It took me three jumps, blech!). I popped in his room. At midnight. With only sexy lingerie on under my cloak.”<br /><br />“Hermione! Scarlett woman you!” teased Harry.<br /><br />Hermione giggled. “It worked. Really well. Well, the first try was… quick. More than quick. Pre-emptive, I guess you could say,“ she giggled again. “But the second was a vast improvement, and by the third… well, I got what the fuss is all about, if you know what I mean.”<br /><br />Harry smiled big. “Way to go, Hermione! Has there been an encore?”<br /><br />She grinned. “Did you know Rosmerta has rooms for rent on Tuesdays? And on Fridays? And on Sundays, too?”<br /><br />Harry raised his eyebrows. “I see! And what about your NEWTS?”<br /><br />Hermione smiled a little smile, “I’m ready,” she admitted sheepishly, shrugging. “You know it, and well, I know it too. I still review with you, but there’s more to life than grades, you know? I love Ron. So much. He’s smart, and handsome, and sweet, and he loves me. We’re almost twenty, he has a great job, I’m getting out in a few weeks and starting with the Unspeakables in August. We’re grown-ups Harry. It was time.”<br /><br />Harry kissed her cheek. “I’m happy for you. I love you both very much, you know.”<br /><br />“I know. What are you going to do Harry?”<br /><br />“About Snape?”<br /><br />“No! When you get out. Do you still want to be an Auror?”<br /><br />“No. Not really. I’d like to continue studying defence, though, but I don’t want to work for the ministry. I have an application at Merlin University, in Glasgow, for the Mastery program. I really like Scotland. Professor McGonagall helped me: I’m applying with my real transcripts but under the name of Harry Black. I don’t want preferential treatment. I might not get in, they’re the best and they only take three students a year. I’m not sure.”<br /><br />“Oh, Harry! That’s perfect, don’t you see?”<br /><br />“What?”<br /><br />“That’s your excuse to go see Snape again! You can ask him to take you on as an apprentice in Defence, for your Mastery! Never mind that working with Snape you’d learn more in two years than you would at Uni in four. It’s the perfect justification for a visit!”<br /><br />“He’s never taken an apprentice. Not even in Potions.”<br /><br />“Uh, Harry, Hello! The man was a little <i>busy</i>! Potion Master, brewing for the hospital wing, brewing for St Mungo’s, teaching full time, brewing for Voldemort, spying for the Order, Head of Slytherin House, and let’s not forget, watching over you, a full time job, that one…”<br /><br />“Mmm. Good point. He was truly amazing during the war, wasn’t he. And now, he’s the best teacher we have. I’d love to study for a Mastery with him, to learn under him.” He grinned. “And to lie over him and learn to master loving him. Tomorrow night. Tomorrow night, I’m going to his quarters and not taking no for an answer. On either topics.”<br /><br />“Go, Harry!”<br /><br />“I’m scared shitless, Hermione.”<br /><br />“<i>The man’s in love with you, plain as day!</i>” she said in a decent imitation of Seamus’s accent.<br />Harry grinned. “Right!”<br /><br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_</center><br /><br />April 24th, 2000<br /><br />Justin had kissed Snape for two minutes, nominally licked his neck, sucked each of his nipples for one and a half minutes, and had been sucking his cock for six, running his hands over the pallid body all the while. He cast Lubricus on Snape’s hole, and started preparing him, which would take six more minutes. <br /><br />He would pet the man’s prostate with his finger as he kept sucking him, hopefully bringing him very close, then after that would push his dick in and fuck him, jerking him off with his slicked hand. Hopefully, Snape would come quickly, because Justin had yet to last more than three minutes at that. If he didn’t come with Justin’s dick fucking him (he hardly ever did, the old sod, probably needed a half hour!) Justin would finish him with the hand job as quickly as possible, and then they would switch.<br /><br />And, then… it would be heaven. Forget Hepworth, his first Slytherin, Blanchett, Finnegan and Blaise, and even Draco. Amateurs! Now, Snape could <i>Fuck!</i> He was… god, unbelievable. <br /><br />His blowjobs. Justin would swear Snape was able to do things impossible for normal people. Justin suspected it was because of his oversized nose. He would take Justin cock in <i>all the way</i>, the head touching the back of the man’s throat! <br /><br />If anything went pass the middle of Justin’s tongue, he would gag horribly, but Snape could take his dick way back there, and swallow around it, and suck. It felt incredible!<br /><br />His rimming… Justin could have cried when Snape had said there’d be no more rimming until Justin rimmed him too. He never had, anyone. Not even Draco. It was just… gross, unsanitary, spell or no spell. <br /><br />Hepworth had rimmed him, the first time, and Blanchett, every time. Draco had rimmed him twice, Finnegan three or four time, and Blaise, as many times as Justin asked. The first four did it because they wanted to fuck him. Blaise did it for love, to please him, and he was good at it, too. But Snape! His tongue had been long and strong, and agile, and <i>hot</i>. He had rimmed Justin until his brain had completely melted, nothing remaining but pure pleasure and a pulsing needy hole.<br /><br />And his fucking! His cock felt as good as Justin had suspected, hard, so hard, with a big head, and lasting power enough for him to sometimes come twice, usually just from the stretch, the fullness, and the pounding on his prostate. Snape called himself a bottom, but he was the best fuck Justin had ever had.<br /><br />That day, after he came in Snape’s arse (hardly after he’d even pushed in), and right after he had finished Snape with another seven minutes of handjob (twenty four minutes spent on fucking Snape, from start to finish), right when it was finally<i>His</i> turn, someone knocked on Snape’s door. Justin was pissed beyond belief.<br /><br />“Don’t answer it!” he begged.<br /><br />“I can’t do that, Justin. Until I am no longer a professor here, our liaison has to come second to my duties as a teacher.” Oh, fuck! Thank god he had convinced Snape he deserved to retire and live the good life.<br /><br />“But you’re no longer the head of Slytherin!” he protested. “Why do students keep coming to bother you in the evening!”<br /><br />Snape kissed him quickly. “May I remind you of another student who came to bother me in the evening?”<br /><br />“Well,” said Justin, flirting. “I had an exceptionally good reason to.”<br /><br />“The best reason yet,” said Snape, caressing Justin‘s back from toes to ringlets, making him shiver in anticipation.<br /><br />It must have been a good handjob. Snape looked happy, eager to pleasure him. The older man got cleaned up and dressed fast, using magic for most of it, impressive really, then kissed Justin’s butt cheek and said, “I’ll be as quick as I can.”<br /><br />Justin sighed and prepared to wait.<br /><br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_</center><br /><br />Harry knocked once more, and resigned himself to the fact that Snape was not in that evening. It was Friday, after all. He was gutted. It had taken a lot of his Gryffindor courage to come down there, and now, he’d have to do it all over again.<br /><br />He sighed in disappointment and leaned against the wall. Now what? He almost jumped out of his skin when the door suddenly opened.<br /><br />“Mr. Potter! Sorry I kept you waiting.” Snape looked really surprised to see him, but not put out.<br /><br />“It’s all right, Professor. My fault. I should know better than to just pop by. Am I disturbing you?” <br />The last thing Harry wanted was Snape to be distracted by some potion brewing in his personal lab or something.<br /><br />“If I recall correctly, I did give you leave to return anytime. And you are not interrupting anything pressing. Do come in. More problems with your magic?”<br /><br />“No! no. I mean, I’m still getting more powerful, but now that you explained it, I’m not worried about it,” said Harry.<br /><br />“I am glad to have put your mind at ease. Tea?”<br /><br />“Yes. Yes, please.” Harry was so nervous his throat was dry. He watched Snape as his elf, who apparently was always listening, showed up with a tray and served the tea. His dark hair was shiny and clean, his face pale, but not sickly, his impeccable frock sexy in its modesty. Harry loved the man’s disproportionate nose, his angular ears, perfectly tight against his skull (He wondered if Snape liked having them sucked on, having them fucked with a tongue…) and his sharp cheekbones. And that mouth! He wanted to make it smile, to kiss it, to explore it, oh, god! To fuck it… The long hand bringing the cup to that mouth was so elegant, so graceful. Snape was beautiful to him. Simply beautiful.<br /><br />“Mr. Potter?” said Snape, gently.<br /><br />The quiet inquiry made Harry conscious he had been staring at the man for some minutes. Their eyes met, and Harry could see nothing disapproving in the dark gaze, finding instead an answering hunger. Snape blinked, seem to get a hold of himself, and asked, “How can I help you this evening?”<br /><br />Harry took a deep breath, focusing back on the reason for his visit, and explained.<br /><br />“I have submitted an application to the Mastery course of study in Defence Against the Dark Arts at Merlin University.”<br /><br />“Surely you are not worried about them turning you down.”<br /><br />“It’s possible. I applied under another name.”<br /><br />“I assumed so, Mr. Potter. It has become quite obvious to me that you are not one to rely on your fame. Regardless, you are an exceptionally gifted student of the subject, and though their criteria are high, and the spaces limited, you will no doubt make the cut.”<br /><br />Harry felt himself blush with pleasure at Snape’s compliment. Coming from this man, it was high praise indeed. It made it easier to continue with his request.<br /><br />“I appreciate your confidence. Though their program is good, I was rather hoping for another course of study, however. I would be… I would be honoured beyond words if you would consider taking me on as an apprentice instead. I can think of no one I would rather study under, nor anyone I could learn more from.” Harry stopped, his heart racing. Please, say yes. Please.<br /><br />The silence that followed was stretching for the longest time, and finally, Harry could not resist looking up at the man he loved and admired beyond all others. Snape was staring right back at him. Was that pain in his eyes?<br /><br />“Mr. Potter,” he said finally putting down his cup, “the honour would be mine, I assure you, but… I am leaving Hogwarts at the end of the academic year, and intend to travel…”<br /><br />Before he knew he had, Harry had jumped up, upsetting the tray, which thankfully fell flat and right side up on the stone floor, with a loud bang.<br /><br />“You can’t leave,” he said, desperately. “Please don’t leave.” He was on his knees, in front of Snape’s chair, his hands on the arms, eye to eye, beseeching him. He blurted out, “I’m in love with you.” <br />Seeing Snape about to interrupt he pleaded, “Let me say my piece, please. If it is distasteful to you, I promise you I will never bring it up again. I can’t play this game any more. I <i>am</i> in love with you. You are the bravest man I have ever known, and brilliant, so gifted at so many things. I fell in love with you two years ago, through the writing of the Half-Blood Prince in my potions book, not even knowing who you were. <br /><br />“Since then… I’ve become attracted to you, physically, I… I want you, so much, all the time. I know I’m young, and awkward, and your student still, and I’ll wait if I must, but I am older than most men my age, and I am not deluded. You are… all that I want. Please, give me a chance. If teaching me would be too much, I’ll go to university. But don’t leave.” He let go of Snape’s chair and sat back on his heels, looking down, feeling completely empty, suddenly conscious he had made a scene. He added softly, desperately, “Please don’t leave…me.”<br /><br />Snape got up, and held his hand out to him. Now Harry felt utterly embarrassed, completely naked under the man’s gaze. He rose to his feet.<br /><br />“Harry…” He looked up at Snape and his heart soared. There was so much love in the man’s eyes. “You are a gift, Harry. Undeserved, unforeseen, but so, so wanted.” Snape took a step back. “Will you not sit, please? Your closeness is… nearly impossible to resist.”<br /><br />He doesn’t want us to be involved as long as I am a student, thought Harry, already knowing what Snape was about to say. He sat, ready to listen, ready to wait through the remaining weeks.<br /><br />“Do not think your feelings are unwelcome, Harry,” Snape started.<br /><br />Just then, a door opened in the back of the room drawing Harry’s attention to... a completely naked man, with his cock still glistening with come, his pubes matted with lube, hard, asking, “Severus, are you ever coming back to bed?” <br /><br />Oh.<br /><br />It was Justin Finch-Fletchley. He frowned at Harry. “Oh. Hi Potter. Sorry, Severus, I thought I heard the door slam. I thought you were done.” He was brazen, not in the least embarrassed. <i>He</i> belonged.<br /><br />Harry realized the depth of his stupidity, of his self-delusion. Not knowing where the strength to do so came from, he got up again, and said, walking backwards, “I’m sorry to have taken so much of your time, Professor. Thank you for your patience. Good night.” He turned and exited. Closing the door, he heard Justin say, “G’night, Potter.” Then, playfully, “Severus, I believe you owe me a fuck?”<br /><br /><center>_-_-_-_-_-_</center><br /><br /><a href="http://snarryglompfest.dreamwidth.org/976.html">GO TO CHAPTER THREE</a><br /><br /><a href="http://snarryglompfest.livejournal.com/13317.html">COMMENT BACK AT LIVEJOURNAL</a></centre><br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarryglompfest&ditemid=525" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentstag:dreamwidth.org,2013-03-03:1978740:490GLOMP FOR THE COMMUNITY2013-03-04T01:19:18Z2014-02-27T06:20:44Zpublic0<p><b>Title:</b> Lost and Found<br /><br /><b>Author:</b> Anonymous<br /><br /><b>Prompt Number:</b><br /><br /><b>Rating:</b> NC17<br /><br /><b>Word Count:</b> 77.4k (This part 17.6k)<br /><br /><b>Warnings:</b> Adult language, Anal, Bottom!Snape, EWE, Minimal switching, Non-Snarry pairings, Oral, Original characters, Powerful!Harry , Rimming, Slash, Solo, Spanking, Top!Harry, Voyeurism, Water play (not graphic), Hm… I think that’s it…<br /><br /><b>Summary:</b> Ridding the world of the Dark Lord has been the focus of Harry Potter and Severus Snape’s worlds for the greater part of their lives. Their identities were based on the roles they were called to play, and the sacrifices they had to make, to insure a victory for the Light. After the dust settles, both are faced with the task of finding out who they are when no longer a spy and a predestined pawn, and with going on with their lives to a future neither of them ever expected to have. But even once they work out what they need and what they want for their future, they still have to figure out how to get it, a task with which some will help, and that some would hinder.<br /><br /><b>Author's Note:</b> I would like to thank my betas, and . Any remaining errors are mine, since I can never leave well enough alone… I had a story that had been screaming to be told if I was given the appropriate motivation. It was a lot of fun to write, though I was a bit surprised by the staggering amount of smut the tale thought it required… It also contains some hard-to-miss references to another fandom my beta and I sometime visit, though they will go completely unnoticed by the uninitiated. (More at the end). </p><br /><br /><p> </p><br /><br /><p><br /> <b>Lost and found</b><br /></p><br /><br /><p>“Fuck…Fuck yeah!”</p><br /><br /><p>Even through the thick wood door to the Charm classroom, the voice and moans were loud and clear.</p><br /><br /><p>“Don’t stop! Don’t stop! I’m gonna co…Arghhhh!” </p><br /><br /><p>Severus Snape opened the door, and quietly stepped in. Now, he could also hear the sound of flesh slapping on flesh, and the slight scraping sound of the teacher’s desk moving ever so slightly across the hard wood floor with each thrust of the tight muscular arse he could not help but admire. The white skin seemed to glow in the pale moonlight.</p><br /><br /><p>Intending to interrupt the tryst with a maximum of impact, Severus made his way up the side aisle of the classroom hidden by a strong <i>Notice me not</i> charm. Ah. Malfoy, yet again. Though it certainly was the first time he caught the pale boy bottoming. </p><br /><br /><p>His legs were on the other boy’s shoulders, effectively hiding him from view, and his chest and belly were covered in semen, yet his cock was still half hard and his eyes closed in ecstasy. He was holding on to the front of the desk, and his words becoming more incoherent by the second.</p><br /><br /><p>“Fuckmefuckmefuckme, so good so fucking goood…”</p><br /><br /><p>The other boy was maintaining a punishing rhythm, his naked body gorgeous in its efforts, the lean muscles rippling under the sweaty skin, the forward thrust of his hips part of a graceful wavelike motion almost hypnotic in its perfection. He was perfectly quiet, apparently completely focused on fucking Malfoy senseless.</p><br /><br /><p>His hand left Malfoy’s hip, and collected semen from his belly before grasping Malfoy’s cock and milking it in time with the pounding he was giving his arse. Malfoy’s eye’s rolled back in his head, and his mouth opened on a silent scream.</p><br /><br /><p>“Come for me, Draco…” the order barely above a whisper was apparently enough to wring yet another orgasm out of Malfoy who ejaculated another load of semen onto his chest. The boy, buried deep in Malfoy’s arse, shuddered again and again with his own release. He leaned forward, letting Malfoy’s legs slide down along his arms, and took his mouth in a passionate kiss. He put an arm under Malfoy’s shoulders, cupped the blonde head in his hand and he sat him up, their lips still joined.</p><br /><br /><p>After breaking the kiss, Malfoy rested his forehead on the boy’s shoulder.</p><br /><br /><p>“Oh, sweet, sweet Merlin… That was…That was…” he chuckled, burying his face in the boy’s neck and holding on to him for dear life. The boy backed away, disengaging himself from the hug, and slipping out of Malfoy’s body at the same time. He bent down to pull up the jeans that had been around his ankles, and grabbed a white T-shirt that had been carelessly dropped onto the desktop. He gently pushed away Malfoy’s hand as it reached for his chest.</p><br /><br /><p>“It was a fuck, Malfoy. Just a fuck,” he said, not unkindly.</p><br /><br /><p>Malfoy looked stricken for a moment, then a mask of studied indifference fell across his features, as he let out a fragile chuckle.</p><br /><br /><p>“Yeah, “ he agreed. “Just a fuck. But a good one.” </p><br /><br /><p>The other boy shrugged, slipped on his T-shirt, and then turned toward Severus. The green eyes met the back ones, as if the <i>Notice me not</i> charm did not exist. Harry Potter acknowledged the voyeur’s presence with a nod, picked up his heavy book bag, turned and walked away.</p><br /><br /><p>“See you, Malfoy.”</p><br /><br /><p>As soon as he left the classroom, Malfoy’s face crumpled, and he buried it in his hands. As Severus retreated, he could hear Malfoy swearing softly.</p><br /><br /><p>“Fuck, fuck, fuck….” Then something that sounded very much like a sob and “Get a fucking grip, Draco. It was just a fuck…just a fuck…”</p><br /><br /><p></p><center><br /><br /><p>_-_-_-_-_-_</p></center>Eight months before…<br /><br /><p>Harry was glad, though he felt very guilty about it, that Ron had decided to work at Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes with George instead of returning to Hogwarts with Hermione and him to sit his NEWTS.</p><br /><br /><p>He loved both his friends more than anything, but could not help feeling left out when the three of them were together. Ron and Hermione’s relationship was powerful and <i>intimate</i> even if they were just all sitting around reading the paper. Their fingertips would touch, their eyes would meet, and they seemed to be in permanent silent communication from which he was completely excluded.</p><br /><br /><p>The constant bickering was gone, and Ron seemed to have gained a trust in himself that allowed his considerable intelligence to shine. Once upon a time it had only showed when he played chess. Now, he seemed to view and understand everything else that was thrown at him with the same cold and efficient analytical mind. Already George was relying on him for most of the business strategy and planning, devoting his own efforts to product development.</p><br /><br /><p>The three of them had spent June and July in Australia, finding Hermione’s parents and returning their memories, then travelling around the immense country. Harry had not wanted to come back. He could have easily stayed on working as a busboy in Hermione’s parent’s beachfront restaurant. They certainly had no intention of coming back to their dental surgeries. Australia and their new lives suited them very well. </p><br /><br /><p>But Hermione wanted her NEWTS and Ron was needed at the store, so they made their way back. During the remaining days of the summer, they participated in restoring Hogwarts. In the evenings, they flooed back to the burrow, where Molly, who was at first but a shadow of her formidable self, needed a full house as often as possible. </p><br /><br /><p>Ron, George, Percy and Charlie all lived at home again, and by Halloween, though she was now fashionably thin, Molly had recovered her warm smile and her easy laughter. It helped that she had Percy’s wedding to plan, and loved Audrey, her future daughter in law, like one of her own. The newlyweds would live at the Burrow for a few years, until Audrey was done with the Healer’s program at St Mungo’s.</p><br /><br /><p>On September first, they had all been at platform 9 3/4 to see Ginny, Hermione and Harry to the Hogwarts’ express, in a riotous send-off. A lot of Harry and Hermione’s old classmates were returning as well, some planning to review and take their NEWTS at a special session in December, others to do their whole seventh year.</p><br /><br /><p>Minerva McGonagall was acting Headmistress. She had refused to take on the position permanently until the current Headmaster, Severus Snape, officially resigned. He had been in a coma since shortly after his encounter with Nagini. </p><br /><br /><p>After being left for dead on the floor of the shack, Snape had somehow been able to call his own Hogwarts house-elf to him. The diminutive bat eared creature had not been the personal elf to a Potions Master for seventeen years for nothing. </p><br /><br /><p>She had doused him with his own manufactured Antivenin, enough blood replenishing potion to drown a small child, and some tissue-regenerating potion before even taking him to the infirmary. According to Madam Pomfrey, the elf’s quick actions had saved the man’s life, though he still had not regained consciousness.</p><br /><br /><p>Professor McGonagall had warned all the returning older students: they would be treated exactly the same, and held to the same standards as their seventeen year-old counterparts. There would be no special treatments or exceptions made, regardless of what they had been through the previous year. If they could not fit in, they would have to leave and get private tutoring.</p><br /><br /><p>Harry was thrilled. He was looking forward to other people being in charge for a while, to a warm bed every night, to Quidditch, to time with his dorm mates, and last but not least, to three wonderful meals per day. People at Hogwarts knew him and treated him as a regular person, or as close to it as anyone ever did. This was his one chance to be a normal teenager. </p><br /><br /><p>Having Hermione to himself was great. Though they had had that time together last year, it had been tainted by the situation they were in, and they had had much on their mind.</p><br /><br /><p>Now, he got to know her on a completely different level. She was incredibly witty, and loved to make very off coloured jokes, which she abstained from doing around Ron. She could have a terrible potty mouth, which certainly had never been in evidence before and of which he was, actually, the only witness. She, ridiculously, considering she was smarter than anyone he knew, treated him as her intellectual equal. However untrue it was, it also turned out to be incredibly stimulating and challenging. And she allowed him time to himself. </p><br /><br /><p>He loved Ron. But they had always lived in each other’s pockets, eating together, playing Quidditch together, sleeping in the same room. Ron had always wanted to share everything. When Harry told Hermione that he needed time to himself, she would smile and say: “All right. See you later,” and go back to her book. </p><br /><br /><p>She was also extremely proficient at decoding girl-talk for him, and explaining the fair sex’s behaviour. The number of girls who seemed to want to date him as soon as he got off the train, and how aggressive they were about it had really put him off. He had thought that his hope of being seen as Harry and not as ‘The Hero’ was in vain. Hermione just laughed at him.</p><br /><br /><p>“Harry, do you realize what a hunk you are?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Am not! I look the same as I always have!”</p><br /><br /><p>“Yes. Sure. Except that in the last six months you have grown a half a foot, and gotten contacts, and filled in quite nicely…”</p><br /><br /><p>He felt himself blush. He was 5’10” now, and had been working out with Ron all summer, hoping to get his spot back on the Quidditch team. He did like his newly found six-pack. But one certainly could not see that under his robes! As for his glasses, did that really make that much of a difference? </p><br /><br /><p>To be honest, he had to admit he liked the way the girls looked at him. But, to be entirely honest, especially with himself, what he really liked best was the way some of the boys looked at him... </p><br /><br /><p>Ginny and he had had a heart to heart at the burrow before his trip to Australia. She had been talking to Michael Corner a lot at the end of the previous year, and they had been writing everyday. Harry was glad he had not had to get into why he did not think their relationship would work…</p><br /><br /><p>Every evening after dinner, Harry went to the infirmary, just for a couple of hours, to sit by Snape’s bed, before rejoining Hermione to study in the library or in the common room.</p><br /><br /><p>While he sat watching Snape, Harry found himself talking, about the past, about his worries regarding the future. Sometimes he would read to him articles in the papers that now acknowledged Severus Snape as one of the greatest heroes of the war or he would read aloud whatever book he happened to be studying. Sometimes he would just look at him. </p><br /><br /><p>If was not until seeing Snape’s face in repose, the bitterness and the cruelty missing from his expression, that Harry had realized how young Severus Snape really was. How could a person go through so much, accomplish so much, suffer so much and still be less than forty?</p><br /><br /><p>Though he had intellectually known better, he had always thought of Snape, Remus and Sirius as being the same age as Arthur Weasley. They had all certainly looked as if they were his contemporaries. Twelve years in Azkaban had done it for Sirius, and Lycanthropy for Remus. He now supposed it was stress and guilt that had prematurely aged Snape. </p><br /><br /><p>Looking now at his smooth relaxed features, his skin had lost that jaundiced, waxy appearance, and his raven hair clean and shiny against the light green colour of the infirmary sheets, Harry thought he looked closer to thirty than forty. He wondered many a time what it would be like to meet him now, without prejudice. Would he look as ugly to him as he always had? What would he be like, now that he was no longer a puppet whose strings were pulled to the breaking point by two uncaring masters?</p><br /><br /><p></p><center><br /><br /><p>_-_-_-_-_-_</p></center>October 15th, 1999.<br /><br /><p>When Severus Snape woke up, he opened his eyes to a white ceiling. The air smelled of camphor and mint, not an unpleasant combination, and one he had always associated with Hogwarts’ infirmary. His body felt pleasantly relaxed, like after a hot bath, but it seemed to take an unusual amount of effort for him to move his head and look around the room. </p><br /><br /><p>The window not far from his bed was open to a lovely cloudless day. He noted, thinking it was significant though not entirely sure why, that the leaves on the trees were golden. He seemed to be the only patient, that quiet afternoon, and Poppy was nowhere to be seen. </p><br /><br /><p>She arrived in minutes though, heralded by the trailing of her long starched skirt brushing onto the stone floor, probably alerted of the change in his status by a monitoring spell. There was a gentle smile on her weathered face.</p><br /><br /><p>“Welcome back, Severus.”</p><br /><br /><p>He was not quite sure what she meant. The pain in his throat was intense, but he had no recollection of what had brought him here. When he opened his mouth to inquire, she covered his lips with a cool fingered hand.</p><br /><br /><p>“Don’t try to talk, dear, not yet.” She ran her wand over his neck. “Another week, I think,” she added. She had brought some water that he drank gratefully. His mouth felt full of cotton.<br /><br /><i>Another</i> week? As he was sipping the refreshingly cool liquid, he tried to focus and remember the reason for his hospitalization. All at once, the last few hours returned to his consciousness. He tried to sit up and to talk again but Poppy exerted some pressure to his shoulders to keep him lying down.</p><br /><br /><p>“Shh, shh,” she said, annoyingly, as he felt his body weaken and his mind drift to sleep. ‘<i> Quick slumber potion </i>’ his Potions master’s brain identified immediately. ‘That harpy…’ which was Severus’s last thought for a while.</p><br /><br /><p>Filius Flitwick was sitting at his bedside when he woke again. Severus knew the potion had only kept him under for approximately fifteen minutes and realized Poppy had used it for the purpose of keeping him from fretting until Filius arrived, ready to give him the information he sought.</p><br /><br /><p>“Lord Voldemort is no more and Harry Potter lives,” were Filius’s first words, and Severus was able to relax against his pillows as Filius told him first the tale of the battle of Hogwarts, then, to Severus’s dismay, that of the busy summer that followed and of the first month and a half of the new school year. The significance of the golden leaves on the tree outside finally registered. Filius patted Severus’s long narrow hand with his own short, pudgy one.</p><br /><br /><p>“You are all caught up, now,” he said, and smiled.</p><br /><br /><p>Minerva was next. She brought him the clipping from the Daily Prophet announcing his exoneration for his activities in the war, the thick parchment from the ministry that contained his pardon for the murder of Albus Dumbledore, and the leather covered box in which his Order Of Merlin, First Class, gleamed against dark green velvet.</p><br /><br /><p>She got teary eyed when she asked for his forgiveness for having ever doubted him. She told him he was needed and wanted at Hogwarts, either as Headmaster, as a Potions Master, or as the DADA professor, whichever position he preferred. </p><br /><br /><p>It occurred to Severus that at this point in time, he had nowhere else to go. So he agreed he would remain at Hogwarts, but only committed to one year: now that the impossible had happened, that he had actually survived the war, there was a whole future for him to plan and he needed the time to do it in. He chose the post for Defence Against the Dark Arts, as the least demanding of all three and she smiled. </p><br /><br /><p>He refused all other visitors. He did not need anyone ogling his emaciated body in a hospital gown: Certainly not any <i>students</i>, whomever they might be (yet, one morning when he woke up he found a small vial containing swirling silvery liquid clenched in his right hand).</p><br /><br /><p></p><center><br /><br /><p>_-_-_-_-_-_</p></center>After dinner, Harry made his way to the infirmary, as usual, just to be turned down at the door by Madame Pomfrey.<br /><br /><p>“I am afraid you will have to find somewhere else to study, Harry. Professor Snape is awake, and is not seeing any visitors.”</p><br /><br /><p>She closed the door and stepped into the corridor to speak to him.</p><br /><br /><p>“He’s awake?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Yes, Harry. He is awake.” </p><br /><br /><p>“He’s all right, then? I mean really, really all right?” </p><br /><br /><p>“Yes Harry. He is perfectly fine.” She smiled at him affectionately. She had told him how impressed she was that he had spend as much time reading and talking to the man after she had mentioned to him that it sometimes helped people in a coma. She told Harry she felt bad that Snape would not see him, but he had been adamant that he did not want to see any students, no exceptions. He was grateful she had not mentioned to Snape how many hours Harry had spend by his bedside. </p><br /><br /><p>As he left the east wing, Harry did not know how to feel. He was thrilled Snape had recovered, but felt bereft to be deprived of his usual time in the man’s presence, to be denied entrance to a room in which he had spend so many hours. He had known that, just because his feelings for Snape had changed, it did not mean that Snape’s attitude would be any different than it had ever been, but he had hoped at least to be able to talk to him. Now he realized that his daydream of a heart to heart with his erstwhile hated teacher had been just that: a dream.</p><br /><br /><p>He went to join Hermione in the library, and told her the good news. She took one look at him, and must have read something on his face because she sighed and closed her book. </p><br /><br /><p>“Did you get to go in and say hello?”</p><br /><br /><p>“No, he’s not seeing any students.” Harry was trying hard to hide his disappointment.</p><br /><br /><p>“Did you think he would?”</p><br /><br /><p>“I hadn’t really thought about it. I guess it’s stupid, but I … After all that’s happened, I thought…” He shook his head. “Never mind. I don’t even know what I would say to him, truthfully. I had just built this whole thing up in my head, of him treating me differently now that… you know.” He looked up at her, with a sheepish grin. “I told you. Stupid.”</p><br /><br /><p>“I’m sorry, Harry. Give it time. He might treat us differently after all. He just woke up. I am sure he has a lot on his mind.”</p><br /><br /><p>She was right, of course. When was she not? But he had not told her that, for a while, his visits to the infirmary, which had started out of a sense of obligation, had become so much more, that he had started to see Snape in a totally different light.</p><br /><br /><p>Since he had not even told her the true reason why he had encouraged Ginny to start dating Michael Corner again, his developing fantasies about Snape would REALLY make no sense to her. They certainly did not make much sense even to him. </p><br /><br /><p>A few days later, Minerva McGonagall announced to the students that Professor Snape would be returning to his post as Defence Against the Dark Arts professor after Halloween. Harry felt so relieved; he had to admit to himself he had feared Snape would just leave Hogwarts without looking back. Instead, he would be seeing him four hours a week for classes. He was in a great mood all day. </p><br /><br /><p>That night he put on his invisibility cloak and snuck into the infirmary. He watched Snape reading a journal article in bed, while drinking tea. He felt a bit like a stalker, but could not help himself. Snape’s focused dark gaze, his long thin hands turning the pages, and the movement of his Adam’s apple while he drank his tea were mesmerizing.</p><br /><br /><p>Harry kept watching him, even after the man had turned off his bedside lamp and gone to sleep. Harry had kept Snape’s memories until now. He knew why though he had not articulated it to himself in so many words. Had Snape left, he would at least have had something of his …forever. </p><br /><br /><p>But Snape was going to be around. Now he felt a bit ashamed of having thought to withhold them from him. He slipped them in his hand, and Snape’s fingers automatically closed around the vial. Snape was a Potions Master. Harry was quite confident the man would not drop a vial, even in his sleep.</p><br /><br /><p></p><center><br /><br /><p>_-_-_-_-_-_</p></center>When Poppy allowed him the use his voice, Severus was shocked. Gone was his beautiful melodious tenor. He now sounded as his own father had, from a three pack a day habit aggravated by the nightly consumption of a quart of cheap gin. Severus decided not to care, as he had decided not to care about the ghastly scars on his neck.<br /><br /><p>He returned to his quarters ten days after waking, and started writing his lesson plans. He wanted to start working as soon as possible. Thinking about his future would keep, for now. He ate in his quarters, not feeling up to student scrutiny, and only came out after nightfall, walking the Hogwarts grounds. God forbid he should stay indoors and meet wandering students. It would be bad enough facing him… them when he started teaching again.</p><br /><br /><p>He took his post as DADA professor right after Halloween. The classes were large, especially the First and Seventh years, but he hardly noticed. Maintaining discipline had never been a problem for him, even when he had been a scarce three years older than his oldest students. Even the Gryffindors now showed him absolute respect, so he never even had to assign detentions. He did not take any notice of the fact that they were all following the lead of The Boy Who Lived (and Died, and Lived Again) who had returned to prepare to sit his NEWTS. As the matter of fact he was hardly aware of the man… boy’s presence.</p><br /><br /><p>At night, he slept like the dead, ten, twelve, sometime fourteen hours. After grading essays, and finishing preparing for the next day’s classes, he would bathe and clean his teeth, slip on a nightgown, and slide his weary body between the fresh, clean sheets of his four poster, his mind shutting down immediately for the cool sterile oblivion of sleep. It was his favourite time of the day, and he regularly skipped dinner to be in his bed by seven. Later. Later, when he’d had time to rest, he would think.</p><br /><br /><p>Surprisingly, his classes were very popular. He instructed calmly, explained thoroughly, and expected the student’s best effort, which they gave him without reservations. It was a heady feeling to succeed in that area of his life. Addictive, almost. When not eating or sleeping, he dedicated his time to his lesson plans. He passed on his considerable knowledge and the students absorbed it like sponges. </p><br /><br /><p>Outside of class, he did not feel the need to speak to anyone. His colleagues decided that after all he had done, all he had suffered, he was owed some peace. So they followed Minerva’s advice and accepted (some more reluctantly than others) his monosyllabic answers and his retreat from social interaction.</p><br /><br /><p></p><center><br /><br /><p>_-_-_-_-_-_</p></center>“Harry, what is the matter with you?”<br /><br /><p>“What?”</p><br /><br /><p>“You haven’t heard a word I said.” Hermione was frowning at him.</p><br /><br /><p>“Sorry. What were you saying?”</p><br /><br /><p>“I was telling you, for the second time, that I was really looking forward to our DADA this morning. Our first class back with Professor Snape.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Oh, right.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Yes, Harry, right. And no, he still has not made it to breakfast. We should trade seats if you are going to keep checking every two minutes. You are going to get a kink in your neck.”</p><br /><br /><p>“I wasn’t checking on Snape…”</p><br /><br /><p>Hermione just rolled her eyes at him, and he felt, not for the first time that she was much too perceptive for her own good.</p><br /><br /><p>“All right. Maybe I am checking on him. No one has seen him in two weeks. Aren’t you a least bit curious?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Of course I am. We will see him soon enough. You know, Professor McGonagall offered him all three of his old positions back. I wonder why he chose defence.”</p><br /><br /><p>“People always said that’s what he always wanted. And how do you know this, anyway?” He looked at her suspiciously.</p><br /><br /><p>“Eavesdropped on her and Flitwick in the faculty lounge.” She answered with a shrug.</p><br /><br /><p>“What exactly were you doing there?” Hermione really amazed him sometimes.</p><br /><br /><p>“I was there to talk to Professor Vector about tutoring younger students in Arithmancy. She hadn’t arrived yet, and they have these reading chairs with really high backs in the lounge…”<br /><br />Harry shook his head. “You are unbelievable. What else did you find out?” Not that he was eager for Snape gossips, but…</p><br /><br /><p>“Sorry, Harry. Nothing else. Speak of the devil…”</p><br /><br /><p>Harry saw she was looking at the staff table, and turned around, just in time for his eyes to meet the expressionless black stare of Professor Snape, who looked away immediately.</p><br /><br /><p>Did the man look different, or was it Harry’s perspective that had changed? He was pale, and lean, and unsmiling. His nose was large and hooked, his hair lank, and his robes black and severe. He was …beautiful.</p><br /><br /><p>“Hermione, does he look different to you?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Younger. Paler. Rested?”</p><br /><br /><p>So it wasn’t just his perception. There was a change. (Though <i>she</i> hadn’t said beautiful…)</p><br /><br /><p>Harry had a very hard time concentrating in charms, and was out the door the second the bell rang. Hermione only managed to keep up with him because he had been so distracted and edgy she had been prepared for his quick exit. </p><br /><br /><p>The DADA classroom was empty when they arrived. That was to be expected. Snape did like to make an entrance. The students came in, and soon, as for all their classes, the room was full, every seat taken. </p><br /><br /><p>Exactly on time, Professor Snape entered, and walked to the front in his usual show of robes. When he turned to the students, the silence was complete. He scanned the room once, and immediately started lecturing. </p><br /><br /><p>They all sat in complete shock at the sound of his voice. It was deep, and raspy, unrecognizable as his. The vivid purple scars on his neck were all the explanation anyone needed but still, his melted chocolate voice had been such a part of his persona it was incredibly unsettling. His new voice, to Harry’s thinking, was unbelievably sexy.</p><br /><br /><p>It was a very good thing the subject matter was so interesting to him, and that Snape simply seemed to completely ignore his presence, otherwise he might have been too enthralled to pay attention. As it was, it was one of the best classes he had even attended. He learned more in an hour and a half than he had learned his entire first and second years put together. </p><br /><br /><p>Snape seemed focused on only one thing: the transmission of his vast knowledge on the subject to his students. He answered questions, explained things in different ways if there was some confusion, and at no point belittled anyone.</p><br /><br /><p>It was a testimony to his teaching that after they left the room, not one student mentioned his voice. They had been so involved in learning, they had forgotten all about it. </p><br /><br /><p>Except maybe for Harry. Who certainly recalled it very clearly that night, alone in his four-poster, curtains closed and silencing charms in place.</p><br /><br /><p></p><center><br /><br /><p>_-_-_-_-_-_</p></center>Severus Snape was aware of feeling completely detached from people and from his surroundings. He felt, vaguely, that he had earned the right. Eventually, he would take an interest again in …things. Soon. Maybe.<br /><br /><p>Outside of class, now that he no longer had responsibilities as Head of Slytherin House, he was oblivious of the students. When he was assigned patrol, he would walk around aimlessly for an hour or two, never noticing anyone, listening to the echo of his footsteps on the stones. </p><br /><br /><p>As he hardly ever bothered eating, his body became an assembly of bones. He took to wearing long winter undergarments, two or three sets at a time, to keep warm and maintain a modicum of shape within his swirling robes, but his long thin hands betrayed him. The knuckles stood out from the skeletal digits, and they were icy cold in perpetuity.</p><br /><br /><p>Poppy looked at him with worried eyes. Not needing her to fuss for no reason, he used a modified <i>Notice me not</i> spell around her, and she forgot to even look at him.</p><br /><br /><p>The snow came. The castle was marvellously peaceful for two weeks during the Yule break. He slept almost constantly in that period (recuperating, he told himself, for years of insomnia, forced or otherwise). Only a handful of students had stayed over the holidays, and it would have been awkward to be stuck socializing with him… them. </p><br /><br /><p>When not sleeping, he worked on his lessons in his rooms. The new term started, and he focused on teaching, and nothing else. It was demanding enough and he slept enough that he could not spare time for anything else.</p><br /><br /><p></p><center><br /><br /><p>_-_-_-_-_-_</p></center>After years of being angry for being singled out by Snape in every class he taught, Harry now would have given just about anything to catch the man’s attention. If he raised his hand in class he received as complete and as nonjudgmental answer as anyone else, never managing to even make eye contact.<br /><br /><p>As a result, he watched Snape constantly and noticed everything about him. He noticed that he hardly came to any meals, and that when he did he ate practically nothing. He noticed him going from lean and pale, to thin and pale, to emaciated and pale, only to note that suddenly one morning he seemed to fill his robes again. He might have been fooled, except for the man’s hands. They had always been long and elegant. Now, they were skeletal. How could no one else notice?</p><br /><br /><p>He mentioned it to Hermione. She looked at Snape and shrugged. “He has always been on the skinny side, Harry.”</p><br /><br /><p>He noticed that Snape never spoke to anyone. Not to the students outside of class, not to the teachers at the faculty table. </p><br /><br /><p>“You don’t know that Harry, you don’t know what he does in his own time.”</p><br /><br /><p>Except that Harry did know, because he stared at Snape’s name on the Marauder’s map for hours on end. He was always alone in his quarters, unmoving. Harry followed him on his patrol, not even trying very hard to be quiet, and Snape never saw him, hardly ever looking up from the ground.<br /><br />What was wrong with him? It was as if the only thing left of the man he had been was an empty shell. Only in his teaching did he show any life, but as soon as he left the classroom, the light in his eyes died, and he seemed to disappear. Harry did not know what to make of it.</p><br /><br /><p></p><center><br /><br /><p>_-_-_-_-_-_</p></center>January 7, 2000<br /><br /><p>Severus was pushing scrambled eggs around his plate at breakfast one morning when the first owl arrived. It was small and brown, and dropped a folded piece of parchment on top of his uneaten dry toast. His name was on the outside in a very elegant cursive. He opened it. There was only one sentence, which dragged him abruptly from his dreamy state into reality.</p><br /><br /><p>“Eat, you git!”</p><br /><br /><p>As he looked up and around, to try and get a clue as to the author of the note, he noticed for the first time in weeks the hubbub of student conversations, the smell of bacon, the presence of Flitwick reading the paper by his side.</p><br /><br /><p>Draco Malfoy was staring at him, but blushed and turned away when their eyes met. The boy had confessed to having inappropriate feelings for him almost two years before, when they had been forced to hide together by circumstances. Could he still be carrying a torch? Fool. </p><br /><br /><p>The weak and insipid child had held no interest for him, his washed out looks and imbecilic upbringing being no redeeming value. Draco never would have written such a note. He would never have noticed that Severus was not eating since it had no immediate bearing on him. Draco’s world pertained to Draco only, with no exception. </p><br /><br /><p>No one else seemed to be paying him any attention, neither student nor faculty. He read the note again, wondering vaguely why he had not been eating, but could not bother dwelling on it when the answer did not immediately come to mind.</p><br /><br /><p>He reached for a rasher of bacon, and tasted it gingerly. The richness of the flavours almost overwhelmed his brain, and he closed his eyes to enjoy the contrast of crunchy with chewy, salty with smoky. He helped himself to a serving of button mushrooms, spongy and elastic in his mouth (like the head of a cock, a thought which made him snort in a very undignified way), and half a tomato, tangy and delicious. He took a deep breath, and met Flitwick’s questioning glance with a shrug.</p><br /><br /><p>“The bacon is good today,” he said.</p><br /><br /><p>Flitwick’s smile was completely disproportionate to the triviality of the comment.</p><br /><br /><p>“It is, isn’t it?” replied the small man. He seemed about to say something else, but held back. He had the look of someone trying to figure out how to pet a unicorn, afraid to spook it.</p><br /><br /><p>“Hm… How are your classes, Filius?” added Severus, aware he had hardly said a word to the man since their one sided conversation in the infirmary.</p><br /><br /><p>Once again, the warmth behind the Charms teacher’s reaction surprised him.</p><br /><br /><p>“Very good, Severus, Thank you.” And as he had done in the infirmary, Flitwick patted his hand, his touch very warm. Before Severus had time to react, the diminutive man seemed to realize what he was doing and pulled his hand back, but the fondness remained in his eyes and smile.</p><br /><br /><p>“Yours, Severus?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Remarkably well, thank-you.”</p><br /><br /><p>“I am so glad,” said Flitwick. He stood up. The bell would ring in a few minutes.</p><br /><br /><p>“I will see you at lunch?” he asked.</p><br /><br /><p>“Of course,” replied Severus. He never missed lunch. It was a strange thing for Filius to ask, yet the small man beamed at his reply.</p><br /><br /><p>“Good, good,” he said. And with one last smile, hurried off to class.</p><br /><br /><p>Severus reflected that he had not spoken a word to anyone outside of class for months, and that it might have been keenly felt by those who still considered him a friend. He shrugged again, and made for his classroom, the note the owl had brought clutched tightly in his hand.</p><br /><br /><p>He left his office for his quarters at 6:00 pm, only to find another note stuck to the outside of his heavily warded door, protected by a <i>Your eyes only</i> charm.</p><br /><br /><p>“Come to dinner.” He collected the note and put it in his pocket.</p><br /><br /><p>Jostled out of his complacency, and since he still had not taken the time to figure out why he had not been eating, he made his way to the Great Hall, and forced himself to try some soup, which was delicious, and eat a thick slice of freshly baked bread. Pudding was Treacle tart, which he despised. He was about to leave when a small dish of dark chocolate mousse appeared in front of him. That, he could not resist, especially since it contained candied orange peel shavings. He had to stop himself from licking the bowl. </p><br /><br /><p>“Nice to see you enjoying your dessert,” commented Flitwick, kindly. Severus wondered if Filius was responsible for the notes, but decided the secrecy was not in his nature.</p><br /><br /><p>“My favourite,” he responded. “The elves usually only make it at Christmas.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Well, someone knows what you like.” Flitwick seemed inordinately pleased by that thought. He looked once again as if he was about to say more, but changed his mind. “Good evening, Severus.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Good evening.”</p><br /><br /><p>Returning to his quarters, he was surprised to find yet another note on his door. </p><br /><br /><p>“It’s only seven. Too early for bed. Go brew something.”</p><br /><br /><p>Though the thought of “brewing something” for the first time in months held incredible appeal, Severus was annoyed by the presumptuousness of his unknown correspondent. He ripped the note off the door in a huff, went in, and was in bed thirty minutes later.</p><br /><br /><p>Surprisingly, the mindless oblivion he had come to cherish did not overtake him instantly. Instead, he tossed and turned, finally spelling his reading light on and picking up a book from his bedside table. It was a biography of Rudolf Nureyev, a Muggle classical ballet dancer, which he had not looked at since before his encounter with Nagini. He finished the book by 11:00pm, shut off the light and immediately fell asleep. </p><br /><br /><p>He woke up the next day, feeling refreshed. At breakfast, Filius seemed glad to share his newspaper with him. He had a free hour before the seventh year defence, and went to see Poppy to offer his brewing services. She was thrilled. The new potions teacher’s Dreamless Sleep and Skelegrow left much to be desired, and could he brew Wolfsbane for one of the students who had ran afoul of Greyback the previous year? </p><br /><br /><p>The seventh year class had Slytherins and Gryffindors. He had never paid attention to the fact that, during practicals, they partnered within their own houses.</p><br /><br /><p>He reorganized them, pairing all the Slytherins, who were a minority, with Gryffindors. Afterwards he actually questioned his decision rather feeling as if he was back teaching potions, watching out for potential explosions.</p><br /><br /><p>Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter were particularly interesting to observe, Draco’s greater experience from years of private tutoring in duelling over the summers, and his willingness to use painful spells were an interesting match to Potter’s greater power and agility, as well as inventiveness. </p><br /><br /><p>Both were able to cast wordlessly, but after a few minutes, he realized Potter was also casting an occasional wandless spell at the same time as a traditional one, throwing Draco off his game. But Draco was fast, and ruthless. The duel ended when Potter’s wand arm was disconnected, and fell bloodless and useless, at his feet.</p><br /><br /><p>Potter’s expression was priceless, but he grinned ruefully at Malfoy as Severus reattached the limb.</p><br /><br /><p>“I guess I should be grateful it wasn’t my bits!” </p><br /><br /><p>To which Draco answered, not without spirit, “What would be the point to remove a body part you never use?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Hope springs eternal,” answered Potter, shrugging. They both laughed at that, and Severus felt pairing them up had been a good idea after all. He tried not to read too much (or get any pleasure) at what the conversation had revealed about the students’ love life (or lack thereof). </p><br /><br /><p>That evening, after dinner, Severus brewed for four hours, and went to bed feeling accomplished and optimistic. He wondered at the apathy he had felt in the past months, and felt a surge of gratefulness to the author of the notes.</p><br /><br /><p></p><center><br /><br /><p>_-_-_-_-_-_</p></center>For days, Harry had observed Snape and wondered what to do. It seemed that he was the only one noticing how bad the Professor had gotten, and the only one concerned about it. Snape looked more and more like a ghost, and Harry could not stand the thought of losing him, without ever having had a chance to talk to him, thank him, and see if his… infatuation was based on anything other than fantasy.<br /><br /><p>On a day when he had arrived early for breakfast, he watched for half an hour as Snape just sat there, oblivious to his surrounding, pushing his uneaten food around the plate. He suddenly felt resentful and angry. He wrote a few words on a piece of parchment, and not giving himself time to reconsider, ran to the owlery. </p><br /><br /><p>He returned just in time to enter the Great Hall with a yawning Hermione, and sit back at the now full table as if he had not been there before. His heart raced when he saw the small brown owl he had selected for the job drop the note on Snape’s plate.</p><br /><br /><p>Reading the note, Snape frowned and seemed to focus for the first time in weeks. As soon as the professor started looking around, beginning, not surprisingly, at the Slytherin table, Harry absorbed himself in conversation with Hermione.</p><br /><br /><p>Minutes later, he looked up at the staff table again to see Snape munching on a rasher of bacon and exchanging a few words with Flitwick. Harry could not help but smile, and immediately started to plan his next move.</p><br /><br /><p>Harry had been prepared for a long drawn out campaign, and was shocked to realize, after his third note, and only a short visit to the kitchen to suggest the elves cater for a while to Snape’s preferences, how little it took to succeed in bringing the man back to himself. Maybe Harry had been wrong and had only imagine the situation had been as bad as all that.</p><br /><br /><p>He actually wished briefly that he had not messed with a good thing when Snape started pairing him with Malfoy for each DADA practical, but it was short lived. Malfoy turned out to be a challenging opponent, the only one Harry had to work hard to duel with, and his skills improved tremendously. </p><br /><br /><p>Malfoy and he had reached some kind of unspoken understanding and now treated each other cordially. Of the previous years bloodletting, only mild, innocuous ribbing remained.</p><br /><br /><p></p><center><br /><br /><p>_-_-_-_-_-_</p></center>During the following weeks, though he still felt no compunction to think about the past, or plan his future, Severus at least started living again in the present. He ate regular meals, read the newspaper, discussed current events with Filius, and played the occasional chess game with Vector.<br /><br /><p>He was self aware enough to recognize that without his roles as an active Death Eater, a spy, and an irreplaceable asset to the side of the light, his self-identification was undergoing a serious crisis, but he no longer let it overwhelm him. He was learning instead to accept himself as an excellent teacher, and a friend to his fellow faculty members. He tried not to panic on the few occasions where he felt completely at sea. </p><br /><br /><p>He did not pay any particular attention to <i>any</i> of the students, nor was particularly pleased by the fact that <i>some</i> of them showed great improvement in their abilities, now beating their opponents at duelling more often than not.</p><br /><br /><p>He did start paying closer attention during his scheduled rounds, catching many a seventh year in romantic entanglements. He did not reflect on the pinch of anxiety he felt every time he saw the shadows of couples in the different hiding places they favoured. </p><br /><br /><p>The students were amazed at how understanding he seemed, and he did not acknowledge that the indulgence with which he would just send the students back to their common room (to their grateful surprise), was tinged with relief. </p><br /><br /><p>To Draco Malfoy’s disappointment, if his pout was anything to go by, Severus certainly did not seem to care that he caught the young man several times in very compromising situations. After a moment of tension, and as soon as he identified Malfoy’s partners, he seemed more amused than anything else, sending them away with nothing more than mild chastisement.</p><br /><br /><p>Almost two months after its first appearance, the small brown owl was back. The message was short, but touched Severus in a way he was unprepared for.</p><br /><br /><p>“You seem better. I’m so glad.”</p><br /><br /><p>He had given the owl a piece of bacon. Now he asked him to wait as he quickly jotted a note on the reverse of the parchment.</p><br /><br /><p>“I am. Thank you. Why?” </p><br /><br /><p>Why did you notice? Why did you care? Why did you bother? Why are you glad? The question was all encompassing.</p><br /><br /><p>Loaded with its message, the small bird flew back out of the window, giving Severus no clue as to the sender.</p><br /><br /><p>There was an envelope on the floor of his quarters that night, which had evidently been pushed under his door. It should have been impossible with his wards intact. Yet, there it was.</p><br /><br /><p> Severus,<br /><br />I do not have leave to use your given name, but considering I have already called you a git, I hope you will forgive me. I love the sound of it, when I speak it aloud.</p><br /><br /><p>Why, you asked.</p><br /><br /><p>Because I do not seem to be able to help watching you. </p><br /><br /><p>Because I did not like the way your dark and forbidding presence was fading away. </p><br /><br /><p>Because I missed the glint in your eyes. Though it so often was vicious in the past, even that would have been better than the awful flatness that had taken its place.</p><br /><br /><p>Because I love the elegance of your walk and the way your hands dance when you teach, and I was afraid to lose them. </p><br /><br /><p>Because though your old voice was beautiful and did sound like melted chocolate, your new voice drives me to distraction and sends shivers down my spine.</p><br /><br /><p>All of them entirely selfish reasons I hope you will forgive.</p><br /><br /><p>The note, alarming in its contents and what they revealed, was written in that beautiful cursive. It was unsigned, but obviously came from a student. The faculty had leave to call him by his given name, and would not refer to his teaching. It was not Malfoy’s handwriting, nor did the request for forgiveness sound like something Malfoy would ever feel he needed.</p><br /><br /><p>The handwriting and the sentiments seemed to point to a female student (hopefully a seventh year). Millicent Bulstrode? One of the Patils? Luna Lovegood? Miss Granger perhaps. She might be observant enough, and thoughtful enough. All of the possibilities were equally disturbing.</p><br /><br /><p>Whoever it was, it would behove Severus to nip the type of… admiration the letter represented in the bud, students being definitely out of bound, and female students not the least to his taste. He wondered how he could communicate back. </p><br /><br /><p>He decided to write on the reverse of the note, and stick it to his door, with the same <i>Your eyes only</i> charm that had been used before, keyed to the original writer.</p><br /><br /><p>He sat at his desk, and quickly jotted down what he hoped would be a sufficiently gracious yet very firm response as to what he believed to be inappropriate feelings. </p><br /><br /><p>Miss,</p><br /><br /><p>Though I am not unappreciative of your efforts on my behalf, and thank you for your help, it seems essential at this point that I should inform you of my absolute lack of personal interest in any of my students.</p><br /><br /><p>In that spirit, though I would grant to you the need to use such an appellation as “Git” to reach me through my lethargy, I will deny you the familiarity of the use of my first name.</p><br /><br /><p>Now that you have succeeded in your attempts at penetrating my apathy, I can only advise you in the strongest possible manner to redirect your attention and interest elsewhere, ideally to one of your fellow students. </p><br /><br /><p>In your debt,<br /><br />SS</p><br /><br /><p>He was pleased with the results. He was indeed very grateful that someone had noticed and actively done something to shake his depression, but a romantic entanglement with a young woman he did not need. That thought was accompanied by an involuntary shudder.</p><br /><br /><p>His name, on the letter the small brown owl dropped on his plate the next morning, was written in a spiky hand that closely resembled his own.</p><br /><br /><p>Git, it said,<br /><br />Far from me to use your given name once denied the familiarity!<br /><br />Dictaquills offer a wide range of possible calligraphy, the cursive you obviously thought of as feminine being only one of them. I hope this new handwriting will leave you in no doubt as to my gender. </p><br /><br /><p>The amazing thing about students is that, once they sit their NEWTs, they are students no more.<br /><br />Hopefully it is something we can both look forward to.</p><br /><br /><p>Respectfully yours.</p><br /><br /><p>Though he really felt he should have met such a letter with total disapproval, Severus was amused by it, and could not hold back a chuckle. </p><br /><br /><p>“Good new, my friend?” inquired Filius.</p><br /><br /><p>“Not bad news, certainly. Food for thought,” replied Severus, honestly.</p><br /><br /><p>That night, after dinner, he sat by the fire, a (small) snifter of brandy in his hand (it had, after all, been months since he had last indulged) and reread the note, denying the fact that he was trying to recall exactly what the letter slipped under his door a few days before had actually said. Whatever it was, it had been highly inappropriate, and he absolutely and unequivocally disapproved. Yes. Absolutely and unequivocally. </p><br /><br /><p>He was perfectly able to separate how grateful he was to his correspondent for interrupting his pathological descent into self-oblivion, from how completely disapproving he was of the student’s (Seventh year student, and male at least, thank Merlin!) unsuitable feelings, and his nerve. “Respectfully” indeed. He decided to throw the note in the fire. His aim was so poor, it landed, carefully folded in half, in his desk’s top drawer. Right next to the list of seventh year students, from which the girls had been magically removed. And which he <i>hardly</i> ever looked at. And on which four or five names were circled.</p><br /><br /><p>It was partially because his name was<i>not</i> circled on that list (since sadly, as far as Snape could tell from reading the Prophet, Potter was as good as engaged to the youngest Weasley) and because, after all, the brat <i>had</i> managed to rid the world of the Dark Lord, that, on the first evening of the Easter holidays, when Potter knocked on the door to his office, he let him in instead of sending him packing.</p><br /><br /><p>Potter must have sensed he was admitted on sufferance, for his behaviour was exemplary. </p><br /><br /><p>“Thank you for seeing me, Professor.”</p><br /><br /><p>“To what do I owe the …pleasure?”</p><br /><br /><p>“I… I have been meaning to talk to you for some time, but the occasion has never presented itself. I want to thank you, for all you have done for me through the years, and apologize.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Apologize? Whatever for?”</p><br /><br /><p>“For doubting you, again and again, as a member of the Order of the Phoenix. For not showing you the proper respect as one of my Professors. For making your life even more taxing than it had to be through my carelessness, and through my thoughtless behaviour. For not understanding that your attitude towards me was in great part dictated by the role you played. For invading your privacy.”</p><br /><br /><p>Well, that certainly covered a lot. Severus begrudgingly admitted to himself that it was well said.<br /><br />“I see. Apology accepted, Potter. Anything else?” If the brat expected him to reciprocate, he had another thing coming.</p><br /><br /><p>“Huh… No. Not really.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Then, thank you, and good night.” Snape held the door to his quarters opened for the bewildered youth.</p><br /><br /><p></p><center><br /><br /><p>_-_-_-_-_-_</p></center>Standing in front of Snape’s quarters, Harry felt completely let down. That had not gone at all as he had imagined. He had somehow hoped to get invited to sit, maybe given a cuppa. He was such a fool.<br /><br />What could Snape possibly have to say to him?<br /><br /><p>The Professor had looked good. His hands no longer looked like those of a skeleton. His skin was still pale, but healthy looking, without the sickly yellow tinge it used to have. His hair was still greasy, but who cared? If nothing else the entire episode had confirmed to Harry that he indeed sported a terrific crush for Snape. Was there anything he could do to get Snape to look at him as a man instead of as an annoying student? He pondered the possibilities, or lack thereof, all the way back to the tower. </p><br /><br /><p>“What’s the matter Harry? You look a little pale.”</p><br /><br /><p>Harry dropped onto the sofa next to where Hermione was reading. He needed to talk about this to <i>someone</i>. And who better than his best friend?</p><br /><br /><p>“Hermione, last summer, I… I’ve realized something about myself. I hope it won’t make a difference to you, that we can still be friends.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Harry, you could realize you’re a vampire and we would still be friends, though I would probably start wearing turtlenecks a lot more often.”</p><br /><br /><p>Harry chuckled. “Thanks. No turtlenecks necessary. I find I’m… Well, I’m not attracted to girls so much. Boys, on the other hand…”</p><br /><br /><p>She smiled at him. “Ron told me. He thought you might have realized you swung that way in Australia, when we were taking those surfing lessons. He thought it was curious how quickly you seemed to get the hang of it when you had a lesson with Kathleen, but that when David was your teacher, you needed to lean on him a lot and you had a really hard time getting back on the board when you fell in, needing to hang onto him an awful lot…”</p><br /><br /><p>Harry blushed, and grinned, embarrassed. “Ron figured it out? I thought he was oblivious… Yeah, David’s lessons taught me more about myself than about surfing. We even had a couple of remedial sessions in the surf storage hut, when we hand waxed more than the boards…”</p><br /><br /><p>Hermione sighed dreamily. “Mmm… Nice images… He was pretty hot, I must admit. And you’re gorgeous. I wish I could have peeked.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Hermione!” exclaimed Harry in a false chastising tone.</p><br /><br /><p>“Yes? Were you talking to me?” she said, pretending to be brutally brought back from a daydream, fanning herself with her hand. They both cracked up, but she sobered quickly.</p><br /><br /><p>“So, why are you telling me now?”</p><br /><br /><p>“I… I’ve kind of fallen for someone. I have no idea if he even plays on that team, and he certainly is completely oblivious of my... attraction.” Harry sighed. “How does one find out if someone is gay or not?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Hm… Good question. Gay Muggles supposedly have a ‘gaydar’ that helps them sense these things.”</p><br /><br /><p>“How do you know?”</p><br /><br /><p>“My cousin Justin. He is as gay as they come, he’s four years older than me but has been openly gay since he was seventeen. He’s an artist, and stayed with my parents in London when he studied at the Royal Academy of Arts for three months a couple years ago. He could tell if a guy was gay in ten seconds flat.”<br /><br />She giggled. “And would usually drag him in the nearest men’s room and fuck him against the wall in the next two minutes…”</p><br /><br /><p>“You’re kidding me!”</p><br /><br /><p>“No. I’m serious. He’s in a long term relationship with some older man in America, but said that both of them believe that as gay men, fucking whomever they want, whenever they want is their god given right; He said that fucking without the pretence of love is honest and efficient; they get in and out with a maximum of pleasure and a minimum of bullshit.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Wow. Cool. It actually makes sense, in a way. Why encumber yourself with a relationship if you just want sexual release? I wish I had ‘gaydar’. It would be fun to fuck around…” He shrugged. “But not with Him… I’d want more than a quick fuck. I really, really care about him, Hermione. And somehow, he doesn’t seem the type to accept an open relationship.”</p><br /><br /><p>“No. I agree.” Hermione smiled. “I think Professor Snape would be very possessive of his lover.<br /><br />Definitely the jealous type…”</p><br /><br /><p>“…Prof… How do you know…?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Come on, Harry. Outside of our trip in Australia, you spent every night of his coma in his hospital room. When he’s around you, you can’t take your eyes off him. A compliment from him in DADA, and you glow for hours. It’s not exactly hard for your best friend to figure out.”</p><br /><br /><p>Harry rested his head in his hands. “It’s ridiculous, isn’t it?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Of course not. You can’t help whom you fall for! Anyway, even I can see the attraction. Tall, dark, powerful, intelligent, quick witted, loyal, passionate, intense… He would be a great match for you.”</p><br /><br /><p>Harry smiled at her. “You really mean that, don’t you?”</p><br /><br /><p>She smiled back. “Totally. But how do we figure out if he’s gay? Where is Justin when I need him?”</p><br /><br /><p>“No way! Keep your cousin away from Snape! He’s mine. No one is fucking him against a bathroom wall but me!”</p><br /><br /><p>Hermione giggled again. “Harry, he’s over a half a foot taller than you. That would be physically completely impossible. The reverse though…”</p><br /><br /><p>“Uh… I guess so. But even though I’ve never tried either, I think I’d rather be the doer than the… do-y. That’s not even a word, is it?”</p><br /><br /><p>“No, it’s not. The actual word for the doer is a ‘top’ and the do-y is a ‘bottom’.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Do you know how embarrassing it is that you know more about being gay than I do?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Well, you could read up on it. But do be a little discreet. Being bisexual in the wizarding world is tolerated, meaning that people close their eyes to the fact that a man might cheat <i>on his wife</i> with another man. But being purely gay is definitely not on. Children are too rare and too precious. A individual’s homosexuality can be overlooked, as long as they are single and apparently celibate, but gay couples are routinely ostracized by polite society.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Oh. I didn’t realize that. So, if I wanted respectability, I would have to marry a witch, and carry on my gay life behind closed doors?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Exactly. The correct thing to do is to warn your future wife in advance, trade your sexual freedom for something <i>she</i> cares about and cannot have without you. In your case, it would probably be social or celebrity status. Then, you make sure to beget an heir and a spare before straying.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Well Hermione, I say: fuck respectability. I guess I have to hope my credit for killing Voldemort is enough for my homosexuality to be accepted. I lived in a closet as a child. No way am I doing it again.”</p><br /><br /><p>She gave him a big smile. “I am so proud of you! Now, come on, let’s go to the library. I need to talk to Madam Pince.”</p><br /><br /><p>It didn’t take long to get there, and though it was pretty full, because few of the students went home for Easter and the common rooms were noisy during breaks, Hermione’s habitual table was free. It was as if no one dared occupying her space. She dropped her bag on it. </p><br /><br /><p>“Make yourself sparse,” she said, before walking to the sour librarian’s desk.</p><br /><br /><p>Harry placed a strong “Notice me not” charm on himself and followed her. He was shocked when Pince welcomed Hermione with a smile. “Hello, Sweet Heart! How are you this evening?”</p><br /><br /><p>Sweet Heart? Pince called Hermione Sweet Heart? Well, Harry supposed he could understand that Madam Pince would love Hermione. She probably loved the books almost as much as the librarian did.</p><br /><br /><p>“Irma, I need your help.” (Irma? Sheesh!)</p><br /><br /><p>“My help? Honey, you could run this library!” (Honey now? Should he leave them alone perhaps?)</p><br /><br /><p>“I might be able to, maybe. But unlike you, I have not read every book twice.” Hermione smiled ingratiatingly. Madam Pince blushed and giggled. Harry had not even known the woman knew how to smile. And she had read the entire library <i>twice</i>? How old was she, anyway?</p><br /><br /><p>“True, true. But I started before you were born, and you are giving me a good run for my money! What do you need, dear?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Well. I am attracted to this boy…” said Hermione in a confidential tone.</p><br /><br /><p>“Oooooh! Goody! Now I’m interested!”</p><br /><br /><p>It was Hermione’s turn to giggle. She was a terrific actress.</p><br /><br /><p>“Well, Irma, that’s the problem: I’m not so sure that <i>he</i> is. There have been rumours about him, and… well I just want to know for sure if he is, hmm, or... you know… not. I don’t want to misinterpret his friendship and make a fool of myself. Is there a potion or a spell to determine accurately, well, hmm…which team a… gentleman plays for?”</p><br /><br /><p>Irma Pince leaned over the counter and said quietly, “Well sweetie, if it’s Justin Fitch-Fletchley or Blaise Zabini, you won’t need a spell: They like <i>studying</i> in that booth in the back, next to the Greek manuscripts stacks? And well, let’s just say that it’s a very appropriate location for what their learning technique. After I once returned Euclid’s Treaty at the wrong time (they never even noticed me!), I handed the poor dears a booklet on Distraction and Repelling charms to use along with their very good Silencing charm. Amazing how now, sometimes, people come here wanting to borrow Sophocles’ work, and leave without it!” She giggled again. Did all women giggle?</p><br /><br /><p>“Phew! No, thank Merlin, it’s neither of them!” said Hermione. “But how do I find out…”</p><br /><br /><p>“Well, there is a spell, love, but I remember something inconvenient about it. I’m not sure what now. Hmm… let me think. I’m fairly positive it’s in De Deici’s ‘Discovering Dissimulated Details Dissertation’, but it might be in Frederic Fennel’s ‘Finding out Frightful Facts From Friends and Family’. I’m sure it’s one or the other. Try De Deici first. Good luck!”</p><br /><br /><p>They walked away from the desk. “You seem really good friends with her. How come she doesn’t know about you and Ron?”</p><br /><br /><p>“You heard her, she is the worst gossip! I’d never tell her anything unless I wanted the whole school to know.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Yeah. Fitch-Fletchley and Zabini… Who knew?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Well, I’d heard about Finch- Fletchley and Malfoy. I guess Justin gets around.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Did you say Malfoy?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Yes, Malfoy. But he will go after anything with a heartbeat, so that’s hardly surprising.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Really?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Oh, Harry, where have you been?”</p><br /><br /><p>“I don’t know. Busy killing dark wizards, maybe?” They had gotten to the Information Spells section. “I’ll find Frederic Fennel’s, you look for De Deici, OK?”</p><br /><br /><p>“All right. Meet you back at my study table.”</p><br /><br /><p>It took very little time for Harry to find the tome he was looking for. It was thick, but the print was quite large and modern. Sitting across from Hermione’s spot, he started looking for an index, first at the front then at the back. Thank Merlin there was one! So many of the magical books did not have any, it was a relief. However, it was quite disorganized, most of the Spells listed idiotically under ‘Spells’ and most of those not in any logical order.</p><br /><br /><p>Spell to find out what ails a friend<br /><br />Spell to discover who has a secret love<br /><br />Spell to figure out if a girl is pure<br /><br />Spell to accurately guess a woman’s weight<br /><br />Spell to find out if a wizard dies his hair<br /><br />Spell to uncover…</p><br /><br /><p>“I’ve got it!” Said Hermione to his relief. He would have had three pages of ‘Spells’ to get through… He closed his book, and she turned her thin volume so they could both read.</p><br /><br /><p><i>OF SEXUAL PERVERSION:<br /><br />The simplest manner to uncover a subject’s secret sexual perversion is to perform </i>Sexualitas Revelio<i> on said subject, accompanied by a sharp downward flick from the wrist, followed by a long spiral counter clockwise with the tip of the wand. (Strongly magic individuals should be able to cast it wandlessly while concentrating on the subject’s hair.)<br /><br />It is best performed from behind, as the results will show on the subject’s hair at the back of the neck. (Results will remain in evidence until </i>Finite Incantatem<i> is used. They will then fade more or less rapidly depending on individual cases.) </i><br /><br />Simplified Interpretation table is as follows: (In case of befuddling results, see complete table, appendix XXI-c*)</p><br /><br /><p><br /> <i>Love of sexual congress with mammalian beasts (Sheep, goats, dogs and the like): Purple</i><br /><br />Love of sexual congress with non-mammalian beasts (Penguins, snakes, and the like): Lilac<br /><br />Love of feet: Bright Yellow<br /><br />Love of sexual congress with children, male: Pale Blue<br /><br />Love of sexual congress with children, Female: Pale Pink<br /><br />Love of pain, received: Snow White<br /><br />Love of pain, given: Carbon Black<br /><br />Love of sexual congress with partners of the same sex: Blood Red<br /><br />Love of restraints, on oneself: Orange<br /><br />Love of restraints, on partner: Lime green<br /><br />Love of foul language, heard or spoken: Dove Grey<br /><br />Love of sexual congress with cadavers: Emerald Green<br /></p><br /><br /><p>“I am so glad that homosexuality is considered a perversion,” said Harry sarcastically, “especially when it is grouped together with bestiality, paedophilia and necrophilia…”</p><br /><br /><p>“De Deici wrote this in… 1720, Harry,” said Hermione, who had quickly checked.</p><br /><br /><p>“And your point is?”</p><br /><br /><p>She sighed. “You’re right, of course. But you know what I mean.”</p><br /><br /><p>“I suppose. After all, in those days, they would have burned you at the stake along with Crookshank’s, so it all makes sense.”</p><br /><br /><p>“You know I agree with you, so cut it out,” snapped Hermione. “You have a Muggle ID. Next time you get a chance, vote in Muggle Britain. Go to the Pride Parade. Better yet, earn a seat on the Wizengamot, and change the laws in our world. Use your fame to become Minister of Magic and change them. Taking it out on me is pointless.”</p><br /><br /><p>“I’m sorry, Hermione. I do think you would do a much better job as Minister of Magic, and then you could combat all forms of discrimination, and I’d back you up with my so called fame. How is that?”</p><br /><br /><p>Hermione smiled. “Sounds good.”</p><br /><br /><p>Harry looked again at the book. “Do you think this works?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Probably. De Deici’s spells are pretty reliable. We could always try it out.”</p><br /><br /><p>Harry’s smile was wicked. “Draco Malfoy is sitting two tables behind you…”</p><br /><br /><p>Hermione giggled. “Oooh! Go for it! Can you do it wandlessly? I’ll reverse it.”</p><br /><br /><p>Harry concentrated on the pale silvery blond hair, both hands on evidence on the table. He whispered, “Sexualitas revelio!”</p><br /><br /><p>A thin band of orange, a large one of red and a thin grey one appeared on Malfoy’s hair. Hermione turned around and did a quick “Finite Incantatem”, keeping her wand out of sight. Malfoy’s hair faded back to normal.</p><br /><br /><p>“Doesn’t mind being tied up, definitely likes same sex partners, and talks dirty in bed,” interpreted Harry. “Well, no surprises there. My hair would probably look pretty much the same… At least, we know it works.”</p><br /><br /><p>“You don’t mind being tied up?” asked Hermione, grinning.</p><br /><br /><p>Harry grinned back and shrugged. “I don’t know. I think it could be fun. Not all the time, but, you know, occasionally. Ask me again when I’m no longer a blushing virgin. I’ll probably know more then.”<br /><br />Hermione nodded. “Good point.” She sighed. “What the heck do <i>we</i> now.” </p><br /><br /><p>Harry chuckled. “Do I need to have a talk with Ron?”</p><br /><br /><p>She blushed and hit him on the arm. “Oh, hush. We’ve only been dating ten months, and for eight of those, we’ve only seen each other a few hours on the weekend. I’m going to join him all of next week though…” She wiggled her eyebrows.</p><br /><br /><p>Harry laughed quietly. “Yeah. At the Burrow. Good luck with that!” </p><br /><br /><p>Hermione let out another theatrical sigh, then join him in quiet laughter.</p><br /><br /><p>“So. How are you going to cast the spell on Snape? You can’t do it when other people are around, or someone might notice, even if you reverse it quickly…”</p><br /><br /><p>“When I think of the number of detentions I had with him…”</p><br /><br /><p>“Well, he doesn’t give detentions any more. We could tag team him in class, when people are concentrating on each other.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Yes, and Malfoy will cut off my bits while I stare at Snape.” Harry shivered. “Besides, that’s two weeks away. I want to know now!”</p><br /><br /><p>“Hey! Isn’t the full moon in just a couple of days? I know Snape brews Wolfsbane still, for someone in school. I was there two months ago when he brought some with the usual array of potions to Madam Pomfrey. He will need fresh aconitum root for that, and that means a trip to the forbidden forest.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Hmm. I’ve seen him go in there occasionally with his herb basket in the late afternoon. How fresh does it have to be?”</p><br /><br /><p>“I’m not sure. We should keep watch.”</p><br /><br /><p>“I can fly and watch from the pitch in the early afternoon.”</p><br /><br /><p>“We can go visit Hagrid and have tea on the steps, and I can study under the big oak after if the weather’s nice.”</p><br /><br /><p>“All right. We got us a plan!”</p><br /><br /><p>Hermione checked out the book, and they left the library, talking and joking around. Playfully, Harry got out his wand and cast the revelio spell on Hermione. He stopped in his tracts.</p><br /><br /><p>“It didn’t work!”</p><br /><br /><p>She grinned. “I’m just not a pervert, that’s all.” She cast it on him. There were no results. “Oh,” she said disappointed. “It didn’t work on you either!”</p><br /><br /><p>“But it worked on Malfoy!”</p><br /><br /><p>Hermione had the book out of her bag already, and started reading the whole entry again. “I don’t get it. I did it right!”</p><br /><br /><p>“Well, we’re befuddled. Why don’t you turn to appendix Twenty two C Asterisk?” said Harry.</p><br /><br /><p>Hermione flipped through the appendices. “Here is XXII-a, XXII-b, XXII-c. It’s really long, six pages. The next one is XXIII! There’s no XXII-c*! …Oh, I’m so stupid. The asterisk refers to the footnote, of course.”</p><br /><br /><p><br /> <i>*This spell will not work on the innocent. Only deviant behaviour previously engaged in will cause the spell to react.</i><br /></p><br /><br /><p>“Well. No wonder. We are both ‘innocent’. It reacts to actions, not desires,” she concluded.<br /><br />“Phew! I thought we were back to the starting line. We should both try it on a couple more people, just to be one hundred percent sure it works, though.”</p><br /><br /><p>“It is kind of violating people’s privacy, Harry. I’m not sure that’s right.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Just do random people, until you get three reactions, and don’t pay attention to the colours that appear if they do. Well, except dark green. If someone has already done <i>that</i>, it might make sense to find out where they found the body, and what they did with it afterwards. Brrr. That’s so creepy.”</p><br /><br /><p>Hermione made a face. “Creepy is not the word I’d use. I think it’s frightening, in a world where you’d only need a well aimed ‘Avada Kedavra’ to find a date…”</p><br /><br /><p>Hermione’s first try was on Dean, who was playing exploding snaps with Neville, Parvati and Seamus. She hit the back of his head from sight, pretending to check his hand, and cast wandlessly. Snape would have been proud. Dark blue and dove grey. Harry cancelled the spell.</p><br /><br /><p>Harry stood behind Parvati. Nothing. He moved on to Seamus. Good god! It was a bloody rainbow! Hermione had cleared it before he even had time to note all the colours. Red had been one of them though…<br /><br />Hermione tried the spell on Neville. Nothing. Ginny called Hermione over for some help with her Arithmancy. Hermione used the occasion to cast the spell again. Bright pink, lime green, dove grey, Harry had it fading out of her hair before it finished showing all its colours. Wow. No wonder Michael Corner was in such a good mood lately.</p><br /><br /><p>Harry decided they had enough experience with the spell. It did feel like a violation of privacy and it obviously worked.</p><br /><br /><p>The next afternoon, he went flying for a while, then he and Hermione went to Hagrid’s for tea. The weather was fine and their friend thought nothing of them wanting to sit on his stairs in the sun. </p><br /><br /><p>He’d gone in for some more hot water, and called Harry for help with the milk jug. When they came back out, Snape was walking towards the forest and Hermione had her wand pointing at him.</p><br /><br /><p>“Hermione! What’re you doing!” asked Hagrid, quickly stepping between her and Snape.</p><br /><br /><p>Hermione turned a bright shade of red. “I, uh…” </p><br /><br /><p>Seeing how embarrassed she was, Hagrid jumped to the wrong conclusion and asked gently, “Are you sweet on the Professor, Hermione?”</p><br /><br /><p> “Well…”</p><br /><br /><p>“Were you trying to cast something as for him to take notice of you?”</p><br /><br /><p>The big man patted her on the shoulder, almost bringing her to her knees. “Oh, I’m sorry, Hermione, but there’d be no point. Professor Snape doesn’t have Lady friends. His interest goes the other way, if you catch my meaning.”</p><br /><br /><p>Harry’s heart soared. “You mean he’s gay.”</p><br /><br /><p>Hagrid frowned, annoyed at himself. “I shouldn’t have said that, me. You two remember how many people wanted me fired when I started teaching? The same goes for people like the Professor. Forget I said anything, okay Harry? Hermione?”</p><br /><br /><p>Harry loved the big man, and hated to see him so concerned. “Hagrid, Hermione is not sweet on the Professor. I am.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Oh, well, it’s all good then,” Hagrid said, smiling at Hermione. Then he turned to Harry. “Wait, you are?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Yes, Hagrid. I’m gay too.”</p><br /><br /><p>“I knew that! I meant sweet on the Professor! I thought you and him didn’t like each other much!”</p><br /><br /><p>“I cannot speak for him, but I didn’t for a long time. Then I changed my mind little by little last year, and saw his memories, and now I realize the kind of man he is and well… But, what do you mean you knew I was gay?”</p><br /><br /><p>Hagrid looked embarrassed. “Ah! Harry. Don’t worry about it.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Hagrid! Come on! Tell me!”</p><br /><br /><p>“Now don’t be mad, Harry, but it’s your smell.”</p><br /><br /><p>“My smell?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Yes. Giants have a good nose for them things. It’s the phe-ro-mones, Professor Dumbledore told me. Girls have them that smell good to boys, and boys have them that smell good to girls. Except a few boys, who have some as smell good to other boys. And they’re the boys I run into, hiding in the giant pumpkins, or behind the broom shed…”</p><br /><br /><p>“So you’ve known…”</p><br /><br /><p>“Since you hit puberty. Same as the Professor, and all the rest of yous.”</p><br /><br /><p>“That’s amazing!”</p><br /><br /><p>“It makes me kinda sad, sometimes, like when I hear one of yous be getting married. Unfair, it is. But what can you do? Life is awful hard for them that don’t blend in.”</p><br /><br /><p>“I don’t intend to blend in, Hagrid.”</p><br /><br /><p>Hagrid smiled big. “I’d never expect it of you, Harry. And it’s good. People might take notice and change their view a bit.”</p><br /><br /><p>“That’s what I thought too, Hagrid,” said Hermione. “For once, Harry’s fame might be worth something.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Well. It doesn’t matter really,” said Harry, coming back to more urgent concerns. “The man will never notice me.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Oh, don’t be daft, Harry. It’s like the flowers and the bees, ain’t it, them pheromones things?”</p><br /><br /><p>Harry had no idea what Hagrid was talking about. “Uh… What?”</p><br /><br /><p>“The beautiful petals, the pretty smells… Or the unicorn, prancing, showing off their horn…“</p><br /><br /><p>Harry was still clueless. Hermione sighed, taking pity on him. </p><br /><br /><p>“Attraction, Harry. The flowers emit pheromones that smell good to the bees, and have petals in colours that attract them. The unicorns have mating behaviours, where the males show off their physical attributes. I think Hagrid is saying you should make yourself attractive to the Professor, dress a way that might please him, and show yourself at your best to him.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Yes. Exactly what she says,” said Hagrid, nodding wisely.</p><br /><br /><p>“Oh. All right. I can try that. Thanks Hagrid.”</p><br /><br /><p>“You’re welcome, Harry.”</p><br /><br /><p></p><center><br /><br /><p>_-_-_-_-_-_-_</p></center>Severus had planned on stopping by Hagrid’s for tea, but noticed the Know-it-all sitting on the steps, a cup in her hand. A shame that. He really enjoyed the big man’s company. He was very intelligent behind his gruff exterior, and amazingly knowledgeable about the flora and fauna of the forest. If he looked back a few times, it was only because Hagrid’s new round cottage looked so idyllic in the afternoon light. Not to catch a glimpse of whom else might be present for tea.<br /><br /><p>He collected the Aconitum root he needed for the Wolfsbane potion, lucked upon a handful of unicorn mane hair caught in the bark of a tree, found a half a basket worth of chanterelles he would give to the elves in the kitchen to cook something with, scraped some Merkle blue moss off a rock for which he was sure to have some use eventually, and gathered a tight round bouquet of Lily of the valley he knew was Septima Vector’s favourite flower. He walked out of the forest enjoying their scent.</p><br /><br /><p>Septima was a Slytherin, and therefore her quarters were in the East wing like his, though hers were on the ground floor. He knocked on her door, admiring her wards. His elderly colleague opened it herself.</p><br /><br /><p>“Severus, how nice to see you. Would you care for tea?” She moved out of the way and gestured invitingly.</p><br /><br /><p>“Thank you, Septima,” said Snape, entering. “Tea would be fine. I saw a patch of these in the forest and seemed to recall you are partial to them, so I took the liberty of gathering this small bouquet for you.”</p><br /><br /><p>She smiled a genuine smile and its warmth melted something in Severus who tentatively smiled back. The unusual expression felt a bit odd, but not uncomfortable, and the fondness he saw in the warm brown eyes made its attempt worthwhile.</p><br /><br /><p>“Make yourself comfortable Severus. I’ll be back in a tick.”</p><br /><br /><p>He sat in a well worn loveseat by the fire, and wondered, idly, observing how everything in Septima’s quarters looked well loved, how long the woman had been teaching at Hogwarts, and if it would be rude to ask.</p><br /><br /><p>When she brought the tea tray, he looked at her analytically, trying to guess her age.</p><br /><br /><p>Probably close to Albus’s, he thought. 130? 140? She could have lived in these quarters for a century!<br /><br />Her china was exquisite, appropriately hand painted with tea roses and rimmed in pale green. His bouquet, now in a beautiful silver vase, took center stage on the tray. The tea was excellent and beautifully fragrant of orange peel and bergamot.</p><br /><br /><p>“I have been meaning to thank you for taking over the duties of Head of Slytherin House,” said Severus. </p><br /><br /><p>“After the last few years, I find myself enjoying greatly my diminished responsibilities.”</p><br /><br /><p>“This is my fourth stint at it. The role seems to fall on me every twenty years or so. I usually enjoy it for five years, and put up with it another two or three, then I like to pass it on. I was amazed you managed to last as long as you did especially with everything else going on in your life, and doing such a splendid job of it. After a year and a half, our snakelings still miss you. You are a tough act to follow.”</p><br /><br /><p>Severus was extraordinarily gratified to hear that. He had given a lot to his House.</p><br /><br /><p>“Thank you, Septima.”</p><br /><br /><p>She smiled at him again. “I became a teacher here when I was forty-five. I was born a Yaxley and drank pure blood traditions with my mother’s milk. I was married at fourteen to Maximillien Vector, an octogenarian who was last of his line and who had finally succumbed to family pressure to beget an heir. His first love, his only love had been Arithmancy. Taking his child bride on as a student was the best way he knew to show his affection. Being rather smarter and more mature than I owe to have been at that age, I understood that, and excelling at Arithmancy was my way to show it.</p><br /><br /><p>“I can honestly say that by the time I received my Mastery and gave birth to Primo, our first child, my husband and I loved each other. We went on to have three more children, and cooperated in writing two seminal books on applied Arithmancy. When my husband died, at a hundred and twelve, I could not even imagine ever loving anyone else. Our children were grown, three of them married, Primo the father of two already, so when the position here came open, I took it. It was the best decision I ever made. I love teaching today as much as the day I started, and I love Hogwarts.” </p><br /><br /><p>She laughed. “You must wonder why I am telling you all this.”</p><br /><br /><p>“You honour me by sharing your history,” answered Severus honestly.</p><br /><br /><p>Once again, the warmth of her smile touched him. “Thank you, my dear. I am sure you have found, in your years of teaching that once in a while, there comes a student who makes it all worthwhile, and to whom, secretly, you become attached.”</p><br /><br /><p>Severus smiled, knowing exactly what she meant, and answered, “Luna Lovegood. An extraordinary brewer: exceptionally talented, intuitive, knowledgeable, curious. A gift and a joy to teach.”</p><br /><br /><p>She nodded. “Yes. They only come around every decade or so. And of all the exceptional students I had in my ridiculously long career, one stands out above all the rest. You, Severus. For five years, you made teaching a joy. You made Arithmancy exciting again, and you rekindled my love both for my chosen profession and for my subject.”</p><br /><br /><p>She laughed again. “You looked so young just now, pleased and embarrassed at the same time. Think of Miss Lovegood, and how much you enjoyed teaching her, and you will know there is nothing to be embarrassed about.”</p><br /><br /><p>“You are right, of course, Septima. I am delighted of your esteem and grateful you confided in me. I felt, right or wrong, that I had redeemed myself when the Dark lord fell, and started, in my mind at least, with a clean slate, an even scale. I shall put the joy I brought to my Arithmancy teacher on the positive side of the scale and enjoy it.”</p><br /><br /><p>She smiled. “Through the years, Albus consulted me often regarding the influence of your particular magical signature on the events developing, though he knew my hypothesis were little better than guesswork. Arithmancy’s most reliable results are based on thousands of factors and their relationships. To try and untangle and follow one thread in the tapestry is a fool’s errand. Yet the actions of a few strands seemed to make remarkable differences in the outcome of our fight against Voldemort. Mr. Potter’s of course, then that of that horrible little rat of a man, but most of all yours.</p><br /><br /><p>“Harry Potter may have killed Voldemort, but you are the one who really brought him down. Without you, Mr. Potter would have failed in over fifty percent of my projections. Would you be so kind as to pour more tea?”</p><br /><br /><p>Severus felt ridiculously vindicated for the choices he had made, the personal toll he had paid, the public scorn he had suffered. He <i>had</i> been essential to Potter’s success. He poured the tea, which had been kept warm by a spell.</p><br /><br /><p>“Thank you dear. Please forgive the rambling of an old woman. I have a point, though how it took so long for me to get to it is unfathomable.” She laughed again. She leaned forward, and placed a hand on his arm.</p><br /><br /><p>“Severus, you are yet young. You have given much and deserve many rewards. Open yourself to those who care about you, my dear. Seek friends, and companionship. And when it comes, regardless of its provenance, let love into your heart, and share your life with the man who returns it. Trust this old woman, who ninety years later still finds fulfilment in the thirty years of love shared with her husband.<br /><br />Nothing in this world beats the happiness of loving and being love in return. Nothing compares to a smile from the man you love and nothing is more pleasurable than a good shag.”</p><br /><br /><p>Severus was shocked into laughing out loud, an ever more unaccustomed sensation than his earlier smiles. Septima joined him in mirth, and they both laughed whole-heartedly for some minutes. Finally, still smiling, and noticing it didn’t feel quite as odd, Severus said, “Thank you, Madam, I shall keep that in mind.” Which got Septima to chortle again as she wiped her eyes.</p><br /><br /><p>“Your chanterelles look a bit wilted, Severus. I’m not sorry I kept you so long, but I suspect those ingredients need tending to.”</p><br /><br /><p>One look in his basket told him she was right. “Thank you for a delightful interlude in my monotonous day, Septima, and believe me when I say I shall keep your advice in mind.”</p><br /><br /><p>“And thank you for the flowers. That was most thoughtful of you. Have a nice evening dear.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Good evening to you as well.” Severus took his leave. He thought about what she had said, and thought about the note in his drawer as well. Back in his quarters, he put the basket under a stasis spell, sat at his desk and opened said drawer to read the note again.</p><br /><br /><p>Git,</p><br /><br /><p>Far be it from me to use your given name once denied the familiarity!</p><br /><br /><p>Dictaquills offer a wide range of possible calligraphy, the cursive you obviously thought of as feminine being only one of them. I hope this new handwriting will leave you in no doubt as to my gender. </p><br /><br /><p>The amazing thing about students is that, once they sit their NEWTs, they are students no more.</p><br /><br /><p>Hopefully it is something we can both look forward to.</p><br /><br /><p>Respectfully yours.</p><br /><br /><p>Next, he picked up the list of names. One of these young men was attracted to him, and was looking forward to graduating so as to be able, he assumed, to pursue a relationship with him. Wrenching his eyes away from the name his eyes always seem to seek, he looked at the ones that were circled. With the years, he had developed a sense for recognizing potential sexual partners. He was quite sure these individuals were attracted to their own sex.</p><br /><br /><p>Angus McGraw<br /><br />Justin Finch-Finchley<br /><br />Seamus Finnegan<br /><br />Julius Marchbanks<br /><br />Blaise Zabini<br /><br />Of course, Draco Malfoy should have been on that list but no matter what, he would never be attracted to the insipid blond.</p><br /><br /><p>Finally, he took out the rather consequent booklet, which covered all of Hogwarts rules and regulations. After an hour spent reading it cover to cover, he was glad nothing contradicted his memory of his first reading of the book almost twenty years ago.</p><br /><br /><p>There were no rules against teachers entering into relationships or enjoying sexual congress with students who were of age and consenting. The only mention of such a situation was that “If a teacher and an adult student enter into a relationship sexual or otherwise, care must be taken to keep their interactions out of the public eye, and their connection as discreet as possible.” He could do that. </p><br /><br /><p>The first young man he ran into was Julius Marchbanks, of Ravenclaw. They were both on their way to lunch.</p><br /><br /><p>“Hello, Mr. Marchbanks. How is your break, so far?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Uh… Pardon? Oh, my break! Uh.. Lot’s to review. NEWTS coming up, you know. Hmm. Uh… Yours sir?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Enjoyable. I am much better now.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Oh? Were you ill sir? Well I mean, of course you were, in a coma and everything. Right?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Right. Good day, Mr. Marchbanks.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Uh. Yeah. Bye sir.”</p><br /><br /><p>Well, this was not his secret correspondent. The boy looked terrified, and had no clue what Severus had been referring to. When he returned to his quarters, Severus put a precise line through his name.</p><br /><br /><p>He left a note for Blaise Zabini to come to his office that evening and discuss his plans for the future. Zabini had always been a most competent brewer, and might if nothing else, appreciate a leg up from his old Head of House.</p><br /><br /><p>“Good evening, Mr. Zabini. You are right on time.”</p><br /><br /><p>“I know punctuality is important to you sir. I am grateful you contacted me sir, as I wanted to speak to you but was at loss as how to bring it about.”</p><br /><br /><p>Well, that sounded promising. The young man continued.</p><br /><br /><p>“I am pleased you remembered my expressed desire in fourth year to study potion at the University level. I always worried you might have thought I was trying to ingratiate myself. I still want to go on in the field, and go for my Mastery. I was hoping for your support.”</p><br /><br /><p>Oh. Zabini was only thinking of Potions. Hmm… Well, he was a very good student.</p><br /><br /><p>“As you know,” answered Severus, “there are two ways to a Mastery: University study, or apprenticeship with a well respected Master. I am sure I do not need to tell you which is preferable. Cambridge’s program, as far as university education is concerned, is the only one I would consider adequate. However, if you wanted to apprentice, I would gladly put you in touch and recommend you to a Master I respect.<br /><br />Though I no longer teach the subject, I would have been open to the idea of taking you on as an apprentice, but I am unsure of my own future plans, and cannot at this time make that kind of commitment.”</p><br /><br /><p>Zabini’s dusky skin was not so dark that he was immune to blushing. “I am truly honoured, sir, and I know anyone you recommended would be great, but my… the person I am dating is going to apply to Cambridge for Charms, and we want to be together. I was hoping you would write me a letter of recommendation. The number of spots is limited, but with you as a sponsor… Well, sir, you are the greatest Potion Master in Europe, and that’s a fact. It would carry a lot of weight.”</p><br /><br /><p>Ah. The young man was in a serious relationship. Oh well. Three to go…</p><br /><br /><p>“I will be glad to write a letter of recommendation for you, but I will also give you a piece of unasked for, and I am sure, unwelcomed advice. You are nineteen years old, Mr. Zabini. Though your boyfriend could be the love of your life, you might want to reconsider choosing the less desirable path to your goal based on your current attachment. </p><br /><br /><p>“People change, situations change. You might live a long and fulfilling life together, but then again you might not. Base your decision on what you really want, on what is best for you. If it is meant to be, your feelings will endure the three-year separation, or, since most magical universities have excellent Charms programs, your boyfriend might perhaps consider choosing the location of his studies based on your needs, and not the other way around. Food for thought…”</p><br /><br /><p>Blaise Zabini’s smile was just a bit condescending. “What I really want and what is best for me are the same: to be with the man I love. If Cambridge was good enough for you, sir, it will be good enough for me.”</p><br /><br /><p>Severus was amused. “It was not good enough for me, Mr. Zabini. I graduated from Cambridge with a double Mastery, one in Potions, and one in Defence against the Dark Arts. I then proceeded to study potions for three further years with Damocles Belby, and assisted that remarkable scholar in his creation of the Wolfsbane. </p><br /><br /><p>“I learned more in the first six months of my apprenticeship with Master Belby than I did in my three years of university. Any competent fourth year coming out of Hogwarts could follow the courses at Cambridge. The level demanded of our NEWTS students, were I still teaching the course, would put you on par with some of its graduates. </p><br /><br /><p>“Coming from another program, most students, while well versed on theory, only know how to brew the OWL and NEWT required potions, a dozen in all. You are competent to brew every potion needed to truly understand Potion creation. I have always taught Potions as applied theory, and I know that, when Professor McGonagall hired your current Potion Professor, she insisted on that approach, though I have not kept abreast of what goes on in my old classroom.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Oh. But I’d heard…”</p><br /><br /><p>“That I started teaching here when I was only twenty-two? I graduated Hogwarts at seventeen, and I finished my double mastery at nineteen. I turned twenty-three three months after coming to Hogwarts. I was a very bright, very arrogant, and very unattractive, Mr. Zabini. There was little to distract me from my goals: to command respect, and to be admitted as quickly as possible in the Dark Lord’s inner circle. In my haste I forgot the importance of self-respect, and have spent the past fifteen years atoning for that oversight.”</p><br /><br /><p>“For what my opinion is worth, I would say your order of Merlin, First class, and the fact that DADA is every student’s favourite subject show that you have been redeemed, sir. I don’t know anyone who commands more respect than you do.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Thank you, Mr. Zabini.” Severus felt as if somehow, this simple comment had thawed yet another piece of his heart.</p><br /><br /><p>Zabini laughed. “I’m glad this conversation occurred after you’d already said you’d write me a letter of recommendation or even consider taking me as an apprentice, otherwise, it might be misconstrued as the worst example of kissing up ever, and I might be thrown out of Slytherin.”</p><br /><br /><p>“I’d have petitioned for it myself,” answered Severus, chuckling. The look on Mr. Zabini’s face reminded him that he did <i>not</i> chuckle, and he ended up smiling at the young man, that knew expression he’d only recently acquired.</p><br /><br /><p>“I will have that letter ready for you in the next few days, Mr. Zabini, and though I am no longer your official head of house, do not hesitate to come to me. I am afraid that I still consider the seventh years ‘my’ Slytherins. The only difference is that now, if you are interrupting something, I’ll make a time for you to return later.”</p><br /><br /><p>“Thank you very much sir. I like Professor Vector an awful lot, but you have known me since I was a boy. It makes a difference.”</p><br /><br /><p>As soon as Zabini left, Severus walked to his desk and put a line through his name. He reflected, though, that he was glad he had spoken to the young man. He truly wished him well, and hoped he would reconsider his decision to put his love life ahead of his education.</p><br /><br /><p>It was only nine, and today was Tuesday, a day when like-minded wizards went out to public houses for discreet encounters. Most straight people were not even aware that it was so, though most of the establishments owners knew that they often rented rooms for one night to single wizards on Tuesdays, only to often find them empty, sometimes with the bed in disarray but not even opened, by closing time.</p><br /><br /><p>He made his way to the Three Broomsticks. It was chancy during the breaks, but Rosmerta knew him <i>very</i> well, and could be counted on to be absolutely discreet.</p><br /><br /><p>He entered, and made for his favourite place at the bar, in the shadowy, far corner where he could easily observe and not be seen. Rosmerta smiled at him, and brought him a Vodka on ice, something he only drank on Tuesdays.</p><br /><br /><p>Predictably, there were several groups of students present and amusingly, two of his next three prospects were in attendance. It was a coincidence that he noticed that Potter and both his friends were part of the interesting Gryffindor/Slytherin gathering as well. Seamus Finnegan was a nice looking man, with an easy laugh and dancing eyes. Tall, broad, reddish blond hair, blue eyes. Severus was neither a fan of freckles nor of space between front teeth, but he could live with those. His best friend Dean Thomas was actually more attractive, with a secretive smile and perfectly symmetrical features, but his arm was around Susan Bones, and the admiring glances at her décolletage and the infatuated look on his face made it clear he was not on offer.</p><br /><br /><p>Surprisingly, Draco Malfoy was sitting next to Potter, and they seemed to get along beautifully, joking and laughing. On Potter’s other side was Ginny Wealsey, of course, and across from them, her brother and Miss Granger, an unlikely but obviously affectionate couple. Across from Malfoy was Severus’s second Ravenclaw interest. Angus McGraw was the quiet type, and average in everyway. Brown hair, brown eyes, pleasant features, five foot ten, average build, pleasant voice, average student, drinking butter beer.<br /><br />He laughed at the other’s jokes, but did not say much himself.</p><br /><br /><p>He would have made a perfect spy. A half a dozen sixth-year Gryffindors and Slytherins completed the table, underage all, and therefore of no interest.</p><br /><br /><p>Taking his eyes off the students, Severus looked around the room. He noted the two tables of three men, friends out for the evening. Alone, one was stuck at the bar, on display. In pair, it was unclear to others whether or not you were part of a couple. So three was the usual number for gay men looking for companionship for an evening. From his dark corner, Severus looked the six men over. One of them, with a dark ponytail and sensuous lips was very much his type.</p><br /><br /><p>The next time Rosmerta came his way to put down a case of empties under the bar in exchange for one of full butter beers, he just said, “Rosmerta, a drink, for the man with the ponytail.” She smiled and nodded in acknowledgement.</p><br /><br /><p>A few minutes later, she put down a drink in front of the man, making sure she put it on a coaster, which otherwise she hardly ever used. She exchanged a few words with the three men, and left. The man’s neighbour spoke to him briefly, making Severus smile interiorly. He had spent an evening with that man over a year ago, and left him languid and exhausted, a smile on his lips, in one of the rooms upstairs.</p><br /><br /><p>Ponytail looked in his direction, and Severus moved forward into the warm light of the wall torch, raising an inquiring eyebrow. Yes, Mr. Turpin. Your old Professor looks much the same as he did ten years ago. How would you like to have him suck your cock? The man picked up his new drink, a signal he was willing, and drank it in one go, showing his enthusiasm.</p><br /><br /><p>Rosmerta must have somehow followed the exchange, because without any more need for communication from Severus, she went back to the table, cleaned up the dirties, and dropped a key in front of Samuel Turpin. Looking in Snape’s direction, he raised three fingers. He would be in the room in thirty minutes. </p><br /><br /><p>Severus, looking forward to a good shag, relaxed against the wall, and took up observing the customers again. Potter, still laughing at one of his friends’ joke, got up to make his way to the loo.</p><br /><br /><p>Merciful Merlin! What the fuck was Potter wearing? Severus did not even notice his sudden drop into the vernacular, far too busy watching this… this… gorgeous piece of ar… man walk by. His jeans fit him like only spell to fit jeans can, not too tight, no, but perfectly displaying everything worth displaying, which in this case was, god, everything inch of Potter’s body. The white muscle shirt might have been painted on, had it not ridden up to flash a dark treasure trail with each step, and the open shirt on top was just transparent enough to show off the shadows of the shoulder and arm muscles. He was not wearing trainers, but some dark leather lace up boots.</p><br /><br /><p>Every gay man’s eye in the pub followed his progress, and Severus wanted to slap every one of them down, on behalf of Ginny Weasley, of course. Why in the world would she let her boyfriend go out dressed like <i>that!</i>. Two men who had been standing at the bar, and one of Samuel Turpin’s companions got up, suddenly needing to use the facilities. Unbelievable. Severus was tempted to follow, just to see how Potter would handle himself. Then he saw Angus McGraw head out the back door, and noted the absence of one Draco Malfoy, and he decided to head that way instead, since the staircase to the rooms was next to the back exit anyway.</p><br /><br /><p>He made his way outside into the alley quietly, a ‘Notice Me Not’ charm around him, and moving with his usual stealth. Slightly further down the alley, Malfoy, his robe open and trousers mid thighs, was already energetically fucking McGraw in an entryway.</p><br /><br /><p>“Spread your legs further and leaned a bit more,” said Malfoy, “I’ll be able to fuck you harder. Yeah… Like that.”</p><br /><br /><p>“God, that’s good. Harder! Yeah… Can you go deeper? Oh Merlin, yes! Like that! Right there!”</p><br /><br /><p>The two were well matched, and good friends, it seems, not hesitating to ask for what they wanted. Grunts and moans punctuated their obviously very satisfying coupling, becoming more urgent after a while.</p><br /><br /><p>“God, I love to fuck you, Gus, you are such a cock slut. You like a cock up your arse, don’t you?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Fuck, Draco, this is so good, I love a cock up my arse, a hard, long cock, like yours. Work it, oh, fuck, work it hard! Faster, I’m close. Come first, I want to feel your spunk in me when I come. Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, you’re coming hard! So warm, ah, so wet, aahhh, yeah…fuck yeah…”</p><br /><br /><p>They collapsed on the door, laughing. </p><br /><br /><p>“You are such a bossy bottom!” said Draco.</p><br /><br /><p>“A big bossy bottom and proud of it,” answered Angus, chortling. “That was really good. Fuck, Drake, I really wish you weren’t such a primadona and you’d feltch already. I’d love your tongue in my hole right now.”</p><br /><br /><p>As he retreated inside, Severus, hard and ready, hoped the half hour was passed. Between Potter and that little peep show, he was hard and wetting the front of his pants already. But that was one more he could scratch off his list. He entered the room at the left of the stairs, where Samuel Turpin was naked, on the bed, and caressing an impressive cock. Severus closed the door and leaned on the jamb, a smirk on his face. “Nice view,” he said.</p><br /><br /><p>“Will you really take it up the arse?”</p><br /><br /><p>“I would not have it any other way.” </p><br /><br /><p>“When I was a student, I would have totally figured you as a top.”</p><br /><br /><p>Severus unclasped his robes and opened his placket letting out his own impressive erection. And moved to the bed. “The world is full of surprises. I have many buttons to remove, why don’t you come and suck on that while I do so?”</p><br /><br /><p>Samuel smiled, lay on his belly and obeyed enthusiastically. “Fuck, you’re cock is gorgeous,” he said, grinning up at Severus.</p><br /><br /><p>Severus grinned back, leaned a bit forward and smacked him on the arse. “Less talking, more sucking.”</p><br /><br /><p>Samuel chortled and swallowed him whole, gagging but not caring. Ahh. Severus’s kind of man.</p><br /><br /><p>It was after two in the morning when he walked back to Hogwarts, three orgasms lighter. He had realized, somewhere in the middle of the evening, that his last fuck had been almost a year before. Yet, until the second note calling him a git, he had not missed sex. His secret correspondent had managed to remind him to eat, to talk, to brew, and now to fuck, truly bringing him back to life.</p><br /><br /><p>He was fairly good at identifying other gay men. Sadly, if it was McGraw, it would never work, on the bases of their sexual incompatibility. Severus had no interest in topping, and apparently neither did Angus. So unless he had missed someone, it left Finnegan or Finch–Fletchley. </p><br /><br /><p>He got his answer a couple of days later, when he went looking for Zabini to hand him his letter of recommendation. When he inquired as to his whereabouts from the first Slytherin who came out of the common room, a third year whose name he could not recall told him with a sneer that Zabini had gone to meet his <i>study partner</i> in the library, hinting quite clearly that the truth was otherwise.</p><br /><br /><p>“And that bothers you, Mr. Rockwood?”</p><br /><br /><p>“Perverts like him are an embarrassment to Slytherin,” the child answered.</p><br /><br /><p>“Then so am I,” said Severus, tired of the dishonest bigotry of his own house. “Although, not so much as your father and brother, for what greater shame can there be to Slytherin than once having housed Death Eaters who never considered the absurdity of licking a half blood’s boot while spouting out pure blood propaganda?”</p><br /><br /><p>He left, berating himself for his lack of control. He would have to go and confess to Septima later so she could check on the child. </p><br /><br /><p>He had almost caught up to Zabini, who was about to enter the library, when a voice rang out.</p><br /><br /><p>“Blaise, wait up!” and Seamus Finnegan ran up to the Slytherin, waiving a piece of paper. “It’s all good!” He stopped upon reaching him and grinned. “It wasn’t rented yet. You’ll love it, it’s right next to campus!” Zabini smiled back, and enveloped the Irish boy in a hug, both of them laughing happily and they entered the library together, Zabini with his arm around the Gryffindor’s shoulder.</p><br /><br /><p>Severus decided to report his errand to another day, giving the boys a chance to celebrate having apparently secured lodging for the following year. He went back to his rooms, and put a line through Seamus Finnegan’s name.</p><br /><br /><p></p><center><br /><br /><p>_-_-_-_-_-_</p></center><a href="http://snarryglompfest.dreamwidth.org/525.html">GO TO CHAPTER TWO</a><br /><br /><p><br /> <a href="http://snarryglompfest.livejournal.com/13192.html">COMMENT BACK AT LJ</a><br /></p><br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=snarryglompfest&ditemid=490" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> comments